This One Time At Band Camp...

4 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

:: 2002 17 September :: 11.56am
:: Mood: tired

i'm at school right now. i got done with my paper so i got to go online! yay for me! anyways... if anyone has suggestions on how to stay awake during school that don't include going to bed earlier or waking up later, i need ideas. other than that, i have piano and flute lessons tonight. wooo! well yeah... time to go. later :)

1 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

:: 2002 15 September :: 12.44am
:: Mood: happy but tired
:: Music: new found glory- my friends over you (well..it's in my head)

hey kids!! well... this weekend has been pretty fun. last night andy, spud, jessie, gunnie, jenna and i all went bowling. i got a terrible score..but oh well. it was still alot of fun eating pizza at 9 at night and just hanging with my friends. then we came back and had a little bon fire and jenna and jessie spent the night and the guys went home. today jenna went home and jessie stayed all day. andy came back over this afternoon and basically stayed all day. the 3 of us baked cookies and had a pillow fight and all kinds of fun stuff. spud came over later and so did gunnie again and we had another bon fire. everyone went home tonight though. so yeah... it just felt soooo good to get out with my friends and have a GOOD time! tonight i realized how much i missed going out and having fun. so now we are going to try to get together as much as possible because all of us get along so well. beans was supposed to join us tonight but she didn't so maybe next time. :) well kids... that's about all for now...i'm pretty sleepy so i think i'm going to hit the sack. good night and hugs and kisses!!!

7 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

:: 2002 12 September :: 10.12pm
:: Mood: eh.... screw moods
:: Music: africa...my song

this basically sums up what i'm feeling.... it should anyways...

danibean05: gosh life could be so much better
SischoKid2006: yeah it could
danibean05: i have so much on my mind rightnow
SischoKid2006: yeah
danibean05: are you ok?
SischoKid2006: yup
danibean05: ok
SischoKid2006: u?
danibean05: not really
SischoKid2006: need to talk about it?
danibean05: yeah
danibean05: but i dunno....i'm really confused right now
SischoKid2006: well im all ears
danibean05: well i dunno andy... it's just i miss ryan sooooooo much and i cried myself to sleep AGAIN and i hate doing that
SischoKid2006: aww
danibean05: and it's like he's the perfect person for me and it just hurts so much that i can't be with him
SischoKid2006: im sorry
danibean05: thanks
SischoKid2006: yeah...
danibean05: long distance sucks ducks
danibean05: it's hard
SischoKid2006: to the max
danibean05: and i'm always thinking about him
danibean05: oh..last night was the worst because i was just lying in bed crying, and i grabbed jarvis (the gorilla he gave me) and i grabbed his hand...but jarvis wouldn't grab it back and i just wanted ryan sooooooo much
SischoKid2006: aww
SischoKid2006: its all so saddening
danibean05: sometimes i think i'm just living in this fantisy world...like maybe ryan doesn't exist
danibean05: he's just in my head
SischoKid2006: heh'
SischoKid2006: prince charming
danibean05: yep...that's him
danibean05: and if there was someone in cedar i would go for him
danibean05: or even like in the vicinity of cedar
SischoKid2006: heh, yeha
SischoKid2006: yeah*
danibean05: but...i'll always compare them to ryan
SischoKid2006: heh
danibean05: ARG ANDY!!!!
danibean05: why do things have to be like this????????
SischoKid2006: because lifes a bitch
danibean05: it is
danibean05: and my mom is being gay too
SischoKid2006: heh...

yeah... um... that's about it. gnasd

:: 2002 12 September :: 9.28pm

:: 2002 12 September :: 9.03pm
:: Mood: pissed
:: Music: age-six racer

so long...
I am not going to cry myself to sleep. I have too much self-respect than that. And it's somewhat lame and pathetic and doesn't get me anywhere, but in a bad mood. Oh bother. You're gone baby.

Thanks for a great week. Thanks for pushing me to dump my boyfriend. Thanks for the dance and the fun. Thanks for being perfect for me and Thanks for lying and saying all those great things and then...bah! You're a stupid fuck.

al;dkfjal;sdfjl;akdfjl;akdfjl;kd

:: 2002 11 September :: 9.56pm
:: Mood: unenthused and conflicted
:: Music: tom petty-she's a good girl

these faces sure are gay

What is it about an extreme let down with a boy puts you way down? I wasn't expecting to get hold of him...dammit..I've been reduced to swearing. I'd better go make a list about all this because that's what the OCD wants me to do. I hate making the lists.

Aaron made me watch the news from last year. I couldn't eat my corn. They eat so grossly. It's disgusting. I don't know how to feel about all this. Bah. Too many opinions all at once. Can't even list them.

I really wanted that corn.

2 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

:: 2002 10 September :: 9.49pm
:: Mood: helpful/kind
:: Music: U2 daydream believer cover

mmmm... i've been sooo busy latley i haven't had time to write in my journal much. monday i tried out for the play as well as today. band was last night and flute lessons was tonight. drumline is tomorrow and thursday i'm working the consessin stand all night at the football game. friday, saturday and sunday i have off. however, saturday i think i'm having a PARTY because dad will be up north. i'll update you at school for the times and the game plan.

i realized tonight how much i love helping people. i think that's why i signed up to tutor and mentor. tonight i gave some of my good advice to a friend and it just felt so good to be thanked for saying a few words of truth. if any of you EVER need someone to talk to i'm here. i can't promise you'll like what i say to you and it might not be what you want to hear... but i will promise you it'll be for the best. i love you guys. i really do... even though i can be bitchy sometimes, i do care about your problems and i do want to hear. great...now i'm turning all sappy on ya'll. oh well...i'm just like that. ok...well now that i've said what i needed to say, i'm gonna beet my feet. good night guys :)

:: 2002 10 September :: 10.06pm
:: Mood: ha ha ha hysterical
:: Music: cha-cha slide part 2

sugarmouse0587: i still look like the flatty mcflatterson
danibean05: oh well
danibean05: tha'ts ok
sugarmouse0587: yerah
sugarmouse0587: But I'm going to get a real bra!
sugarmouse0587: ha ha
sugarmouse0587: little beans is growing up
sugarmouse0587: in a goaming
danibean05: whoa!!!!!!!!
danibean05: alfirhtat!
sugarmouse0587: flact
sugarmouse0587: spud said nonchalant in his journal!
danibean05: faa fard....pure spagnum peat
sugarmouse0587: i just snorted about a thousand times
danibean05: i know
danibean05: and he was talking about me nonchalantly!
sugarmouse0587: read my profile
danibean05: HA HA HA HA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaHa
danibean05: i think you're a snort

:: 2002 9 September :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: ben folds five- cigerette

this song is quite pretty. i'm adutioning for the play! yikes! it's fun though. marching band was ok today i guess. nothing major or earth shattering. what is earth shattering is that i still have hw to do! i'm such a luss. that means i should probably go. oh..i got hurt today doing the lurching luss dance. ouch! thanks alot BEANS! anyway... good night :)

:: 2002 8 September :: 10.19pm
:: Mood: silly
:: Music: um... your face

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which mr. men/little miss are you?
& find out! :)

:: 2002 8 September :: 9.57pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: grooving on the temptions

I saw Cal. I'm a happy Bean. I'm a lucky Bean too.

*whispers, "Thank you."

3 can't stop the B.M. | ok...i was in band....

:: 2002 8 September :: 4.06pm
:: Mood: i have a headache...what does that tell you?!

well... my big thing this weekend was that i transposed my first piece of music. IN MY HEAD WITHOUT WRITING IT DOWN!!!!!!! if you don't know what transposing is, it's when you take a piece of music written for a different instrument (clarinet in my case) and change the notes to match your instrument. so clarinet is in the key of b flat and flute is in the key of c so it wasn't very hard, but i did it and i'm happy. and i managed to go out last night. and i went out friday too. so i guess i'm easing up a little bit and i'm getting to be myself again. it was just hard when i was always worring when ryan was going to call me or when i had to meet him online. but now that we're "just friends for now" it's alot easier. so yeah...last night i rioted with good ol' gunnie, andy s. and dustin n. it was loads, piles and tons of fun. :) anyways.... you've heard enough and i need to mosey on out of here. later.

:: 2002 7 September :: 8.06pm

Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.

I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?