A Silly Little Blog for A Silly Little Girl

:: 2004 21 March :: 3.09pm

guess what!!! i went bathing suit shopping and no insecurities and no tears.....its pink plaid.....its sooooooo cute...sicne my family has been arguing non stop for like a month...they have stopped and now my mom and dad feel guilty so we get whatever we want...oh yey...it wont change anything...but tomorrow im going to ai and friday too and maybe wed...i WANT a tan badly...and and and i got an application from old navy because they are hiring so hopfully i get that job...and saturday i get my license...and tuesday i take off my expander...dude my mouth is finally free to do what it does...hehe yey...this week kicks ass...and reminder call nessa...ahh...hehe...oh yea im going to pick up a guy this spring break....i cant go one spring break without picking some one up....last year i picked up some guy i forgot his name...lol....he was cute untill he started smoking...i was like okay nevermind...oh wellz i learned...i rented lord of the rings two...whatever the name of that one is...i love those movies now....they are good..well im out...bye bye peeps...

I want him, and yet I set my boundaries, never to be crossed. My best friend, although a lover he will never be.

With a short story, the one you add to daily, you are the tragic loss. No story book ending for this fairy tale of you. Just the one composed with blood taken from your pen that you hold in your lifeless hand. Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end. Cry for you. Shed tears. Mourn. Wish the end. (Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person, and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is A reminder of what I'll never have I'll never have... I'll never...

So you turned your back on a world that you could never have.
'Cause your heart's been cracked and everyone else's is goin' mad.
But I hear voices, and I see colors. But I wish I felt nothing.
Then it might be easy for me like it is for you.
And I know you believe that you and me don't belong here.
And the worst we could do is keep trying to pretend we care.
I Wish I Felt Nothing - Wallflowers

Nude
I'm sitting here before you
Yet I find myself alone
My heart and soul are bared
My chance with you has flown
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief
Somehow I thought we'd last
I thought in you I'd found
Something that won't crumble
Something that was sound
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief

Do you love me when you put me down?
Is it love that finds my faults?
You say I'm just a little girl
Full of memories and quotes
I'm not sure if I feel pain
Perhaps it's just relief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Crying in disbelief
I'm sitting here bare naked
Exposed
Afraid
Alone

4 comments | Say what??

:: 2004 20 March :: 8.45pm

got bored and searched for cute quotes..
"I've accepted that we can't be, but I've also accepted that you're going to be that one person I carry with me for the rest of my life, the one that is always going to make my heart jump a little and my stomach tie up in knots no matter how happy I am otherwise and no matter how long it's been. The one I will always secretly wish had asked me to the dance even though I am more happy with the guy who did. Do you realize how incredibly difficult it is to accept both those things at once? "

*Somehow, the conversation mentioned your name. And someone asked if I knew u. Looking away, I thought of all the times we had together; sharing, laughter, tears, jokes, and tons more. And then without explanation u were gone. I looked to where they were waiting for an answer, and then said softly. "Once... I thought I did.*

~if after two people break up they stay friends, they're either still in love or never were~

"never give up if you still wanna try, never wipe your tears if you still wanna cry, never settle for the answer if you still wanna know, never say you dont love him if you can't let him go."

:: 2004 20 March :: 8.37pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: goo goo dolls-slide

aww...hehe i can't stop smilin....
babaloo181: hey u
Happypunkjew09: hey
Happypunkjew09: i love you
Happypunkjew09: i was thinking about you all day
babaloo181: aww that was so sweet
babaloo181: i love u too!
babaloo181: muah!
Happypunkjew09: muah
Happypunkjew09: haha
babaloo181: hehe aww...im all retarded now
babaloo181: hehe
Happypunkjew09: i'm about to walk over to tiff's
Happypunkjew09: for poker night
babaloo181: oh that's rite
babaloo181: i forgot bout that
Happypunkjew09: yup
Happypunkjew09: so bye
Happypunkjew09: love you lots
babaloo181: oh ok
babaloo181: buhz byez
Happypunkjew09: i'll write you a card
babaloo181: okie dokie

:: 2004 20 March :: 11.08am

the results of boredom
hahaha i was talkin to nick and we were so bored that we were lookin for diff words that u can get from the word masturbation! hahah funny stuff!

CurseofemotioN: heeee the word button apears inside the word masturbation
babaloo181: haha
CurseofemotioN: so does trauma
babaloo181: that's pretty ufnny
babaloo181: funny*
babaloo181: HAHAHAH
babaloo181: TRAUMA!
CurseofemotioN: and most importantly
CurseofemotioN: burst
babaloo181: HAHAHAHA
CurseofemotioN: lol...
CurseofemotioN: usa
babaloo181: haha
babaloo181: now THAT'S the real american drema!
babaloo181: dream*
CurseofemotioN: mAStUrbation
babaloo181: haha
CurseofemotioN: the biggest single word... in side ... is "astronaut"
babaloo181: haha
CurseofemotioN: transmit is in there... thats kidna ironic
babaloo181: cuz u know......that's the REAL reason y the go up into outer space....to get some alone time
CurseofemotioN: seeing as how its a solo act
babaloo181: haha transmit
CurseofemotioN: lol
CurseofemotioN: Tsunami
babaloo181: HAHAHHAHA!
CurseofemotioN: some of the advertisements where i did this anogram search
CurseofemotioN: Part 0: cool stuff for the name... masturbation
� send them a free ecard

� claim your FREE email account
e.g. masturbation @easypeasy.com [more addresses]

� search Amazon for masturbation

� personalized children's story books with the name masturbation

CurseofemotioN: easypeasy :p
CurseofemotioN: lmao
CurseofemotioN: personalize childrens story books ;p

:: 2004 20 March :: 10.37am
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: leavin' by plain white t's

ooh so much pink!
hehe yep so i got bored last nite and decided to make my journal all different...i went from blue to pink...weird hehe. thanks donna for the bold letters btw! i was gettin all frustrated! grr! hehe well today i was sposed to go to the eye doctor to get my vision checked cuz im purdy sure it's gotten worse...pero my mommy was like oh im busy today let's change it to friday...so ya...goin friday...thursday when we come back i need to buy hamlet....i gotta read before monday....cuz tuesday we have a commentary grr! so ya my aunt and uncle and stuff r comin today....they're gonna come to orlando wit us......we're stayin there from monday to thursday morning. i hope i get a tan! im even thinkin of buyin a bathin suit...i mean i mite look like crap but ehhl fuck it who cares?! im not tryin to hook up wit anyone anywayz....and i want a tan sooo bad! so ya...hehe. my baby's leavin tomorrow at like 4 in the morning for montana...he's gonna go snowboardin....he said he's gonna send me a postcard....which im kidna scared for cuz u know....those dont come in envelopes..and what if he writes like i love you or something....haha oh god my parents! that'll totally ruin my whole "we're just friends" plan. grr! hehe but yea isn't that sweet of him? he doesn't come back till like next weekend....so im not gonna see him all spring break....oh wellz....im sure we'll live somehow..hehe......oh no u guys im sick! i have a cold! and my mommy's tryin to make me take this really yucky medecine pero i dont wanna! i think i got it from andres on the trip....cuz he slept on the floor the first nite and it was cold..so he got like a cough/cold type thing...and i was hangin out wit him the whole entire trip purdy much...so ya i think that's where i got it.....haha colin's like oh no THAT MEANS IMA GET SICK TOO! oh wellz..hehe. but ya...hmm....what else was i gonna tell u guys?...im in the mood to dance.....this morning i was listenin to my radio and yea by usher came on....and omg that song just makes me wanna get my ass up and BOOGIE! haha boogie....how lame. psssst thaimi the 50's called and they want their lingo back! .....haha ok im done i promise...buhz byez

tonite's song: love you better by ll cool j

4 comments | Say what??

:: 2004 20 March :: 9.32am

man last night was such a blast....only bad part not so many hotties from other high schools :-(...oh wellz...i danced from 7:30 to 11 non stop...i didnt sit down once or ate...i only drank water like 3 times i dont know...i had my first slow dance last night...it was nice...i slowed dance with cesar, marcos, i think carlos, and tim...tim is hot but way too cocky....but he pretty cool...i slowed dance with him like 3 times...then when rock music played me and nessa went nuts..we bounced up and down doing our hair thing and playing air guitar...then this really hot guy from another school joined us but he left us before i could ask him for his name...another tear...hehe...this is for jerrica...omg i danced with roger....omg he can dance...i did all my ghetto dancing...booty dancing...haha it sounds so wrong...i got cesar to dance...he is soo funny...i danced with soo many different people..including the people at the top and then jessica, jill, and amy...dude we had a blast....well im going go cause i need to take a shower and sleep a bit and hack into thaimis journal....hehe yey for me......bye bye

-Every now and then, you meet that special person. That special someone and you just click. For no rhyme or reason you just connect and its like nothing else in the world is important to you. You and this person are in your own world and everyone else is revolving around you. It's like every�word they say, you say too. Everything they do, you do too. And everything they feel, you feel too. Almost like there's a part of you inside one another. Then you take that special bond and feed�it, and a deep friendship grows and that's what makes it truly a miracle-

-"When I fall in love it will be forever, or I'll never fall in love. In a restless world like this is, love is ended before it's begun, and too many moonlight kisses seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.�When I give my heart it will be completely, or I'll never give my heart. And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too, is when I fall in love, I'll fall in love with you." Celine Dion

People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elizabeth K�bler-Ross

-"Work as though you don't need the money, dance as though no one's watching, and love�as though you've never been hurt" Heath Ledger

Maybe the past is like
an anchor holding us back.
Maybe you have to let go
of who you were to become
who you will be -Sex & the City --from a friend

19 comments | Say what??

:: 2004 19 March :: 7.55pm

wow..i love it
"And I don't regret the rain, or the nights I felt the pain, or the tears I had to cry some of those times along the way. Every road I had to take, every time my heart would break; it was just something that I had to get through, to get me to you."
- From the Hope Floats soundtrack, "To Get Me To You"

:: 2004 19 March :: 4.21pm

okay..........well me and marcos are on a "break"....what the fuck does that mean....in my book it means we are over but in a nicer way....whatever doesnt bother me....i mean it really does because i do like him but not enough to worry about it....so yea...oh wellz if his terms of a break is just breaking up for a while then going back out.....ummm not here....i just no....dont feel like it....oh wellz then my whole family is against me....my insercurities are taking me over for tonight....like i think im going to look horrible or do something bad.....but im single so i cant do anything too bad.....well im out.....bye

4 comments | Say what??

:: 2004 18 March :: 7.27pm
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: i need you baby...from 10 things i hate bout u...on a cd

I WANNA FUCK U LIKE AN ANIMAL!
yo wattup! hehe i felt like bein all ghetto...well today was a purdy good day. everything's all good wit colin so that makes me happy :) ... he tasted chocolatey today..i was like yummo....hehe. well i went to latin practice today so no lunch....but it's ok cuz practice was purdy fun. im goin tomorrow again....which i shouldn't have planned cuz damn last day till spring break.....OMG U KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?! well i missed the fucking bus! ok well after i said buhz byez to colin i went to go look for the bus where it normally is buti twasn't there...s o i was gonna go look on the other side but then i saw this kid that rides my bus and he was like oh dont bother i just came from there and it's not there..so ya it was liek a big group of like 10 of us....and then like 5 min later the dumbass kid goes....ooops wait...i never actually checked the first two buses.......GRRRR! so when we start runnin back to the buses...they started revvin their engines and yep...drove off. so ya i went and talked to the principal and he didnt give a fuck....so w/e needless to say i had to call my house...i was lucky as hell my step dad hadn't gone to work yet cuz otherwise i woulda had to wait for my mom at school till 6! haha and while i was waitin for my step dad to get there some religious group ppls were waitin out front and this guy comes up to me and goes "can i hear u say thank you jesus?!" and im like.......excuse me? and he goes " CAN I HEAR U SAY THAAAAAAAAANK YOU JEEEEESUS!" ....haha iwas like umm....thanks jesus....hehe and he made me repeat this huuuuuge speech after him..i was like oh lordy....but i finally managed to get away from him when he finished...haha and then when my step dad got there..i went to go to the car...and the guy started followin me again and askin me to fuckin thank jesus! i was like omg LEAVE ME ALONE! hehe it was scary.....i hate those freaking religious extremists tryin to convert everyone...sit yo ass down bitches! hehe.....im in a ghetto mood what can i say.....hehe alritey wellz ima go bye bye.....adios

tonite's song: little moments by brad paisley

3 comments | Say what??

:: 2004 18 March :: 4.08pm

gah.....

What Happened To Us?
by Hoobastank
I thought it was too good to be true
I found somebody who understands me
Someone who would help me to get through
And fill an emptiness I had inside me
But you kept inside and I just denied
Some things that we should have both said
I knew it was too good to be true
Cause I'm the only one who understands me

What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I loose my only?

Remember they thought we were too young
To really know what it takes to make it
But we had survived off what we have done
So we could show them all that they're mistaken
But who could have known
The lies that would grow
Until we could see right through them
Remember they knew we were too young
We still don't know what it takes to make it

What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I loose my only one?

We could've made it work
We could've found a way
We should've done our best to see another day
But we kept it all inside until it was too late
And now we're both alone
The consequence we pay for throwing it all away
For throwing it all away

What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I loose my only?

What happened to us?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?

Quizes...been awhile...
Alone

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)

What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Funeral For A Friend

Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

moon

You are a moon shadow. With the moon as your source
you are a being of great mystery. Constantly
drifting, you descend into darkness to conceal
your brokenness. You have come to believe that
you are the only one you can rely upon for
constancy and safety that you need. But those
who know how to see you find enchanting beauty
in your wistfulness and fragility. It is to
them that you should flee, for their arms are
an open haven where your true light can finally
thrive..

What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 2004 17 March :: 8.57pm

i love my damn new layout.....its soooo cute......man they are hot......whosh.....friday military ball.....so great......i get to dance from 7-11.....oh score monkey for me.....im excited as hell......

Juneau
by Funeral For A Friend
Tied to the testing of wills, when my heart breaks and spills
Left to the sight of the sky, in your arms I'm defined
Thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
(minds of your enemies)
And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness

Well if this is what I'm meant for, no longer interesting
Fall forward to even the score, just a thought to you

Tied to the testing of wills, when my heart breaks and spills
Left to the sight of the sky, in your arms I'm defined
We're thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
(minds of your enemies)
And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness

And I'm nothing more than a line in your book
yeah I'm nothin more within a line in your book
yeah I'm nothin more than a line in your book (x2)

Well if this is what I'm meant for, no longer interesting
Fall forward to even the score
Just a thought to you
(just a thought to you)x2

Yeah I'm nothin more, yeah I'm nothin more than a line in your book
Yeah I'm nothin more than a line in your book

:: 2004 17 March :: 3.42pm
:: Mood: melancholy
:: Music: tv

hahah peter=cesar's penis
EnigmaticJester9: i met your mother
EnigmaticJester9: at a weird bar
EnigmaticJester9: o.0
babaloo181: hahah
babaloo181: I MET PETER AT A WEIRD BAR!
babaloo181: :-P
EnigmaticJester9: peter?
EnigmaticJester9: at a bar?
EnigmaticJester9: *gasp*
babaloo181: haha
EnigmaticJester9: ::scolds peter::
babaloo181: HAHA
babaloo181: hmm....how did peter manage to get there without u?
EnigmaticJester9: dont ask me :-P
babaloo181: maybe he got u drunk and had his way wit u
babaloo181: AND ME!
babaloo181: haha
EnigmaticJester9: lol
EnigmaticJester9: really ;-)
babaloo181: haha
EnigmaticJester9: poor peter
babaloo181: HAHA
babaloo181: poor thaimi!
EnigmaticJester9: YOU MOLESTED MY PENIS!
EnigmaticJester9: peter's just a little boy
EnigmaticJester9: leave him alone!
EnigmaticJester9: CHILD MOLESTER!
babaloo181: HAHAHA THAT'S GOIN ON MY JOURNAL!
EnigmaticJester9: LOL

:: 2004 17 March :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: better..i guess
:: Music: nothing still

update..
Happypunkjew09: hey
Happypunkjew09: what was wrong today?
babaloo181: eh..nothing...stupid crap...jealous i guess
Happypunkjew09: im not doing anything with her if that's what you were wondering
babaloo181: no i know but...i dunno i just felt bad
Happypunkjew09: i'm sorry
babaloo181: no u didnt do anything...ill get over it :-\
Happypunkjew09: i know, but i made you feel that way
babaloo181: its ok
babaloo181: dont worry bout it
Happypunkjew09: allright
Happypunkjew09: it's just it makes me feel bad if you feel jealous
babaloo181: i know...but i can't help it....
babaloo181: :-\
Happypunkjew09: mk
Happypunkjew09: well, you're my sunshine
babaloo181: hehe
babaloo181: and ur mine
babaloo181: :-D
Happypunkjew09: :-D
Happypunkjew09: my smile's bigger
babaloo181: :-D
babaloo181: i win
Happypunkjew09: crap
Happypunkjew09: lol
babaloo181: hehe
Happypunkjew09: hey, i'm a gunna sign off cuz i have to eat and joeys' bound to be here anyminute
Happypunkjew09: by lahv
babaloo181: okies
babaloo181: buhz byez
Happypunkjew09: i love you
babaloo181: love u too

:: 2004 17 March :: 2.03pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: nothing...listening to my grandma bitch at me

.....day went alrite i guess
well....it started off alrite....but then...i had to turn in my group stuff to the ppls in my group for euro history...and turns out i left it all at home so i had to write it all up throughout the day....took me forever but i got it done. ...today in the afternoon...we had our "lunch"...and after like 5 min of bein at lunch..this girl came up to colin and was like "oh erica needs to talk to u"......btw erica is his ex girlfriend. so i was just like w/e...it kind of made me uncomfortable but i was like big deal thaimi get over it....so ya 2 min later he leaves me and goes and talks to her....and they like go into this lil corner and start talkin and rite there....i just started feeling like crap. i would look over and they were like talking...and it was killing me. so i just went got some water and put my head down on the table. apparently throughout the convo they pointed at me.....*that's what shilpa told me* and then..at the end she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. that just pissed me the fuck off. u know? it's like u h ad ur chance wit him and shit didn't work out ... dont try to steal him from me now. it's just fucked up. so ya w/e he was there talkin to her for like 15 min..half our freakin lunch...so he finally comes over to me....and just like sits down and puts his arm around me like if nothing. i mean im not saying he did anything...cuz i dont think he's like that...but it just....agh...it just made me feel like he would rather be wit her....he was like...what's wrong? and i was like nothing...but ya im like at the point of tears rite now.....and it's the stupidest shit in the world. funny thing is....he's freaking clueless.....he has no idea that im even .... upset. and to top it all off....as soon as i get home my grandma starts bitching at me for something i did that morning..and starts telling me how fucking worthless i am and how my little sister is so much better than me..and im just like god im not in the fucking mood for u so shut the fuck up. agh...bye