goobs827
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2003 3 December :: 4.09pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: have yourself a merry little christmas
I just wrote a really really long private post...i got out a lot...the only thing from it that i really can share with the public is that
I MISS MIAMI SO MUCH i miss every aspect of it...i am so happy there..i love the atmosphere and that *feeling* i have when im there..and 17 days is just way too long.
im gonna go postal soon
and why cant i be more like elise??? she shrugs things off so easily i wish i could be more like that..i used to be more like that..what am i saying..i have no idea who i am...i dont know what i like i dont know anything about myself..im having an identity chrisis
..again im gonna go postal soon
and it doesnt feel like christmas season but it should...that makes me so mad...maybe this friday when my next tradition occurs it will be better.
and i feel like i have no one to share these things with but my woohu--u know how everyone says u tell ure pals anything and everything? well i love and adore my friends but i dont feel like i can tell them or that theyd truly LISTEN to me or understand me, i cant even tell my mom some of these things and she understands me best out of everyone...im so used to listening to everyone else i think my friends forget, i get sad too. but i really dont blame them--im a very private person..i dont wear my heart on my sleeve..i keep things in.
And im so MAD at myself for being in a bad mood i really am so mad. its christmas...what the fuck am i doing being sad? and i really have no reason to me upset..i just--am. i need to stop thinking.
i need some mindless games or television to get me to stop thinking...
haha maybe i can just watch Paris Hilton tonight on the Simple Life....that'd def. be enough
haha ok i feel a little better
wow this turhed out to be longer than my private post!
*CiAo*
2 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 29 November :: 5.43pm
:: Mood: uncomfortable
I just saw my grandmother. I wanted to just cry. She makes me and other people who I care about so miserable. It makes me so sad because she used to be so great. I just want to slap her and tell her to wake up and realize what a selfish person she is. I know it's terrible of me to say this, and God forgive me, but I hope I never have to see her ever again.
My Grandpa (grandma's ex) is just getting worse...and the reality that I have to face just gets more real.
and we're doing something to help underprivelaged kids in the boroughs this christmas..it makes me so happy and excited. i love helping people..and reading these letters makes me feel even more and more grateful and a little guilty for being so fortunate..but still, i feel like i AM making a difference because not only is my family helping but i am using MY money for this, and not like 20 bucks, it's a very signifigant amount..and trust me its a wonderful feeling knowing you can give back.
and there's a couple things i HAVE to stop doing...
because
Santa's watching ;)
And Christmas is sooo near its so beautiful!
And so are 4 day weekends!
xoxo
2 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 28 November :: 10.23am
:: Mood: allergic
thanksgiving and my family
thanksgiving was only semi-disastrous
no it was actually quite lovely with the occasional akwardness and badness.
it was me, mom, dad, my grandpa (dads), grandpas wife, step-grandma's son and his two children, and my dads brother, and oliver the dog, who scared the shit out of my cat i felt so bad for her :(
i had to say grace. i sounded like a flaming idiot i was like "um well we should appreciate that we have the ability to have food" yikes!
food was great, company was surprisingly good. but i felt so bad for my mom because my step-grandma, uncle, and step-uncle and her had a convo about like war and france and all of that and my mom is a major pacifist and theyre not and they were being so mean i tried to defend her but i was like wheres brig when i need her??
sigh, then theres my grandpa. he has prostate cancer thats spread to his bones, and parkinsins disease. he just got the house and layed on the couch with blankets the whole time. hes only 67 too. its so sad. it goes to show you how important your health is. he had so much life...he was a painter, he loved to gamble, travel, go to the track, play tennis, and he has a lot of money..that gives you a great 20 years, but once he lost his health none of that mattered. he was kayacking this past summer, i cant imagine what he'd be doing if he were healthy. but im stopping this is sad.
then my neighbors came over after dinner for drinks and we sat outside in front of the fire..it was was really nice.
my dads side is so disfunctional though...those damn guineas. not disfunctional like my moms side which is screaming at eachother and being really weird..disfunctional like they beat eachother up at family gatherings and threaten to kill eachother...luckily thanksgiving didnt turn out like that.
and tomorrow i have to see my grandmother who contributes much to the disfunction. but thats a whole other story.
id say: successful turkey day...sure beats being at my aunts house in miami with 70 people i dont know (uncle is irish has 7 siblings..u get the picture)
sorry this was so long--blame my family for having a lot of problems
ADVENT 2 DAYS!
ciao<3
8 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 25 November :: 7.51pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: access hollywood (sigh more gossip)
I have such a weakness when it comes to my woohu...i love writing in it, i dont know why, but its just like so theraputic.
The week has been good. Interesting as well...with friends...tension i guess with some, i feel like i have a lot of pressure when it comes to that
...also that 1 friend of mine i mentioned in a previous entry i find drifting further into being so desperate to become someone else...it makes me so sad I <3 her so much and i dont wanna lose her
a more serious weakness of mine is gossip. dammit i do like it. all kinds too. celebrity esp. but still i find myself sometimes saying things that i just feel disgusted at myself for saying...but i dont know how to get my feelings for people out besides talking about it..im very verbal..but i have been so NOT judgemental lately im very proud of myself, and ive really shaved the gossip down...its just something that i feel stupid by doing and that it doesnt represent me as person, and i hate the thought of people thinking of me as some regular edgemont gossiper who has no deep thoughts and is just like everyone else because im not..
but i dont blame people for thinking that sometimes i put it on myself
...and on a more realistic side i know how we all hate gossip, but comeon we all do sometimes...but i never gossip without reasonable cause :)
wow that was a long ass paragraph tooshay to whoever read that. and yes im expecting the bitchy comments so go ahead and fire away just remember that YOU GOSSIP TOO!...
i was looking back at my woohu and at that selfishness post i wrote in june and got 12 comments...yeah whoever wrote that bitchy 1: i have ure ip address and im gonna find u so watch out fucker!
the walk from school to my house is so nice and brisk i loved it...
thanksgiving is coming...and im pretty excited, its gonna be kind of awkard though.
this was a sketchy post ew im not liking it but w/e ill just post it it took too long to delete now
ciao bellas
4 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 24 November :: 6.56pm
:: Mood: high
woooooo ahhhh my house REEKS of paint i am getting really woooozy ewwww
shakeeee it like a polaroid PICTUREEEEE
heyeyyeyeyyeey yyaaaaa
ahhhh cannnnt breattthee
my cousins back with her steaming hot boyfriend which is good but bad b/c hes not right for her..but dammmmmn hes fucking gorgeous...ok sry random
1 of my friends is a pathelogical liar i think
ahhhhhh getting lightheaded
ONE MONTH TIL CHRISTMAS YAY
lalalalalalalalalala
DIE earth science DIE
uh oh i think im gunna pass out
2 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 23 November :: 11.43am
:: Mood: peaceful
Its been a really fun weekend...and it's even better knowing that is a very short week.
i went to the cheesecake factory yesterday for like the 3rd time in a week lol and then i saw Love Actually...oh my God it was soooooo cute..it put me in such a good mood
and got me soooo excited for christmas
1 WEEK UNTIL ADVENT!!!
now im going to church (im wearing black cordoroys and a nice turtleneck BRIGGETTE! lol)
i have soooo much work to do today ahh
and theres nothing more to say other than i am a very happy person! ((knocks on wood))
ciao<3
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 21 November :: 6.33pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: rings...
ohmigosh...talking to 3 people on 2 phones at the same time is soooo fun lolol
still figuring things out for my weekend..
but TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!
8 left in nov+24 in dec=32 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!!!
ahhhh everyone be merry and bright its almost here!!!
ahhhhh im so hyper rite now ahhhh
ohmigosh TARGET is the best store EVER..the 1 here is SO much better than the 1 in miami
que bella es el fin de la semana!
have fun!
Ciao!
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 20 November :: 8.12pm
:: Mood: working
:: Music: friends...
1st period: Earth Science...would be less bored sitting in a white room all day
2nd period: Fencing, fun but eww smelly
3rd period: Spanish quiz dont know the stuff, Ms. Lehv's voice ugh
4th period: English, Essay Sproule gross
5th period: Global, Essay, Don't even know what it's on
^^^^this is my schedule for tomorrow...could it get ANY worse???
6,7,8 period are good...i really like math and ceramics...(ok i know im weird i like math but we all have our weird interests)
This week went by WAY too slow, and it's not even over.
And I have to get up at 7:30 tomorrow...yikes!
And I think that I may go postal soon with school...
sigh
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 20 November :: 4.40pm
:: Mood: lazy
Some Cute Quizzes
What Finding Nemo Character are You? brought to you by Quizilla
hehe i love nemo!
Congratulations!! You're a strawberry daquiri!!
What Drink Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
yum
Kyan Douglas, grooming guru, is your twin! You're
both fun and upbeat. Chances are you're the
"nurturer" among your friends. Snaps
for you ... and your hair!
Who's your 'Queer Eye' twin? (w/pictures) brought to you by Quizilla
lol i dont really like kyan oops
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 19 November :: 10.06pm
:: Mood: split moods
sports awards suck
global sucks
34 days suck
having to see my grandmother who I do not like next week sucks
missing my cousins and other family sucks
when friends are mean sucks
boys suck
me+briggette+ceramics+emotions=hilarious
science sucks
target=GOOD
Cheesecake Factory=awesome
getting our christmas cards = fun fun fun
rich girls+one tree hill+oc+qeftsg=GREAT television
NO WEED commercials= funny
no being able to go to math early=yucky
bachelor verdict in 1 hour=too long to wait
michael wacko jacko molesting children=haha freak
no yankees=BAD!!!
giants+knicks=God awful
being confused, don't like
ugh
i hate this
no
i love this
AHHHH GOODBYE!!!
2 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 16 November :: 5.02pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: No Doubt-the new song idk its name..i like it
a quick update
why are the giants so bad? why? what's wrong with them? in the words of my dad, fassel is such a chicken shit faggot. its so sad. baseball is long gone, football is a total waste. sigh.
im so excited, were having t-day here. i cant wait to make pretty menus and pretty decorations!!! i live for stuff like this lol i love entertaining.
this person who i used to be very friendly with, i dont know why, but i have grown such a deep dislike for. its not someone you would think either. its weird..i guess i never really liked them in the first place lol.
i have a feeling the next 10 days are gonna go by snail slow. and nothing makes it go faster.
im livin on a prayer...
hugs and kisses
2 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 13 November :: 7.44pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: my mom attempting to sing milkshake ha
omg im lmao--this is soo funny..for ne1 whose ever heard my mom sing, ya its pretty hilarious, she's like :
"ooh my milkshake makes them want to come to the playground.. they love my milkshake..its not ure milkshake its mine and the boys love it, damn right im gonna charge you oooh"
hahaha
ok feeling pretty good...im just contuing with my random highs and lows--on a higher end of the spectrum, which is good..hope it stays that way.
im looking very much forward to my weekend!
and it just keeps getting closer! (the holidays not my weekend lol)
and i had a good successful talk with a friend today..and she should NEVER doubt me lol..glad we talked that out
and im going to the gap tomorrow yay
and im soooo much better off without basketball..it was a tough desicion, but im a happier person and much less stressed..i hope it continues to pay off.
much love*
4 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 12 November :: 8.52pm
k i know i just updated but this looks like fun:
just surveys...
What song...
Fits your life as it is currently the most?: livin on a prayer
Reminds you to be grateful for the little things?: idk
Makes you wanna get up and dance?: cant touch this
Makes you reach for a box of kleenex?: songs dont affect me that much
Reminds you of something you've lost?: ill be missin u
Is the one you secretly like but would NEVER admit?: invisible..wait did i just admit that?
Reminds you of your crush/boyfriend/girlfriend?:-
Is the most depressing?: -
Can put you in a horribly depressing mood?: wtf? didnt you just ask that?
Can put you in a hyperily happy mood?: anything christina lol
Inspires you?: fighter
Makes you kinda horny?: danger high voltage~electric 6
Is your all-time favourite?: there are soooo many
Makes you calm and rather content?: just missed the trian~kelly clarkson
Sing a Song... brought to you by BZOINK!The signifigance of color...
What does the color navy blue make you think of?: deep ocean water
What emotions to you associate blue (normal tone) with?: cold, distant
What do think of when you see the color red?: evil
Which color would you say best represents the feeling of physical pain?: red
Which color would you say best represents the feeling of true love?: white
What does the color orange make you think of?: uniquness
What natural setting to grey colors remind you of?: dullness
Is yellow a "hot" color for you?: no
What do you first think of when you see the color brown: ewww
What does the color pink make you think of: a little girls room
What emotion do you associate with the color green?: natural, content
What color do you associate with your signifigant other and/or best friend?: im not sure
What is your favorite color?: idk
Your Perceptions brought to you by BZOINK!
Eat fried ochre/Drink cat piss?: eat fried ochre
Go to jail/Watch infomercials?: watch infomercials (i do that anyway)
Eat a roach/Drink blended squid?: drink blended squid
Have sex with a complete stranger/Your brother: um pass
Biuld a bridge/Biuld a house?: build a bridge
Now For The Tough Stuff...
Would u give up a day of u life so som1 u never met could live?: yes
What if this person would become an ax murder & kill a # of ppl?: no !
What if it was a year of your life, not just a day?: then, no
Which would ya save first/ u 100 y/o self, or a nwborn baby?: a newborn baby
If your house was burning, & u could go back 4 1 item, wh@ would u take?: my blankie
If you were to dye your hair, what color would you dye it?: red or black
Would You Rather brought to you by BZOINK!
red sox or yankees: YOU HAVE TO BE SERIOUS!
diet or regular: reg
caf or decaf: caf
curly or regular (french fry): both
chocoloate or vanilla: chocolate
single or taken: single
summer or winter: winter
beach or mountains: beach
city or town: city
school or sleep: sleep
swim or run: swim
bike or walk: walk
rain or snow: rain
dog or cat: cat
tall or short: never got this 1
?THIS OR THAT? brought to you by BZOINK!
Dad or mom?: yikes
Friend or foe?: pal
Girl or guy?: guys are easier mostly
Love or lust?: love
Bald or hair?:... hair
Boxers or briefs?: boxers
Bike or car?: car
Life or death?: LIFE
daughter or son?: 2 daughters 1 son
Math or Science?: math
Choir or PE?: pe
walking lawn mower or riding lawn mower?: riding
Trick or Treat?: treat
ok really bored sry congrats if u read all of that!
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 12 November :: 8.10pm
:: Mood: grumpy
why does my mom love to make me feel guilty and like a brat for having a good life?
I really am a good person, its not my fault ive had some good karma in return. she thinks that im supposed to be like Mother Theresa for being indulged alittle. news flash hello.
i cant even process my own thoughts lately. i hate thinking!!!
ugh
2 more weeks til ill be okay, just gotta hang in there.
1 HoLLeRr.. |
..HoLLa BacKks..
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goobs827
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2003 11 November :: 8.15pm
:: Mood: disappointed
dammit--pettitte/mussina didnt get cy young AND matsui didnt get rookie of the year!..DONTRELLE WILLIS? WTF?! 9.18 ERA in the postseason, yeah incredible...fuckers
..HoLLa BacKks..
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