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godessalthena (profile) wrote,
on 6-6-2013 at 11:00am
Music: displaced
So, been on the methylated folate for maybe 4 days, which I'm not sure is long enough to notice a change, but the past few days I've felt worse than normal...

Last night was the worst. I had all these horrible, negative, disgusting thoughts racing through my head. And nothing helped to turn them off. I haven't been sleeping very well lately, and the past few days I've been feeling foggy, dizzy and completely out of it. I've been more irritable lately too.

I'm excited for the future and I'm proud of where my life is going, but I just feel wrong. I can't help but look at all the people I love, see their problems and know that all I really can do is be there and that's it... It's hard. I probably interfere more than I should, but its next to impossible to just watch...

In my life I'm still fighting the good fight, but knowing that ultimately I will lose. It wears me down and all I want to do is find means to escape.
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goodbye

06-06-13 7:11pm

How do you know you will lose?

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godessalthena

Re: , 06-07-13 6:08pm

Because nothing will ever change and all my struggling will end in the opposite outcome from what I desired. All that really matters is I died fighting anyway, it's just hard to keep fighting on.

Everyone loses in the end, it's just a fact of life.

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goodbye

Re: Re: , 06-08-13 3:11am

Whatevs. I know you're happy. No one can fake that beautiful smile <3

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