spud
|
::
2005 27 September :: 10.28pm
all the wonderful news.
so. i have a bunch and oodles and lots of homework to do.
and i really fucking need groceries. and i have about five dollaz. so, i figure it would be nice to see mom and have her buy me stuff.
5 hours later i'm just really pissed off. and suddenly food doesn't seem worth it.
not to mention i didn't get jack shit done on the homework front.
i'm going to have to rock the German until midnight. then crash hard.
and just wing my fucking communications paper last minute.
and when i get out of COM, i guess i'm meeting up with adam so he can tow my car over to a shop that bruce frequents so they can finish the mess that i started. because i'm obviously incapable. i guess i'm just too slow and stupid to work on cars. who'da thunk, right?
and i got a fucking 84% on friday's essay. which, coming from that teacher, means that it was a good paper. just not a standout in the awesomeness dept. whatev. he just doesn't seem to be on my wavelength. but still a cool guy. he likes suck ups. and i've never been a suck up. and i'm not sure i'm willing to become one for a single letter grade. maybe my tune will change. i'm just pissed at myself for getting into this mess.
but now that i'm here, i have to get out.
i'm tired of this constant feeling that i'm doing something horribly wrong, that everyone else naturally seems to just GET.
Cock fuck.
you know what i want. i want to fall asleep right now. get 11 hours of gorgeous sleep, full of wonderful dreams, and when i wake up, have jackie be laying there next to me. and then i can make her breakfast. and we could go for a walk after breakfast. and then go see some sort of concert or play or something. then we could race go-carts. then we would go swimming and relax on the beach. followed by a walk through the woods. then a bonfire, with lots of friends. then back to bed, so we could watch a movie and fall asleep in each other's arms.
and will even ONE of those things happen?
no.
and i need to move practice with rob to friday. thursday is the newton research meeting. and i'm still looking to get more involved on campus. an irrefutably moronic pursuit, given my current condition. but then again, when haven't i been a moron?
i heard the snare line again tonight... :-(
2 comments |
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 27 September :: 3.10am
2 AM muffin session...
i am pooped.
final count:
5 pages.
1,611 words.
and i totally milked the margins. i hope she doesn't notice. or i can just play stupid. it's only 15% of my grade...
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 26 September :: 6.34pm
a perpetual case of the cosmic horn?
nope. no red-bottomosity here.
anyway. i'm about halfway through my paper. it's been about 3/4 hours of work. no good.
i keep hitting standstills.
so, i think i'm gonna go grab some dinner or something. just get out of here for awhile. then it's back to the grindstone.
i also did laudry today. --- jigga what!?
p.s.
|
justadreamer
|
::
2005 23 September :: 5.17pm
Hurricane Rita.
It's going to hit us late tonight and tomorrow, but by then it'll be a 'tropical storm'. Winds are supposed to get up to be 40-60 with 'strong wind gusts at times', which wouldn't be so bad, except that I live in a trailer. We're not leaving either. I think a few of our neighbors are, though.
Oh. Isn't it funny that our RV is more likely to survive these winds than our trailer?
We've got some kids from New Orleans at our school, I think, in the younger grades. Poor kids. Poor people who evacuated from Louisiana, just to get hit by Hurricane Rita, and then there's the tornadoes that will probably spring up because of the front from the north hitting the air from the hurricane.
I think I've only ever seen a 100% chance of rain a couple of times before. The one time that I remember vividly was when I was around 4 years old. I went outside and was swinging around a pole under the stairs (in the apartment complex we used to live in). It was misting. It never rained.
Fun.
Anyway, I think I'm going to go outside for a bit. The wind's only around 15 mph right now. Nevermind all the sand.
Yay windchimes.
1 comment |
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 23 September :: 10.42am
i don't have any pictures of me playing drums...
we'll have to fix that.
i thought of it because i'm decorating the door. it's HAWTT!
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 4 August :: 10.08pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: coldplay - high speed
from my archived letters to god...
Well. College starts in a few weeks. That should be interesting. As per usual, I’m absurdly unprepared for it all… but I suppose I should get used to that if I intend to keep living life the way I do. Although that seems to be a big bone of contention with Jackie and her mom. Not so much contention as unrest, I suppose. Just the fact that I’m always so “busy”. They think nobody my age should be that busy. And I’m equally frustrated that despite the business, I so rarely feel I have accomplished anything worthwhile. But you know better, even if I don’t see it.
And as for Jackie and her mom, I know they’re absolutely correct; but I think age has little to do with it. I would sooner say that nobody should ever be too busy. And I need to get it through my thick skull that I accomplish more, and make more gratifying societal contributions, when – although I’m trying to accomplish things – I’m not in a hurry, I’m not overwhelmed (or even just whelmed, as the case may be), and I’m never EVER “too busy”. It is my responsibility, duty, and privilege to make the most out of every situation I am placed in. to know that I’m right where and when I should be… because you want me there, so you put me there, and I should embrace the aberrations and adapt to the alterations that take place in my life.
To fight is a waste of energy.
Tonight is the place for love.
This life is but a gift to me,
And strife the only plight to shove.
One of these days I’ll actually write some shit that makes sense, in addition to sounding good. As of yet, I can only do one of those at a time. I should just stick with what sounds good.
- page two -
(this is where it gets mushy)
I really do love Jackie so much, somehow. I know that sounds bad, but I don’t mean it to. She’s certainly not unlovable; quite the contrary. And she never ceases to amaze me, in innumerable ways. For instance:
I’m definitely not incapable of loving someone. I love lots of people. But, the ones I love most often get the worst of me. And Jackie is no exception.
I just can never find the right words for her… and all the bad things I do, whether habitually or instinctually – things I’ve eradicated from all the other facets of my life – have crept up with her from time to time. Maybe it’s just that I’m so relaxed in her presence… which I’m immensely thankful for and simultaneously awed by. I don’t know. It could be anything. I just know I desperately want to stop inadvertently being such an ass. I’m sure I wouldn’t do it on purpose.
It’s just so vitally important. I love her in a way that I’ve never felt for anybody else in my life. Not that I haven’t loved, but this is something bigger, something more. And I’m just begging you to not let me fuck it up. Because, when left to my own devices… let’s just say things don’t go so hot.
Speaking of hot, it’s quite toasty in here (the van). It’s been about 45 minutes, and there is a film of permanent adhesion that has been formed between the seat cover and me by my perspiration. It’s quite disgusting. But dad and Kathy should be done in the chapel soon, so then I can roll down the window and dry off some.
Thanks for always listening. I feel so much better now. You’re the greatest.
Chris.
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 22 September :: 10.05am
es regnet...
DONNER UND BLITZ!!!
translation of previous:
i have a medium-sized family. my grandpa on my dad's side is named Wilson. my grandma on my dad's side is named Mary Jane. my grandpa on my mom's side (deceased) was named Harry. my grandma on my mom's side is named Wilma. My dad's name is Marty and my mom's name is Roxanne. My parents are divorced, and both have 3 siblings. my stepfather's name is Bruce. my stepmother's name is Kathy. i have one sister, Libby. and also 2 dogs.
see? now YOU can learn german too!
2 comments |
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 22 September :: 1.30am
:: Mood: zombie
:: Music: the sounds of silence (no, really...)
my boundless awesomosity
alright. so i finished Gargantua. i won't say it was a waste of time. but good gravy. they kicked everyones ass... then were really humble and gracious about it. everyone got what they wanted. and the monk started an abbey for hippies. and it went ON AND ON about what the hippies wore, and what they did, and the architecture of the abbey and whose butts they wiped with downy goosenecks in altruistic generosity...zzzzz. then the riddle about tennis. wtf? eh. i'll let it go. Rabelais was a heavy drinker. that's my reasoning.
but i'm most proud of meine haus-arbeite in Deutsch. okay. i don't remember how to say "homework". so sue me. i at least remembered enough to kick total ass on it. i had to write 8-10 sentences about my family tree. here 'tis:
Ich habe eine mittelgroße Familie. Mein Großvater väterlicherseits heißt Wilson. Meine Großmutter väterlicherseits heißt Mary Jane. Mein Großvater mütterlicherseits (verstorben) heißt Harry. Meine Großmutter mütterlicherseits heißt Wilma. Mein Vater heißt Martin und meine Mutter heißt Roxanne. Mein Eltern ist geschieden und auch haben drei Geschwistern. Mein Stiefvater heißt Bruce. Meine Stiefmutter heißt Kathy. Ich habe eine Schwester Libby. Und auch zwei Hund.
11 sentences. and i used a couple of words that WEREN'T ON THE PAGE!!!! meaning, i remembered them. and used them accurately. i just hope i spelled them right. well, i got hund right, obviously. i'm worried more about gescheiden and geschwistern. they're close.
she'll know what i meant. *blows raspberry*
aren't you all overjoyed at my success in multilingual endeavours?
i'm sure.
i'll go take a shower now. and i wouldn't oppose a nap tomorrow afternoon. but i'll be expecting a phone call sometime between the hours of 4 and 9... so, maybe no nap. that's alright. it's worth it.
i have to write 3 papers before next wednesday. it's only because i've put them off for this long. damn that procrastination.
if i played my music really loud, i wonder how long it would take Kelsey (my R.A.) to come yell at me. i passed her on the sidewalk today. i think she smiled at me. for some reason she's usually scowling at me. well. i smiled back. and bekah said hi today too. although, it's hard for her to not pass by every once in awhile... her room's at the end of the hall. and i've half given up on communications mystery girl (i don't remember her name). she seems pretty interested in Pat. not that i blame her. he's a fucking cool guy. eh. i was gonna ask her about the musical today, but she wasn't done with her test yet. so i just left. and i think Cara and i are doing the study group thing tomorrow. marcus seems kind of unreliable. i'm going to suggest the library. it's a good place to pick up on vibes and stuff. i mean, research things. and print things off. because the lappy hasn't miraculously started spewing printed pages out its front just yet.
sorry. i'm rambling.
shower time.
8 comments |
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 21 September :: 10.15pm
:: Mood: tired.
:: Music: Genesis - nursery cryme
blehg, etc.
is it wrong that i just want to crawl into bed.
i need to at the very least finish my German HW. and i really should do the rest of Gargantua... so that way i can get machiavelli out of the way tomorrow during lunch. i hope that's enough time. then tomorrow night i need to write my paper for Professor Eick.
in other news, we got the drive flanges back on the donor transmission - with new seals, of course. and i halfway disassembled the drivers side inner CV joint, due to contaminants in the grease. i couldn't fully disassemble it without removing it from the shaft, so i just did what i could. so, i have grease for packing on friday, once the new transmission is in. it'd be silly to pack them sooner. and i have new fluid for friday, so i can flush the system once. and then i'll run it for awhile, then put the primo fluid in, as soon as i can find the shit. i figure the cheap stuff won't hurt for a couple thousand miles anyway. and i'm pretty sure this transmission doesn't have an LSD. gar. oh well. i'm not about to tear it apart now. i'll just crack the other one open when dad gets a shop. hopefully it won't become any more urgent than that. and i'll need to find a home for the bad transmission until such a time that i CAN crack into it.
i think friday's going to be a huge PITA, because i'll need to realign all the motor mounts and everything. i'd like to try and clean things up a bit down there too... but that probably won't happen. and i'd like to swap out the shift lever while i'm in there. but that might have to wait. it'll just be nice to have the linkages properly aligned again. and *cross your fingers* have a full fluid reservoir. that would be fantabulous. i still need to roll the fenders and maybe raise the front end a little bit. hector shyed me away from that. he's a big fan of the low center of gravity... obviously. but at the very least, i should at least sure up the exhaust while it's up in the air. and i'd like to get that floor pan taken care of. but i've monopolized karl's garage for long enough. the car will be out and rollable by the time i leave friday. i don't care how long it takes. it's getting done.
but sadly, my homework isn't; not with me prattling on, here, now is it? well, i bid you all a fond adieu. and with much ado (of course).
love and stuff. < i'm awaiting your call... :-) >
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 20 September :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: pissed. at myself. like always.
:: Music: Genesis - selling england by the pound.
Gargantua and Pantagruel...
so. that was a brilliant way to waste three hours. because i have SO much spare time...
i'm a moron.
and after it all, i still didn't save any fucking lives!
and on the walk back i heard the snares practicing late. god i miss it.
i seriously think i'm going to try and get into the pit. if there is a pit.
it's late. i have a quiz tomorrow. and a test. and. ugh.
i totally fucked myself this weekend. and next weekend is filling up incredibly fast.
saturday:
- car to billy's / board from billy's.
- jackie party thing... (permitting i'm still invited.)
sunday:
- tunnel park BBQ. which i may have to scrap. but i really don't want to.
and i need to figure out when i can do coffee with mle.
i do it to myself.
that's probably why it makes me so mad.
5 comments |
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 20 September :: 10.38am
:: Mood: ... okay, i guess
:: Music: BnL - the wrong man was convicted
fer teh fil!
Dear Christopher,
I would be happy to talk with you. The first thing I think you should do is come down to a Symphony rehearsal at DeVos Hall. See what your schedule is for next week. We can do sort of a job shadow thing. I would recommend next Thursday evening. That is our dress rehearsal for our next Classical concert. I could talk with management about you sitting up on stage with us. also our recording engineer will be there and you can meet him and talk with him. In the mean time my phone number is 446-XXXX. I would ask that you do not give that out to anyone since it is my cell phone. I look forward to talking with you.
Sincerely,
David Gross, Principal Timpanist
Grand Rapids Symphony
3 comments |
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 19 September :: 10.48am
this is dated january 18, 2005
Dear Mr. Gross,
i'm not really too sure where to start, because my request is obscure, and my story is equally bizarre. i guess my best bet is to just give a brief rundown.
my name is Christopher Best. i am a senior at Cedar Springs High School. when i took my SATs i got a 750 in math and expressed an interest in music. the Peabody Conservatory received these statistics and sent me a mailing advertising their Recording Arts and Sciences program. every single thing i read in the letter really seemed to nail my situation. that mailing is practically the sole cause of my interest in peabody. i have, since i received the letter, applied to the peabody and have scheduled an audition. an audition which is in a little over a month. i've been asking around about what i can expect, because i've never done this before, and have been disappointed. what can i say? Cedar is the farthest place in the world from culture, and my family is useless. i've always had a knack and a passion for music, but i lack an extremely formal education. i'm in school band, i've been to Blue Lake, and i dabble in my spare time - of course i'm always LISTENING to music - but that's really about it. i believe i have the capacity and potential to do great things in music, but i'm also extremely afraid i got in over my head. i expressed this fear to my M.S.W. , and he suggested talking to somebody from the Symphony. a phone call later i was provided with your email from the 'personnel manager,' i believe it was (he was exceedingly cordial). so, i'm just hoping to get to talk so somebody sometime, or at least get some feedback from a person who knows better what the heck is going on - because i'm a tad bit lost. for all the 'help' and 'career advisement' that i've been offered, they really left me hanging.
anything at all that you can offer me will be beneficial, even if it's consolation for being delusional. i was just looking for some straight talk from anyone who had the credentials to give it.
i have also sent an email identical to this one to your associate, Mr. Hall.
many preemptive thanks,
Christopher Best
... wow.
a lot has changed. my home. my girlfriend. my college. my lifestyle. everything.
in under a year, my life has undergone a total revamp.
and yet i'm still the same guy i've always been. nothing special. nothing fancy. wow.
just amazing. and i never would've guessed it.
5 comments |
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 18 September :: 11.06am
etc.
well. i picked up the transmission yesterday... it was filthy. so i took it back to karl's and bathed it in mineral spirits. it's still ugly... but it's a darn sight better than it was. now i'm going to flush it out with brakleen and try and get the exterior nice and pretty. i might even repaint the end cap thingy. that cool fluorescent green. mmm. anyway. oh, i also pulled both of the driveaxles. so, next phase is to get fluid, brakleen, new axles, maybe new seals for the donor tranny. hector's supposed to be showing up soon, so i'll ask him about the next phase of the operation. and i thought it was really interesting that karl had the bentley for a '79 rabbit. i was disappointed i didn't have access to it sooner. because i would have used it like crazy on the blue bunny. speaking of which, i finally found someone to take it.
bruce and i went to buses by the beach last night, and i talked to billy. next saturday we're gonna trailer the blue bunny over to billy's house. i give him the rabbit and 250, and he gives me a really nice 24 channel, 4 buss, Mackie board. SCORE!!!! not only do i get rid of my old crap. which i will miss dearly. but i also get newer cooler crap. always awesome.
yeah. that's all. i mean, i haven't done any homework... but at least i'm making some sort of progress. it's a very refreshing sensation.
but i still smell like grease and mineral spirits. it feels good.
LOVE! PEACE! SEXUAL INDISCRETION!
p.s.
|
|
justadreamer
|
::
2005 18 September :: 3.23am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Mad World" - Gary Jules
And I Find It Kind Of Funny
I Find It Kind Of Sad..
I'm reading three books currently:
Animal Farm, by George Orwell, for English III.
Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury, for myself.
Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte, for myself.
Books to be read:
Eldest, by Christopher Paolini, for myself.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by JK Rowling, for myself (rereading it).
Fun, fun.
Isn't it great how amazingly screwed up things can get? Kind of keeps you on your toes. Thank God for fan-fiction and books to distract you from reality. Too bad you've always got to come back.
Hopefully scheduling a doctors appointment on Tuesday or Wednesday. I need it. Also, supposed to get a haircut and license sometime this week. Hurrah.
Well, it's 3:29AM now, so I really should go sleep a few hours; don't want to sleep too late.
1 comment |
p.s.
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 16 September :: 10.15am
:: Music: the verve pipe - ominous man
was ist das wetter heute?
es regnet. und kühle.
i think one of my current favorite words (there's a running tally) is this:
mêlée.
just because of the crazy accents.
i love these headphones. and recording at 1 Mbps.
sleep is better, though.
lederhosen auf der tische. i think i've said that one before. or is it dem tische? fuck.
4 comments |
p.s.
|
|
