blacktears844
|
::
2004 8 January :: 4.23pm
"I'm Eighteen"- Alice Cooper
Lines form on my face and hands lines form from the ups and downs
I'm in the middle without any plans I'm a boy and I'm a man
I'm eighteen and I don't know what I want eighteen I just don't know what I want
Eighteen I gotta get away I gotta get out of this place I'll go runnin' in outer space oh yeah
I got a baby's brain and an old man's heart took eighteen years to get this far
Don't always know what I'm talkin' about feels like I'm livin' in the middle of doubt
'cause I'm eighteen I get confused every day eighteen I just don't know what to say eighteen I gotta get away
Whoa lines form on my face and my hands lines form on the left and right
I'm in the middle the middle of life I'm a boy and I'm a man
I'm eighteen and I like it yes I like it oh I like it love it like it love it
Eighteen eighteen eighteen eighteen and I like it
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 8 January :: 3.52pm
You're a natural born trouble-maker. You hate
authority and do everything you can to get
around the law, or in some cases, break it.
Naturally stubborn, you hardly ever sway once a
decision is made. Your nature is fiery and
courageous, and always out-going. You love
attention and usually have kinky fetishes
you're not afraid to explore. People either
love you or hate you.
What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla
2 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 8 January :: 3.44pm
:: Mood: hopeful
Well, today was pretty good. I just made a semi-deal with my mother that if I got straight A's on my next report card, that I could get my lip pierced. WOOT. She said, "we'll see", but that usually means yes unless she finds out that it's life-threatening or something. I am either going to get my lip pierced or my eyebrow. She said that I'd look cute with a little stud in my nose....but no thanks. Nose piercings are sopposed to hurt like hell. Not that any piercing is going to feel good, but my friend got her lip and nose pierced and said the nose hurt worse. Plus I think the lip looks better. Well, my dad's wasn't so bad yesterday. He bought me an Alice Cooper CD. I am going over there again today as well. I think we're going to the store and then out to eat or something. Fun stuff.
5 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 7 January :: 3.54pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Murderdolls of course
Well, I'm having a better day. I'm sorry to say that some people aren't though. :( I have to go to my dad's today. Then to eat at my grandma's. School was okay, I guess. There's not too much to write about now. Life is boring.......not depressing, not happy....just neutral. I think that's worse than either extremes. Arg...
3 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 7 January :: 7.03am
I had this paper thingy I needed for today in my pants pocket, and I thought I took it out last night....but I don't know where the fuck it is. So I'm like, "Okay, maybe I DIDN'T take it out, and it's still in my pants." So I go to the hamper, and it's empty. My mom had washed clothes. So I go in my mom's room, and ask her if she's washed my pants. She said yes, and that she thinks she took everything out of the pockets, but she's not sure, and whatever was in them was on the dryer downstairs. So I venture into my deep, dark basement, fumble about for lights, search on top of my dryer. No paper. So I check in my already-washed pants just in case. No paper. So I got back upstairs, search my computer desk...search my room again...search the bathroom....WHERE IS MY FUCKING PAPER. It's always the times that I lose my homework papers that my teacher gives a detention to whoever doesn't have theirs. Joy. If I get another detention I am going to be in so much shit. I BETTER find that fucking paper. Or at least go home sick or something. GRRRR.....
1 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 6 January :: 6.47pm
:: Mood: depressed
Zero - Smashing Pumpkins
My reflection, dirty mirror
There's no connection to myself
I'm your lover, I'm your zero
I'm in the face of your dreams of glass
So save your prayers
For when we're really gonna need'em
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride?
She's the one for me
She's all I really need
Cause she's the one for me
Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me
Intoxicated with the madness, I'm in love with my sadness
Bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms
The fasion victims chew their charcoal teeth
I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down
You blame yourself, for what you can't ignore
You blame yourself for wanting more
She's the one for me
She's all I really need
She's the one for me
She's my one and only
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 6 January :: 6.44pm
:: Mood: depressed
Miss World - Hole
I am the girl you know, can't look you in the eye. I am the girl you know, so sick I cannot try. I am the one you want, can't look you in the eye. I am the girl you know, I lie and lie and lie. I'm Miss World, somebody kill me. Kill me pills. No-one cares my friends. My friend. I'm Miss World, watch me break and watch me burn. No-one is listening, my friend. I've made my bed I'll lie in it. I've made my bed I'll die in it. I've made my bed I'll lie in it. I've made my bed I'll die in it. Kill girls watch when I eat ether. Suck me under. Maybe forever, my friend. Now I've made my bed I'll lie in it. I've made my bed I'll die in it. I've made my bed I'll cry in it. I've made my bed I'll lie in it my friend. I am the girl you know, can't look you in the eye......
1 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 6 January :: 5.24pm
I have been having this terrible deja vu all day...like I was reliving my childhood or something. I dont know....when it gets a certain kind of weather outside..kind of gloomy, still light, but no sun...I get this terrible deja vu like I am still young and sitting in my room listening to all this music and stuff and it's nuts. I'm not making any sense. It's a really strange feeling. I just feel so...so dead today...like I'm living in some sort of a hallucination or something. I don't know....I've been having some strange feelings today.
I wish I wasn't so jealous and in need of attention so much. Sometimes I wish that everyone would just leave me alone....and now I am in need of such constant attention. Oh well. I guess this is "growing up". Or at least that's what my mom tells me when I try to tell her these things.
1 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 6 January :: 4.28pm
For further notice: This is not meant to offend any of you real goths out there, or anyone else matter. I created this because I was extremely bored,with all the "goth" stereotypes in mind. Enjoy.
-=A Day In The Life of......*drama builds up*...a GoFFiK!!111=-
-7:00 AM- Wake up. Hit alarm clock. Even though it goes off, she hits it again for extra effect...because...you know....that's kinda angry....and she's...GoFFiK!
-7:01 AM- Reaches automatically for black eyeliner. Rims around eyes thickly.
-7:02 AM- Scratch butt. Continue with life.
-7:04 AM- Brush teeth. *hides Barbie toothbrush behind back* Oh look....Sharpie. *quickly colors toothbrush black*
-7:07 AM- Gets dressed. *tosses PuNk RaWk PrinCesS shirt under the mattress* Nah, maybe I'll be a puNk next year. Gets vinyl, chains, and other ripped/studded accessories and assemble them on body. Look in mirror. Yes, more eyeliner.
-7:10 AM- Goes down to greet mother. *sigh* She is ruining my life. It's just not fair. *mentally slams door* Gives mother the attitude, she gives me my books. I grab another tube of eyeliner. Rim once again.
-7:12 AM- Get on the bus. Pretend to act angsty and depressed on the way. Get chain caught in bus doors. *sigh* No one understands. *turns up Papa Roach on CD player* I shall sing my pain with Coby. *eyeliner*
-7:30 AM- Arrive at school. Get off bus. Learn that raccoons like to mate at this season and run quickly. Chains get caught in school doors. *sigh* Everyone is ruining my life.
-7:45 AM- Go to first class. Draw "scary" drawings which is nothing more than Mickey Mouse with fangs. Roll up sleeves so everyone can see my slit wrists. Aren't they so GoFFiK??
-8:15 AM- Pass out from malnourishment. (Why are all GoFFiKs waifs, anyway?)
-9:00 AM- Wake up in nurse's office. Find mirror. Applys more eveliner now that the evil horny raccoons are gone.
-2:00 PM- Gym. Sits on the sideliner. Real GoFFs don't do gym anyways. Slits wrists instead. *turns up Coby*
-3:00 PM- Goes home. Mother asks how school was. I scream, "I HATE YOU!" and slam the door. Open the door again and slam once more for extra effect. Repeat as necessary. *slits wrists* *applys more eyeliner*
-6:00 PM- *sneaks out window* Finding she have no friends to meet, she sit in a bush. In the dark. In the GoFFiKness. *sighs, while searches for razorblade* This would be the perfect time to slit wrists.
-6:15 PM- Climbs back up window.
-7:00 PM- Sees a raccoon. Panics. False call, it was only the mirror.
-7:15 PM- Takes bath. Puts red food coloring in the bathwater. Takes pictures of her in it while applying eyeliner for her GoFFiK homepage. *turns up Coby for inspiration*
-8:00 PM- Writes in her :slit wrist: log. We did it three times today. *sighs* She's lacking.
-8:30 PM- Goes to bathroom. Tries to hide "The Life of Britney Spears" magazine under an Anne Rice book. Fails. *sighs* Might as well slit wrists.
-9:00 PM- Goes to sleep, after praying to Satan.................*hugs teddy bear* *sigh* She is so GoFFiK.
God, that fucking sucked. *slits wrists* Remind me never to write stories anymore.
4 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 6 January :: 3.47pm
:: Mood: depressed
School was okay, I guess. The days are going to go back to being boring. Not that they weren't before, but being in school just adds to the effect. I am beginning to feel invisible again. Damn this teenage angst. My so-called "boyfriend" gave me a hug today. I don't see why he even wastes his time with me. There are so many other people that are loads better than me, and lots prettier. He doesn't even talk to me. I don't see why anyone wastes their time with me. I'm feeling useless.
2 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 6 January :: 3.47pm
I am 77% Internet Addict
Whoa, am I ever addicted! I'm probably a little over weight with lots of acne, feeling lost, and alone, trying to escape from my sorry life with an internet life. I must crawl outta the basement, see
Take the Internet Addict Test at fuali.com
1 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 6 January :: 10.24am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Murderdolls
Well, my mom forgot to wake me up this morning for school so I am going to have to go in late....really late. What a shame. *rolls eyes* It's about 10:30 AM....not TOO many classes missed....but enough. I had better go soon. I think I have spent too much time on this computer. I recently took some pics this morning so I shall leave one here for you to see. If you are at the forums, you will have already seen this, hehe.
That's me in my Josie and the Pussycat ears....oh yes, I got them at King's Island a couple years ago and they are mad hot. If I so desire, I can make them light up. ^_^
Anyways, see ya later, love ya all.
3 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 5 January :: 6.35pm
HAHAHAH how amusing. ^_^
1 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 5 January :: 5.19pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: TV
Well, I slept the majority of today. I was up until about 7 this morning, and so I slept til about 4 this afternoon. I need to get out of these bad sleeping habits because I'll probably be going to school tomorrow. I'm feeling alot better, which is good, I guess. My mom and stepdad are going out for this really nice dinner with some of his friends, and I get to stay at home with my uncle while this plumber guy comes over. Another night spent on the computer and watching movies. Joy. My dogs got groomed. They look hilarious. Well, I'm going to get something to eat real quick. Ta-ta.
2 _ |
photograph
|
|
blacktears844
|
::
2004 5 January :: 1.47am
I think my stupid infection has moved its way to the back of my neck. It was like in a big ball on the top of my head this morning...and now the back of my neck fucking aches. So yeah, I won't be going to school tomorrow....as you can see considering it is about 2 in the morning. Arg, I'm so bored. I just got done watching Night of the Living Dead and House of 1000 Corpses. I'm watching way too many movies today. I'm so sick of sitting still that long.
1 _ |
photograph
|
|