achoo's Journal

achoo's Journal

.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 24 September :: 11.15pm

i never realized how much i miss my old friends until tonight. oh myyyyy erika and danielle welcome back into my life you great girls you!

other than that... you drive me NUTS as usual
and as usual, I still love you like no other, you crazy cat. BLEH! and by cat i mean roman.

and. other than that... i just want to remember, gracelinsephiakennajalynANDICANT REMEMBER!

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 24 September :: 6.26pm

errrbody's gonna be cryin. BLEH

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.J.E.S.S.

:: 2005 23 September :: 10.57pm

yeah so i'm an idiot, crap, a bitch, a liar a cheat a stealer what else am i ?

oh that's right "NOT TOP 10" oh i'm so sorry so sorry i can't be an allstar child

fuck you.

and fuck you too for caring so little and being so inconsiderate.

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 22 September :: 10.30pm

Here comes a big one....

i hate this situation me here and him there and him with all those friends and people and me here at home and going to stupid high school i hate it. but most of all how will i ever get there. my parents wont pay for my college even though they are loaded they have money coming out of their butts compared to most people and hey whatever it's there money. what will i do. i just want to cry and nothing really presents itself as a problem to you. we have no problems . no actually right now there is a problem there is one. i'm sick of school i ahte tha;sdlfkjasl;tjkasdl;gjasl;tjasel;jkasl; i hate it i hate that everyone is not miserable like me. i hate you all i hate that you are enjoying school and i'm hating it. i hate that i'm not getting a's on tests anymore. i hate that i am losing all money with stupid payments. i hate school lunches i hate subs and pizza and tacos and shit. i hate it all. you're everything you are my encouragement and my happiness and my all i just dont know if i can do it.
i hate being the uncool one and the dependent one and the sad one and the loner. i hate it all. i hate you and i hate that you are so stuck up and prissy and such a tremendous BITCH. when i have been so damn nice to you. I was so nice and you throw it in my face and be a huge bitch. The so-called "friends" you have are losers so don't get all hyped up on them. And leave my domain alone please. God I can't even get away from you there now? Don't walk in places you don't fucking belong. I wish I could kick you square in the face you fucking bitch.
I still haven't taken the ACT. Everyone has but me I swear. I'm going to do horribly that is if I even take it. No one knows what I mean. You probably don't even. Because it seems you never listen to it.
I listened to this sermon thing all the way home. I dont know. I just want to be involved again and feel like I used to. Being too busy is always the excuse. Too tired and too busy.
And on top of all this, I feel like a horrible, useless person.

i just want to go cry.

Do scholarships online ever really come through?

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 20 September :: 10.46pm

what is good about me?

Desires/ Pleasures

autonomy
trustworthiness of others
loyalty
fidelity
to know the hidden motives of others
the appearance of righteousness
secrecy
privacy
a double life
vigilance
wariness
suspicion
adversaries, enemies, grudges
authority
superiority
self-sufficiency
independence
control
perfection
withdrawal
self-criticism
being special
isolation

Fears/ Distresses (anxiety)

being controlled
subordination
deviousness
deception
treachery
closeness
being covertly manipulated
interference of others
being put down
being discriminated against
secret coalitions formed by others
being undermined or depreciated by others
humiliation
being abused or being taken advantage of
being demeaned
authority/authority figures
those he or she sees as weak, soft, sickly or defective
inferiority
making mistakes
being different from others

obviously absofuckinglutely nothing.

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 15 September :: 5.40pm

ugggghghag;aslkgjasl;dkgjaskgj this place is dumb
i know where i want to be though

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 15 September :: 3.57pm

Hello I am going to go take a long shower and shave my legs and dry my hair all pretty and I will look so pretty for Roman tomorrow. hooray hooray. Not seeing him as often makes me feel like I should look beautiful when I do. Yeah, time for a shower.

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 13 September :: 9.37pm

How i feel about my best friend Jess Hazen..

jessica.:How sweet it is to be loved by you! says:
boomo boom i love youuu
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
i love you too
jessica.:How sweet it is to be loved by you! says:
i love the way your ass goes badunkadunk
jessica.:How sweet it is to be loved by you! says:
haha
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
lol aww thanks jess, you're so sweet.
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
:0)
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
that should be a woohu post for sure.
Jess-You're everything you swore you weren't anymore. says:
but im too lazy to update, again
jessica.:How sweet it is to be loved by you! says:
lol i'll do it

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 13 September :: 8.23pm

i got my haircut like big time.

fun!

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 12 September :: 10.28pm

Sorry girls... and Ty of course. I just promised myself I wouldn't deal with it anymore. I wrote a really long email and I won't let you have to deal with this again next year.

In other news, it is too late to start a fall class for college so I will start dual-enrolling in the winter.

In other other news, I have just found i have been shorted on tips every night i've worked except last night because of the computer. Yeah, we just realized this last night. Great huh?

and finally, you guys are such jerks. I can't believe all of you used to be my friends. You treated me so bad today and made me cry a lot. I realize more and more like every day how much better friends I have. And by that I mean Roman and Jess. Roman actually cared when I cried about it unlike you mean people I hope you feel really bad. Because that was low and mean. and Jess listened too. And then of course I have Jess G who I know would listen if I told her. Which I will, tomorrow. You guys made me feel so crappy when I actually WAS feeling okay about myself in the beginning.

I have a xanga now. jessabessbaby

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 12 September :: 3.41pm

what a bad day. i can't believe that THAT is what i've become... or something.? mean asses. *cries a ton*

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 10 September :: 10.37pm

you drive me absoulutely up the wall sometimes but i love you more than anything in the entire world baby. that'll never change no matter how crazy you make me. love you and happy anniversary!! :0)

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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2005 10 September :: 1.49pm

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK!?!!? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT.

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