today was extremely emotionally taxing. it's like so many lives are crumbling around me and I'm doing everything I can to hold up the pieces. or at least keep them in a nice little pile to be rebuilt..
and my ear won't pop.. I'm so tired of hacking and blowing my nose and not being able to breathe..
I got a new job! it's still with the same company, but it's out of the wretched department im in now. it's a step back but I'm not losing any money and my schedule is essentially the same. but it's doing a lot of form work and customer service, and it also is a little bit of coverage counseling, which im a little excited about. trying not to be too much of an insurance geek... but I do think I'm gonna try and retire at liberty mutual. thats my long term goal curently.
so to celebrate the new job, and just the fact is finally fucking friday ", zoe came over and we got a Lyft downtown and started at mootsy's. we saw a guy who looked like a weird version of the dude, with a walrus and an elephant tattooed on his knees. then we went to luckys which is where I've gone the last 3 times I've gone out. and each time has been completely amazing. the crowd there is just so random, there's no real demographic. and people watching there is fabulous!!! and then you can fucking shake your booty to awoke bad ass music. the dj's mix is just so fantastic, it has modern club music and a healthy mix of 90s and some remixes. and everyone is nice and smiley and friendly. and there are some UBER dancers there. I introduced myself to one, the first one, the was so fresh, and a gorgeous dark skin tone. he said people called him token. he was so gorgoeus. then there was another dark tasty man who could move like a menace! he was having a dance off with this little white dude and he was holding his own, but very loose and messy looking. it was the coolest thing I have seen in a spell! it was so fun!
but then Zoe's boo and his posse showed up, Trevor Erin (guy, went to LC, graduated in 05) Allan and Matt. T is a sweetie, really cool dude, him and Erin are learning sing language together and have secret conversations. I'm thinking of taking some classes.. anyway Matt is a raging asshole who apparently has a very small heart of gold. but him and Erin and Allan were all just being assholes, so I go outside to have a smoke, finish one slowly, wait like 5 minutes and this girl shows up asking for a light, so I smoke another with her. she was adorkable. total sweetheart, very real person. I enjoyed talking to her, I kinda think we went to high school together but I haven't checked. anyway eventually zoe comes out in the middle of the smoke, and we sign a petition, and I go back inside, night progresses with a TON of booty shaking and Jell-O shots and booze (and water!!). t leaves with his crew to dunkles? or something, it opened a few weeks ago, and we meet them there, and Matt is enraged we are there, he fucking hates zoe for some mysterious reason. he was a douche. anyway we have a drink there, then go get hot dogs. zoe has peed twice in public at this point! we are chillin on the corner shooting shit. we get into a debate about how joking about rhianna getting hit by Chris brown is more offensive than one about the World Trade Center terrorist attack. and me and Erin see going at it. I was seeing red most of the night and this was just the perfect time to argue for arguments sake. it was nice to feel like a bitch! and a smart bitch. Allan and t were trying to keep the peace "oh they aren't really bad guys, blah blah". bullshit!
so I go with zoe to pee behind the umpqua bank (which is the bank where a and m work) and it was fun, but I got pee on my boot... anyway, these two cute girls come up and ask for a light, and they are toasted. one is really friendly and extroverted and the other was kinda bitter and introverted. the extrovert was hitting on me pretty hard, and then I impressed her by talking about my major because she was there from MN giving a speech on some business concepts. I probably could have gone with her to her hotel that night, or at least made out, but I was too chickenshit. I need to be more aggressive I think, if I ever want to get anywhere with women. I know the body language, I just get scared of that rejection if I'm wrong. (I haven't ever been wrong though, so I'm not sure what the problem is). Allan drove me and Zoe home and we hung out, finally going to bed at 4.
it was a fun night. could have been better but I had a good time nonetheless! we ran into the tattoo guy outside luckys and he was an interesting guy. weird but funny.
I'm excited for this new adventure at work. I start in two weeks. five months of training. and I think I'll have my favorite boss again!! and she'll be in training with me. I feel like I'm betraying my team members, but I need to be happy, and this job is just too sad for me.
I lived in the states longer than I lived in Thailand, but I felt that where I grew up felt lonely. Maybe it's because I was young. When I actually started to grow up, I wasn't as passive as I used to be and I moved to Thailand. I felt comfortable living in Thailand, but something I never tell anyone is, I miss the food and environment of living in the states. Thai people don't like to eat American food, but that's something I grew up with and I felt full eating a normal American meal. It's something I don't let anyone know or else it will make me different and they're look at me weird. Thai food is good, but sometimes I want to eat something else like Mexican, Mediterranean, etc.. Something good about Thai food is that they use fresh ingredients and they're low calories.
I'll be leaving in a few minutes, but I want to write something first. I worked for 4 days and yesterday was my day off. I spent the day sleeping, eating and doing nothing. I rented a room not far from work. It takes about 5 minutes to get to work if I drive the motorbike really fast, but I don't feel like going to fast. The keloid on my right arm reminded me that I have to be careful. I ride kind of slow. Work starts at 1pm and I come back from work at 10:30pm.
this birthday was enjoyable. friday I had dinner with friends at my favorite sushi place, then we went to lucky's. Samie even danced! it was just me, Samie, Zoe and mike there, and we met up with kim and her group.. we ran into this dog, I think I make him insecure.. not sure haha anyway, it was good. saturday I bought a new piece, super rad double perk set up. named her thumbelina. went to bed early, then chilled with mike until he had to leave.
then I just sat and enjoyed music and third rock from the sun til me sister came. quiet evening with my family.
everything was so delicious. and everyone was so sweet. I couldn't have asked for more. it was beautiful out, and it made me happy