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2005 1 October :: 11.56 pm
k i just have to write about my hideously LONG day....
today i got up at 8:30 got ready and went to the school. played with the pit all day long in band and then had the little competition on the field and then played cymbols in the parade and then walked back to the parade and watched with roman and then walked all the way back to the school ALONE ahhh and then realized i didn't have my keys so walked all the way to the back and then put my uniform away and then drove to Rosie's , changed and got put on the floor and got tables as soon as i walked back through that kitchen door!!
we were so busy. but at least roman and jess came to see me :0) . i started crying at one point because i was so stressed because we were so exteremely busy. I got a $35 tip. that beats my 20 dollars . that was from a 12 top. WOW . i was happy! and me and chelsy were the only servers tonight. just us two!! and we closed all by ourselves again. i like working with chelsy she's a sweetheart. and to finish the night i made $119 tonight yay!! in tips. not even counting the hourly which adds about 15 more. but wow my feet hurt. i've been standing the whole day. i didn't have a chance to get a drink or sit down or even bus a table the whole night until 9 at night. wow it was a long day.
i got my senior pics back and they are really cool . i have like 8126545612 million wallets . awesome.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 1 October :: 8.58 am
fuck you i hope you fall flat on your face and die. im done holding back bitch.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 30 September :: 4.08 pm
YOU MAKE ME SO MAD
but maybe i'm supposed to be worried instead. GREAT.
dg'alskdgjsd;lghjsd;lgjsd;lgj i'm so SICK OF THIS!
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 29 September :: 6.31 pm
i hate college. and i'm not even in it. hmm.
3 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 28 September :: 9.56 pm
i always worry it might be the last time i say love you baby.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 25 September :: 10.17 pm
I HATE BEING LEFT OUT AND BEING ALL ALONE HERE!!!
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 25 September :: 10.11 am
ugh i feel like shit. i thought i was done beign sick but i guess i was wrong.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 24 September :: 11.15 pm
i never realized how much i miss my old friends until tonight. oh myyyyy erika and danielle welcome back into my life you great girls you!
other than that... you drive me NUTS as usual
and as usual, I still love you like no other, you crazy cat. BLEH! and by cat i mean roman.
and. other than that... i just want to remember, gracelinsephiakennajalynANDICANT REMEMBER!
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 24 September :: 6.26 pm
errrbody's gonna be cryin. BLEH
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 23 September :: 10.57 pm
yeah so i'm an idiot, crap, a bitch, a liar a cheat a stealer what else am i ?
oh that's right "NOT TOP 10" oh i'm so sorry so sorry i can't be an allstar child
fuck you.
and fuck you too for caring so little and being so inconsiderate.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 22 September :: 10.30 pm
Here comes a big one....
i hate this situation me here and him there and him with all those friends and people and me here at home and going to stupid high school i hate it. but most of all how will i ever get there. my parents wont pay for my college even though they are loaded they have money coming out of their butts compared to most people and hey whatever it's there money. what will i do. i just want to cry and nothing really presents itself as a problem to you. we have no problems . no actually right now there is a problem there is one. i'm sick of school i ahte tha;sdlfkjasl;tjkasdl;gjasl;tjasel;jkasl; i hate it i hate that everyone is not miserable like me. i hate you all i hate that you are enjoying school and i'm hating it. i hate that i'm not getting a's on tests anymore. i hate that i am losing all money with stupid payments. i hate school lunches i hate subs and pizza and tacos and shit. i hate it all. you're everything you are my encouragement and my happiness and my all i just dont know if i can do it.
i hate being the uncool one and the dependent one and the sad one and the loner. i hate it all. i hate you and i hate that you are so stuck up and prissy and such a tremendous BITCH. when i have been so damn nice to you. I was so nice and you throw it in my face and be a huge bitch. The so-called "friends" you have are losers so don't get all hyped up on them. And leave my domain alone please. God I can't even get away from you there now? Don't walk in places you don't fucking belong. I wish I could kick you square in the face you fucking bitch.
I still haven't taken the ACT. Everyone has but me I swear. I'm going to do horribly that is if I even take it. No one knows what I mean. You probably don't even. Because it seems you never listen to it.
I listened to this sermon thing all the way home. I dont know. I just want to be involved again and feel like I used to. Being too busy is always the excuse. Too tired and too busy.
And on top of all this, I feel like a horrible, useless person.
i just want to go cry.
Do scholarships online ever really come through?
3 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 20 September :: 10.46 pm
what is good about me?
Desires/ Pleasures
autonomy
trustworthiness of others
loyalty
fidelity
to know the hidden motives of others
the appearance of righteousness
secrecy
privacy
a double life
vigilance
wariness
suspicion
adversaries, enemies, grudges
authority
superiority
self-sufficiency
independence
control
perfection
withdrawal
self-criticism
being special
isolation
Fears/ Distresses (anxiety)
being controlled
subordination
deviousness
deception
treachery
closeness
being covertly manipulated
interference of others
being put down
being discriminated against
secret coalitions formed by others
being undermined or depreciated by others
humiliation
being abused or being taken advantage of
being demeaned
authority/authority figures
those he or she sees as weak, soft, sickly or defective
inferiority
making mistakes
being different from others
obviously absofuckinglutely nothing.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 15 September :: 5.40 pm
ugggghghag;aslkgjasl;dkgjaskgj this place is dumb
i know where i want to be though
3 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 15 September :: 3.57 pm
Hello I am going to go take a long shower and shave my legs and dry my hair all pretty and I will look so pretty for Roman tomorrow. hooray hooray. Not seeing him as often makes me feel like I should look beautiful when I do. Yeah, time for a shower.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 13 September :: 9.37 pm
How i feel about my best friend Jess Hazen..
jessica.:How sweet it is to be loved by you! says:
boomo boom i love youuu
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
i love you too
jessica.:How sweet it is to be loved by you! says:
i love the way your ass goes badunkadunk
jessica.:How sweet it is to be loved by you! says:
haha
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
lol aww thanks jess, you're so sweet.
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
:0)
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
that should be a woohu post for sure.
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
but im too lazy to update, again
jessica.:How sweet it is to be loved by you! says:
lol i'll do it
1 ::..So what? |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 13 September :: 8.23 pm
i got my haircut like big time.
fun!
2 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 12 September :: 10.28 pm
Sorry girls... and Ty of course. I just promised myself I wouldn't deal with it anymore. I wrote a really long email and I won't let you have to deal with this again next year.
In other news, it is too late to start a fall class for college so I will start dual-enrolling in the winter.
In other other news, I have just found i have been shorted on tips every night i've worked except last night because of the computer. Yeah, we just realized this last night. Great huh?
and finally, you guys are such jerks. I can't believe all of you used to be my friends. You treated me so bad today and made me cry a lot. I realize more and more like every day how much better friends I have. And by that I mean Roman and Jess. Roman actually cared when I cried about it unlike you mean people I hope you feel really bad. Because that was low and mean. and Jess listened too. And then of course I have Jess G who I know would listen if I told her. Which I will, tomorrow. You guys made me feel so crappy when I actually WAS feeling okay about myself in the beginning.
I have a xanga now. jessabessbaby
4 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 12 September :: 3.41 pm
what a bad day. i can't believe that THAT is what i've become... or something.? mean asses. *cries a ton*
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 10 September :: 10.37 pm
you drive me absoulutely up the wall sometimes but i love you more than anything in the entire world baby. that'll never change no matter how crazy you make me. love you and happy anniversary!! :0)
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 10 September :: 1.49 pm
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT THE FUCK!?!!? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 8 September :: 3.33 pm
school is a waste of my time. i'm dual-enrolling.
hoooooorah hooray.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 6 September :: 3.37 pm
people are stupid i hate school i have a really bad headache and i never want to go back.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 2 September :: 12.45 pm
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2005 1 September :: 11.08 pm
oh my freaking gosh i never knew people could be so immature and rude and mean!!!
i never even knew! hey freaking news flash. roman is my boyfriend and we have been together almost 2 years now. sorry to take away your friend or whatever after i drive 40 minutes to come see him for the day. SORRY i am taking your time away from him.
gawd i dont want to be some bitch but guesswhat . you were first.
gawd why dont you fucking grow up . idiots!
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 31 August :: 5.01 pm
ever wanna take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while. to everyone else
not you but everyone else though.
i need to just escape for a while. i dont wanna die i just wanna get out of here.
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 30 August :: 7.00 pm
so yeah... this is my schedule..
1. band.
2. psych. harnden
3. brit lit. millard
4. gen. chem. Vree
5. ed. ex. at cedar trails
6. yearbook
7. seminar with busen
yes it's true allison. I am in yearbook again. :0/
i duno how i feel about that. but whatever.
i wish i was in college. i am ready to be D O N E. done.
6 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 30 August :: 6.29 pm
boom bitch.
i love my baby!
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 29 August :: 9.47 pm
so here's a little update on my stupid stupid stupid fucking life..
1. i'm pretty sure i have the flu or mono or something i feel like absolute shit, i am sick to my stomach all the time i want to puke, my head just aches and i just want to lay down and sleep
2. my boyfriend is having fun in college and i get to come to this stupid house and fucking eat cereal because there is nothing here and i just want to die and i hate this i hate this i hate this
3. i have no friends
4. thats my fault
5. but it still upsets me
6. my old friends don't exist anymore
7. i kinda want to
aaaaaaaaaaa i'm really sad and i think i'm going to go cry a lot. gawd this is so stupid. have fun . god.
7 ::..So what?..:: |
::Yessa..:: |
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2005 29 August :: 9.42 pm
please
kill me
::Yessa..:: |
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