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| emo414 (profile) wrote, on 12-28-2003 at 11:47am | |
| Current mood: worried Music: American Hi_FI - The Art of Losing Subject: Blue Eyes |
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| whats wrong with small imperfections? i dont underdstand why everyone longs to live in a perfect world when there will always be something wrong that happens. it could be a girl that wrecks a few months in your life but before that gave you 8 months of pure happiness up to the very last minute and second. there could also be one imperfection about yourself that you think makes you you but someone else longs to get rid of. its crazy how other people want to make someone else perfect for them. people should just be left alone and decide who they want to be. who cares if i have blue eyes or if the next guy to come along has green. they still may hold some of the same stories within them. blue eyes has changed though. i have many nex experiences and thoughts and feelings locked within the blue sea of my eye that may never be seen unless you unlock them. there was one point in time where you didnt have to open a lock to know me you just did and now we have distanced ourselves from eachother quite some distance and i have chained and locked my secrets. but truthfully my journal is a way to let a small part of blue eyes visible to everyone who wants to know my heart's aches and pains and a few laughs inbetween. this is to you, alex, when i think of you all of our fights and arguments do not come to mind all the time. most recently when i think of you i smile, just remembering the good times that we had, which there were tons, and just knowing that they will be mine until i let them fade away which i know will never happen until i fade away. i think i am slowly losing myself though. i think that what i was at the beginning has gone away and only a small part remains. i hope that small part we be brought back to the surface and i can become myself once again. who knows it might be when i move or when alex does but hopefully it will happen before i die. i will find myself and i believe that when i can have a certain person back in my life i will be a lot of the way back because that person makes up a huge part of me and my life. but there will always be the day i will lose her again and that will probably be the day i lose myself for good or until our next meeting. i hope things arent like they are now when i do loose her forever because then who knows when i will be me again. | |
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LindseyEthatsMe | 12-30-03 8:08pm thats really sad ryan...i wish you could stop hurting and i wish i could take back what i said about alex and i wish her friends wouldn't hate me and i wish a lot of things just like you and i wish i could take away your pain because everytime i read your entries i find myself longing to have those wishes more and more...i miss you so much since i've been gone and it hurts to read your entries miles away while on vacation and not know exacly what is going through your head like i usually do because i usually see you everyday...cant wait to get back and just see you again and be there for you. im sorry for whatever you're going through but this time im not blaming it on alex because i know its not at her fault. you're just going through a really difficult time right now and i wish i could change i but i cant and i could keep saying im sorry for you but that wont change anything. and i cant even say right now that im there for you because im thousands of miles away and this holiday is growing old and ive seen too many faces and pretended to smile too long. so all im going to say is i love you and can't wait to see you again at school... |
emo414 | Re:, 01-08-04 7:51pm bud thank you for all of the comments that you have left throughout my journal and the support thats in them. i will never forget how you were always there for me no matter what. thanks bud and i luv ya |