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| just_peachie (profile) wrote, on 2-19-2005 at 4:44pm | |
| Current mood: hurt, angry, mad, sad...but hopeful and headstrong Subject: EVERYONE SERIOUSLY NEEDS TO READ THIS |
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| It's definitely one of the worst feelings knowing that no matter how hard you try to escape your past and become someone new, your past will always follow you, and be the first thing to step into the lime light, overshaddowing the new and improved you. And it makes it even worse knowing that there's only a special few that will take the time to look at the person you are now, and the person who you've become. Justin, Jimi, Bruce, and Jenna, thats you. I'm so thankful for the second chance you have given me, and I promise you, this is who I am and will always be, no matter how dark the shaddow of my past wants to drown me out. The sad part is that the darker the shaddow the person see's in me, or someone else who wants/has changed, is only seen darker by the most credulous and most ignorant of people. The people who see for themselves, through their own eyes, and through actually KNOWING the person, are the only ones who should judge that person. This is where the biggest problem arises: just because you THINK you know me, doesn't mean you do. A good example of this is the rumor going around about me. ANYONE who ACTUALLY KNOWS ME would never EVER believe something like that, or pass the rumor along. Just so we're all clear, I'm actually going to say it: The rumor thats been going on lately, is that I have herpes. Herpes. And the only reason this is believed: because I hung out with Steve Norvell, and supposedly he has it. What the hell!? And yet again, this is another tricky part! Look closely, people! **I was only hanging out with him!** There's the key point! Marisa and Scott were dating, and everyone knows that at the time me and Marisa were best friends, and Scott and Steve were best friends. So now a lot of people sadly believe that just because I was around him, then I have herpes. Well, shit, that must mean that so do Marisa, Scott, and a whole heap of others have herpes too, if thats what you're basing it on, hangin out with the person. Because I know theres a shit load of you ignorant fucks that haven't asked me, and just gossiped and passed the rumor along. I'm sorry if you think that just because I was hanging out with Steve, that that means i did stuff with him, cuz if thats true then there we go with another problem. Contrary to popular belief, I don't just do stuff with guys. As a matter of fact, some of the biggest culprits in this rumor spreading are guys that thought they could just get a piece of ass, and I told them otherwise. -----So here I am, making my statement of the year: I have changed. I know that I've made some dumb mistakes in the past, everyone does. But I'm telling you, I've learned. I was sick of that life, and along with that, I really had no choice. With the past events of this year, I've had to grow up and get my shit together, just to survive. Living with my dad has made me become not just a student, but a housewife (well daughter), a working person in our society, and still trying to complete myself to the new person I wanted to be. A typical day goes like this for me: I get up and 5:30, get in the shower, do my hair, eat breakfast, get dressed, and make it out of the house by 7:00. The drive from my house to school is 20 minutes on a good day, but when its crappy out, about 35-40. After school, I go strait to work from 2:45 till 5:30-6:00 (that is if everything goes right), come home, pick up the house, start laundry, eat dinner, clean up, start homework around 8 ish, and go to bed at about 10:30-11:00. And on Saturdays when everyone's sleeping in, I get up and do the sweeping, mopping, dusting, cleaning toilets and sinks. I'm not asking for sympathy, or for pity parties. Just for understanding. And a second chance. People change. It's just the way life is. Even though to some of you my past may preceed me, and you have your mind all made up, don't judge me until you truly know me. And if you don't want to take the time to get to know me, just be mature enough to not talk about shit you have no idea about. I don't expect everyone to believe me, or to even like me for that matter. Thats unrealistic. But something everyone should do, is realize that we've all got choices and we've all got voices, and it's how we use them and what we do with them that truly matters. So next time you hear some juicy gossip or some hot rumor, think first. What if it was you? Do you honestly know this person? What do I accomplish by spreading this rumor? And I hope those who see the shaddow before the figure honestly look at themselves and put themselves in the other's shoes. Think if all you wanted to do was change your past, and start over and do it right, and everyone around you just laughed in your face. How do you think you would feel? I can tell you that I feel hurt, angry, mad, sad...but hopeful and headstrong despite it all. I hope that people can remember a time when they were in desperate need of a second chance, and realize that's where I am standing now. Try. Just try and understand. ----Edit---- Add Liz, Rob, and Sarah to that list! |
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jennapie | 02-19-05 9:14pm Amy, I love you. That was wonderful and it needed to be said. It's too bad the people who really need to hear it most likely don't read woohu, I think you should tell them to their faces, we both know who I'm talking about. I am so glad that we went to Springhill together and had that chance to renew what was lost so long ago. I never really gave the rumor much thought, and I'm so glad that it isn't true, nobody deserves that. I'm sorry that I never actually had the guts to ask you about it. That stuff just seems kinda private, ya know? And after everything else I didn't want to put a shadow over our new friendshp. I've been praying for all of the people who can't accept others for who they are, hoping that someday, they'll see the bigger picture and realize how many great people they are missing out on knowing, or have already missed out on, they're going to regret it BIG time! Anyway, I feel really bad that you had to post this entry in the frst place but I'm sure glad that you did, so everyone is set straight and this rumor can stop. Afterall, A RUMOR IS JUST A RUMOR! I thought EVERYONE knew that! I love you Amy dear!! Keep your sweet self exactly the same, because the people who do know you, accept you and love you the exact way that you are. |
just_peachie | Re:, 02-20-05 12:48pm Jenna doll, I love you too! SpringHill definietly was good for us; for our friendship and for us as Christians. It opened a whole lot of new doors for me, and I'm forever greatful for the opportunity to be able to grow.
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sugarmouse0587 | 02-20-05 1:03am amy m! you know it's not you right?
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just_peachie | Re:, 02-20-05 12:32pm It definietly is petty and lame. I didn't want to post this entry, but it had to be done. It's pretty sad when it comes down to this. The worst part? Some dumb ass decided to spread the rumor to my best friend's mom, and now I can't even feel comfortable being within 20 feet of her. Justin stuck up for me, but still. And all because people can't grow up and keep their shallow, ignorant selves out of other peoples lives.
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cherylee | Hey..., 02-20-05 2:02pm It's the craziest thing... here I am randomizing into journals and your title cought my eye. I read your post and wondered who it was. I checked the profile to find it being Amy Mercer.
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liz | 02-20-05 8:13pm well i can honestly say that at one point i disliked you, not for anything you did but because of you, that you were pretty and popular, and everyone liked you, i got to know you and your one of the awesomest people i know and now im just glad to say that im your friend. I never heard any rumours, but if i do i will be kicking some ass, no one deserves that especially not a great girl like you, im glad that you can stand up for yourself and tell people what its about, to quote a good man."ILL KILL 'EM" |
cowsgomoo!!! | 02-20-05 10:24pm you are awesome. i dont really KNOW you, but i really want to. spring hill helped. your right, people change, i'm a decent example of that, and your past is usualy what people base their opinions on. its not right, but it's life. it sucks. you just have to work that much harder to get them to realize you changed for the better, because i know you did.
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joslyn_julia | 02-20-05 11:32pm i don't know about half of what i read but i have always thought you were nice and if you are nice then i don't care what anyone says about you. |