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:: 2011 5 May :: 5.09pm

I'm working out everyday. I'm going to kill myself skinny.

I'm so tired of meeting douchebags who act like they want to be your friend, lead you on and then just stop all communication and then.. After the secretly decide they don't want to be involved with you in any form you call them out and they act like they're in the right. They are selfish disgusting fuckheads who deserve to be eliminated from the human race. It's called common courtesy people. I would think that moms taught it to their children but apparently that went of of practice in the 80's and on.

I'm tired of this place. And these people. The only people who like Spokane seem to be the fuckheads who thinks it's ok to flake. To be a hypocrite. To treat other people like shit. It's disgusting and disheartening.

:: 2011 2 May :: 7.31pm

I asked myself if today could get any worse.

Yes it could.

But it's still pretty shitty.

:: 2011 30 April :: 12.58am

Tonight was fun :)

And having rent is a good feeling.

I'm working OT this week. being extra responsible!

:: 2011 25 April :: 1.40pm

Lab tests and weight gain.

I'm scared. And have no comfort.

I know what a partial reason for it is. But there could be so many other things wrong. Things that idk can be fixed.

What's for sure is I need to get serious about losing this weight. I need to do something. Why can't I just get motivated?

I hate living here. I hate feeling so out of control. I feel disempowered. I feel weak. I feel hopeless. I need help, but can't afford it.

:: 2011 21 April :: 7.43pm

Home of an IUD. no babies, periods or hormones for me!

It hurts but I can deal.

:: 2011 12 April :: 1.39am

Happy birthday to me!!

:: 2011 10 April :: 8.56pm

April fools about the baby.
I actually am considering getting my tubes tied since the age to do it is 23 now from what I hear..

:: 2011 9 April :: 7.13am

New metal DDR pad :) lotsa booze breasts and fine friends. Over all a very epic birthday :D

:: 2011 8 April :: 3.02am

Birthday party tomorrow. Maybe the baby won't like the alcohol and leave. Maybe I can still have a good birthday. I hate people.

:: 2011 7 April :: 11.55am

There's a hole in my heart.

:: 2011 5 April :: 6.29pm

I hate my life.

:: 2011 3 April :: 4.59am

This will be the death of us

:: 2011 1 April :: 3.54pm

Well it's official.. I'm going to be having a little bun growing in my oven... I honestly don't know what to think. Or do. I feel so confused. :(

:: 2011 31 March :: 5.45pm

I feel used. Taken advantage of. Pissed.

:: 2011 26 March :: 8.07pm
:: Music: Amazing Grace

The moment you can finally love yourself, you are truly free.

:: 2011 26 March :: 12.50pm

Last night I dreamt I had a little crab and didn't die.

:: 2011 23 March :: 9.52pm

I'm so tired of feeling.

:: 2011 19 March :: 10.27pm

I miss the muppet show haha

:: 2011 18 March :: 2.50pm

Last night was a blast!
I'm super sleepy but drunken debauchery is so worth it!
The kitchen is a mess. And the puppy.. Fucking cute as ever!

I think as long as I just stop thinking about where I am the next year won't be so bad. It's hard to think of leaving this job too.. It's just so good. In so many ways.

:: 2011 17 March :: 12.02pm

I got accepted to Iowa State University's College of Design, I am so unbelievably stoked right now.

:: 2011 17 March :: 4.29am

I wish I had a best friend.

:: 2011 14 March :: 10.05pm

Got a bitching raise and bonus! Got a cute little puppy! Got a handsome boyfriend and I got a good job!

Things are looking good.

:: 2011 12 March :: 12.28pm

This was a bitching weekend.

Honestly I forgot my pills two days and it still rocked :)

:D

:: 2011 7 March :: 4.56pm

I'm so angry I could cry

:: 2011 5 March :: 9.11pm

Life is a big circle. A big repeating let down. All disappointments. All crushing disappointments.

Its hard to stay positive with all the sadness in the air. It feels like its trying to suffocate me.

Puppy comes home in 5 days. I'm really going to committ to this. No more getting angry and giving up. I need to prove I can do this. Mostly for myself. I want this.

:: 2011 5 March :: 2.56pm

I love cell phones
I love being employed
I love tattoos

:: 2011 3 March :: 9.30pm

Mmmmmm home baked cookies :3

:: 2011 2 March :: 12.39pm

I love brownies!
I love knee-high socks!
I love baking bread!

:: 2011 28 February :: 12.17pm

I love computers
I love puppies
I love makeup

:: 2011 27 February :: 6.39pm

I need to start thinking positively.

I love puppies!
I love cantaloupe!
I love listening to music!

That's a good start.

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