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2007 24 October :: 3.50pm
Things have been looking up lately.
Not that they had far to go, seens how things had already been going good.
But I was told today that I was recommended for a job. (in the same shop).
Hopefully I get it.
[x]
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spud
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2007 22 October :: 12.34pm
:: Mood: not good
it's funny how quickly things change sometimes.
it's not funny how slowly i adapt to them. because just about the time i get settled in (if at all), it changes again anyway, and i'm just that much less interested in attempting to change for the next time.
funnier yet is how even when i don't feel like trying, i wind up changing anyway. it just seems like it should be more advertent and thought out.
this all adds up to me being listless and worthless, and me feeling all the emotions appropriate to those qualifications.
1 Open Fire |
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2007 21 October :: 5.39pm
:: Mood: whelmed
:: Music: Extreme - Cupid's Dead
:: Romance Novel ::
Night is the time for deep conversations.
Staving off sleep for the value of a moment.
The haze tries to convince you to forget by morning.
Subduing it, you rise to face the afternoon, believing yourself a poet.
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2007 6 October :: 2.30pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: sad kermit
everything happens for a reason, right? at least, some would like to think so - myself being one of them.
that being said, i'm still trying to divine the full significance of gunnie's bonfire, thursday night's conversation with heather, drunksitting tonight (as opposed to being with katie and lindsay), and the fact that i found a frog in my laundry this morning.
this is all adding up to something monumentally mediocre. i can feel it. i just hope it's me.
3 Open Fire |
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jayzulla
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2007 3 October :: 5.49pm
:: Music: Weezy - Top Back (Seat down low)
Red Flannel for the win. People at work were asking me at work what exactly we do up there. I told them I go with no plans, except for partying hard and seeing my town act like a buncha idiots. W00T.
3 Open Fire |
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2007 2 October :: 12.26am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: toad the wet sprocket - dulcinea
happy october everyone
so i saw benzer and robbie this weekend. that was crazy. and i got to hang out with kevin a little bit, which was also nice.
turns out i might be headed up to c-town this weekend. is it red flannel? or is that next weekend? i think it's this weekend. which would be freakin' insane. i don't know why i can't quite escape the place. and why i don't quite want to. there's nothing in that town, but i can't quite give it up. and then i remember all the people. or i'm painfully reminded. either way, i find myself there intermittently.
which has interesting ramifications for the post-graduate plan of attack.
anyway, happy october everyone.
8 Open Fire |
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jayzulla
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2007 27 September :: 11.51am
Vick is a dumbass. Not only does he get involved with one dog fighting ring, he's linked to another where the owner/leader was found murdered execution style. Then he fails a piss test. Laugh, rot in hell you ignorant fuck. I hope inmates have their way with your ass. Pun intented.
2 Open Fire |
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2007 26 September :: 3.16pm
ALLY HAD HER BABY TODAY!!
Name: Autumn Irene O'Connor
Weight: 8lbs 9oz
Length: 21 inches
Time: 12:15 PM
4 Open Fire |
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2007 21 September :: 9.26pm
Interesting things have happened lately.
I was in shock for atleast a 24 hour time period.
Wednesday night around 10:15 we heard a knock at our door. So Mike told whoeverit was to come in because we were doing one of his Criminal Justice Quizzes online.. But whoever it was just kept knocking. So he got up and answered the door. Much to his and my surprise, there stands a man saturated in blood. From head to toe. Covered. Mike jumped back about 2 feet, and my eyes grew as big as they could possibly get. Mike asked the guy if he wanted us to call 911. But he just kept repeating 'i crashed my bike, please don't call the cops.. please man, don't.. i'll go to jail.. im drunk" So we got the guy a wet towel, so he could put it on the gaping hole he had in his head. Mike followed the guy out to the pavement when the guy realized he was at the wrong apartment. He took him down to his nephews apartment and the cops showed up. When Mike was talking to the cop, and the guys nephew one of them asked the guy if he got beat up. And the guy, who entirely intoxicated, said "yeah I did. that guy punched me in the face" (pointing at Mike) and Mike was like "dude, you just showed up on my door step, I don't know who you are". I went outside after swallowing my stomach, and there was a massive blood trail. Blood all over my door, bottom of the door frame, side of the door frame, our door mat, steps. In the mean time we're trying to find out where this guy came from, and what happened.. And we notice that his BICYCLE was leaning against one of the garages out back, and the door as well as his bike was covered with blood as well. So then we followed the trail back the other way, and found the spot where he crashed. He either hit a parked truck on his bike, or just simply fell over. There was an extreme puddle of blood on the ground and then smears on the front of the truck.
I haven't ever witnessed ANYTHING like that in my life.
When I went to try to go to sleep that night, I had knots in my stomach so bad that I thought I was going to puke and everytime I'd close my eyes, I'd picture that guy. When I did fall asleep, I'd start sweating so bad that I'd wake up, or Mike would wake me up.
I had nightmares.
Now Im just paranoid of everything and anything that could possibly be in the dark.
6 Open Fire |
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2007 5 September :: 3.40pm
So it's been awhile since I have had something of some use or interest.
I still work the same shitty job.
Mike and I are doing great. Wonderful as a matter of fact.
I spent a lot of time with my dad, sister and brother (in law) this weekend.
I had a lot of fun.
Mike went to fireworks with my sister, dad and I.
We walked.. Pretty amazing.
Hopefully this time next year, Mike will be a probation officer or whatever he decides to be, and I will be able to not work haha..
I got my first speeding ticket..
I just called to see how much it is going to be..
$86 dollars isn't bad. :)
5 Open Fire |
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2007 26 August :: 12.26am
Thursday my friend Katelyn had her baby. I am way excited because I get to see her tomorrow!!
I also went to see Ally and her pregnant belly today.
I cannot wait until she has her baby..
1 Open Fire |
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spud
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2007 17 August :: 7.51am
:: Music: BnL - Everything Had Changed
summer is over. vegas is over. williamsburg is over.
i have a bright future in a questionable vocation and another two wonderful years of college to look forward to.
right now, i'm sitting in an abandoned, foreclosed home - after working a 10 hour shift - getting ready to spend all day (and the rest of the weekend) moving shit, yet again.
life is a very, very odd thing. and this song is very fitting for this particular epoch in mine.
i made a vow to do a couple of things for myself within the next week. we'll see if that happens or not.
2 Open Fire |
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2007 10 August :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: Enraged.
If you thought your day was bad..
What needs to change:
While you do work hard, it has been observed for some time that instead of being respectful and helpful to your co-workers, you have been a major contributor to a hostile, judgemental and difficult work environment. Belittling, jabbing comments as well as rough handling of equipment and passing of material are just few examples of behavior that must stop. While you may argue about others not going enough, it is not much different than what you were able to do when you first started. You have also exhibited these types of behaviors with people not even in your work cell.
It was hoped that discussing these issues, you would take an honest look at yourself and look for ways to improve the situation. Unfortunately, right after this conversation, the same negative behaviors were displayed.
Why this is a concern
These types of behaviors are contrary to the values of GRC and undermine the teamwork required to achieve the highest of overall results. Your condescending and hostile behavior towards others is consuming several people's times on these issues and making work difficult for others on a daily basis.
What results are expected
Everyone who comes to work should expect to be treated respectfully and professionally. When issues or problems arise, we should be honest and look for ways to solve the problem and find was to achieve the highest overall result. When new people come into GRC, rather than belittling them, you should be making them feel welcomed and help them perform their job better. This may mean doing more than your share initially until they learn how to do the job efficiently.
What happens next
You need to aware that creating a hostile work environment can begrounds for immediate termination. If we do not see a dramatic difference in your behavior, termination of employment will be the immediate consequence for you.
That is a letter I recieved from the HR Director. Shannon recieved the same letter. So after reading that you'll understand how my day went. As most of you may know I have had a problem with Christine for awhile now. Things have never escalated to the point where she felt the need to tell our supervisor every little detail of every conversation. Im not trying to make myself sound better than her, or be immature and childish about any of this. However, I do not appreciate her jumping down my throat for supposedly copping an attitude. I was simply stating a true fact, and she blew up at me. It is not my fault she misconstrued that situation as well as when Stacy and Shannon hashed it out, after Stacy tried hashing it out with me. I am in no place to point fingers, because I am guilty of being rude, and judgemental. I also do not appreciated Christine telling Shannon when she first started that she better not let me meet her boyfriend because I would try and steal him. Also that I was trying to come between a supposed love affair between Brandon and Angel. I do not know where she got any of that. (For the record, and Im pretty sure all of you realize that I am very at home with Mike. I do not need another man. And I wouldn't be a susie-homewrecker and try to break people up. If people at work are having a love affair, that is their business.) I am not guilty of talking behind their backs because whatever I have to say, I willingly say it to their faces. I have a spine, and Im not going to back down. I don't lay down helpless to be kicked. I may have done that once upon a time, however things have changed.
I do not know where they got that I belittle the new hires, when the only person on the line I have said was slow, was Christine. And thats because she's been there 3 years, and still cannot keep up. When I started working there, I was told the first day by the supervisor that gossip was not tolerated, and if I didn't make rate after a certain amount of time, I would be let go. What happened to those policies?
Also, I am not offended easily, nor disturbed. But when I hear things come from Christines mouth about how her 11 year old daughter wants to get her clit pierced. Or how she found a used condom in her 13 year old daughters backpack. Or how her 17 year old sons girlfriend has a smelly pussy. I am very offended and disturbed. It is uncalled for, true or not, to say those things in the workplace. Especially about your own kids.
And trust me, I have tried telling my supervisor all of this, and it obviously hasn't gotten me anywhere. I am all out of ideas.
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2007 3 August :: 11.31pm
I haven't posted anything in here for a little while now. Partly because I am completely tapped on anything I want to say. I have done enough communicating lately that I have nothing left to vent. However, the tables have turned. I am frustrated and confused. I feel like I'm being selfish on all that is going on. But its the only thing that feels right. I just wish things were different. I don't even know where to begin.
I dont understand why I can't just forget the fact that she's my mother. I don't understand anything she does. I don't get why I try. I don't get why no matter how hard I try to avoid her, or how many times I say I hate over there, I end up there. I always leave pissed off, or this time, crying because Im so upset. Its because of things I witness, things that are said or things that are done. I don't get why I can't come to terms with the fact that my mother is an alcoholic that smokes pot and prefers men over her children no matter how hard she tries to say otherwise. I have a hard time trying not to care. I do so good for awhile, and then I break because i feel bad. I hate how I can be so cold and act like no one around me exsists, yet Im always worrying about everyone. I always have something big on my mind, and I get stressed out. I honestly, do not understand my mother. At all. I truly do not understand her. And she doesn't understand me. She doesn't realize that she has hurt me.
For instance, tonight I was over there washing my car, and spending time with her, like she has wanted to do for a couple of weeks now, and Joe shows up. Granted I new he was going to come over to get rid of the bat(s) she had. Anyway, she basically ignored the fact that I was there, and made plans for her, Joe and his friend to all go back to his place. After Joe's friend asked if I wanted to come out there, she spoke up and said "oh yeah, you can go if you want". And then rushed me out.
Not to mention the fact that earlier in the week, she invited my brother to go over to my grandma's to pick out what he wanted out of her stuff, but not I. Not the one who she had just spoke with on the phone. She is giving some of my grandmothers things to Joe. She knows that I'd like a few things that belonged to my grandmother and also they were things that she knows I have said I needed for my apartment.. Apparently, I do not rate, but here I go feeling sorry for myself.
I find it quite hard to believe that the only thing that keeps me sane, the one and only thing that I didn't ever think I'd have, is the only thing that makes sense in my life day after day. I have found happiness with him. I love him entirely and I honestly would go crazy without him.
In good news, my brother-in-law is going to be a Cop. (I believe that is what my mother said. It was hard to comprehend anything she was saying).
4 Open Fire |
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2007 21 July :: 9.03pm
This morning about 4 AM, I broke down.
I lost all control. It was probably for the best.
I had been a wreck all week.
I was being an irritable bitch and was hard to be around.
Im glad that I got out what I had to say.
But more importantly, Im happy that I was able to finally talk to him.
He actually seemed to care.
And he held my hand.
That made me feel whole again.
God I love him.
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2007 13 July :: 9.13pm
Nothing exciting has really happened in my life.
I'm still bitter, and distant.
I doubt that will ever change.
I'm still with Mike.
And I'm very happy.
I'm currently looking for a second job.
So if you have any suggestions, please let me know.
Carley: I apologize if you recieve the same text from me a dozen times. Service in Sheridan is crap and doesn't send my texts and then when it does, they send like a dozen times.
I sliced my finger open today.
It bled quite a bit, and has bled since I've been home.
Anyway I think I am going to go get cozy in my bed, or on the couch and watch Shooter.
1 Open Fire |
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jayzulla
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2007 2 July :: 11.34am
Why do people compare themselves with others? Why dont you just live your life for yourself and let other people do their own thing without your two cents? If people want your opinion, give it to them. If not, shut the fuck up. Pull your head out of your ass and open your eyes.
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2007 28 June :: 3.07pm
Apparently cheeseburgers from wendys are worth getting in a big fuss about.
Shannon and I had quite the experience today.
We went in the side entrance to the wendy's parking lot that clearly states drive thru and has arrows pointing the way, and we pulled up to wait our turn and this bone head in a gaudy white station wagon got out of his vehicle and says "you guys aren't going to cut are you?" and I was like "Maybe" and he replies with "The line starts behind me, I suggest you get in it".
However, we were there before he was. (Douche bag).
I was going to cut just to be an ass, but I decided that if I had, he may run into me.
So I just hung back and let him go, and he rear-ended the truck in front of him.
And the guy in the truck was like "You fucking dumb ass! That is what you get for being a total ass hole".
Unemployment and Peoplelink are trying to jew me.
Bastards can suck my anus.
Because I specifically state on my application at Peoplelink I wouldn't work second shift, or for under $8.00 an hour, I apparently do not meet michigans standards to collect unemployment.
So they are going to try and make me pay back the money I collected on unemployment in may.
But I am protesting and they can kiss my fucking ass.
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2007 20 June :: 6.26pm
:: Music: Home: Daughtry
My grandmother is being transfered out of the adult care home she is in now.
I am very thankful for that.
I still don't like that she's going to be in an adult care facility, but I suppose ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
I talked to my Aunt Cheryel quite a bit over the weekend.
For about an hour each time actually, and we talked at least 3 times.
Baseball is almost over.
Thank goodness.
I do not know how much more I can take of having to deal with these kids.
They do not listen at ALL.
But I guess quite a few of them are scared to piss me off.
We have a terrible problem with ants.
They are driving me nuts.
They are the little ones too.
Bastards.
Not sure where the little fuckers are coming from being the apartment is really clean.
Anyway, I believe Im going to go clean my car out..
1 Open Fire |
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jayzulla
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2007 20 June :: 8.56am
I hear on the tv "A Might Heart is truly the first greatest film of the year"
ummmmm, 300.
4 Open Fire |
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2007 19 June :: 12.15pm
celica and focus > avenger
edit: also think about reverting to the total ass i was. to everyone except my crew. some of you might think that that never really ended. you dont even know what ass means if thats the case. bout' to get down and dirty.
4 Open Fire |
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2007 18 June :: 10.30am
this was probably a really crappy plan, but whatever. i don't care, because i'm buzzing and i just really wanted to, and i kind of feel like i deserve it. even though i probably don't. if that makes any sense. which it doesn't. but i don't freakin' care.
i'm having a good time, dammit.
3 Open Fire |
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2007 15 June :: 12.36pm
penDUBS says "pistol grip pump on my lap at all times. they can be fucking with other doggys shit but they cant be fucking with mine. i think ill take out all you motherfuckers without dely"
1 Open Fire |
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2007 13 June :: 8.25pm
This has been a rough week.
I've been battling a headache for 2.5 days.
The heat is really getting to me.
The forcast shows 94 for like Monday.
With rain.
How fucking retarded.
I wish every day could be like my birthday, and the night leading into my birthday.
They were the best couple of days.
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2007 13 June :: 5.59pm
you know, i really don't mind staying up all night. in fact, i kind of like it. it's probably my favorite part of this job. but i REALLY do not like waking up this late in the day. i never get anything done, because i feel like it's already over. and then the weekends are all fucked up. i don't know. i guess we'll tough it out.
3 Open Fire |
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jayzulla
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2007 13 June :: 12.30pm
Yeah, 98% of you should go fuck yourselves. Then put on a black jump suit and run into oncoming traffic. Yeah, I'm not joking.
I wish I didnt care about anyone so spraying my brains all over to escape stupidity and hypocricy would seem like a rational plan. Dont ask what my problem is, because chances are....you guessed it, you're the problem.
3 Open Fire |
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2007 9 June :: 9.03pm
I went with my mom and my aunt to take my grandma some of her things at the adult care home.
The guy told us that while we were gone, she kept asking if he could call one of her daughters because her appointment was over.
It was extremely sad.
And then when we walked in, she kept asking when we were going to take her home.
And she'd start crying as soon as we told her that she had to stay.
She'd ask us why a dozen times.
It was so hard having her ask me that.
Her dimensia is getting worse.
She thinks that she fell this friday, and not last friday.
And doesn't understand why she's in the adult care.
It was seriously heartbreaking.
And then I come home to things out of place, my front door wide open.
I guess Im just frustrated.
7 Open Fire |
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2007 9 June :: 1.57pm
I had a very good birthday.
Plans changed a little bit, but it was still a very good day.
I went to the movies last night and saw Knocked up.
I thought it was pretty funny.
I didn't get to go to B-Dubs like I had anticipated, but what can ya do.
I'm not going to make a big deal of it.
My grandmother was put in an adult care facility.
Her house is going to be put up for sale.
And my uncle cut his finger off yesterday.
I don't know if I can deal with my grandma being in a place like that.
I don't know if I can go through that again.
I watched my grandma vanzoest in an adult care/nursing home facility, and it broke my heart.
It was horrible.
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jayzulla
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2007 8 June :: 3.58pm
My mom says to my father - " our damn bathroom sink has been leaking for 2 years, and you lay around and watch Paris Hilton go back to jail?" my dad - "It had shades of the OJ Simpson chase"
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2007 8 June :: 8.40am
meine arbeit
if you ever find yourself wondering "hmm. i wonder what chris does at work, for the summer. how does he spend his time?" then this entry is for you.
story 1:
i work in a warehouse/factory. we get parts that come in on semi-trailers, and i have to take the skids and boxes of parts to various places in the warehouse, and put them on these gigantic racks. the majority of guys at work call them "pallet-tier racks". but every time they say to put stuff on these racks, i can't help but picture "palantir racks", because that's what it sounds like. palantir as in the lost seeing stones in lord of the rings. to make this story even more dorky, when i imagine these "palantir racks" they look a lot like how i mentally envisage the prophecy room in the ministry of magic in harry potter. and i laugh at myself every single time. which, you can imagine how often that happens in a night. it's cool, because i'm laughing all the fucking time.
story 2:
there is this fenced off area where they have large machines for cutting the fabric that they use to upholster the chairs and stuff. there are openings in the fence, all of which are accompanied by a sign that says "WARNING! cutters only allowed in this area". the word order in this is what amuses me. i understand that the spirit of the message is "danger! there's some sharp shit going on in here, and unless you're a trained professional, you're liable to lop something off inadvertently. and nobody wants that. especially our lawyers." however i always consider the idea that cutters, as in emo kids who slash their wrists, are only allowed to be in the cutting area and nowhere else. i realize that the cutting area would be a terrible place for such folk, so i decided that it would be cool to take a picture of one of the signs, and splice it onto an image of a padded room. that thought entertains me every time i pass one of those signs. again, just imagine how often i'm entertained in a night.
story 3:
this story isn't funny. they're putting me on the assembly lines starting sunday night. whcih means new boss, new job, new coworkers, new bullshit. and for the most part means: worse boss, terrible job, worse coworkers, and more bullshit than you can shake a tree at.
basically.
4 Open Fire |
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