mudpiegrl
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2005 23 May :: 7.18pm
so prom was awesome. the day after was as well. my calves hurt like hell, like i cant walk right, its ridiculous.
If i knew how to put pictures up i would. the nosegay he got was soooo prettyful!
my ditch dya was awesomely relaxing. yay for incredibles!
i want to know if kristen completed her misson today...;D?!?
btw, kristen, am soo sry for getting you in trouble today.
my mum's on another bitch attack.
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mudpiegrl
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2005 20 May :: 1.48am
:: Mood: tired
due to shows and having a life, i havent updated in a whole three days or so.
Note one: be like mulan; make decisions on your own and make them quickly when needed.
note two: stay away from shonsky if you're going to explode.
note three: it's incredible how stuck up people can be
note four: ignore all boy intrests. it will only get you in trouble.
note five: good job on not screwing all your lights up.
note six: go to bed so that
note seven: you can have fun at prom with mike.
btw i got a dress. it's black with three pink bow stripes at the top. eep...pink, drapery, bows?!?
okie sweet dreams all g'night.
DULCE ET DECORUM EST
Wilfred Owen
Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.
Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! —An Ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime…
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, —
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori. (to die for the country is sweet and proper)
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mudpiegrl
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2005 15 May :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: relieved
:: Music: "pocahantas"
so the show's over. it doesnt feel like it. nothing feels. just tired and anticipation. that's all i got.
patrice you need to help me with my essay. :)
cresants are yummy.
"with all you got in ya boys, dig up virginia boys!"
chuck e. cheese sucked and apparently, janet's been treating us like crap because she got six complaints about how she was treating us from customers. and keith didnt show up one day becasue of how she's treating him. i wouldnt know; i work two days a week and for one of them, i spend the day locked in a room and dont talk to her. something with which am fine, but regardless. anyway, some people called corporate on her, i dont knwo what's happening with that...
let's see...oh mike gave me gummi bears after the show. it was soo sweet but i felt bad for not hugging him or anything but i dont think i'd feel comfortable. but then i did note the look on his and ryans and patrices faces and it made me feel really bad. so that's been like hte major thing on my mind.
i keep getting myself into exactly the same situations. before it was q>jorie>jeff, now, unsurely, more of a crap its turning into, mike>jorie>justin.
i dont want it like that i want to just like mike but i dont know him.
i feel so....stupid for continuing on about this because its something that i feel like i should have on my mind but i dont really care about. am anticipating the end of this year and turning in projects and stuff, but it might be to subconciously distract myself. i dont know
i feel really badly for kristen and stunkel. really, a very long story, and no they arent breaking up or anything. they have their own seperate entities (patrice, your word). but i feel bad for them and thats the point. but no pity for them.
i still need a dress for prom and its a week away but there's orchesis everyday until friday so no go there...unless iget it on friday. oh i think ill be so upset if i wear the purple quincenera dress...i was so excited for a pretty new dress just because tehy make me feel pretty, which will be especailly good next week after this one i hardly took care of myself. patrice, if we actually take our little vacation, it will be heaven.
okie...i think ive worded myself out. sweet dreams of gummi bears and chocolate kisses (hehe, trix). g'night.
"This is how we say hello: win-ga-po. and how we say goodbye: ah-na."
"I like hello better."
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mudpiegrl
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2005 13 May :: 8.41am
so the show went pretty well last night, at least from the audience. it doesnt feel like show week at all, but maybe that's because i've lost all idea of time, as the kids i drive in the morning could probably vouch for. i finally finished my frickin psych project, and now i get a latin project due the day before prom and the one after orchesis. that sucks.
im tired cuz i didnt go to bed until five and i feel dirty cuz i woke up at 7:19, a minute before i had to leave, and didnt get to take a shower and it would have been nice to eat.
i should be cutting foamboard for architechtural drawing and im going to have to start working on my set for theatre tech; that's a lot of foam.
so apparently, this is our last show. i dont feel it, but maybe that's becuase in my head, it still isnt show week...
alright time to clean up foam balls.
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Aaron
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2005 9 May :: 10.39pm
:: Music: Terrible lie, NIN
Someone
why are you doing this to me?
am i not living up to what i'm supposed to be?
why am i seething with this animosity?
hey God, i think you owe me a great big apology
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
i really don't know what you mean
seems like salvation comes only in our dreams
i feel my hatred grow all the more extreme
hey God, can this world really be as sad as it fucking seems
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
don't tear it away from me
i need you to hold on to
don't tear it away from me
i need someone to hold on to
don't tear it away from me
i need you to hold on to
please don't tear it away from me
i need someone to hold on to
don't tear it away from me
i need you to hold on to
don't tear it away from me
i need someone to hold
on to me
hold on to me
don't tear it
please don't tear it
please don't take it
don't take it
don't
there's nothing left for me to hide
i lost my ignorance, security and pride
i'm all alone in this fucking world you must despise
hey God, i believed your promises, your promises and lies
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
terrible lie
(terrible lie)
you made me throw it all away
my morals left to decay (terrible lie)
how many you betray
you've taken everything (terrible lie)
my head is filled with disease
my skin is begging you please (terrible lie)
i'm on my hands and knees
i want so much to believe
i want so much to believe
you fucking promised me
you promised
you promised me
yes you did
you promised me
you fucking promised me
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aaron
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2005 7 May :: 9.07pm
:: Music: Wish, NIN
Charred epiphany
"Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself!!!" He smacked me. I began to cry...not because I was scared...not because it hurt...because I had another epiphany...This life...my life...Is no more than a scar on the face of the earth. Why not erase it?
"Then I come to find, everything's OK. I've seen this all before, and that was yesterday..."
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mudpiegrl
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2005 7 May :: 5.27pm
I am not resentful.
I do not regret.
I am not be impatient.
I have no frustration.
I feel no dissappointment.
I do not have stress.
I cannot feel emotions.
I do not feel worthless.
I am not dreading work.
I am not annoyed.
I am not dreadful.
I'm boosting morale...
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mudpiegrl
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2005 4 May :: 11.42pm
:: Mood: apathetic
50 Questions- I'm just like all the others. i did this backwards, it was fun.
1. What is your name? i have no name.
2. What color underwear are you wearing now? red. it was green stripes earlier
3. What are you listening to right now? craig something, english guy, late late show
4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? 46, or 14 if im home.
5. What was the last thing you ate? um i think it was a peach from my frozen fruit bag beside me
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? just not pink. maybe orange
7. How is the weather right now? good question. it probably changed since 10:30
8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? i dont knw...that was so long ago.
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?Their body shape. i seem to be very attracted to skinny guys. very skinny guys.
10. Favorite Food? avocado and mango
11. Favorite Drink? Milk
12. Favorite Alcoholic Drink? ive tasted alcoholic stuff...i hate the taste of alcohol...ask my family they think im funny cuz i dont like it.
13. Favorite place to shop? world market.
14. Hair color: strawberry blonde
15. Eye Color: green
16. Do you wear contacts? nope 20/20
17. Top or Bottom? pants are nice...but if i had to walk around in a t-shirt and underwear or bra and pants, id pick the t-shirt and underwear cuz my shirt would probably be long enough.
18. Favorite Month? December makes me happy. though, the freedom of the summer is sweet too.
19. Favorite Fast Food? Rammy's!
20. Last Movie you Watched? good question. probably zim...does that count? oh kissing jessica stien? is that he title? i dont know it was on tv and i watched half of it....wasnt what i thought from the title.
21. Favorite Day of the Year? lol sandy said the last day of school. i say the first cuz it feels so fresh, like melon that's been in the fridge.
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out? no
23. Summer or Winter? i love snow and i love sun. i lvoe being outside so either is just fine with me. people think snow sucks, but its sooo pretty and you can read outside in the summer, not to mention you can roll the windows down
24. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs
25. Chocolate or Vanilla? depends. every so often vanilla just tastes better, like not as heavy...even though it usually is just as much
26. Do you want your friends to respond back? doestn matter
27. Who is most likely to respond? You. if you get through it, you're likely to respond.
28. Who is least likely to respond? Everyone.
29. What books are you reading? A Great and Terrible Beauty and The Divinci Code.
30. Favorite TV Show? INVADER ZIM, closely followed by Tru calling, but i like the simpsons too. and any animal channel or oh i love when they do surgeries cuz you usually dont get to see taht stuff.
31. What's on your mouse pad? um...theres no pad at either comp. here, its a lap top...soo finger oil is on the mouse...upstairs is laser!
32. Favorite board game? Trivial Pursuit! no one likes playing it though. i also like LIFE.
33. What did you do last night? Crew. read susies story. slept.
34. Favorite Author? I dont know. one that writes. i found i actually really like E.L. Doctorow, and i know for sure i like J.K. Rowling. um... tamora pierce was entertaining for a while but im more into learning right now than fiction.
35. Who inspires you? everyone. everyone has some amazing quality, some have more than one!
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? omg i love all of them. not carmel so much, but butter at the movie theatre, plain if i make it myself, and just salted at a campfire. mmm
37. Dogs or cats? Dogs
38. Favorite Flower? i dont know. i like two colour flowers. i only like real flowers though. painted or floral patterns bother me cuz nothing does them justice.
39. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M.? usually fuck cuz i realise i dont have enough time to take a shower or even to get to everyone and not be late.
40. Do you still talk to your best friends from middle school? no and im glad i dont. they're bad.
41. What's on your desk? five candles in a dish with some glass beads, april's dog fancy magazine, frozen fruit, a purple ribbon, a black pen, and a blue retractable dog leash. but the table looks clean...
42. Rock Concert or symphony? rock if im not on the floor getting smothered. symphony id go for anytime though.
43. Play or Opera? Dancing. i like watching dancing. ive never been to an opera, although, i want to see carmen so badly. play if its nto hs play...::snore:: *or* this sucks, that sucks, face your damn platforms and tape your stupid seams!!
44. Have you ever fired a gun? Sandy Kim "Nope. Wait....does a water gun count?" hehe. yea once at a carnival. at a piece of paper that i missed. oh and matts little guns with plastic pellets
45. Do you like to travel by plane? i love watching the ground get small and all the little cars...when it snows and you're landing its really cool too...oh...so yes.
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right, although ambidexterous would rock.
47. Smooth or Chunky Peanut Butter? stupid you sandy kim and your JIF reference. chunky...i feel safer like its not fake peanuts.
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? one right now, sometimes i switch
49. City and State you were born in? Fon du Lac, WI
50. Ever hitchhiked? No
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mudpiegrl
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2005 4 May :: 11.04pm
have you ever began to hate yourself so much that you wished you could sabatoge yourself? maybe people wouldnt dislike you so...maybe, if everything was wrong, then one thing right would feel so much better...
but then someone points it out. and the fact that it's unavoidable is not the painful thing. its the truth of it and you know you're wrong, but you cant do anything about it now.
so then you feel more like shit. and when that happens, the sabotaging instinct comes back.
::woosh::
but you'd miss out on so much pride.
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mudpiegrl
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2005 3 May :: 11.40pm
DAILYVirgo - August 23 - September 22
You're still quite focused on your sweetheart, and the feeling is mutual. Have dinner out, and don't be afraid to talk about the future. You won't be the only person at that candlelit table who's been thinking in terms of permanence.
WEEKLYVirgo - August 23 - September 22
Love's never perfect, despite you fervently wishing it would be so -- and trying with all your might to make it that way. Go easy on your efforts at the beginning of the week; you don't want to make anyone dear to you feel inadequate, and that includes yourself! Wednesday brings high spirits -- you're up for challenging the universe to give you exactly what you want. What a brilliant approach! By the weekend, someone compatible makes you question your expectations and deepen your definition of love. It's a good thing!
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mudpiegrl
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2005 30 April :: 5.57pm
ugh am sooo frustrated it feels like am doing everything wrong
i cant even begin to describe it
so ama go read or something...maybe work on my story which is really horrible rihgt now...
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mudpiegrl
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2005 30 April :: 5.53pm
i cant drive anymore.
i never paid the fee.
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mudpiegrl
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2005 29 April :: 11.34pm
i just ate...but i opened the fridge and guess what i found!!!!!
RAGOONS!!!!!!
woo! patrice likes ragoons toO!
we went to the libertyville play and the set was just horrible...the platforms had holes and no facing and the walls werent decorated and seams werent taped and sound was too loud and wood grain failed and the tables were wrapped in tin foil....-_-
am only so disappointed because i know kevin holly can do better than this....
oh well...ragoons.....::mm::
okie i guess thats it...
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mudpiegrl
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2005 28 April :: 10.14pm
so that crappy feeling's still there...
i feel bad for stunkel. not cuz he does stupid stuff, cuz thats obvious...but because he's trapped in a mindset taht everyone should laugh at life and still a child. his intentions are good, no matter how much anyone tries to argue with me, and i feel bad that they arent always taken the way he wishes. he's like anyone of us, where he doesnt want to be a disappointment to himself, his family, or his friends. He's not like us where he'll go very far to make someone laugh, and soemtimes doesnt think of the consequences. point blank, no one should ever hate stunkel, no matter how mad they get at him.
yes...erm...lol a stunkel entry.
id write more but i think its something that's going to be a private entry because am just going to get yelled at for it.
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mudpiegrl
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2005 28 April :: 12.45am
is there anyone that wants to run with me everyday. the thing is, you gotta keep me on it and want to go yourself...
heh, a want ad...
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