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:: 2004 20 February :: 3.07pm

february 20, 1967
kurt cobain would have been 37 today. i hope you're doing alright, buddy.

3 comments | Talk to Me

:: 2004 18 February :: 10.32am
:: Mood: yiyiyi! it's got its ups n downs...
:: Music: naruto second opening - the far far side

*japanese singing*
EMAC FUCKIN ROCKS! ok now that that's out of the way, i played the insane secretary! it was so cool, cuz when we were writting the script for the cinderella scene of the production, i wrote the secretary lik totally wrote her into me! and i got her! YES! i had to memorize my lines in a day, it was hard, but i rocked it harder ;) so yea, my dad went to see the performance, and it was SO NERVE WRECKING cuz he's never seen me act like EVER, and after the performance, i sat next to him, after i had been congratulated by ALL his sisters nad my stepmom, AND my dad's little brother's wife, who said that she was surprised students could throw together such an outstanding performance, and he was smiling. like genuinely smiling. i haven't seen one of those smiles in AGES, it made me whole fuckin month, and i felt like everything i had been working for was so totally worth it because of that one smile. i was soooo happy. he naturally didn't say much but that smile alone was enough.

since then, i've been mostly just catching up with schoolwork i missed. we had the auditions for steal magnolias yesterday, and i was totally nervous. i didn't get shelby, i'm ouiser. it's ok, she's a kick ass character. i'm gonna love playing her. just a little disapointed. well, yea... and then...*sniffle*

i don't know what else. i finished my computers project! like all of it! woohu i'm so fuckin proud of me! i perfectly forged three pages from a random magazine. the cover, an article, and an ad. i am the queen of the universe!

wait more EMAC stuff! shaimah sent me a bagfull of things. it had in it 2 wonka bars, 2 jolly ranchers, a stuffed dog with a heart in his mouth that says "i woof you" and a letter! attatched to the letter was her picture and i couldn't help crying a little bit when i saw it. she's so beautiful. i miss her like crazy... well guess who delivered the bag to me by hand? HOT GUY WHO HAS OFFICE AID A BLOCK! woohu! anyhow, we went to sha3ab park on friday, it was the fuckin shyt. had the time of my life. i bought these dog tags and had TOTO 15-01-88 inscribed on it. aida and tags got ones too. it was yayed out! we got on the disco thing and played rania's system of a down cd to the speakers, it was the BEST! instead of sitting on the chairs n trying to hang on, we all sat in the middle and started rolling all over one another. we'd get up when it stopped, head bang a little bit, then they'd start the ride again because they enjoyed us so much hahaha. not really. we got raped on that thing and it was so much fun! FREDUBINE BUNJEE JUMPED! GO CONCUBINE! we went on the roller coaster ride with hussa she's so cool. sha3ab was seriously perfect.

the next day, we went to marina mall in the morning. it was fun, i hung out with "homegirl" aka "rosy" aka the guy that had to play cinderella's valley girl step sister, he's real cool. it kicked ass. he plaed her BEAUTIFULLY, and he bought like 19 cd's from virgin, like seirously AMAZING cds. and i convinced his girlfriend to buy deftones! woohu i'm so proud! welll at around the end of the trip, while we were going down the escalators to go to the buses, we realize there\s a big fuss down there, and we go down and i hear EVERYONE go "awwww" in like perfect unision and harmony. then i saw andy and naser hug and i found out from someone that he gave her a rose! it was so cute! well i wasn't even done gushing over it when blag came from behind me, tapped me on the shoulder n went "ToTo?" and i turn around and he got me a rose! i couldn't believe it! it was way cute and past scary. so we got on the bus together n he just held me cloes the whole busride back to school. it was real nice. when we got to school we really didn't get much chance to hook up before the performance. that was that. i pressed the rose in my scrapbook, with shaimah's letter. this weekend, this past weekend, i wouldn't change for the world. it was perfect. i loved it. i'm ready to die now.

:: 2004 17 February :: 10.15pm

ex adverso litterate
if you have legs, why use the elevator?

5 comments | Talk to Me

:: 2004 16 February :: 12.58pm

do not attempt to grow anything that even slightly resembles a heart, for you will be weak - and we wouldn't want that.

:: 2004 15 February :: 4.32am

ode to a dead joy
crucially, i held you endlessly
my unintended was a murderess
fruitlessly, i lied for you and me
the devil came in a flowered dress
lifelessly, ragged limply
she died below the best
wisely, she learned tirelessly
to carry the burdens of the rest
entirely, she cried spinelessly
over things she cannot change
sadly, all smilessly
no one thought of her as strange
fruitlessly, i held you endlessly
my unintended was a murderess
crucially, i lay lifelessly
to greet the devil in the flowered dress

:: 2004 15 February :: 4.21am
:: Music: under your mom (aka little mermaid - under the sea)

GOLDFISH'S MOM
the goldfish is always uglier
in somebody else's mom
you dream about going up there
but you can't cuz she can't come
just go take a piss around her
and mark your territory
cuz when no one is around her
the goldfish get's really horny
UNDER YOUR MOM! under your mom!
darling it's better
down where it's wetter
take it from her!
what has she got a lot of kids?
who knew you'd fuck just cuz you kissed?
don't blow your cover
please use a rubber
under your mom!

:: 2004 13 February :: 12.43am

< growl >
you know what, miss ver-sexy?? miss i-love-logic-and-i-hate-hearts! i only have one thing to say to you! try listening for once!

:: 2004 12 February :: 2.33pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: from autumn to ashes - short stories with tragic endings

tubular
i started the morning TOTALLY WHOAed out. i woke up at 7 to shower, thinking i could get to school by 8. but you know what? my mother WOKE UP at 8. ugh. i got to school like NINE. whatever. point being, we had our little assembly thinger and right in the middle of mr. mCLEAN'S speech, fredubine calls! now this is ok with any other fone, but my ringing tone is UNDER THE SEA! it was hilariously embarassing! hahaha and THEN, we separated out and the drama students went to the multi-purpose rooms. it was all good n well, we had these freaky assed excersizes and all that jazz. yea yea yea, yadda yadda yadda, let's get into the good stuff.

so we're sitting there, PERFORMING. we did the exerpt from kindergarten, cinderella, and it was fuckin beautiful. we finished writting the UNDER YOUR MOM song which i'll post after this. so let's get into the REALLY good stuff.

actually, lemme make this a restricted. don't ask for details you don't wanna hear about. seriously, think carefully before you ask because i got some. not just ANY "some", it was- wow- i'm so wowed out, like it was- woooow- i mean -duuuuude- andy i owe you big. like REALLY big. wow. i'm not gonna be over this for ages. i can't stop smiling like a fool. conway saw us walking back from the multipurpose rooms and she was all "fudjer, don't go into dark places with people; don't go off in the dark with GUY people." and blag goes all "yea i'm a rapist" and she's all "that's not what i meant and you know it" she looked really pissed but i didn't argue with her, i jsut smiled and said "yes ma'am" and she smield back n winked at me. haha funny. and then.... wow....

2 comments | Talk to Me

:: 2004 11 February :: 9.13am

You are Shetland Wool.
You are a traditional sort who can sometimes be a
little on the harsh side. Though you look
delicate you are tough as nails and prone to
intricacies. Despite your acerbic ways you are
widely respected and even revered.

What kind of yarn are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 2004 11 February :: 8.25am
:: Mood: nervous
:: Music: naruto - 2nd opening

i (heart) uchiha sasuke-kun (AKA the topless boy in my background)
ok and then i got to school nice n early. don't remember most of the morning, but i remember AC was there. hmm... wonder why i forget so easy... yeah and then i had history first period n i got a hershey cuz i had a 10/10 on my quiz! woohu! well we had drama next and were at the auditorium and did sleeping beauty AGAIN. i had my part perfect so yay (the director said so so HA). then, i cried. i just sat there backstage, talking to fredubine about how i've lost everyone i've cared about, faisal particularly, and cried. naturally, as my luck would have it, conway chose that moment to call me downstage n ask me about the photography of the fine arts festival. and guess who i was sent with to fetch the camera? faisal. ugh i wanted to die. we did half of cinderella afterwards and i managed to pull myself together beautifully. i played my happy role, recited my lines and honed my character to perfection. then the play was over, i dropped the act, and i was in a gloom for the rest of third period. and then, it happened...

last thirty minutes of class we get free time and teodore, eternal flirt, chose to go through my wallet. in exchange, he let me go through his wallet. well as i was going through it, i found a CONDOM in on of the side pockets. i put it up n go "wtf?" he goes red n snatches it. then we get into a discussion, with moonsuk, about sex, one night stands, fuck buddies, girlfriends and birthcontrol. it was hilarious, no like HILARIOUS. comparing the efficiency of male condoms versus female condoms, diaphrams and the pill. pulling out, that kinda thing. at around that time tammam decides to pass out. seriously. i moved his circulation, encouraged oxygen and blood passage to his head, and gave him natural massage therapy. he enjoyed it so much, according to moonsuk his face looked like he was orgasming. we laughed, then teodore asked me to give him one too. well as i was giving him a massage (i said i should have been getting paid for it) dzaner decides to come up from behind and give ME a massage. oh. my. God. no really, oh. my. God. i literally burst out laughing at how good it felt. teodore then got pissed n went all "focus! focus!" i pushed him n told him to shut up, so he goes "work on my body!" we started cracking up! then tammam gave me a massage, and i don't know who gave who a massage, and it was like one big massage thing. so much fun. i walked out with teodore, talking about who knows what. then stit stopped me and took me aside because he saw my right side where i was wearing two earrings to get me into trouble. then i point at my left earringless ear and smirk. "one pair of earrings, the handbook said nothing about which ear it went on" i win! hahaha! BA3SA!

let's see, the remainder of the day, AC got pissed, yelling, arabic class, english class we watched an episode of oprah winfrey... yeah.

so that's it. and then...

:: 2004 10 February :: 12.30pm
:: Mood: jubilant
:: Music: metallica - unnamed feeling

been here before couldn't say i liked it, do i start writting all this down?
today started out horribly. i woke up and the first thing i realize is "my hand hurts" and i open my fist and i'd been holding that little "I LOVE YOU" stone all night. naturally, as soon as i fuckin see it i start crying. i miss him so bad sometimes. it took me a good fifteen minutes to stop, and then i forgot to wake my mom up and went to the bathroom myself. by the time i woke her up it was 7 and i just knew we were gonna be late for school. i had the worst headache, and i was jsut ready to drop wherever i happened to be standing and cry my eyes out. but things got better. as i was walking to my locker, i saw barney and she stops me to scream "LYSEE'S HERE!" so i rushed to my locker and we rushed to the auditorium together, but not before out of the corner of my eye i saw AC and B walking together, like TOGETHER together. in my haste, i failed to stop and inquire, but i'll get back to that later. so yea, i go to the auditorium and ANDY CAME! I HEART YOU ANDY! IT'S ABOUT FUCKIN TIME! i hugged her until she couldn't baethe and we laugehd for no reason and talked and caught up and things. well first period, math, was just math. we had a fun lesson though, i loved the proofs of the sum and difference trigonometric functions. i loved the derivations of the formulas. even teodore was all "wtf? i don't get it.." and i was all "yay i see!" felt smart. good self esteem.

second period, english, let's just suffice to say SOMEONE IN MY GROUP EVALUATED ME DOWN so that my grade was an 82% while the group grade was an 89%. i didn't say anything about it, even though i know perfectly who it is.

well, arabic class, i talked to AC about variousity, and she managed to remain rather calm throughout the class. we discussed what went down with beladi, who apparently misunderstands things more than i thought was possible, but that's over now, and then i let her read some of my latest work, READERS, WRITERS AND THE AUDIENCE UNDER GRAVITY. she said she liked it, it was different from what i usually did. *half-assed happy dance*

lunch was yippeed, i clung tenaciously to andy and attacked her at various moments. FREDUBINE IS PT! congratulations fredubine! gave blag his birthday present and he liked it and i'm pleased with myself.

onwards, i had physics, and i asked young about the lab due on saturday i was all "i have emac fine arts, i'm not gonna be here" and he goes "why don't you learn to manage your time? you're in high school and in IB" i wanted to KILL HIM. so basically i have to hand it in anyway and i should be working on it now but i don't wanna. so we did a self-study the rest of the class in silence. i got mufida to let me do something with her hair, and she has BEAUTIFUL hair mashalla *knocks on wood*. i pulled her hair back loosely, then dropped some strands on her face and took off her glasses. she looked GORGEOUS, she has the most beautiful smile. i'm so jealous :(

i had computers last period and i finished my cover page which i'm VERY VERY proud of. then drama rehearsals. I STRADDLED FREDUBINE! haha we practiced waltzing barefoot and fredubine got her character down PERFECTLY. i was all teary eyed n proud. YOU ROCK MY WORLD FREDUBINE. well afterschool i FINALLY caught mr. mclean. and i pitched my idea to him about a creative writting course, and he LOVED it, he was all "you just made my day" and he took my name and said he would speak to both my english teacher and the head of english department. i'm so proud! i'm making a difference! he asked me what kind of writting i did. i told him EVERYTHING and it wasn't a lie. i can write social, fiction, biographical, persuasive, instructional and poetry. *kisses her own ass*

well i got home and my bther's been in a bitchy mood all fuckin day which is seriously pissing me off. you'd think he was the one with PMS. pshhh. well anyhow, i told him i needed internet to do homework cuz i needed to download my physics lab outline. every two seconds he'd walk into my room and go "are you really doing homework?" i wanted to knock him out. damn!

and here i am now. recollecting. yay. and then...

:: 2004 8 February :: 12.28am

they who were not there
if it's only there to be misspoken
hearts are lost and lives are broken
learn the language of my world
to take home a word of token

dig a hole in this misery
lay me down and bury me
then walk away from my shore and its waves
my misery doesn't like company

don't cry for help when must you drown
the time has come you must go down
don't wait for hope to dessert you
when you are gone your dignity's your crown

someday their trust will cause you hurt
don't give them room to reassert
the faithlessness of humanity
when they will someday dessert

don't await a lying savior
bare your teeth, produce your raviar
waiting for a hope not there
is setting yourself up for failure

4 comments | Talk to Me

:: 2004 7 February :: 12.22pm
:: Mood: PISSED AS FUCK
:: Music: orgy - slept so long

AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!
hermen told beladi about me n blag! he had n ofuckin right! i'm so fuckin MAD! I'M SO FUCKIN MAD! i cannot remember being so mad in months! i beat the crap out of the wall and nothing happened to it which just made me madder and i fucked my hand up and that makes me even MADDER and i'm just so fuckin pissed i mean WHAT THE FUCK?! BY WHAT RIGHT IS HE TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT ME AND BLAG? IN CASUAL CONVERSATION?! it was like "oh we're talking about relationships, you heard blag n fajer made out backstage?" wtf?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! i have a fuckin reputation to uphold and he has no right to go shamble that shyt cuz he can't keep quiet on what doens't concern him! I'M SO MAD! i wanna kill him i wanna kill him i swear! shyt i'm so mad i can't even scream!

whoa, i'm so tired. i feel like i'm getting older. i'm so tired. i'm so mad and so tired, and the combination's going to kill me.

:: 2004 7 February :: 12.17am

inspiration
from mary star of the sea

:: 2004 6 February :: 1.36pm
:: Music: train - mississippi

she's the one that makes me fall... midnight moon shines through it all...
thank you barney for this cd, i (heart) it so much n so did scottie!

i spent the day at my dad's house. it was not bad, i missed my daddy truth be told. it felt comfortable all of us hanging out again. that plus i was having a super hairday and i felt great. the kids.... ugh. i remembered as soon as i got there i had forgotten HONEY. i walked around the garage a lot. i didn't do much work, just cleaned the buggy a bit, scraped the skeleton of the GMC, checked the hood of the caddy. needs an oil change. whatever.

i missed roaming the garage, the smell of cars is still heavenly, and the gasoline feels comfortably familiar on my fingers. i actually just dipped my hand in the fuel tank, just to get that feeling back. sad? oh well, at least i'm happy.

football season's over, basketball starts up. game between philly n miami, wanna check the score on that *prays for philly* and i'm still pissed as fuck that NEW ENGLAND FUCKIN NEW ENGLAND won the superbowl. ugh! as if! and then, i don't feel like school tomorrow! ahhhhhh! i wanna sleep late! and wake up late! *whimpers n whines alternatively*

and THEN, i better get some rest. maybe i can induce/entice myself into slumber.

:: 2004 5 February :: 3.55pm
:: Mood: so very... THERE
:: Music: jack off jill - poor impulse control

one bullet in this gun, don't know if it's for you or me...
bored.. bored... and THEN still bored. morrow i go to father's house. the day after i go school. then ANDY COMES HOME! WOOHU! MISS YOU ANDY! (heart)

summer called this morning and woke me up. i was angry at first, but then we ended up talking for literally hours. (seriously, i checked the fone clock) she's so great! so funny and honest. we talked about lots of things, funny things, and laughed at not-so-funny things. it was great.

i spent the remainder of the day roaming about the home. my family quarrelled. i went to my room and danced. i've been packing on plenty of weight, so i cut back a bit on my calory intake. i also started doing sit-ups again, and working out variously while dancing ofcourse. fun.

i'm still bored. i go. and then

:: 2004 5 February :: 1.53pm

DesireDarkness
Darkness. You Truly Desire Darkness. You wish
everyone around you was either dead, or
worshipping you. To you, life is not a gift,
but a punishment. You have no consideration for
others and do as you please.

PLEASE RATE

What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 2004 4 February :: 11.24am

family values
Momma raised me and raised me well
Said, �Say what I say and do what I do,�
But all along she was telling me,
�To yourself, you gotta be true.�
A girl is supposed to be a woman
Humble, subtle, but firm and strong
To raise a girl into a woman
Is one of those important and unwanted jobs
Momma tried to teach me life
To be a survivor just like her
But everyone else tells me �life�
Just like �death�, is another word
She said to always be feminine
Sexy, charming, shy and smart
But still be strong, a feminist
Always finish what i dared to start
Momma taught me about oppression
Said, �Man will hurt and ridicule you,�
And all along she still told me,
�To yourself, you gotta be true.�

:: 2004 4 February :: 9.42am
:: Mood: apathetic
:: Music: A Perfect Circle - Magdalena

ooooooovercome by you...
hoooooliest of altars.. and THEN i LOVE this song. it's so absolutely sexual... i love it i love it i love it. i wanna change my name to magdalena when i'm a profesisonal actress. so i've been sick lately and that's why i didn't update in so freaking long! *tear* i missed you all too!

i can't stop thinking about naruto. i fuckin love that cartoon like hell. it's so THERE and so I WANNA BE THEM and uchiha sasuke-kun is my man, the THE hottest cartoon character ever drawn. his only rival is Garaa of the Desert. *sigh* i need to get out more.

now that that's out of my system, i just spent a good fifteen minutes elaboraitng to AC why i wanan be an actress. it got me thinking. i mean, why am i only ME when i'm playing the role of someone else? that makes no logical sense? i've always been a sucker for the irrational. ah well. and THEN

i feel like my life's turned into something boring. i need some life in my life. i need to make something. a drawing or a story or something. i just need a bolt of inspiration. maybe i should do that now...

:: 2004 29 January :: 6.33pm
:: Music: oasis - bittersweet symphony

bittersweet symphony
there's no elevation high enough
if i stand on my tiptoes at the top of everest
it's not high enough to match case
of how important this is
i can make this difference, given a chance
if not given i'll take it
bite my past
it makes all the difference in the world
who i was yesterday and who i was the day before
it's ok, because even when i'm new
the person i am depended on her
and it's something biter to mourn and grief
the loss of who i once was years and only days ago
but it's so sweet that i am someone new and powerful
that which doesn't kill you makes you want to die
but it's ok, because this symphony is just getting started
this bittersweet symphony is just getting started
so, high on my mountain top
with the world's eyes on me
it's not just a matter of being heard; it's so much more
so would you let them know?
i'm that one girl who's going to change the world

:: 2004 29 January :: 5.50pm
:: Mood: nostalgic only happy this time!
:: Music: weezer - only in dreams

cinquo ci cinquo ca
i had so much fun today! it started out whatever. i showered in the morning, then ym brother called n told me to get ready, we were going to my dad's house to say bye to him before he left for 7ajj. so we went there n left at 2 or therabouts when they left. i got home, changed AGAIN, made myself a quickie lunch, and waited for fara7 to pick me up. finally, she gets here (i'm kidding kookee! i lerve you!) and we head for fanar. just the feeling of riding in the car with her, talking to her the way we always used to, brought back the best fuckin memories in the world.. she was wearing a red turtleneck, and i was wearing the che guevara shirt she made me for my birthday, and we were all communism at it's greatest hehehe. so we get to fanar, and we walk into the store MAC for makeup, where we instantly notice, the guy working there is gay (he had the world's cutest ass). it's all good n well, until he decides he wants to put on fara7's mascara, and he STABS HER IN THE EYE WITH IT! i thought it was funny as hell, altho i did offer my sympathies to my girl. so we pimp ourselves out with THEIR makeup, using testers entirely mind you, and leave for TOPSHOP where we decide it would be a good idea to call zach. naturally, we pick up a few thongs, try on a few miniskirts, the usual. so zach calls me a couple minutes later n goes "where are you?" and i'm all "topshop," so he goes "meet me outside" because he's "too man" to go inside topshop :P we laughed our asses off tho, cuz there was this one shirt in the guy's section that had a hand pointing downwards and it said "it's gonna be huge". then the otehr one said "sexual intellectual". funny as hell... we're outside, we wait, he shows up. hello, kiss kiss, meet my cousin, oh you don't look anything alike, yea he's not half-american or hot as i am hahaha don't toot your own horn. all this with a big ass smile on his face BY the by. we decide to move our little party to starbucks. i got myself a tall american black, purrrfection. zach didn't drink coffee cuz he's gay like that. his cousin left, we went upstairs, and then, fara7 and zach's battle of wits begins. i find this all amusing, until two of his frineds run into him there, and decide to have a seat. the guy in the red shirt was hot, which we told him, and joked about it too. he likes it too much and hits on fara7 BIG TIME. hahaha. then ja3far comes by, we see him, hello, later. and THEN, zach leaves, we kiss kiss, later, we go to bustan to shop for shawls. at around this time we had decided we were gonna walk to marina later and check out the rock concert at virgin. but as we leave bustan (which had nothing worth buying) my mother calls and pitches a fit. stay put in fanar. and so we did. we spent some time in claires where i bought a thumb ring and some small hoops for blag. it was funny cuz i found the perfect sized hoops in a set of 9, and i didn't wanna buy the whole fuckin set, so i switched the earrings with a pair of SMALLER hoops that were sold separately. yay i got what i wanted. i also bought myself TWO, not one but TWO sterling silver toe rings and a new wallet. yay! what else? we left claire's, decided fanar was boring, and went to river island while we waited for m7amad to pick us up n take us back to my place. at river island, we tried on a funky dolka pot skirt and a way too cute for words dolka pot dress! we didn't buy anything, but that was fun! (rules of shopping: try on what you'll never buy, buy what you'll never wear). we reach my house and naturally, we decide to watch HONEY! TWICE! first while i had dinner, then while kookee cornrowed mah hurrrrr. "i don't currr, i just want someone to braid mah hurrrrrr!" we laugehd at things i can't remember. talked about our dreams and hopes and fantasies. discussed various topics including andrew, faisal and blag. we bought pom poms! oh i forgot! when we got to my place, isntead of going straight upstairs we went to 101 dalmations, the toystore downstairs, to find some pom poms for fara7! so we shop and there's this freaky assed balck baby doll, only it wasn't like human black, it was literally BLACK. i found some resident evil aciton figures i decided to buy for my cousin for his birthday. yay! and we got some red pom poms for kookee. it was a great day. i didn't realize how much i missed just hanging out with fara7 until today when i realized just how much fun we used to have. it was great. i lerve you girl! we have GOT to do this more often! and then!

2 comments | Talk to Me

:: 2004 28 January :: 10.13am

sexist
Too weak to fight back
All I could do was try to hide
With no where to go I took it all
Trying to make it, just survive
I don�t know anymore why he beats me up
I lost track of his reasons and lies
So I hate him more each time he�
I�m waiting for a morning he chokes and dies
It could be that he�s thirty years older
Or maybe it�s just because he�s a man
Because I�m too weak to fight back
And maybe women can�t do everything men can

4 comments | Talk to Me

MOANA

:: 2004 28 January :: 1.00am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: the darkness - i believe in a thing called love

i LOVE this song!
ok, so i'm in computer class and THEN! i'm still so pissed at sheriban. shyt, i mean i worked my ass off at this she acts like i didn't do jack. i mean wtf? i spent thursday in school. i was there at 8. and i waited for them to get their asses there so we could work, they get there at 10:45! then they have basketball practice so they leave like 12, and i stayed til 2. as if htat's not enough, we've been staying after school everyday all week until 4, and i missed y appointment to stay afterschool and finish the shyt. and because don't have the BEGINNING MIDDLE END crap WHICH SHE SAID SHE'D MAKE she told the teacher i didn't do anything? wtf?!?! i asked her if she got it and she said " it's ok, don't worry about it, i got it i got it." so why was she expecting me to ahve it this morning?! i'll show her, so IN YOUR FACE if she tells the teacher. i'll tell the teacher i did the synopsis, the product description, and the storyboards not to mention the title on the first poster. we'll see who wins this war, because it IS war, and i don't lose.

so i punched the bathroom door a couple times to make myself feel better which ended up fucking up my fist. i feel better though. but all in all, i think this is a good day. i mean i got an 89 on the english presentation, and i told my mom about my 3.3 GPA and to quote, she sent the following msg: " Very good sweet" i think that's so fuckin cute! sweet! i don't wanna go home, i wanna go home with barney isntead. we see.

i've been listening to this song on repeat all class! ahhhh i feel so good! it's such a feel good song. i love that." i wanna kiss you every hour every minute every dayyyyy!" beautiful! i miss blag :( seriously yesterday all i could think about was how much i missed those soft lips, long fingers, perfect abs. i miss the way he always pushes the perfect spot on my lower back. ugh i miss him! i wonder when they get back...

ok i better start working now. I BELIEVE IN A HTING CALLED LOOOOOOOOVE!

:: 2004 25 January :: 6.43pm

i love you