thedarkerside
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2003 1 August :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: poo
:: Music: Smile Empty Soul- Meaningless
Damnit I dont feel good
Err. I don’t feel good I feel like I’m getting sick eehhhhhhhhh. I hate being sick. I hope I’m not getting sick. I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight. I donno, I don’t feel good and I just feel like I want to be alone. I’ll have to go in my room after I’m off the internet so I can get some alone time. That’s why I lock my door a lot. I hate always feeling like no one can help me and like more and more I’m starting to just want to be alone. Its no one fault for that it’s my own. Its just I don’t know.. It’s all mental I guess? I hate feeling like kind of upset like about something or whatever and not knowing what it is. I don’t know its so damn confusing.
I do it for the druuuggs
I do it just to feel alivvvee
I do it for the loovee
That I get from the bottom of a bottleeeee
Arie always passes good music onto me. Thank you Arie. Here are some examples.
Eve 6- Think Twice
Smile Empty Soul- Bottom of A bottle
Trapt- Still Frame
I’m sure there have been more.
i'm out
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thedarkerside
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2003 1 August :: 3.32pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Eve6- Think Twice
I had a great time
I had a great time last night with Arie, Katie, and Krystal at the pool then we went back to krystals. Truth or Dare is always fun in the grass even though Arie missed out on the good stuff after she left. Good times you guys good times. Thanks. I had funnn! CARAMEL FRAPPACHINOOOS lol NOOO NO MORE WHIPPED CREAM!! Sound effects lol When I walk i sound like whipped cream lol i'm so makin that noise at school. Its the best.
It was thundering and lightnining this morning. It was kick ass. It hasnt thundered in so long. I like the loud booms of thunder and the lightning strikes. Theres something so scary about them that its interesting. I like storms. Except tornados lol.
Now I'm just chillin in my pjs downloading some songs by Eve 6, gob, and cold. No one is really online though. That kindof sucks but what do u expect its only 3:30.
Tonight we're havin TACCOOOOSSSSS mmm tacooooos.. this week i get to make my killer homemade enchilladas from cooking class lol kick ass those are so good mm..
I still hope you will miss me when I'm gooonnee......this is the last soonggg
I'm out.
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thedarkerside
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2003 31 July :: 2.44pm
:: Mood: Happy for the moment.
:: Music: Linkin Park -Faint (WGRD)
at school
i cant feel the way i did before
dont turn your back on me
I wont be ignorrredddddd
Ahh gotta love linkin park i dont know how many times i've said that.
I'm at my old elementary school just chillin in my moms classroom gettin some work done and shit. New word. My sister created it. Amiznotch lol The words amy and biznotch put together. Very creative.
I have a headache. Oh well i'll sleep it off lol.
I need to download more brushes for psp. Create new backgrounds, images, icons, just whatever. I will become the master of psp. With the help of arie lol
Nothin much is really going on today other than the constant idea of havin my mom pay me to be here lingering in my mind. But if i asked to get paid she'd be pissed and say that i should be here just because i'm a good daughter or whatever. Oh well I will be gettin money to go back to school shoppin and it will be all good. I still have yet to go.
I kindof feel bad when I cant hang out with some of my friend or when I dont make the effort to. Its not that I dont wanna hang out its just that I'm lazy and anti social. I have to change that otherwise it wont get me anywhere. Its still good to get asked to go places and to hang out with people though. and I dont always turn them down.
I quit.
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thedarkerside
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2003 30 July :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: questionable
:: Music: none
none
First taste of freedom
Last taste of reality
Sinking deeper into darkness
Seeing only shadows now
Stumbling through the thick mud of compassion
Never looking back
Its too late
No time to turn back....
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thedarkerside
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2003 29 July :: 7.24pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: none
Today ugh
Woke up at 6:25 to babysit "The kids" Their dad was home the whole day so I didnt even see why I had to. Oh well........ money. I think they might be moving. That would be a mirical. I hate those kids. 67$. Good shopping money
Went to orthdontist when I got home from babysitting then I took some Tylenol PM and passed out for a while. I'm still tired from the Tylenol PM i feel like I'm floating lol weee.
Back to school shopping next week i think or this week. Starting tomorrow I have to get up like at 8 and go to Valley View Ele. to help my mom get her classroom together. Everytime i go to VV i remember all the fun times I had there when I was a kid. Great times. Too bad the building is like infested with mice -shudders- ick. I better not see any. But the good thing is, is that when I wake up early i get to go to Jodys. mm Homemade toast and jam. mmmmmmmmmm I cant wait for that lol Thats all you need when you go to jodys for breakfast. Toast. Their toast is to die for. When I was little we use to go there before we left for school. Good times. I miss being a kid..not having boobs...being able to do stuff like coloring books..having my mom wipe off my face lol...ahh childhood. Great memories.
I'm out.
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thedarkerside
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2003 27 July :: 7.47pm
:: Music: none
Survey thingy
Today was actually ok. I had fun kindof.
-- BODY ILLS AND SKILLS --
Nervous Habits: biting nails...chewing on stuff lol tearing food apart before i eat it
Are you double jointed?: double jointed pinkys lol.
Can you roll your tongue?: i think so but i tried too hard once and pulled a muscle in my tounge lol it hurt.
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?: i fink so
Can you blow spit bubbles?: nope
Can you cross your eyes?: ya
Tattoos?: no
Piercings and where?: lobes
Do you make your bed daily?: no lol
-- CLOTHES --
Which shoe goes on first?: left
Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?: yes.
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet?: financially i am homeless lol
What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: earings and a necklace
Favorite Piece of Clothing: pjs
Pajamas: dr. scrubs and so on...anything comfy
-- FOOD --
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: both
Have you ever eaten Spam?: NO
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: neopalitin
How many cereals in your cabinet?: i think 3
What's your favorite beverage?: caramel frapps, ice water
What's your favorite restaurant?: OLGAS... taco bell..
Do you cook?: yep
-- GROOMING --
How often do you brush your teeth?: 2 times a day or more
How often do you shower/bathe?: I shoot for everyday lol
How long does your shower last?: 20-30 mins i love warm water lol
Hair drying method:put in my hair gel stuff.. then dry
Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?: nope all natural
Do you paint your nails?: sometimes.
-- MANNERS --
Do you swear?: ya
Do you ever spit?: haha no only when i have to
-- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE --
Animal:KITTY
Food: new york style pita chips and OLGA pita bread
Month: summer months and october.
Day: friday or saturday
Cartoon: as told by ginger, family guy, simpsons, 3 south, Clone high when it was on lol LIBBY! ADD whats this on my ellbow???!? Ghandi and the magical trail mix
Shoe Brand: vans or adidas or nike
Subject in school: creative writing was my first love. or language arts class. :D best class of my life.
Color:pastels..and dark colors
Sport: sleeping lol uhh...HORSESHOES! NO ONE LIKES HORSESHOES SO I'M GOING TO GIVE THEM SOME CREDIT lol
Tv show: too many to name
Vacationing Spot: St.Petes andddd Clearwater
Game: bullshit lol
-- IN AND AROUND --
The CD Player: LP- Meteora
Person you talk most on the phone with: no one .uh krystal ...arie?
Ever taken a cab?: nope
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors?: LMAO yeah...lol
What color is your bedroom?: lime green blues and yellows
Do you use an alarm clock?: only for skool
Window seat or aisle?: window!!
-- LA LA LAND --
What's your sleeping position? normally sides
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?:I cant help it..its so seductive and comfy!
Do you snore?: i'm not sure.
Do you sleepwalk?: not anymore. i did when i was little.
Do you talk in your sleep?: dont think so
Do you sleep with a stuffed animals?: no.
How about with the light on?: when i'm scared lol.
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?: tv
-- WHICH IS BETTER --
Coke or Pepsi?: diet coke thank u very much
Oranges or apples?: apples
One pillow or two?: 2
Deaf or blind?: deaf lol
Pools or hot tubs?: pools i guess.
Blondes or brunettes?: brunettes.
Tall or short?: dont care..for guys tall lol
TV or radio?: tv.
Beach or pool?:beach
Tic-Tacs or Certs?: certs
Snooze button or jump out of bed?: leave me alone alarm clock -blows it up with a bomb- lol
Sunrise or Sunset?: i'd say sunset
Hamburger or Cheeseburger?: cheeseburger.
Morning or night?: night
Sports or news?: if i had to choose... sports.
Indoors or outdoors?: outdoors.
Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?: christmas eve
Cake or ice cream?: ice cream.
Spearmint or Peppermint?: spearmint.
Bath or shower?: shower.
Book or Movie?: mooovie
Green or Red apples?: reeeeeeed.
Rain or Snow?: snow..better chance of school cancelations
Nike or Adidas?: adidas.
-- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU --
Took a shower?: this morning
Cried?: umm 2 days ago
Talked on the phone?: 2 weeks ago lol
Read a book?: a month ago
Punched someone?:today lol
-- THE FUTURE --
Where do you see yourself in ten years? doing something good with my life
Who are you going to be married to?:hopefully some sexy stud with a great ass lol
How many kids?: no clue- adopt lol
Your profession: graphic arts...interior designing...fashion designing somewhere along those lines
Future School: umm.. for high school... interlochen for college..umm donno yet.
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thedarkerside
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2003 26 July :: 9.34pm
:: Mood: Heavenly
:: Music: Xtream Elimination Challenge lol
STOP THE PRESSES STOP THE PRESSES
You might as well just call me Jesus..or Buda....
I have found the recipie for Starbucks Caramel frappachino.
Thats right my children.. bow for me...bow..
I made it myself...
guess what..it tastes so good....
guess what..it smells so good....
guess what..I can add more and more caramel syrup....
and Its all minneeeee
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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thedarkerside
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2003 26 July :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: undecisive
:: Music: Incubus- I wish you were here
I cant pretend this is the way it will stay i'm just lying to bend the truth
No,No turning back now.
The very worst part of you is me.
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Tomorrow...Sunday. Family get together. Yet I still havent managed to get food posioning or aids yet. I have 5hrs and 20 minutes till Sunday. Thats 5hrs and 20 minutes that I have to find a way to get out of this whole social event. Ugh. I know I have to go and that I wont find a way out of going. I dont want to mingle with people I hardly see in dispite or whatever it is thats keeping them from contact. Its too much of a hassle. I dont want to go in a lake. I dont want to go around in pontoon boats. I dont want to have fun. I dont care if i have fun or not. I want to go there and leave. Then not see those people for a while..thats the way realitives are right? My Aunt Renee is coming back Monday though. I dont mind that too much. I want to get her recipie for these mexican tortilla roll up things they are so yummy.
Tuesday I have to babysit again. My sister is helpin my aunt go to the airport ugh. I dont want to babysit I haaaaaate those kids. I hattte kids to begin with ughhhhh. Dont give me a kid until i need one. I'm sooo adopting.
and when I do they are going to be like 14 when I adopt them because so far I think 14-16 are the most interesting years of a persons life. Damn kids.
My moms bipolar I swear. Theres nothing more to it than that. Shes just odd. The way she deals with some things is like...not cool. I mean...she could atleast think it out before she sit there and makes every situation of the day negative.
::mental note:: make it through high school....get good job so I wont have to see parents much other than college money. Find a good appartment. Become a famous decorator/ fashion designer. Move to Los Angeles. Get nice a nice place. Cruise the clubs for guys. Get good career so I dont have to worry about money.
I hate how my sister questions everything I do that she doesnt understand. Instead of being and asshole about it she could atleast try to figure it out before she shoots her mouth of saying incredibly dumb questions/remarks. Come'on guys shes older than me. I shouldnt have to wish that she could try harder to understand things. She should have the common sense to be that way automatically.
I'm so out.
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thedarkerside
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2003 25 July :: 6.17pm
:: Mood: ok
:: Music: none
Watchin gordy lol
last minute babysitting...oh well at least i get money lol mm monnneey so far i have like 35$ and after tonigth i might have like 45-50$ sweet its money and i need it lol
i'm bored though but the kids arent being difficult so thats also good! their computer monitor is like 30inch seriously i feel like i'm sittin at a big screen tv lol g2g
2 made me bleed |
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thedarkerside
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2003 25 July :: 1.21am
:: Mood: ouch
:: Music: none
LMAO
OMG lol Holy fuckin shit poo fuck ass monkey shit poo holy shhhhhhhhhitttt lol omg
I pulled a muscle in my jaw...how random is that?!?! lol omg it hurst like a mother!!!!!
LOL dont even ask how i pulled a muscle in my jaw i have no idea how?!?!
lol owwww...it hurts to swallow lol omg i'm going to die lol
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