jennapie
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2005 15 June :: 12.05pm
ugh! why am I so freakin tired!! I gotta wake up!
Why did you have to do that? I already get so much crap from everyone, and I still make my own decisions about you, but now the one person who supported me, is the person that you hurt the most. I don't know why you do things like that, but it makes me hurt so bad, it's not funny, and it's hard to even be mad at you because it would be a waste of time, because you won't see how horrible and mean that was, only that you thought it was funny. So you won't feel bad, and me being mad won't change that. I just don't know what to do, I don't want things to be over, but that was so evil, you don't do things like that to someone, that was the meanest thing I've ever heard of someone doing to someone else, and then to not feel any regret about it, and to have so many people bad mouthing you afterwards, and then you're the one who doesn't want people talking about you, and then you bring it on yourself by doing something this incredibly low. Wow, I honestly didn't think that you could sink that low. I thought that we were friends, and I hope after this we still will be, but not ANY of my FRIENDS would do that to another one of my friends, and then laugh. Do you purposfully hurt other to bnring yourself up? Are you that unhappy? I thought that I could understand, but it's looking like my perspective of you was a lot different than it should have been. I'm beginnging to think that I should have listened to everyone aroiund me, telling me to stay away, I still don't want that, but if it comes down to it, I don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't care about other people the way that you do. And distancing yourself from everyone, that's just not something that people do. You get so worried about messing up again, and about how people never stay in your life, but you cause them to leave by doing things like this that we just can't imagine someone doing to someone else. We can't possible understand, because we see how wrong it was, and you don't see that. And then you sit and laugh with your "friends" about it. Dani has never done ANYTHING to you. Even when you are SOOOOO mean to her, she still is nice to you, because that's the kind of person she is, she's been giving you second chances forever! And what do you do about it? You throw it all in her face in the worst possible way that you could've. I know that she annoys you! And I don't care! There are a LOT of people that drive me crazy, and I still tolerate them, because I know how bad it hurts to have someone treat you like you're annoying, and not worth their time. It's not fun, I would never do that to someone! What is wrong with you that makes you think that it's ok! IT'S NOT!! After you have been so mean to so many people, and it almost seems like you wanna change for the better, and then you do something like this!! UGH GUHG UGHGUHGUhs'lkdgh'sg~~~~ I can't eve put into words how disappointed I am, and how my best friend came to my house bawling, and with her heart broken, ALL because of you. It's ALL your fault, and IO know you hear that a lot, and most of the time it's exagerated but this time I'm not exagerating, it IS ALL YOUR FAULT! Just becasue someone annoys you, does not give you a reason to go out of your way and be mean to them, on purpose. I know a lot of people who hate the people that they have to be with everyday, and they can't stnad them, not at all, not even a little bit! BUT THEY DO!! The person isn't going anywhere, and they are the ones with the problem! The other person isn't doing anything to them, they arn't annoying them on purpose, they are just being themselves, you just have a problem with them being that! It's in your head that your annoyed! You just need to deal with it in a more mature way, this is not and NEVER will be the right way to go about what you did! ugh! I have to go, this isn't worth my time anymore. If you don't get that I'm mad, then you're completely retarted. Don't talk to me, unless I talk to you, and you should be so ashamed of yourself, you should be scared to talk to me, and if you try for even one second to turn this around on me, and make this about yourself and how people act this way to you, ugggggggg..you won't even wanna find out!
12 LiL Bit Of HeLp!s |
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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brokenmentality
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2005 14 June :: 3.23pm
keegans mom just bought me a bike..... *laughs.
for my birthday, so me and keegan can ride bikes together... awww, she loves me! *smiles.... i love that woman..
ahh.. i cant belive she just bought me a bike!!!! hehehe..... im so happy! i havent had a bike since i was like 11.... now i can leave keegan in the dust... since he's to cool to get a normal bike and will be stuck on his little "trickster" pshhh... whatever doll, you're goin down... thats right.....
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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swimfan14
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2005 14 June :: 7.30am
Don't expect me to say sorry, because I'm not.
You want me to tell you everything is okay but it's not. I don't care what your going through anymore or how you feel because you sure as hell didn't care about me.
.....and the thing is, if I hadn't caught you, I'd still love you.
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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brokenmentality
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2005 14 June :: 2.12am
*giggles
i find it funny when girls who are having sex get all defensive about "stupid girls" who get themselves pregnant...
yeah.. that kind of makes you one of them
if you're mature enough to have sex, protected OR unprotected then you sure as hell better be mature enough to have a kid... what a stupid statement.
here... quick lesson.....
SEX. LEADS. TO. CHILDBIRTH.
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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brokenmentality
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2005 14 June :: 1.55am
i spent the night at alyssas last night... we talked a lot... and its nice to have a friend that actually wants to hear about my life and who actually cares whats going on and how im handeling things.... because those kinds of friends are very limited... im gonna say 2-3 tops... no counting keegan.
tonight after i got out of work, me and keegan took pats paddle boat out on lime lake (his moms boyfriend) and chased a super big bird all over it... i think he called it a herrid or a harrend... same difference... we're just talking a BIG bird... and we saw turtles... i named one myrtle.... myrtle the turtle... giggles.... oh and we rode those old school scooters down to pats too.... lol..... i was one of those deprived children who never had one... it was fun.. we were like little kids.... then we rode them back to his house, and lauren matthews was over with emma... basically i spent more time with lauren then keegan.... *shakes fist at him..... i love those girls though... we were running around in the dark, and we EVEN climbed a tree... thats right.. i dont believe there are any trees to climb on any stupid computer.... *shakes fist at him again.... long story short: i'd rather not go into it! but yay im so glad i love emma and she loves me :)
(and lauren too..... she's a cutie too..... awww.. i felt like one of the girls tonight.... why dont high schoolers climb trees and play hide and seek in the dark anymore? stupid big kids...)
yesterday me and keegan met bobby at res life in grandville... it was pretty sweet.. the ground floor (the youth room.. if thats what you wanna call it) was incredible... we're talking INCREDIBLE.... the only thing is... the drive would kill us... all the gas it would take to get down there.....
keegans birthday went really good.. i was there all day, i wish i could fully explain the day... but you wouldnt get it, and i probably shouldnt.. but it was really good.. close to perfect...
we're getting air conditioning tomorrow... there IS a god who reigns in heaven...! we've been dyin over here....
i think thats all i got....
1 LiL Bit Of HeLp! |
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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swimfan14
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2005 13 June :: 9.31pm
I went back and read through all my old entries in here and I read all the comments too and in most of my entries I never say who I'm talking about because they can figure it out themselves and anyways I could so easily go back to the begining of the year and tell you exactly what each one was about, since they don't really say who I'm talking about and I have no clue how I know what they mean but it's pretty pathetic how bad things were with us one minute, and great the next and how I could read everyones comments and they are telling me what to do and who to believe and then now after its all over and done with--those comments seem so pointless because I know the truth now and at the time they had no idea what they were talking about--and I believed them and I could tell from what entries where you made me happy, and when you made me sad. I have no point if thats what your thinking but I just thought it was sort of weird how I once made everything about you. I once did.
I don't know anything anymore. He wants to come and see me tonight before I leave, to say "goodbye".
I don't know if I could do that to you. You are one of my friends and I think it would hurt you if you knew.
Actually I think it would hurt another person too.
I can't wait around for something that I want to happen, when I know it never will. I never told you I that I wanted this, but you should just know. You don't care so I guess I'll never tell you and I guess you'll never know but one day when you finally are ready to tell me, I'm not going to be around to hear it. I don't wait.
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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swimfan14
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2005 13 June :: 12.58pm
I'm leaving tomorrow so I think I have to go to my dads house tonight so we can leave early in the morning. I'm so excited. I love vacations.
Sam Foley called me yesteday. Why, I have no clue but she is funny.
What you said was what you meant, cuz you did. It's what we need. You decided this.
I guess waiting pays off.
I have to go pack though. <3
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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swimfan14
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2005 12 June :: 11.53pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Gavin DeGraw-I don't wanna be
I am so tired. I don't know why I'm still up but I guess I will talk about my weekend or something.
Well I went to Detroit because my Aunt Lori and my cousins Lindsey and Brina all just moved into a new house so we sorta went there to "help" but it didn't really end up like that. Friday we were supposed to be there by four but it ended up being like seven. I rode with my uncle's girlfriend and my cousin Haileigh and my uncle drove down seperately. My cousin and I were really hyper in the car and we were acting so dumb and everyone was looking at us and we were pretending to make out with the windows and we were at a stoplight and this lady looked at us and she gave us the dirtiest look I've ever seen but it was so funny you just had to be there then we got there and we all went out to dinner. My Grandma, Grandpa, My uncle and his girlfriend and my cousins Lindsey, Haileigh, and Brina and me. It was so funny because my cousin Brina who is two has a fake mouse/rat and she always carries it and we went into this restuarant she was carrying it and she sat in her heightchair by me while her mom sat way on the other side of the table lol she likes me more than anyone else and anyways she was sitting there and she randomly throws the fake mouse across the resturant and it lands right next to someones table and they all looked at it on the floor and they thought it was real and they were giving gross looks and the waitress walked by and seen it and was like "OMG OMG OMG" and my cousins and I all were sitting there laughing hysterically and anyways I made Brina go get it back and she was sitting on my lap and she put it in my drink which was gross and the waitress came to fill my cup up with more water and right before she did it Brina pulled the fake mouse out by its tail it was so funny and then they have this thing at their house that is HUGE and you jump in it..its like filled with air I have no idea what its called but we went in there and it was sooo fun and then they have a pool so we went swimming and Saturday we went shopping, I got a purse from the limited and pants from hollister and we went out to lunch and then we went to DSW which has cool shoes and then later that night we went out to dinner lol (my aunt has no food since she just moved in) and we started sleeping outside in that thing you jump in but it started raining so we came in really late and then Skyler called me. I miss him. I haven't seeen him in months or talked to him in months. Sunday I helped my cousin move all her stuff into her room and then we came home and that was pretty much it and I had to drive on the way home, only half way though which was like an hour and a half. I was so tired and we stopped at the rest area so I could drive and there were all these black guys and when we pulled in im like "ooo black guys" and my dad got mad at me and im like "dad your racist" and he goes "thats right" and I got into an arguement with him because he wouldn't let me marry a black person because he doesn't think its fair to my kids to be half white and half black but I told him I wanted to marry a black person and he told me if I did then I wouldnt' be put into this will lol so I started laughing and he made me stay in the car because he thought I was going to go out and talk to them and then when he got into the car im like "look dad they are all having a picknick, I think I should go join them" and he just got even more mad at me. We argue about stupid things like that but I think black guys are hot so who cares what he thinks. Oh and my cousin Brina normally sleeps in her crib but when Im there she wont and she just cries so my Aunt was like "try and see if she'll sleep with you"so I did and she fell alseep it was so cute. It was the cutest thing ever and then in the morning none of us would get up so she sat there screaming at us and was like "GET UP, GET UP" and finally everyone was up besides Haileigh so Brina took this little shovel and started hitting her with it lol, she isn't always that cute and then I was on the phone with my mom and Brina wanted to talk to her so I put the phone up to her ear and she just had like a 10 minute conversation with my mom and she repeated 10 times how she has a pool and how her sister (lindsey) is mean to her and how she fell out of her crib the other day when she was climbing out and how she got to sleep by me and she kept saying her sister was a bitch and she cant say the word frog or froggies so instead of saying that for frog she says fuck and froggies she says fuckies so she was telling my mom about her frog and my mom didn't have a clue what she was talking about. Aww I love that little girl.
Anyways I just remembered I'm leaving for vaction in two days. I'm so excited. I have to go home tomorrow and unpack stuff from the weekend and pack stuff for my vacation.
Shut up, come back
No i didn't really mean to say that
I messed up, so what?
Yea you want me so you messed up too
If you only knew what I've been through.
I have to go though.
Much Love,
Ashley*
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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jennapie
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2005 12 June :: 11.50pm
:: Mood: excited
ok everybody!!!
If you know Julia, the girl from Germany....you can come to my house on Thursady night for a SURPRISE going away party! We're having a bon-fire for her, and we want all of her new friends to come, we know she wasn't here long, but she met a lot of people!! So if you know her and wanna see her one last time before she goes home, now is you chance! I want to see everyone there! It's at my house, and it kinda starts around 6. We're gonna have food, and volleyball and a bunch of other stuff too! SO PLEASE COME IF YOU KNOW HER, OR KNOW OF HER! lol call me or write me on here if you need anymore details.....696-3535! I wanna see you all at my house Thursday night!! you can come later too!!! it's a bon-fire goofies! We gotta wait till it's dark anyways!! lol we're gonna have fun before dark with games and stuff tho, so you don't wanna miss out on all the fun!!! SEE YA THURSDAY!
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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jennapie
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2005 12 June :: 12.14am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: 23~Jimmy Eat World
so today, I went to 12 open houses. it was quite the day I must say so, we were all over the place, and we ended up at Luke's house for a bon-fire, but ended up playing euchre the whole night. It was wonderful. But anyways, I have to work tomorrow from 11 till 4. and it's SO hot! oh well, ya do what ya gotta do I guess, and it's money, so whatever.
I say whatever about everything these days, do I really not care about anything that much!!!! geesh! That seems sad. I guess I just don't know what to care about though. Nothing seems important enough at the moment.
Well, I've decided that it just must not be meant to be. I thought that it was, but I guess I was wrong. It isn't going to happen, especially when it always goes around me before it comes to me, and most of the time, it will NEVER come to me, so I don't know why I even try. I guess college is a whole new ball game...as they say.....so we'll see what that brings. and nobody will be coming home with me until it's a sure thing, and for that I am certain.
I guess I should go to bed, since I do have to work tomorrow, but I'm just not tired most of the time, but I'm so bummed right now, I don't think anything that I could do would bring me any amusement. Unless....no no no!!!bad!!!
ok....night.
call me ok, or come and see me at work.
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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brokenmentality
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2005 11 June :: 4.59pm
awww.. its my keegans birthday...
and awww... he's standing right behind me....
*giggles...
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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swimfan14
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2005 10 June :: 12.34pm
I'm leaving in an hour or so. I'm happy though, I need to get away from here for a while. This weekend will be awesome. I'm coming back on Sunday or Monday and then on Tuesday I'm leaving for a few weeks to go on vacation! It's about time to get out of here.
The grossest thing happenend to me today. I was walking downstairs to my room and my dog must have threw up at the bottom of the stairs and I didn't see it so I stepped in it. I thought I was going to die, I started freaking out. It was gross and I washed my foot for like 10 minutes straight.
Anyways I have to finishing cleaning my house and packing.
<3 Ash
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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jennapie
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2005 10 June :: 10.19am
this is so gay, why, everytime I wake up....the first thing that I think about is you? and why is the second thing I think about is what you would do if I kissed you? Would you kiss me back or be like what the heck get away from me, don't ever do that again? I guess I'll never know. ugh ugh ugh!
1 LiL Bit Of HeLp! |
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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swimfan14
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2005 10 June :: 3.12am
:: Mood: tired
he'll never be replaced.
I want to tell you, really bad but I don't know what you'll say or where that will get us.
Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me too
Until the end of time
From the day I met you
I know we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compares to feel enough to kisses
I can say i'm truly happy to the same
You've made me think I'll die and live my life hesitate
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That i'll regret ever having you by my side
But if the day comes that i'll have to let you go
I think that something I should probadly let you know
With everything that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cuz i'm happy that i have you at all
I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time
I promised you that you'll never be replaced.
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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brokenmentality
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2005 9 June :: 11.22pm
we went to the beach today.... im fried.
that rarely ever happends....
LiL BiT Of HeLp!
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