swimfan14
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2006 5 March :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack//The Future Freaks Me Out
<3
I think I'm just being paranoid. I always feel like I need to know what's going to happen and if I don't know what's going to happen then I freak out. It's not really necessary but I can't stand that feeling.
This weekend was extremely exhausting. I barely slept. Friday night I went out to dinner with my family in Lansing and then I went to my friend Missy's house. She also models with me. We went ice skating with her two sisters Holly and Katrina and then their friends Tori and Haylie. It was really fun. They have an ice skating rink at their house. Weird? I know. Saturday we had modeling from 11-6 which was the exhausting part. Afterwards we had a fashion show and international dinner. They both we're really fun. Sunday we went to church and then I just went to my dads for a while to see him before he left and then I came home.
A few pictures from this weekend.
Read more..
When I got home today I found out that my mom put a phone line in my room so now I have my own internet. It's actually quite nice. I'm just being a lazy ass right now and I'm laying in my nice comfy bed talking to my friends on my laptop.
This week should be a busy week. I'm most likely going to all three basketball games on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday with Lisa and Elyse and then Tuesday i'm hanging out with Cohen and then Thursday I'm going shopping :D
tomorrows monday..what a drag.
I would stay here if I could but I know it wont do any good. Maybe one day you'll understand something in me. It's something I gotta do. It's not you. It's something in me.
I still love you.
Did you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
2 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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anachronism
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2006 4 March :: 6.44pm
:: Music: James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun.
Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So, I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over, but it won't stop there.
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
my heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Chorus:
Goodbye, my lover.
Goodbye, my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer, but when I wake
you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me.
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the [mother] of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts, but now we're fine.
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
[Chorus]
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine, when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
when I'm kneeling at your feet.
[Chorus]
I'm so hollow, baby. I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
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Paradox
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2006 4 March :: 10.57am
Oooooh man, it's been a while since I've updated. This is going to be a bunch of quick thoughts on my life, so tere won't be much connectivity between them. Lol
Dancing for the rampage is fun, it's becoming more and more of an outlet for us to move onto other and bigger things in the future, which is nice.
Theres too much drama in our crew though.
Erika and I got a hamster and named him Sushi, he kicks ass.
I'd move down to Tennesee if I could afford it.
I think I need to sell my car and get a new one.
Having to pick up my sister because my mom works 2nd shift is a damn nuisence.
I need to find more time to write.
I love weekend nights with erika.
I have an attitutde problem, that I need to fix.
I've gotta get on college. Now...
I hope erika and I steay together for a long time...
Theres a bboy battle in Ann Arbor on the 18th I'm excited.
Next rampage game is the 16th at 7. Be there.
Thats all I can think of
4 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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kellilynn21
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2006 3 March :: 9.53pm
:: Mood: Excited:)
:: Music: Crush- Mandy Moore
Basketball... Ya We Totally Won. Duh! Cant Wait Till Districts... Ya, Definitly Cant Wait.
Their He Goes.... Doing It Again. :D
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 3 March :: 5.36pm
well 5 hours has turned into 15 minutes and i'm SO EXCITED!!!!
have i said that enough!?!?!?
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2006 3 March :: 4.04pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Ne-Yo//So Sick
Today was...interesting..to say the least.
Haha yes apparently Mr. McDonald did forget he had a seminar class so Mishy and I just left. We went out to eat and to Starbucks.
"Ashley, taste this, I think she gave me eggnog, instead of cafe' vanilla".
"Okay...*sips* mmm.."
"Doesn't it taste like eggnog?"
"...I've never had eggnog."
*both laugh*
Haha thinking about that still makes me laugh. I don't even know why I tasted her drink if I've never once tasted eggnog.
And yeah I'm really happy about what I said too. I'm just happy in general. I hope everything works out for the best.
I need to go pack though. I have to go to Lansing all weekend for modeling. I'm pretty stoaked for that business!! I'll bring my laptop with me. Haha I'm talking like I'll be gone forever but I'll be coming home on Sunday.
Well I hope everyone has a good weekend. Stacy we'll hang out next week because I miss you!
Love Always,
Ashley..........
You sit completely unaware of what I'm about to do
I am nervous that you won't be my lover. Oh, I adore you.
5 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 3 March :: 1.04pm
So Roman's gonna be here in 5 hours and then we are heading off to the suprise!!!
hooray!
And jess sorry i wasn't in PE today... my mom took me out to lunch and by the time we were done, it was kinda pointless.
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 3 March :: 11.08am
Today is finally here! I can't wait to suprise Roman
YAY!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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brokenmentality
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2006 3 March :: 9.02am
soo.. there's some seroius talk about us moving to Tennesse sometime this summer. that would be the most wonderful thing.
i was talking to Keegan about it last night, and im not worried about leaving him, because more than likely, he'd come with us. i just hate michigan, and i hate cedar springs. i know that sounds bad because i was the red flannel queen, and i guess hate is to strong a word. cedar springs is my home, and no matter where i go, where i end up... it will always BE my home. and regardless of what anyone says, we will never FULLY get away, because this town harbors all of our childhood memories. we are who we are because we've lived in Cedar Springs, and i'm not ashamed to say i'm from a small town, because there is a "Cedar Springs" all over the U.S... what i hate is the routine of living in the same place all my life. what i hate is living in a town that is so closed minded and traditional. and what i hate is living in a town who's known for dollar stores and pizza places.
Tennesse on the other hand, is absolutely breathtaking. i've known that i wanted to live there since the 5th grade when we went on vaccation to the Smokies. i'm not a big city girl. i dont want to live in an expensive appartment for the rest of my life! i want (corny) a big back yard and a little yappy dog that barks at squirls bigger than it! i want a window FOR ONCE with a view. and i want and desperatly miss that feeling of connection with a power so much greater than myself when i look at the mountains. thats what i want. there's nothing here for me. after school... there's NOTHING here. i would have a hard time leaving my friends... but i'd deal.
the one person i could NEVER leave though, is keegan. at least not right now. not when he's my best friend and a big part of my life and quite possibly future. thats why if we leave, he'll leave. we're not about to give up on something so beautiful.
so.. perhaps this a goodbye to miserable winters and tanning salons?! i guess we'll see.......
1 ..chose the best time |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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kellilynn21
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2006 2 March :: 10.28pm
:: Mood: Tired
[Random Update About Nothing]
SNOW DAY!
Thank goodness for this snow day. I went back and got my hair re-dyed today. TO ME it looks better than it did. I liked it last time… I just, didn’t, because it wasn’t what I wanted. But its ok, I went back and got to talk to Kristen for like 5 hours while she was dying my hair. Jordan went with me, then after we went to Taco Bell. Yummm. I don’t really have anything new to update on besides the fact that we won the league championship on Tuesday for our basketball team. It was friggen awesome. Like I said before… I just LOVE going to basketball games. We have one tomorrow. It’s the first one in districts so I’m excited! I hope we make it far. I’m sure we will! Sorry my life isn’t more exciting haha.
<3 K
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 2 March :: 9.48pm
OKAY I ALMOST TO THE POINT OF JUST SAYING FUCK YOU AND GOODBYE.
yeah i love roman totally with all my heart. but i never started loving you any LESS because of my love for roman.
doesn't any of that sound relavent.
well it should.
oh and on a totally different note. i seriously fucking hate racism.
FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!
2 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 2 March :: 4.40pm
Well now that everything is a closed chapter I guess all I have left to do is move away from here.
Oh and I seriously don't know how Im' going to be able to stand IT. Oh my goodness don't even get me started.
And well I guess cause it's just me and you now......
I seriously would give anything to be alone in your room again ordering pizza and then finishing it off with some Edy's Mint Chocolate Chip.
UGHGHGHGGh. But no, if i wanted that now... I 'd have to drive 2 hours for it.
Great.
Stop taking everything for granted you stupid stupid bitches.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 2 March :: 4.34pm
well i know what I'm sick of and I guess I'm free of it now.
so yeah thanks in a weird fucked up way. UGH
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2006 2 March :: 3.25pm
Fate fell short this time.
Nothing is forever and the time comes when we all must say goodbye to what we knew.
Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted.
Goodbye to those we thought would never leave us.
And when these changes finally do occur and when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken it's place, all any of us can really do is to say hello and welcome those new feelings.
You're the one who has to live with yourself.
[Stacy: I have no idea where you are but I really need to talk to you.]
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 2 March :: 10.57am
Okay so I have the best suprise for Roman. The idea came to from someone else so thanks to that someone I got this great idea. And then my mom came up with an addition to it to make it an even GREATER idea and then that idea took a while to work out and I tried and tried and finally I GOT IT!
And then Roman told me he couldn't come here on Friday because he had to work and I cried and cried and cried. And then he said he can leave at 4.
And then the car was going to be fixed and he got the part and then OF COURSE it didn't work.
But his sister is letting him take her van and he will be here at six tomorrow and i CAN'T WAIT!
It has been so hard keeping this suprise from him because I'm so used to telling him everything but I seriously can't wait.
And, as for everything else in my life. I have no idea what is going on.
AT ALL!
so whatever.
2 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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Tuwang
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2006 2 March :: 10.16am
Lookin like a long day ahead of me kids... I'm tired as hell and i have to wait till 6. Kind of sucks.
Later then...
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2006 1 March :: 10.20pm
What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away and never knowing what could've been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.
My heart is breaking and you're still faking a feeling that you will never know.
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brokenmentality
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2006 1 March :: 9.02am
me and keegan got a hampster sunday.
his name is Sushi and just might be the cutest thing i've ever seen. (exageration... but awwww, hes the cutest)
we had our leadership convention monday, and last friday i had to send out the award of excellence. im so relieved to have two major things lifted off my shoulders. i was majorly stressin. but its all good now.
now if only yearbook would go smoothly.
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2006 28 February :: 10.42pm
Tonight just made me realize that this isn't going to come easy.
It's pretty much now or never.
It's just one of those things where the stakes are high. Sometimes it's forever and sometimes it's goodbye.
All I can say is I'm not going to be the one to regret this.
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tuwang
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2006 28 February :: 12.13pm
I think.. no I know that I am being slowly driven insane by my utter inability to do what I say I'm going to do... It's sort of like that "you can't do anything right" feeling, but with the conscienceness of knowing that it is infact your fault.
Damnit, I just did it again...
I'm thinking about chopping my hair all off, or letting it grow out. I'll let the democratic system decide this one... insert your votes.
I can see this making me feel bad about my looks...
9 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 28 February :: 10.48am
So yeah I have the best suprise for my boyfriend and he's gonna fricken love me more than he already does!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2006 27 February :: 10.29pm
I saw your face in a crowded place and I don't know what to do because I'll never be with you.
But it's time to face the truth. I will never be with you.
5 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 27 February :: 9.32pm
I must.
No, I WILL win!
Muhahahahahahhararrrrrr
Rarrrrrrrrrrr!
Lol I really hope anyway!
2 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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lynds4090
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2006 27 February :: 8.26pm
now that cedar pride week is over.. i can actual sleep.
sat. was great... can't wait!!
32 days until spring break.. yeah that is right.. i'm sooo ready to leave and go to nice warm flordia...and gooooo SAILING!!! ahhhh the last week i will not be able to sit still.. yeah. so yes.... ah spring break
~ (\ ~~~ (\~- they are boats. ah i'm a dork.. i know. no need to remind me
4 ..chose the best times |
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 27 February :: 3.34pm
ahhhhhh if this works out i'll feel like the best girlfriend EVER!! hooray!
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEe!
You almost always pick the best times to drop the worst lines..
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swimfan14
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2006 26 February :: 5.57pm
:: Mood: Annoyed
The longer I tried denying this, the worse I feel. I've come to realize that pretending I don't hate you isn't making anything better. The truth is, I've never hated anyone more. Sometimes I say that I hate someone when I'm talking to one of my friends and i'll be like "oh yeah I hate him/her" but I never mean it. Things are differen't with you. I truly hate you and nothing will ever change that. I don't feel bad for saying this. You have no idea how much you've ruined things. You're so fucking ungrateful and selfish that I can't even stand it anymore. I seriously hope you choke.
Glad that's all out in the open now.
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swimfan14
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2006 26 February :: 12.37pm
You got your own way of looking at it, I guess that proves that I got mine. It's just who we are.
We've come too far to start over now. I know what you're thinking. I'm not always easy to be around but I do love you. You keep me believing that you love me too and I know it's true. This love drives us crazy but nobody's walking away so I guess we'll have to do it the hard way.
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