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2003 23 November :: 5.32 pm
:: Mood: like a big pile of ...
:: Music: none
life
Well i'm home, it was a pretty good weekend had some fun but i still can't stop thinkin about her, i know i know why don't you just get over it you big baby beieve me i know i should but i just can't. I'm glad we are still friends thoughit just sux being in love with some you can't have. I remember in the beggining promising not to fall in love but i did and it was complete bliss while it lasted, but now a week after its over shes still all i can think about and the all the memories of when we were together you think would make me happy but they don't because i know i can't have that anymore it just hurts more than anything but i know i can get threw i don't know how long i'll be a whiny sack of crap but i know i will get threw eventually. Everytime i see couple or here a love song i get sick to my stomech and have to blink back all the tears. I'm also really worried about cherie i don't know whats wrong but i know somethin is, shes a great christian, a great friend, and just a great over all person she deserves to be happy. Alot of people think coreys just a jerk but hes not he just has fun with stuff the bottom line is he is a good person who cares even if it doesn't seem like it, hes been there for me just like cherie has only in his own way he makes me laugh and trys to take my mind off stuff and doesn't act like i'm the greatest person in the world just because i'm goin threw somethin so for everyone who may think he is a jerk your wrong. There are many more people who are there for me too like kate and stacey but i runnin out of time so i'm gonna go. I love you all very much and i'm glad i have friends like you.
2 liars |
I don't care but... |
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2003 20 November :: 7.23 pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: none
life
I ended up taking a test cuz i got bored. This is kind a wierd.
Your soul is bound to the White Rose: The Pure. "I've been waiting in the dark for a long time, shining my beacon of hope through the shadow. If you see me, don't you hide your eyes from me." The White Rose is associated with purity, honor, and chastity. It is governed by the goddess Artemis and its sign is The Cross, or Agape. As a White Rose, you are a person of your word. You may have a strong moral code, but regardless of your virtue, you always stay true to yourself. To you, love is the most pure of emotional forms and it's just a matter of waiting for it to bless you. Some people may say you are too idealistic, but it's only because you don't want to mess things up.
for anyone who doesn't know me i'm not gay
2 liars |
I don't care but... |
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2003 19 November :: 5.30 pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: none
life
Today i felt a little better, just keep acting like i'm people think i'm fine i must be fine. I just keep telling myself i'm the luckiest guy around it even lasted that long, so i know i will be ok eventually just getting along tryin to get back to normal wich i'm not sure is a good idea because i've never been anywere in the vasinity of normal. I'm really lucky with all the friends i have that care about me, i feel like an asshole because of somethin i thought about cherie someone who has always been there for me and then i go and have a second thought about trusting her not to say somethin to someone else, i'm pretty stupid. I love you guys
ben
1 liar |
I don't care but... |
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2003 18 November :: 7.38 am
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: none
analogies for life
Life is like a midget hooker
it sucks alot
Life is like playin king of the hill
as soon as your on top someone pushes you down
Life is like Michigan state
it sux and its full of losers
Life is like mashed potatoes
you have to take the good stuff with the lumps
Life is like a football game
its fun as heck but it hurts
Life is like a torture chamber
its pretty much self explainatory
Life is like a box of chocolates
you never know what your gonna get
Life is like a war
its full of pain but eventually it will be over and you can go home
well thats all i can think of and thank you mister gump for yours noone sees it enough so i thought i'de throw that in
I don't care but... |
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2003 17 November :: 3.23 pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: none
life
Well it feels better bein around my friends today they really cheered me up but i still can't stop thinking about her. All i can really say is i love them all. Cherie if you read this, if she asks tell her i'm fine she already has enough to deal with she doesn't need to feel bad for me on top of it. You need to stop worrying about me too.
love you all
ben
4 liars |
I don't care but... |
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2003 16 November :: 11.40 am
:: Mood: hurt
:: Music: none
life
I've been awake crying sence it happened thinking. I'm not sure what to do next all i know is i have to suck it up and try to move on. No matter how much i love her it won't bring us back together unless i'm what she wants, but i'm not. I'm lucky i have friends that care about me, although i know one of my closest friends knew about it because she's megans best friend but thats ok. I'm not saying that i'm mad at her i'm just sayin i can't talk to her about any of this without it getting back to megan. I just don't want her feeling bad about this, she had every right to do it. Its all just a part of life pain and love go hand in hand.
love you all
ben
4 liars |
I don't care but... |
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2003 15 November :: 10.20 pm
:: Mood: Hurt
:: Music: none
life
Well this is my first time on this so i don't know what i'm doin. Today life kicked me in the balls and took away everything, but as much as it hurts now i know that it will get better. When she dumped me i don't really know what hurt more losing someone i love or the fact that she must not have loved me as much as she said she did. I know some dillhole is gonna tell me to quit bein a baby or somethin but i don't really care about the opinion of some stranger, as a matter of fact i can't think of anything i really care about. Well thats all i really have to say for now buhbye.
3 liars |
I don't care but... |
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