godessalthena
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2007 5 July :: 9.57am
i had a bad dream last night.
brooke, lauren, theo, julius, zuzu, kirk and allan were all in it.
and it was very, very sad for me.
i don't like the dreams i have here very often.
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aerii
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2007 3 July :: 10.36am
this is the story of the boys who loved you
who love you now and loved you then
and some were sweet, some were cold and snuffed you
and some just laid around in bed
some had crumbled you straight to your knees
did it cruel, did it tenderly
some had crawled their way into your heart
to rend your ventricles apart
this is the story of the boys who loved you
this is the story of your red right ankle.
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aerii
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2007 3 July :: 9.45am
cliff jumping
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poisonedheart
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2007 30 June :: 1.48pm
I made my first youtube video =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1SeyA7xJn8
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godessalthena
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2007 28 June :: 10.08am
i'm going to get twenty sketches done today. at least, that's my goal.
i ate breakfast with my parents yesterday. it was nice. it was a good break from this. I'm glad they came. it was really nice.
i think adam is comig today. at least i hope so since this is the thursday i have off.
i don't really know what to say...
i just want to have a friend here to hang out with.
and to explore with.
and just have fun with...
i mean, i have fun with kirk, but he's always busy or tired.
i want a friend who has a ton of time to spend.
and who wants to go out.
even if we don't spend any money.
hmm... i better start.
1 = |
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godessalthena
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2007 22 June :: 9.40am
last night i killed a man.
i didn't mean to...
i battered him to death with a shopping cart.
we were highway men, but we used bicycles.
and there were man-eating ostriches.
they came to eat the guy i killed.
who i think was the govener of that place.
then, we escaped down into these cellars.
where this old man distilled pringles.
the old lady i was with tried to kill the old man, but...
he killed her first.
then we all ate pringles.
2 = |
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godessalthena
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::
2007 17 June :: 8.57am
:: Mood: annoyed
fuck this shit.
2 = |
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poisonedheart
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2007 13 June :: 11.02pm
Gray light, new day leaks through the window
An old soul song comes on the alarm clock radio
We walk the forty blocks to the middle
Of the place we heard that everything would be
And there were barricades to keep us off the street
But the crowd kept pushing forward
Till they swallowed the police
Ya they went wild
We left before the dust had time to settle
Now all the broken glass swept off the avenue
And on the way home held your camera like a bible
Just wishing so bad that it held some kind of truth
And I stood nervous next to you in the dark room
You dropped the paper in the water
And it all begins to bloom
Ya they go wild
And just when I get so lonesome I cant speak
I see some flowers on the hillside
Like a wall of new TVs
Ya they go wild
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aerii
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::
2007 10 June :: 9.32pm
i miss you so much that it hurts my head.
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poisonedheart
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2007 9 June :: 10.03pm
http://media.putfile.com/Landlocked-Blues-91
Don't make too much fun of it, it was my first time singing the song.
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aerii
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2007 8 June :: 10.44pm
:: Mood: sore
I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No,no,no.
I'm so tired I don't know what to do
I'm so tired my mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you but I know what you'd do
You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
for a little peace of mind
I'm so tired, I'm feeling so upset
Although I'm so tired I'll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walter Raleigh
He was such a stupid get
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poisonedheart
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::
2007 6 June :: 10.50pm
Gray light, new day leaks through the window
An old soul song comes on the alarm clock radio
We walk the forty blocks to the middle
Of the place we heard that everything would be
And there were barricades to keep us off the street
But the crowd kept pushing forward
Till they swallowed the police
Ya they went wild
We left before the dust had time to settle
Now all the broken glass swept off the avenue
And on the way home held your camera like a bible
Just wishing so bad that it held some kind of truth
And I stood nervous next to you in the dark room
You dropped the paper in the water
And it all begins to bloom
Ya they go wild
And just when I get so lonesome I cant speak
I see some flowers on the hillside
Like a wall of new TVs
Ya they go wild
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aerii
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::
2007 5 June :: 10.05am
"For I think it is Love,
For I feel it is Love,
For I'm sure it is nothing but Love!"
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aerii
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2007 3 June :: 10.17pm
right now
i really want some oreos and peanut butter.
and loren.
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poisonedheart
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::
2007 2 June :: 8.51pm
I got a second 19" monitor.
http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/5541/awesomefb3.jpg
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poisonedheart
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::
2007 28 May :: 10.21pm
♥ ♥
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godessalthena
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::
2007 25 May :: 8.32am
ahh... i missed the opera car.
i think i'll miss him the most out of all the sounds here.
<3
he's my hero.
2 = |
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aerii
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::
2007 19 May :: 11.42pm
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Take me back to the start
1 = |
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poisonedheart
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::
2007 16 May :: 6.20pm
The sun came up with no conclusion
Flowers sleeping in their beds
This city's cemetery's humming
I'm wide-awake, it's morning
I have my drugs, I have my woman
They keep away my loneliness
My parents have they have their religion
But sleep in separate houses
I read the body count out of the paper
And now it's written all over my face
No one ever plans to sleep out in the gutter
Sometimes that's just the most comfortable place
So I'm drinking, breathing, writing, singing
Everyday I'm on the clock
My mind races with all my longings
But cant keep up with what I got
I hope I don't sound too ungrateful
What history gave modern man
A telephone to talk to strangers
Machine guns and a camera lens
So when you're asked to fight a war that's over nothing
It's best to join the side that's gonna win
And no one's sure how all of this got started
But we're gonna make them goddam certain how its gonna end
Oh ya we will, oh ya we will!
Well I could have been a famous singer
If I had someone else's voice
But failure's always sounded better
Lets fuck it up boys, make some noise!
The sun came up with no conclusion
Flowers sleeping in their beds
This city's cemetery's humming
I'm wide-awake, it's morning
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godessalthena
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::
2007 15 May :: 6.37pm
it's amazing how a little house cleaning can make you feel better.
my shoulders have never felt so light.
ahh... the release of the burden of a terrible friendship.
all those wasted years have been suddenly released from my ankles...
<3
1 = |
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poisonedheart
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::
2007 14 May :: 9.01pm
Sometimes a life of alcoholism and drug abuse just looks so much more glamorous.
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poisonedheart
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2007 9 May :: 8.55pm
So there was this woman and she was on an airplane, and she was flying to meet her fiance seaming high above the largest ocean on planet earth. She was seated next to this man she had tried to start conversations, but the only thing she had really heard him say was to order his Bloody Mary. She was sitting there and she was reading this really arduous magazine article about a third world country that she couldn't even pronounce the name of. And she was feeling very bored and despondent. And then suddenly there was this huge mechanical failure and one of the engines gave out, and they started just falling thirty-thousand feet, and the pilots on the microphone and he's saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh my god... I'm sorry" and apologizing. And she looks at the man and says "Where are we going?" and he looks at her and he says "We're going to a party. It's a birthday party. It's your birthday party. Happy birthday darling. We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much." And then he starts humming this little tune, it kind of goes like this: 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4
We must talk in every telephone
Get eaten off the web
We must rip out all the epilogues in the books that we have read
And in the face of every criminal
Strapped firmly to a chair
We must stare, we must stare, we must stare
We must take all of the medicines too expensive now to sell
Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell
And in the ear of every anarchist that sleeps but doesn't dream
We must sing, we must sing, we must sing
It'll go like this:
While my mother waters plants
My father loads his guns
He says death will give us back to God
Just like this setting sun is returned to this lonesome ocean
And then they splashed into the deep blue sea
It was a wonderful splash
We must blend into the choir
Sing as static with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul
And in this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run
We must hang up in the belfry
Where the bats and moonlight laugh
We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past
And in the caverns of tomorrow
With just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge
And then we'll get down there, way down to the very bottom of everything
And then we'll see it, oh we'll see it, we'll see it, we'll see it
Oh my morning's coming back
The whole world's waking up
All the city buses swimming past
I'm happy just because
I found out I am really no one
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godessalthena
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::
2007 8 May :: 7.39am
since when did friendship get so complicated...?
my tummy hurts. it hurt last night too.
i wish i could just make... i don't know.
sometimes i wish i didn't have friends.
and sometimes i wish i had more.
sigh.
4 = |
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poisonedheart
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2007 6 May :: 8.17am
Well, I finally figured out a realistic future for myself that I would enjoy.
Go to college, major in Japanese, go teach English in Japan for the rest of my life.
If I decided to come back to America, I could easily come teach Japanese =)
If nothing else I'd be a lot happier in a country of 130mil where only 1.4mil are christians.
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godessalthena
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::
2007 5 May :: 8.10pm
"you hurt me. worse than anyone has ever hurt me. for that i hate you. i can't stand that you exist."
it's amazing how much yourlife can change.
what's more amazing is how when you truly love someone... you never ever could hate them forever.
i remember when reading that used to make me sick... now it makes me laugh.
i really miss how it was before.
i really hate how i had just became a bitch to everyone... even those who always stood by me.
i think that was important, though... for me to grow up.
i'm glad that it's over.
it's almost been like... two years since that whole mess...
ugh, i miss having real friends who i get to see everyday.
:( it's lonely here sometimes
3 = |
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poisonedheart
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::
2007 3 May :: 8.41pm
If you wonder why I always post song lyrics, it's because I lack the poetic ability to describe my own feelings properly.
i spent a week drinking the sunlight of winnetka, california
where they understand the weight of human hearts
you see sorrow gets too heavy and joy it tends to hold you
with the fear that it eventually departs.
and the truth is i've been dreaming of some tired, tranquil place
where the weather won't get trapped inside my bones
and if all the years of searching find one sympathetic face
then its there i will plant these seeds and make my home
i spent a day dreaming of dying in mesa, arizona
where all the green of life had turned to ash
and i felt i was on fire, with the things i could have told you
i just assumed that you eventually would ask
and i wouldn't have to bring up my so badly broken heart
and all those months i just wanted to sleep
and though spring, it did come slowly, i guess it did its part
my heart has thawed and continues to beat
i visited my brother on the outskirts of olympia
where the forest and the water become one
and we talked about our childhood, like a dream we were convinced of, that
perfect peaceful street where we came from
and i know he heard me strumming all those sad and simple chords
as i sat inside my room so long ago
and it hurts that he's still shaking from those secrets that were told by a
car closed up too tight and a heart turned cold
and i went to san diego
the birthplace of the summer
and watched the ocean dance under the moon
and there was a girl i knew there, one more potential lover
i guess that something's got to happen soon
because i know i can't keep living in this dead or dying dream
and as i walked along the beach and drank with her
i thought about my true love, the one i really need
with eyes that burn so bright, they make me pure
they make me pure
they make me pure
i long to be with you
they make me pure
they make me pure
i long to be with you
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aerii
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::
2007 1 May :: 10.17am
my cheeks?
seriously?
AHAHAHA
<3
1 = |
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godessalthena
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::
2007 1 May :: 8.36am
i'm going to try to stick to it this time.
because i am not a failure.
and i need to be patient.
i need to do a lot of thinking in this next year.
i think a lot. but never about the right things.
but i'm going to change that.
i miss how it used to be.
when i had friends.
and the drama was never like this.
but...
somehow this drama doesn't feel as bad.
probably because i don't really feel like it has anything to do with me.
whatev.
this place sucks.
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aerii
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::
2007 28 April :: 5.48pm
:: Mood: i feel like an asshole
someone should give me an amazing book to read.
and a really good hug.
and idk.
some nat king cole
or dean martin
or frank sinatra
albums.
idk.
i want to mellow out.
1 = |
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