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DayDream (profile) wrote, on 10-30-2002 at 10:20am | |
\"Sing me a song\" what she always told me. Her eyes would watch me with such great intent, like how a little girl looks at the simplest things in high hope of figuring out its great mystery. I\'d move my lips and hope some noise would come about. Some sound that wouldn\'t pierce her ears but wrather her mind. Something to remember. Inhale. Exhale. \"Just breathe\" she\'d say. \"It\'s just me.\" She\'d never know how much those words would scare me. Like a popularity contest i could never win. Yet, never hoped to. I can feel my air leaving my lungs now and racing through my throat. Eyes shut, too scared to be open. And my hands. How\'d they\'d shake just so slightly and how she\'d hold them. \"please, just one. for me?\" so sweetly said. To refuse would be harsh, but to follow through would be such tremendous strength. Inhale. Exhale. That smile she gets. She mouths the words. She tells me she likes it. She tells me to do it again. It feels as though it\'s just to fill up the awkwardness that has lately grown. The random silences that now occur that never used to. \"you never tell me anything anymore\" all i can think is i never have anything to say. How i wish you could see that what you\'ve seen is me. You think there\'s more but that\'s all there is. You say there\'s alot on my mind. Just empty spaces and the deep thought process of trying to think of clever and witty things to say. Carrying a conversation now is like an intellectual battle. A battle i\'ll always lose. I\'ll just sit on the floor, struggling, so as not to be engulfed by the room and the people who spice and flavor it. You say my character is a mystery, like a hard shell that is yet to be cracked. I try not to laugh and think you silly girl. if you only knew that the reason i am so quiet is by the simple intimidating vibe you posess. I am always thinking, yes that is correct. I am thinking of ways to match up to your insightful comments and clever remarks. So now you know. I am no great person, i am just me. A simple, mediocre girl who is yet to have her \"shell cracked.\" Oh, if you only knew. |
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sunsweet | 11-01-02 11:24am very insightful, i just wish i understood it... |
Anonymous | 11-13-02 8:24pm hey, that's tight, did you write that? |
DayDream | Re:, 11-13-02 11:24pm Yea, i wrote it. I must say i'm kinda shocked you checked it out...but thanks, it means a lot. |