one good day among a hundred bad ones... but hey ... i gotta start somewhere eh?
i got to see him yesterday! ... oh that made my day! ... his school had to evacuate cuz it's in melbourne and well they came down to this school in st. pete admirral furagut or some shit like that ... but they took all the students to international plaza and i met up wit him there .. along wit liz, chris, and matt ... it was so great...aww man it felt so good to hug him again... it was so funny cuz i saw him and i literally like ran up to him and jumped into his arms...and he like spun me around... it was nice... i missed him so much ... i got to kiss him and spend time wit him and aww it was so great! but today he left for melbourne... which sucks cuz that's long distance so we're not gonna be able to talk as much as we did this weekend... like last nite we talked till like 11 ... from like 7 30 to 11 ... it was so wonderful. .. i love talkin to him ... im gonna miss him so much ... this sucks... he wants me to write him a letter for everyday we're away hehe aww ... i gotta get some freakin stamps man... he has my address now though ... he sent nancy (his friend's mom) a letter for me cuz he didnt have my address and he said that in it he made a list of all the things he misses about me and how he kept having to go back and add things to it as he wrote the letter... i wanna see it ... i gotta call nancy and give her my address to send it to me ... but yea yesterday was really really nice... who knows when ima see him again..hopefully it's soon... the next time he gets vacation is thanksgiving ... which is like ...fuck that's 3 months away... agh...oh well hopefully there's another hurricane ... hehe... such a strange thing to be wishing for i know.... alrite well i gotta go and do my latin hw for this week so ill talk to u guys later. i love u baby and i miss u very much :* !!

tonite's song: come back by the early november

i talked to my baby!
he called me today.. thru at&t long distance..but my mom said it was alrite ... aww yay! he's absolutely miserable though.. he hates it there ... he says everything reminds him of me ... cuz like during study hall i would always write little notes all over his stuff .. and he's using the same supplies for military school... and so everytime he opens something up he finds a little note from me ... and he says he hates it cuz it makes him wanna cry knowing that he can't be with me ... i miss him so much... hearing his voice though ... that made my day... fuck that .. my week ... ima send him a letter tomorrow ... i think i can handle being away from him for a while but i dont think he can ... just cuz he's so depressed and angry.... his school's evacuating this weekend cuz of the hurricane ... the colonel gave them the choice of coming down to a military school in st. pete or goin home ... he called his mom to see if he could go home and she said no... what a bitch... that pisses me off cuz i mite have been able to see him ... agh. .. god i miss him so much i just wanna like give him a big hug ... everyone keeps telling me that im not myself anymore ... im not all smiley... but i can't help but not be smiley ... school's horrible... everywhere i look it reminds me of him ... every class i had with him .. looking at his empty chair just makes me want to cry ... knowing that he hates his life rite now ... agh it just kills me .. i feel so helpless though cuz there's not much i can do for him .. to make him feel better ... and as if all that shit wasn't enough ... i dont think ima be able to go to europe .. my mom has no money rite now and the cut for the trip is almost over ... w/e ... im not enthusiastic about anything anymore ... it all sucks ... i hate being all mopey ... and i know other ppl hate it too cuz like i can tell it's pissing shilpa off but w/e dude fuck that cuz u know what? she doesn't understand what it feels like .. she doesn't realize that i have the rite to be completely depressed cuz the one person who made my day worthwhile has been taken away from me ... so w/e... it's gotten to the point where everyday i literally count the minutes till it's over and i get to go home and just sulk ... i find myself praying for the weekend to arrive .. cuz walking around that school and seeing all the couples ... agh.. it kills me ... i hate this ... it sucks so bad ... this year was supposed to be fun... it was supposed to be the year that i went to homecoming... got my car... had more freedom... saw colin often... did awesome in school.... but that's all down the fucking drain ... cuz not having colin around makes me not give a fuck about school ... makes my days miserable... it just sucks ... i know u guys r prolly sick of reading bout me bitching and moaning but i dont really give a fuck cuz at school... i find myself trying to smile a little to make everyone else not feel uncomfortable but on my own fucking journal i could care less who gets ticked off ... cuz the truth is im fucking miserable ... and if anyone can change that to where i go back to being myself ... then be my guest... but seeing as u guys rn't colin.. i dont see that happening ... so anyway .. the point of this entry is to say that i got to talk to him ... i smiled... honestly smiled ... for the first time in like a week ... i love that boy... so yea .. everyone else.. have fun wit ur wonderful lives ....

tonite's song: note to self by from first to last
"note to self: i miss you terribly"

our song...
Hey where did we go, days when the rain came.
Down in the hollow, playin' a new game.
Laughin' and a runnin' , hey hey, skippin' and a jumpin'
In the misty mornin' fog with our hearts a thumpin' at you,
The Brown-Eyed Girl
You're my Brown-Eyed Girl
Now what ever happened, Tuesday is so slow,
Goin' down the old man river, with a transistor radio
Standin' in the sunlight laughin'
Hidin' behind a rainbow wall
Slippin' and a slidin', all along the waterfall with you,
The Brown-Eyed Girl
You're my Brown-Eyed Girl.

Do you remember when, ah we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
La dee dah

So hard to find my way, now that I'm all on my own
I saw you just the other day, my how you had grown,
(.. ) Sometimes overcome thinkin' bout,
Makin love in the green grass, behind the stadium with you.
The Brown-Eyed Girl
You, my Brown-Eyed Girl.

Do you remember when, ah we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah
La dee dah

and just when u think things are looking up...it all comes crashing down again..
hi ppl.... yesterday at like 4 .. colin called me .. in tears... and told me that the cops found him and that he's gonna be sent off to military school....i hate this ... i mean he may not be the most well-behaved child of them all but ... the kid doesn't deserve this... they can like sign off a waiver allowing the military ppl to like hit him... that's such bullshit.. he's gonna be so miserable... and im really worried cuz he already feels like he has nothing to live for ... cuz i mean his own family doesn't want him and his education is pretty much ruined since his dad withdrew him from the ib program ... so i mean now that feeling's just gonna grow... i hope he's strong enough to make it through all this ... cuz if anything happens to him .. wow i dont even wanna think about that .. .but yea im just kinda sitting around waiting for him to contact me and let me know everything's alrite... i hope he'll be ok ...

tonite's song: i miss my friend by darryl woley (sp?) ... great song .. so sweet...

ever feel like the "crime" felt so right that, despite the punishment, it was worth it all......
well last nite was officially one of the best days i've had in a while ... well until i got to my house that is.. hehe. i finally got to see my baby! .. i haven't seen him in like a week and ... well it's safe to say i've been absolutely miserable without him. his dad told him that he has to go to military school..so he ran away...and even i dont know where he is cuz he refuses to tell me. he doesn't want me to feel like i have to lie if i get questioned by like his parents or something. but school...and well life itself has just been so depressing and pointless. Everywhere i look... it's like ...we held hands there...and we kissed over here... and he would walk me to my class through here... and he hugged me by that tree... and it's just like everywhere i look im reminded of him and how much i wish he was still here. and lunch.... oh how dreadful it has become.. everyday i would wait... all day... just counting the minutes till lunch arrived cuz i knew that would be 45 minutes of uninterrupted time with my baby... but now.. it's just 45 minutes of absolute misery.... i look around and i see all these couples who get to spend time with each other and are all lovey dovey and it makes me want to just like .. cry. cuz i know that for the rest of high school... im not gonna get to do that wit the one person i wish i could the most...in the past few days i find i have been on the verge of tears more times than not... it's like nothing matters to me anymore ... hw... it can go to hell ... cuz honestly ... when i know that the person i care about mite not even have somewhere to live... somehow hw doesn't seem all that important to me.... what my parents say... they can go fuck themselves..cuz the ydont know what im goin thru rite now.. and even worse what HE'S going through rite now... no one understands... they dont know how hard it is to know that i mite not get to be with him for 2 years.... im really scared...cuz yea he says he's never gonna forget bout me and that he loves me and only me..but ... i mean after a while of not seeing each other things are bound to change ... he's bound to find someone new... and bound to stop feeling for me.... but anyways... on to why last nite was so incredible... i got to go out with colin .. he got his friend's mom to pick me up ... we got something to eat and ... we took a walk ... it was so nice... he got his hair cut.. he looks so great... i swear sometimes i just look at him and im like wow ... im so fucking lucky.... i spent the whole nite just staring at his face and hoping to god that the moment wouldn't end... cuz honnestly i have no idea when the next time i mite get to see him will be ... we sat down by this house that was under construction and just like held each other and kissed... it was so wonderful... i missed him so much... he's all i think about ... and i worry about him so much ... but last nite was ... just ... magical. i mean there's no other way to describe it .. it was the best time i have had in god knows how long ... and eventhough we didnt do much.. it was all the better because i was with him ... i really hope that we make it through this ... cuz i can't see myself ever getting over him if it didn't work out ... now moving on to why i got hell when i got home... i ended up getting home at like 11 45 cuz his friend's mom couldn't pick me up till late... and the last like hour or so of our nite sucked because i had called my mom at like 10 and i knew how pissed off she was.. so the rest of the nite i was just really worried..cuz i knew what waited for me once i got home ... but it was still really nice.. i rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me ... he's so amazing... its funny to me how he doesn't realize how incredible he is .. and how he swears that HE'S the lucky one ... but anyway once i got home ... i was rite... all hell broke loose... but honestly at that moment i could care less ... well here's how the punishment worked out: im not allowed to go out... for an indefinite period of time, my phone time has gone back to being from 4-6 ... and im allowed online until 9. ... but to tell u guys the truth.. none of that phases me ... i dont care that i got grounded, i dont care that my mom is pissed... i mean i do care about those things but ... im not sorry that i went out ... cuz i needed that ... after a week that just went downhill nonstop... one nite of fun with my baby was exactly the remedy i needed and desired. i can't say that im happy cuz ..well i dont know when the next time im gonna be able to see him is cuz im grounded... but still.. i got to see him so im happIER. which is more than i can say for myself a lot of the time ...so yea ... life is going alrite... and i guess all i can do now ... is hope.

tonite's song: goodbye, goodnight by mae
"do you miss me where you are?" ^^

MUAH!
aww lookie it's me and my baby! tank ya donna bonana! u kick major bootay!




--donna update...

got bored and took some quizzes :-\

I AM 34% ASSHOLE/BITCH! I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me. Take the ASSHOLE/BITCH test at Fuali.com

How people rate you by misssmanson
name
face: 69%
body: 79%
clothes: 58%
personality: 89%
madness: 59%
ambitions: 75%
in bed: 97%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

haha notice the "in bed" category haha :P


Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)
brought to you by Quizilla

What is your emo band name? by spiralinghalo
Your band name is:	The Lifetime of a Star
You sound like:	The Reunion Show
You will be signed to:	Dreamworks Records
Your emo lyrics are:	"I miss the way you used to know who I was"
Name:
Quiz created with MemeGen!

You're a Tad Jealous And who can blame you? It's a pretty normal emotion. You tend to keep your jealousy under wraps, except when it matters You have a good nose for telling if your own jealousy is petty or justified But occasionally, you do let your passionate envy get the better of you

Are You Jealous? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

He's a Keeper!

Your guy is a rare find: sweet, kind, and loyal.

And as long as he doesn't have three nippples,

You should seriously consider keeping him a long time



Sometimes a girl can't see a good thing when she's got one

So let me tell you: your guy is a gold medal boyfriend

Just make sure you treat him right in return!




Is He a Keeper? Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

a special song for a special person :D

Piano Song
by Juliana Theory, The

Old friend, i hear you.
i know just how you feel.
i've been in your shoes before,
i've seen your worries,
and i can understand everything you're going through.

(chorus) :
and i believe in you.
your time is coming.
don't give up tonight.
there's a life ahead.
your time is coming.
don't let go tonight,

my friend, i've listened.
things only can improve.
you have all the time in the world.
so keep on fighting,
and never let them say there's anything that you can't do.

(chorus)

i watched as you sat with a cigarette in your hand,
holding a drink in the other,
trying to drown all your pain...

la di da di da di da
la di da di da di da
la di da di da di da
la di da di da di da

(chorus)

don't let go tonight (x2)

old friend, you'll realize, good things are worth the wait.
enjoy the times that you have.
you'll see a new day,
when darkness fades again,
and the sun can rise to shine.

(chorus)

..And just as dawn fell upon the city, as a sheet of brilliance, enveloping the newly-awakened spirits, the sun began to rise and shine with it's luxurious rays..
hi everyone! well long time no talk ... like the title? me like it too.. all me rite there :P ... btw it HASNT been a long time but im so used to startin that way that i can't help but put that hehe .. and well im too f-ing lazy to go back and fix it ... so instead i spend like 30 words worth of typing explaining myself ... but w/e anyways! GUESS WHAT?! IM GOING TO EUROPE THIS SUMMER! im going to france, england, and spain! granted i have to work my ass off to pay for it .. but im more than willing to do that... im so excited man ... a whole other continent... a whole new culture... and colin mite go! if he can get the money by then... im so thrilled ... it's 15 days of no parents... in europe.... that's gonna fucking kick ass man ... let's see what else is going great... well me and colin r closer than ever ... which is ironic considering what happened which none of u know about and wont so dont question it ok? but anyway yea we're closer than ever ... i mean we talk every nite .. if not online then on the phone and just for like hours on end about our childhood and .. memories.. and ppl we care bout .. and stuff going on in our lives.. i dont know it's nice .. i mean the last time i felt this close to someone it was george..cept it wasn't as good as this cuz i actually get to see colin and be with him ... but yea ... he makes me feel so good ... and he's made me realize that sometimes the rules u set up for urself from the beginning r gonna change.. and that's ok for them to change ... so yep things r good wit him ... sunday's our 6 month anniversary .... wow that's like half a year! i can't believe that came and went so quickly .. but then again i feel like i've known him all my life so it's kinda weird ... i find it so strange but so comforting when like he talks bout our life together in the future ... like he'll say stuff like when we get married i wanna ... and im just like aww ... u think bout that? .. but yea it's really cute and i couldn't be happier with my baby... In other good news ... hehe .. the girl that was treasurer for FHS well i just found out she left the school... so i get to run baby! woot woot! u know how kick ass that's gonna look on my NHS application? pretty fucking kick ass if i may say so myself! if i dont get in this year ima be so upset.. first of all cuz well it's my last chance .. i mean i could prolly run senior year but even if i make it ... the inductions aren't till like after sending in applications and what not ... oh yea speaking of college.. im signing up for the ACT and i've decided NOT to take the old sat .. but to rather practice for it by simply taking the psat and then taking the new sat cuz the college counselor told me that most schools rn't gonna even bother and look at the old .. so yea... that's what ima do ... this year's gonna be so hectic for me man ... FHS, treasurer maybe, track, LHS, latin competition, french competition, euro trip, colin, job, latin online, and then keeping track of all my friends and homework and ap classes and shit ... and im gonna have 5 ap exams at the end of this year ... not to mention psat, sat, and act .... agh .. im getting stressed out just thinking about it all hehe ... but oh wellz ... i can work this out i know i can .... woot woot go empowered thaimi! hehe ... okies well i think im done rambling on for now ... hmm okies well talk to everyone later. .. buhz byez ppls :D

tonite's song: she will be loved by maroon 5 .. i prefer the acoustic version though .. it makes the song's lyrics just seem so much more powerful ... gosh i love acoustic versions of songs .. it kinda like takes a song that u used to like but got sick of after hearing it like ten billion times ... and redoes it in a way that introduces u to the song all over again and makes u fall in love with it again ..

::sigh::
Best Of Deceptions
by Dashboard Confessional

I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze in the cool nights
And the cool guys
That you spent them with.
I guess I should have heard of them from you
I guess I should have heard of them from you

Don't you see, don't you see,
That the charade is over?
And all the best deceptions
And the clever cover story awards
Go to you.
So kiss me hard cause this'll be the last time that I let you.

You will be back someday,
And this awkward kiss that tells of other people's
lips
Will be of service
to giving you away.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wished you could
Set things right between us.
I guess I should have heard of that from you
I guess I should have heard of that from you

So don't you see, don't you see,
That the charade is over?
And all the best deceptions
And the clever cover story awards
Go to you.
So kiss me hard cause this'll be the last time that I let you.

You will be back someday,
And this awkward kiss that screams of other people's
lips
Will be of service
to giving you away.
to giving you away.

I'm waiting for blood
To flow to my fingers
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.
Ignoring the phone,
I'd rather say nothing,
I'd rather you never heard my voice.
You're calling too late,
Too late to be gracious.
And you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late,
You're calling too late.

haven't written in a couple of days
well the past couple of days haven't been all that great....one in particular sucked balls... i cried... and got really upset and felt like absolute shit.... but w/e ppl dont seem to care enough to stop themselves from doing something that would hurt me ... but w/e fuck it ... and others.... others should really stop being fucking whores and get some god damn self-respect ... slut .... im not gonna write what this is all about and dont ask me cuz im not telling anyone about it .. i just dont wanna recall it ... but on to happier news. .. well not really happier but w/e. .. im moving ... on october 1st ... we're moving to a bigger house near colin's house ... which is ironic considering he doesn't live there anymore but that's ok cuz it's still pretty close to where he lives now ... oh yea i get my car this weekend.. i can't wait .. if everything goes as planned ill see colin sunday and we'll hang out .. and after that ill get to see him at least like 3 times a week .. or so i hope .... let's see what else... oh yea tomorrow's a track meeting ... that's only gonna take like 5/10 min ... but i told my mom to pick me up at 4 30 ... hehe ... school ends at 2 50 .. the meeting's at 3 ... but colin's gonna stay after school too so we can hang out before i gtg ... so that should be fun .. we're gonna hang out in the library in front of the school cuz apparently if we're on school property we could get arrested for trespassing ... but w/e fuck it ... hmm ... i should really be doing my math hw rite now .. im gonna have a quiz on it tomorrow but ... i've stopped caring... strange..school just started and im already not giving a fuck... well it seems to be working cuz i've taken 2 quizzes so far ... both on which i got 90's ... one for which i didnt study .. and the other for which i didnt even finish reading the book ... but w/e ... that's two a's baby woot woot ... so yea that's all i havve to say ... so im gonna end this journal by saying .... hmm u know what? this is MY journal and this person doesn't even read this so im gonna say w/e the fuck i want to them as if i was speaking to them " i fucking hate you .. and the fact that u r so heartless as to do that to someone else is absolutely dispicable ... ur a slut, a bitch, a sick whore .. and i hope u burn in hell asshole...." ... ok now that that's out of my system .. im ready to be happy go lucky thaimi again ... sorry .. had to just lay that out there cuz it's been eating me alive lately..when i see this person i swear to god i just wnana like hurt her ... im not a malicious person and i've never felt violent impulses like that but ... god.. i despise this girl... and honestly.. if she died...i'd throw a fucking party.... with chips AND dip! .... but yea that's all i have to say ... good nite and may u all rest ur heads in peaceful slumber.

tonite's song: you give love a bad name by atreyu ... bon jovi cover

::sigh::
howdy everyone .. like my new layout? tanky donna bonana ... it's very summery.. which is kinda funny considering summer's almost over ... haha but w/e.. better late than never they always say eh? .. well i've been kinda irritated lately .. can't really say y cuz it's between me and colin but still agh .. i need to stop being jealous and he needs to stop doing stuff i dont like ... anyways... moving on ... i still haven't read the awakening ... im such a procrastinator .. oh well w/e ... me and colin mite go out tomorrow.. i hope so ... OH YEA! I GET MY CAR SATURDAY! WOOT WOOT! IM SO EXCITED! yay! ... hopefully ill get to see him more often .. we're convinced that if we saw each other more often we'd bicker a lot less cuz we're always really light and at ease when we're with each other .. it's nice ... and we always get really irritable when we dont see each other .. haha .. we're like ... women.. on their periods .. when we dont see each other ... lovely comparison i know hehe ... well he's out rite now having some coffee wit friends ... and im here ... i talked to rachael today! i love that girl .. she has the ability to just make me laugh when all is wrong with the world and that is a quality that is hard to come upon these days ... but seriously like i called her after me and colin had talked and i had gotten really upset ... and well i called her and within seconds i was laughing uncontrollably .. over stupid shit too .. hehe .. that's another person i hope to see when i get my car .. i haven't seen her since usf! man i gotta get a job though .. wit all these fun driving excursions i'm planning .. that's a lot of fucking gas hehe ... oh well ill start looking once i get my car ... im so excited .. i really hope this will be the thing that allows me to have more freedom in my life ... *crosses fingers* one can only hope. i watched friends today... that's another thing that always helps me feel better when im upset or angry or near the point of tears for that matter.. i just turn it on ..and next thing u know im reciting lines and laughing my ass off at chandler..or pheobe.. or joey...or..u get the point hehe ... no need to continue :P ... hmm .. ooh i got a pic of me and my baby! ima try and get donna to post it on my journal for me cuz she's my computer-savvy buddy-o ... in other words she's a computer genius and im a computer poophead hehe ... but ya .. ooh i hope i get to see her more too when i get my car .. .gosh i'd be going out wit half of tampa if i had it my way hehe ... let's just hope i keep doing all my hw ... psh oh wellz anyways! ima go and sit in this comp chair .. and stare at the screen and wait for sir colin to drag his tiny little bootay online .. so nite nite everyone and i hope u've enjoyed this entry..seeing as i haven't posted a real one in quite some time. tah tah.

tonite's song: qui a le droit by patrick bruel ... french song many of u wont actually listen to but w/e .. i take french..and it was our song for the week ... and i dig it :)

nada
i love this song... umm..quick update..school's goin pretty good...getting all my hw done on time..things wit colin r better than ever...and yep...everything's good .. hooray! hehe now read this song..it kicks butt


Why Did You Mess With Forever?
by John Mayer


I came by to get my things
Thank you for getting the door
But I don't feel right walking in no more

You think it's cold
I did my crying at home
And I'm numb now,
I'm numb now

Before I'm on my way
I've one more thing to ask,
Was it worth the price you paid
For my never coming back?

Why did you mess with forever?
Ooh...
Such a long time
To be unkind
Why did you mess with forever?

Don't you call me cruel
Cruel is what you're making me do
I stick to my rules
I'm at odds with me now
So stay, go, go ahead and stay

Before I'm on my way
I've one more thing to ask,
Was it worth the price you paid
For my never coming back

Why did you mess with forever?
Ooh...
Such a long time
To be unkind
Why did you mess with forever?

You ask to kiss me once 'goodbye'
But you already did on somebody else's lips
Ooh...

Tell the tiny chemicals
The ones you hold responsible
They lost me
You lost me
Now everything inside me tells me I should run to you
And throw my arms around you
Hold your streaming crying cheek against my own
And tell you nothing's wrong

But a wrong is what you were when you forgot
That we were going on,
We were going on
We were going on

Tell me why did you,
Why did you mess with forever?
Ooh...
What a long time
To be unkind
Why did you mess with forever?

Mmm....yeah

hooray!
well school went alrite..turns out i mite be able to take latin at school after all... and now i get to see my baby everyday at school..which is kick butt... we're going out to the movies today...woot woot! .. we haven't hung out like outside of school in over 2 weeks... ::sniffle:: .. so ya i can't wait... i gotta read the awakening so ima keep this short...yep that's rite i have yet to finish "summer" reading...hehe .. oh well fuck it ... ehhl i gotta do my eyebrows they are yuckadoodly...just thought i'd share :P .... well anywayz i think that's it cuz i have nothing interesting to say rite now..so buhz byez ppls ...

tonite's song: sunshine by lil' flip ... i love that song! i wonder who sings the girl's part though... :/

psh..damn rite!

NOTE: z

No smoking around babaloo181. Thankyou for your co-operation.