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.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 14 March :: 9.25pm

Thank you, God.

Roman got a car. It has honestly been since like July that he hasn't had a car. Do you know how hard that has been for us?

He got a 2003 Taurus only 40 thousand miles on it!! I am so excited it looks so nice and new and pretty and yay I'm so excited.

YAY! We never imagined he would get this good of a deal or this nice of a car. I'm so happy.

Finally one thing good has happened.!

i'm gonna be jealous he has a better car than I do now lol@!!! Pimpin in his sweet ride!

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 14 March :: 3.08pm

I don't even know what this means, and don't ask me to explain in depth what a "slowdown" even is. But I just like this and it's making me want to cry.

I must look just like a fool
Here in the middle of the road
Standin' there in your rearview
Gettin' soaked to the bone
This land as flat as it is mean
A man can see for a hundred miles
So I'm still prayin' I might see
The glow of the brake light


But your wheels just turn, down the road ahead
If it hurts at all, you ain't showed it yet
I keep lookin' for the slightest sign
That you might miss, what you left behind

I know there's nothin' stoppin you now
But I'd settle for a slowdown


I held on longer than I should
Believin' you might change your mind
And those bright lights of Hollywood
Would fade in time


But your wheels just turn, down the road ahead
If it hurts at all, you ain't showed it yet
You're just a tiny dot, on that horizon line
Come on tap those brakes, baby just one time
I know there's nothin' stoppin' you now
I'm not asking you to turn back around
I'd settle for a slowdown
Come on just slowdown
I'd settle for a slowdown


I guess you wouldn't understand....

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 14 March :: 2.53pm

I'm just too far, from where you are, I wanna come home.
UGGHGHHGGHg

i dont even know what i'm doing anymore. my grades are getting so bad and this college class i'm taking is/was a ridiculous idea and i have another test today and i dont feel like going because i know im' going to fail it. there's no doubt so why even waste my time i wish i could just drop out of it.

there's no point especially because im not even going to college. just cosmetology school but then again i could always go college later in life so i dont want to fuck everything up but it will be anyway because i'm going to fail all the tests. i passed the last one but that was only because i duno... it was just better.

and yeah i guess the only good thing going on is roman is probably finally getting a car. this rowe city auto place in jackson has all their cars 40 thou and less miles and all 2000 or newer. how good is that? i know i feel like there must be a catch but we've both each called them twice and verified that that is really true and everything and he is actually there right now so hopefully everything works out.


please...


and i am just sick of pretty much everything. i want an apartment and i want to be done with school and my counter disapeered on my woohu page so now i lost track of how many days are left and it's upsetting me.

I wanna go home but oh wait I already am.

Yeah does that make any sense.

Hey would anyone do me a big favor and just comment to me and say something even just hi but not anything mean.

I want to cry and i have no drive.

my 6-8 page essay is due in 6 days and ta-daa i haven't even started it at all.

in fact, my works cited isn't even turned in. i just want to leave school. i wish i could and still graduate. but.

yeah. congratulations: a loser. So how do you like me now?

And seriously, how would you fill in these blanks? It's ridiculous... Just seriously even TRY

Always keep ________ your ________ on your phaser.

That doesn't even gramatically make any sense. Fuck!

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


tuwang

:: 2006 14 March :: 12.28am

I feel like ranting...
I think I've decided that I totally, and completely hate people of religion, for the most part... well, that's tough to say and is pretty broad so let me do this by expample...

por ejemplo:

I am talking with someone about something. Doesn't matter what subject. Talking talking talking... "Do you pray?"

BAM!!! you don't even see it coming, has nothing to do with anything. It's just that they've been told to get other people to join so they can get enough money to have their lazer tag party and haven't yet figured out how to ease their way into the subject. So instead they charge in like a member of an old germanic tribe and ask you " Do you pray?"

Well, I'm not one to stay on this subject because I only become depressed or angered... so I say " Yes ". I promptly get the response. " Oh, thank goodness..."

Now hang on a minute... what the hell is that supposed to mean? Does that mean that if I don't pray you're pretty sure I'm a bad person and that you've wasted the past 15 minutes having a decent conversation with a human being? Because , heaven forbid, you have a conversation with a mere mortal... And why can't you just say thank god anyway? Are you so scared of this obniscient being that you can't even thank him? It's not like you're dropping a GD... which I can understand being upset over.

And then you get filled with stories about how they had some experience with jesus and a mirror... always with jesus and a mirror...

and lately to me, it seems like everyone is joining the godly bandwagon. Which means I'm either missing something or I'm just dumb. or both. And with girls especially. It seems really difficult to communicate with a godly girl. They just seem to be too high up there and so good that you can't talk to them. And they probably won't talk to you. And it's mostly girls jumping on this god band wagon. It's really depressing when girls won't talk to you because you aren't godly enough, or look at you wierd because you are very open to not godly things. I mean, I'm not going around, jerking off, having sex with whores, doing heroine, and swearing... or atleast all at once... ( that's a joke , to all you bible thumpers)

And really, I'm all for freedom of speech, freedom of religion, ect... but I mean, stop using it as a means of judgement. It's like a competition... everyting is a god damn competition...

That's another thing, I hate competition. Yet I do it. Or atleast I'm always trying to compete. It's just aggrivating. I can't just let things go... I just get in that zone and I want people to say, oh he's good, but it doesn't happen because I'm not at alot of the things I compete in.

and now I've gone and pissed kelly off

(P.S. kelly, I can't go in anyway, because technically I'm not here)

Is there ladies out that that won't press religion on me and won't compete with me? that would be nice...

22 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


swimfan14

:: 2006 13 March :: 9.58pm

Well let's see here. The National College Fair wasn't all that bad. None of my friends even knew what it was. We honestly went just to get out of class and Mr. A told us we'd get free pens which was a lie lol. Not that I don't have enough of those anyways but out of all the colleges I was only interested in two of them which are both in California. Imagine that? I know. I sort of want to go to The Fashion Insitute of Design for fashion design obviously. I don't really know which one I'd go to. They have a school in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Orange County, and San Diego. I've would probably say Los Angeles or Orange County and then the other school is The University of San Francisco. So besides those two schools, the whole thing was a big waste of time but we missed almost the whole day so I guess I can't complain too much. I was talking to the guy that works at The Fashion Institute of Design and that is where LC from Laguna Beach goes. Haha I made sure to ask him that. He said he knows her pretty well. Well, thats nice. I'm not going to go there just because she does because I honestly could care less it's just I thought that was pretty interesting and I don't even know if I'm going to go there in the first place. It's just a small option I have. I still really really want to go to USC. I don't even know yet.
Okay so enough college talk.

I feel like my house is going to blow over any minute. That might be unfourtunate.

I can't let you go. It's who I know.

<3 Ashley

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 13 March :: 7.37pm

soooooooooooooo.


yeah.

3 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


swimfan14

:: 2006 12 March :: 8.45pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: The Veronicas-4ever

I can honestly say that today I had my doubts about all of this but after that talk I realize I don't have any reason to doubt things and that things are just the way they should be.


Come on baby we ain't gonna live 4ever, let me show you all the things that we can do, I know you wanna be together, and I wanna spend the night with you.

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


lynds4090

:: 2006 12 March :: 8.27pm

i love listening to chicago.. so i'm writing my paper and bob marley is great but i've listened to his cd twice.. and i jus tpopped in chicago.. and i'm revied!!! lol i'm a dork!! but i love it....... and all that jazz....

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 12 March :: 12.05pm

so roman's birthday and our 2 year anniversary was yesterday.

it was fun and now i probably... more like definetely wont see him until march 31st.

yeah so great.

and in other news i dont know

3 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


brokenmentality

:: 2006 12 March :: 10.08am

today will be wonderful. i dont have to work, keegan doesnt have to work. its just an "us" day. i got to see him for like 3 hours last night after he got out of work before he had to go home.... and 2 1/2 of those hours we were sleeping. lol.

i started my brit lit paper last night. anybody else reading this will feel my pain. im doing mine on jack the ripper.... i almost had a break down last night about how there's no way im going to get it done in time. i mean... this week i have to write a 6-8 page research paper, a 5 minute speech, arrange everything for the talent show, work, i wont beable to get anything done on my paper on saturday because we're going to Ann Arbor for a BBoy battle. (hopefully i can use the schools camera) stupid mysterious murderer stressin me all out.

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


swimfan14

:: 2006 11 March :: 12.57pm

Lisa and I are procrastinators and we figured since Spring Break is coming up we should probably buy our tickets to Florida so that's what we did today and the total for both of us was $1,000. Yeah, that's what happens when you wait so long. We should have gotten them a long time ago but I always wait until the last minute to do everything. Oh well I guess. $1,000 later and we're off to Florida soon. Thank god. We both need to get out of this horriable place.


anachronism

:: 2006 11 March :: 11.55am
:: Music: Elvis Presley

You're all so fake. It kills me. It should kill you too.


swimfan14

:: 2006 10 March :: 11.01pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack-My Favorite Accident

I really hate calls like those. Calls when you can't even understand your friend because they are crying so hard. I don't even know what to say to make her feel better. It's hard for me to imagine being that upset because I haven't been that way in a long time and right now I'm genuinely happy. I feel so useless because some of my friends really need me and yes I am here for them it's just I can't always help them in the ways they need to be helped. It really makes me sad to see her like that because I can honestly say that less than a month ago I was the same way. It's hard. It hurts. I know. I've been there and I'm sure I will be again someday. I never believed that something great would come along and make me forget about all those things that were bringing me down but eventually it does and you just need to learn to let go of the people who cause pain. It's not worth being down. I've learned that the hard way. I have no idea how talking about my friend turned into something like this but I just hope that things start to look up for some people who really need it and they know who they are.

This morning when I pulled into school Bruce was already parked and he waited for me and we walked into school together and he told me that he feels like today was going to be a good day and I just had a feeling it wasn't going to be and sure enough it really wasn't. I was such a bitch to everyone for no reason. I was just so upset that I could've cried. I have no idea why I was upset but it was just one of those days but I think I really just needed to talk to this person and after we talked and everything was better. So I apologize for being that way today.

Mishy: I'm pretty sad because those wonderful sunglasses that you bought for me have been stolen by Aaron. He was wearing them after school and he told me he'd give them back tomorrow. He has like ten things of mine at his house haha.

I guess this is all for tonight. I'm just rambling on.

<3 Ashley

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 10 March :: 10.51pm

I'm so invisible all the time.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


tuwang

:: 2006 10 March :: 7.44pm

I thought that I would find out what I really am... and this is the shit I get...

You are a

Social Moderate
(50% permissive)

and an...

Economic Moderate
(50% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Centrist




Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test


no help at all...

3 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 10 March :: 7.01am

ugggh i can't take any morrrrrrrrre




...school, that is.

3 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


swimfan14

:: 2006 9 March :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Panic! At The Disco//Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

Aww I love those moments when you say those things. It's so adorable.

This week has gone by so slow but it's definitely been worth it. So much has happened this week and so many things have changed it's unbelievable. I'm happy. Everything is pretty much wonderful. I'm off to bed. Goodnight!!

I love you all.

<3 Ashley

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 9 March :: 10.58am

• c o n f e s s i o n s •

Created by stevo23 and taken 1882 times on Bzoink

~•*be honest*•~
- y e s - o r - n o -
I'M AFRAID OF SILENCEyeah
I TALK A LOT WHEN I GET NERVOUSno
I AM REALLY TICKLISH yeah
I'VE BEEN CALLED A TEASEno
I'VE BEEN CALLED "JAIL-BAIT"no
I'M AFRAID OF THE DARKout side but not so much inside
I'M AFRAID OF FACING MY BACK TO OPEN DOORS AT NIGHTi duno
I CAN'T SLEEP IN A ROOM IF THE CLOSET DOOR IS OPENno
I AM A HOMOSEXUALno
I BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVEyeah
I'VE RUN AWAY FROM HOMEyeah
I LISTEN TO POLITICAL MUSICi dont even know what that is
I COLLECT COMIC BOOKSno
I SHUT OTHERS OUT WHEN I'M SADkinda
I'VE STAYED OUT ALL NIGHTyeah
I OPEN UP TO OTHERS EASILYkinda
I AM KEEPING A SECRET FROM THE WORLDno
I WATCH THE NEWSsometimes
I OWN OVER 5 RAP CD'Syeah
I LOVE DISNEY MOVIESno
I AM A SUCKER FOR GREEN EYESno
I AM A SUCKER FOR BROWN EYESno
I AM A SUCKER FOR BLUE EYESno
I DON'T KILL BUGSno
I CURSEyeah
I'VE CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIENDno
I'VE SLIPPED AND FELL IN PUBLICnot that i can remember
I'VE SLIPPED OUT A "LOL" IN A REAL CONVERSATIONwho would do that.
I LOVE SPAMno
I'M A GOOD COOKno
I HAVE WORN PAJAMAS TO CLASSyeah
I HAVE OWNED SOMETHING FROM ABERCROMBIEyeah
I WANT A BETTER JOB..OR A JOBeh more money i guess. who doesn't
I'VE TALKED ON THE PHONE FOR 6+ HOURSyeah
I LOVE DR. PHILno
I LIKE SOMEONEsure
I AM GUILTY OF TyPiNg LiKe ThIsno
I AM SELF-CONSCIOUSyeah
I LOVE TO LAUGHyeah
I DRINK ALCOHOL FREQUENTLYno
I'VE SMOKED A PACK OF CIGARETTES IN 1 DAYno
I'M NOT A VIRGINyeah
I LOVE LORD OF THE FLIESno
I EAT COUGH DROPS WHEN I'M NOT SICKnot usually
I CAN'T SWALLOW PILLSno
I HAVE A LOT OF SCARSno
I CAN'T SLEEP IF I KNOW THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE ROOMno
I LOVE CHOCOLATEyeah
I BITE MY NAILSsometimes
I TWIRL MY HAIRsometimes
I AM COMFORTABLE WITH BEING MEeh
I PLAY COMPUTER GAMES WHEN I'M BOREDno
I TAKE THESE GAY SURVEYS WHEN I'M BOREDyeah
I'VE SEEN A SHOOTING STARno
I'VE HAD A "MENAGE A TROIS"whats that
I'VE GONE OUT IN PUBLIC IN MY PAJAMASno
I'VE KISSED A STRANGERno
I'VE KISSED SOMEONE FOR THE HELL OF ITno
I'VE HUGGED A STRANGERno
I'VE BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEXno
I'VE LAUGHED AND HAD SOME TYPE OF BEVERAGE COME OUT OF MY NOSEyeah
I'VE PUSHED ALL THE BUTTONS IN AN ELEVATORno
I'VE MADE OUT IN AN ELEVATORjust kissed
I'VE KICKED A GUY WHERE IT HURTS ON PURPOSEno
I'VE BEEN SKYDIVINGno
I'VE BEEN BUNGEE JUMPINGno
I'VE HAD STITCHESyeah
I'VE BITTEN SOMEONE..AS A JOKEyeah
I'VE BEEN TO NIAGARA FALLSno
I'VE HAD THE CHICKEN POXyeah
I'VE CRASHED INTO A CARno
I'VE BEEN TO JAPANno i wish
I'VE RIDDEN IN A TAXIno
I'VE SHOPLIFTEDyeah
I'VE BEEN FIREDno
I'VE HAD FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T HAVE THEM BACKyeah
I'VE STOLEN SOMETHING FROM MY JOBno
I'VE BEEN ON A BLIND DATEno
I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHERno
I'VE CELEBRATED MARDI GRAS IN NEW ORLEANSno
I'VE BEEN TO EUROPEno
I'VE SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER, AND/OR EMPLOYEEno
I'VE BEEN MARRIEDno
I'VE GOTTEN DIVORCEDno
I'VE BEEN PREGNANTno
I'VE SEEN SOMETHING/SOMEONE DYINGno
I HAVE A LIST OF PEOPLE I WANT TO KILLehhhhno
I'VE DRIVEN OVER 400 MILES IN 1 DAYyeah
I'VE BEEN TO CANADAno
I'VE BEEN ON A PLANEno
I'VE SEEN THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOWno
I'VE THROWN UP FROM DRINKINGno
I'VE EATEN SUSHIno
I'VE BEEN SKIINGno
I'VE BEEN ICE SKATINGyeah
I'VE CRIED IN PUBLICyeah like a million times
I'VE TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDEyeah
I'VE LIKED SOMEONE EVEN THOUGH I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVEyeah
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT SOMEONE ALMOST 24/7yeah
I'VE HATED THE WORLDyeah

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to Bzoink



PRIDE (Deadliest of Sins)
Have you ever thought you were better than anybody else?:no
How many competative sports do you do, and what are they?:hate them
When in a group, is it your way or no way?:no
How much time do you spend in front of the mirror?:too much
What religion are you?:chirstian
When you are sitting in your place of worship, do you actually listen?:yea
Do you show good sportsmanship or do you rub it in their face?:good
Do you tend to love yourself?:no
Can you be Vain?:probably
Are you arrogant in some ways?:yeah
When watching a reality TV show, do you say <>:say what
Do your sights overthrow your ability?:no
Do you HAVE to be the best?:no
Does the pride of others bother you?:yeah
ENVY (The love of other peoples personal things)
Do you wish you could be in someone elses shoes?:yeah
When someone gets a gift, do you often wish it was yours?:maybe a car
If you had one wish, would it be for a personal item?:yeah
Do you want to be a celebrity just for the stuff you get?:no
Have you ever used someone for their stuff?:no
Do you wish to be a model so people will look at you?:no
Have you ever used prayer so god will give you something?:yeah
Have you every truely Loved someone?:yeah
Do you take pleasure in doing service work?:eh
In your life, how many servise projects have you done?:duno
Do you honestly like doing it for nothing?:no
Do you throw the word want around?:sure
ANGER (The Emotion of the Falsely Righteous)
What gets you angry?:like everything
What do you do when you are angry?:scream
Are you and angry person?:yes
Do people fear you when you are angry?:sure
Do you have a short fuse?:yeah
What gets you more angry, words or actions?:either
Who gets you the most angry?:dumb fricken idiots in school and just school altogether
Have people told you you need anger management?:a few
Are you a kind person?:yeah
Does anger give you energy?:um maybe the wrong kind
Do you have to count to ten when in a fight?:no
Have you ever gotten in a verbal fight?:yeah
Have you ever gotten in a phisical fight?:no
SLOTH (Even the busy can be lazy)
How often do you do nothing?:eh
Do you have a job?:yeah
Do you enjoy doing manual labor?:no
if so how often do you do it?:5 days a week
How much junk do you eat?:too much
Do you sleep a lot?:yes
Do you cringe at the sound of manual labor?:eh
Have you fallen asleep in class? Whose?:all the time
How many hours of TV do you watch?:maybe 1
How often do you neglect people?:eh
Have you ever had to do something but said oh, im too lazy?:yeah
Do you over use the term, i'll do it later?:yeah
How often do you take the time to do things all the way through?:eh
Do you actually do what your told?:eh
GREED (Constant want)
Do you love money?:dont love it but want it
Do you love it more than people?:no
Have you sold someone out for personal benefit?:no
Do you have to get the best stuff out there?:no
Do you give credit where credit is due?:yeah
Do you fear not being rich?:no
Do you need the limelight?:no
Do you want power?:no
What do you fear?:eh
If it comes down to it, for love or money?:love
Do you donate to a charity?:no
if so, which?:penny kind
GLUTTONY (to overdo)
Do you use indugence to feel better?:yeah
Do you overeat?:yeah
How many meals do you eat?:too many
Do you overdo?:yeah
Do you demand too much of people?:no
You just <>:
Do you know when enough is enough?:no
What is your favorite food?:cereal
What is your favorite drink?:long islands
How much of both do you have each week?:too much
Are you Overweight, or do you have a healthy lifestyle?:
When you see something that you like, do you have to have it?:want to
LUST (Constant want of the body)
How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you ever had?:i duno
How many in the past month?:1
Are you into porn?:no
Stripclubs?:no
Can you control your urges?:sure
have you lost friends because of lust?:no
Do people get the impression you are a slut/whore:no
-JUDGEMENT DAY-
Did you like this quiz?:no
After finishing, which sin do you most represent?:gluttony probably
What can you do to try and break free of it?:die
Which sin do you least represent?:lust
Will you tell people about this quiz?:no

7 Deadly Sins brought to you by Bzoink

Whats your nickname/s?:jess. pappy. baby
What makes you happy?:not being in school and not having to work
What makes you sad?:not seeing roman forever
Whats your favorite color?:i duno... blue or something or pink
Whats the last text on your phone say?:love you baby can't wait to kiss your pretty cheeks. lol
Whos the last person that called you?:roman
Whats something you should never do when your drunk?:try to drive
Whats the best advice youve ever gotten?:ummmmmmmmm to think i'm pretty
Whats your lucky number?:2
Whos the last person who made you laugh?:roman
Whos the last person who made you cry?:roman's sister
You are...:sick of school
You want...:to leave school and to move in with roman
Yo mama...:is at home and i wish i was with her
What are you listening to right now?:a teacher talking
Did you pay for the ringer on your cellphone?:no
Do you sing in the shower?:yeah
SAY SOMETHING RANDOM...:i hate school and allt hese stinky boys
Last dream you had...:that i got a big tattoo on my arm that said love in bright red
The last time you left your house you went to...:movies and dinner w/ roman last night
Favorite pizza toppings?:nothing
Favorite ice cream sundae toppings?:m and ms
Most random way youve ever picked up a guy/girl...:on a bus lol
Best pick up line you know...:i wanna scrump ya
MJ:ok
SAY SOMETHING RANDOM...:you suck
What are you wearing?:ugly clothes
Do you like boxers or briefs?:boxers
Rain or snow?:rain
Was this survey the most randomess ever?:no

SHORT RANDOM SURVEY brought to you by Bzoink

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 9 March :: 10.48am

oh so i'm t rying out for the talent show. guess what i'm gonna do.

6 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 9 March :: 10.48am

ohhhhhhhhh my gawd. i hate schoool. so much.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


swimfan14

:: 2006 8 March :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: tired

Tonight was fun. I hung out with Emily Esch and Elyse until the game. Emily always wants to drive my car but when she asks me we are always on our way somewhere so I always say no but then today she asked me again and I told her she would have to call my dad and ask him if he would let her since he wont let barely anyone drive it unless it's him or me and I really didn't think she would call him but she did and sure enough he said yes because she is definitely one of his favorites out of my friends. They sat there and talked on the phone for like five minutes. I was like seriously just drive lol!!


Once I get everything straightened out and I begin to enjoy life...something happens. It happens because there has to be some kind of event that hits me in the face and makes me realize that it's not all gonna come easy.

Part of me just can't let go of the past and the other part tells me I have no other choice.

Having that talk with you made me realize that we have so much more in common than we ever thought. We are almost like the same person and it's good to know that someone thinks the way I do. I guess you always understood those things in me.

I think this is how things are going to be and I'm really happy right now. For once I finally feel like this is something real.

4 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 8 March :: 10.41am

AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DONT GET EXCITED FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE. OF COURSE ROMAN CAN'T COME AND WHAT A SUPRISE RIGHT.

I EFFING AM SO MAD. IT'S LIKE IF I GET JUST A LITTLE EXCITED, GOD PUNISHES ME AND IS LIKE HAHAHA GET EXCITED ABOUT THAT BIATCH

I SWEAR I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE. WHAT A FREAKIN GREAT BIRTHDAY HUH.

WHAT A FREAKING SUPRISE. A GREAT BIRTHDAY SUPRISE

3 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


swimfan14

:: 2006 7 March :: 7.51pm

Everytime we touch I get this feeling and everytime we kiss I swear I could fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last. I need you by my side. Everytime we touch I feel the static and everytime we kiss I reach for the sky. Can't you hear my heart beat slow? I can't let you go. I want you in my life.


brokenmentality

:: 2006 7 March :: 12.15pm

stacy: bdlaaaaa

hahahaha.....

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 7 March :: 10.55am

I can't believe and I still am hesitant to get too excited but Roman's sister is letting him use her van tomorrow so he's going to pick me up after school and take me out to the movie and Coldstone and downtown and then at night to the Margarita Grille. I'm so excited.

And supposedly he has a really big suprise for me on Saturday.

yay. We Gon' Boogie.

1 ..chose the best time | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


swimfan14

:: 2006 6 March :: 10.53pm

I'm not exactly sure what I should say. Everything I do is a mistake. Your attention is attention. It doesn't matter if it's real or fake. I'll take it if I get it. I've made up my mind. I'll do it over any time.

You're over it, over me. Present just physically. Last words from the dying scene, you're over me.


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 6 March :: 1.38pm

Oh and would anyone like any more complaining from me?

Well good.

I just called all the cosmetology schools and one of them wont do visits on saturdays and the other 2 are bitches who dont pick up their phone so basically I have no "reason" other to go down there so I am like 70% sure my mom wont let me go down there.

You know, because our 2 year anniversary and my birthday and roman's birthday obviously aren't reasons to go see my boyfriend.

Obviously.

You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..


.j.e.s.s.

:: 2006 6 March :: 11.19am

Seriously how bad can our luck be.

So there is so much going on and ugh this.... almost this whole year has just been bad. and this specific year- 2006 has definetely been bad.

My mom won't throw me an open house because I'm moving out. Yeah okay. She's like embarrassed by me and my decisions I'm guessing because she said she doesn't want me to tell people I'm moving in with Roman. I want to be with Roman and really close to him so I can see him within 5 minutes if I want to, but that doesn't mean I'd have to live with him. I would live with friends and really close to him if I could. But I can't. I can't afford that and neither can my friends and I. And... he lives in Jackson so I have to be down there and my friends aren't down there and I am not living with my parents. So yeah , i'm moving in with roman, but not just so that i can be living with him. I'm moving in with him so I don't have to live at home and so that I can be near him. I'm gonna go to one of the 3 cosmetology schools I have picked out.

My mom and I are going to visit the schools hopefully this Saturday. Stef has graciously agreed to me spending the night at her apartment in K-zoo.*thank you again stef* So that is like, exactly halfway between Cedar and Parma(Jackson) so if I spend the night there Saturday night, I can still see Roman after our college visits and spend his birthday and our anniversary together and possibly Sunday.... but he has to work so probably not. And yeah my mom won't let me spend the night with him even though i'll be LIVING with him in 2 months. Does that make any sense... but whatever.

Wednesday is my 18th birthday and Roman was supposed to come up, pick me up from school. We were going to see Brokeback Mt. and then go to Coldstone because i've never had ice cream there. And then we were going to go to Margarita Grille. I thought it would be so fun. For my 18th birthday woo.

BUT GUESS WHAT

big shocker right? He has no car ever since the Taurus' transmission went out, and the truck that the brake line broke got fixed on one side but they are going to fix the other side too so it doesn't happen to that side as well or blah blah whatever car stuff that i dont really understand and his sister probably won't let him take the van so HOORAY no transportation.

He wants to get a car and we want it so bad, but he doesn't have the money right now for a down payment and he doesn't really have anyone who will co-sign. So there are like, no options. He's going to see he how much he needs for the bank to give him a loan but other than that there are no real options so it just sucks so much.

Like seriously. i never want to hear anyone complain about their boyfriends. I mean, obviously if they are going through a break up then yeah, they have it worse. but i can't even see my boyfriend on my 18th birthday which comes once in a lifetime. Seriously if he doesn't come , then i will be doing absolutely nothing on my birthdya. just sitting at home. how much does that suck. Seriously and it's like well i can't get mad at roman. its not his fault. he's been doing all he can. and all he can do right now is work. and he's working 36 hrs a week, he can't be full time just yet but he will be and he works all the time so i what more can i ask from him? for him to grow wings and fly here?!

Oh and one more thing. Can you believe I actually came up with this idea and these words actually came out of my mouth? I suggested us not seeing each other for a whole MONTH so that he can save up for a car . It costs near 50 bucks to fill up that trucks gas tank so by not seeing me for a whole month he could save like a grand and make a down payment for a car. UGHGLAKJSLKF i dont even know. it might happen. how much does that suck.
You know, there's just nothing we can do.

I hate this so much.

And it's like what am I supposed to do, there's nothing to fix it. my parents wont let me drive down there.

theres nothing i can do.

seriously i just hate everything right now.

2 ..chose the best times | You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..

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