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allyson

:: 2011 2 March :: 12.19am

Callie is in my arms and autumn is asleep upstairs. As I read my two blogs ( one about baby scarlett who has brain cancer and the other about maddie who passed away of Sids feb. 17th at 4 months old) I can't help but feel so blessed to have everything I do. I must tell jared thank you when he gets home this morning. I have my two babies alive and well(minus a cold) and a husband that is perfectly happy working (and working hard) and letting me stay home. Every morning that I wake up and have my husband,daughter and baby alive...I am happy.
My heart aches for those not as fortunate as me. And their pain has made me realize EVERYTHING I have to be grateful for. Callie crying at 2 am.... me changing her clothes because she has pooped through yet another outfit....autumn coughing so much she throws up....and when they look at me with their sincere loving eyes....
I wish they knew what a difference they have made in my life and my childrens. Because of them I treat every second of every day like I might not get another.

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allyson

:: 2011 21 February :: 12.44am

exhausted
Seriously. I do not know how a baby can wake up every two hours at night and then wake up bright eyed at 9 in the morning. And still manage on top of that to only nap a couple times a day. Im tired. You're crying right now and have been since at least midnight. Im about to go insane. I thought they say that babies will stop after a certain amount of time. Apparently you're stubborn. I hate it.

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moomoo

:: 2011 15 February :: 7.57pm

Life has been interesting, ended things with bo, but looks like I already have someone else in my life. However am not rushing it and just gonna take it slow. School is blah, will be happy when its over. I am so ready for summer, over winter.

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jayzulla

:: 2011 15 February :: 2.18am

I neglect woohu so much. I am sorry.

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allyson

:: 2011 9 February :: 12.15pm

4 months old!
Callie,
Wow! You have had a few busy days. Saturday the 5th we started you on oatmeal. You ate probably half and the other half ended up all over your clothes. The next day, you ate all of it! ( my little piggy) Then things started getting harder haha. You decided you wanted to play with it and shoved your hands in your mouth. Yesterday you were too upset to eat and today you ate a few bites, played with some and some ended up on your face and clothes. Every bite you did eat... made you gag...and this horrible expression would come across your face like it tasted so sour. But I tried it before you did and it was NOT that bad.
Last night you rolled from your belly to your back TWICE and it was intentional haha. You don't really like being on your tummy but you still are physically capable of rolling from your back to your tummy. Oooh and another thingbyou started doing a couple days ago was switching your pacifier between your hands and also outrun it back in your mouth. I'm so proud of you! Those skills are way above your current age (6 month skills). Currently you are asleep in my arms. I think you are going through a growth spurt. You used to sleep from 12a- 8am without fail for 2 months straight. The past week or two.. you've been up at 5 and then 9 wanting to nurse for a half hour! Not to mention still eating ever two hours during the day and you've also started nursing on both sides. Piggy.
Happy four months.

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allyson

:: 2011 6 February :: 12.54am

Callie~
You are 17 weeks old today. In 3 days, you will be 4 months old. I can not believe how fast these 17 weeks have come and go. Each morning when you start rustling around and break out that beautiful smile makes me realize how lucky I am for you to be here with me. I may not have realized it then... but when I had you... we both could have died right there in that bathroom. I apparently.lost a lot of.blood and God only.know how many other things could've gone wrong with the birth in general not to mention all the tlabor that could've been wrong with you. I had been in active labor for 12+ hours and didn't know it. That can put a lot of stress on babies. Lucky for me, you were strong and healthy. Right now you are sleeping right next to me. I'm listening to you breath.
Today, you were so happy. I was able to put you down and play and talk to you...I even left you on the activity mat all alone and you tugged and pulled on the toys attached to it. Grandma and gumpy came over this evening and while grandma had you, you kept looking around the room for me to make sure I was there. I love that now you fuss when I put you in your chair when I have to make dinner or clean. And then when I walk in your direction you start smiling and giggling but as soon as I walk past you, you let out a cry. You love me. And I love you. At least today while I made dinner and sister was talking you decided to talk back. Goo this gaah that. " a goo a goo" over and over. You even put your pacifier back in your mouth after it fell out.

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moomoo

:: 2011 3 January :: 11.21am

So things are going really good, I feel like this is going to be a really good year. I have a amazing boyfreind finally and seems like I have finally found a great circle of friends. That just dont sit around smoking pot all the time. I cant believe next year am graduating from the nursing program, cant wait!. Hope all is well with everyone else.

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skife

:: 2011 2 January :: 5.09am

Dear beave,


Keep your stick on the ice

Love,
-beave

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rayray

:: 2010 28 November :: 4.01pm

For the last 9 months, I thought that my whole life had changed when I found out I was pregnant on March 7th.
Clearly I was wrong.
On June 16th, when I found out I was having a baby girl, and cried because I was scared she was going to be just like me, an emotional wreck her whole life, and blame her mom for everything, I thought my whole world had changed.
But again, I was wrong.
It wasn't until November 8th, that my whole life had changed. This time I wasn't wrong.
Welcoming my baby girl into this world, was the most amazing thing.
It is so unbelievably amazing how you think your life can be complete with everything you have in it, until you have a child. Then you know your life is complete.
Part of me believes that I could go the rest of my life without accomplishing another thing, and be okay, because I know that I have created a life, that will keep me going.
I can't wait to watch her grow up.
I am terrified that she will resent me the way I resent my mom.
I am absolutely terrified I will turn out to be like my mom.
But I know that if I do the best I can, and do everything I can not to be like her, I will be okay.

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moomoo

:: 2010 27 November :: 5.10pm

Happiest I have been in a long time!

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moomoo

:: 2010 29 October :: 6.33am

Halloween weekend!!!!

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jordanmackenzie7

:: 2010 19 October :: 7.25pm

I am happy.

I am content.

It feels so good to say that.

<3

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jayzulla

:: 2010 10 October :: 3.29am

Dirty rap music I love it.

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rayray

:: 2010 10 September :: 10.04am

So, I've concluded that watching Medical Miracles or whatever the name of the show is on Discovery Health, is not condusive to a good nights sleep..

There was a woman who was pregnant, but they kept telling her that it was just a cyst.. Well, after 9 months, she indeed had a child. However, that baby had a mass in its stomach that was an 18 week old fetus. It had a head, legs, and arms, with fingers and toes..

Trying to sleep with that in your head, is not easy.. And doesn't help when you already have strange dreams..

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rayray

:: 2010 18 July :: 10.15am

Only roughly 111 more days..

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