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rayray (profile) wrote,
on 10-18-2005 at 8:39am
I cry. I call him crying. He comforts me. I get off the phone laughing. And later on that day call him again, crying. It's a cycle I can't break.

Thursday I leave for Ohio. Not sure what time yet. But I am for sure going. I'm excited. However I don't really want to drive all by my lonesome.

Time to go fill out some forms..
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allyson

10-18-05 1:33pm

stop calling him he is an asshole! Call me okay?!

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rayray

Re:, 10-18-05 3:09pm

would you stop calling the one person who can make you stop crying. The one person who comforts you? the one person that can actually make sense of all the shit I am going through. The one person who knows what I am going through.


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box

10-18-05 1:38pm

Why are you going to ohio?

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rayray

Re:, 10-18-05 3:11pm

To run away from all this shit.. I've thought about not coming back.

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pjlmaster

10-18-05 3:54pm

i went through that just a couple days, ago, trust me, it does get better

be strong

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rayray

Re:, 10-18-05 4:04pm

My crying over him is done. That has been done for a couple of weeks now.

This is worse. This is pent up anger, and new anger from a situation I've been in for the last 7 years. And it's only going to continue to worsen. One of these days it's going to come down to me having to forget I even have a mother, just to make the pain wither away.

I'm glad things are getting better for you. Break ups suck. Especially when it's with the one you love.

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spud

10-18-05 6:57pm

sometimes a cruise by your lonesome is exactly what the doctor ordered.

and then there are other times when that passenger seat feels pretty empty.

i'm not sure what kind of respite there is in ohio, but in my opinion, the beach is much prettier, and just a teensy bit closer.

one of these days i'm going on a sunset cruise. mhmm. sounds good.

it might sound cold of me, but at some point, i realized i had to stop letting my feelings control my life. not that i can control my life. but i can control how i respond to it. and i figured crying sucked. laughing was better.

baby steps. and it sounds like you're making them.

*smile*

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rayray

Re:, 10-18-05 9:48pm

I chose Ohio because thats where my sister is. And we are long over due for a good heart to heart talk.

baby steps. seems more like snail steps.. but its progress, eh?

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spud

Re: Re:, 10-18-05 11:03pm

yes ma'am.

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