<font="Impact">WAR IS OVER <br> <fontsize=

:: 2005 2 August :: 2.51pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Where have all the Cowboys gone - Paula Cole

Well...Karl's comin this weekend so Yay! Mom and dad have to go to Illinois for some classes for the fire department so they might drag me along and have him go there instead of five million miles to my house and we'll just hang out at the hotel or where ever while they're away...hehehe...
No get your heads outta the gutters, he's bringing a friend so we're gonna be supervised...heh
Anyway! omg he decided to buy me a little ribbon thing...like the "Support our troops" one, only it's black and says "Support Road Head" ...yeah...i'm so kickin his ass for that. He also bought me a shot glass (i collect them) but he got it from Spencers, And he won't tell me what it says so I'm kind of scared of it...
Anyway, i'm pretty tired of typing so i'm gonna go
Rach

:: 2005 31 July :: 11.50pm
:: Mood: In love
:: Music: The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

Friday we went and got bunk beds so that Taylor and Trevor could share a room (to begin with Trev just had a little bed in mom and dads room) and so we had to clean Tay's room to get them in there...Yeah, that was an unforgettable process. Mom ended up getting pissed off and told Tay that she couldn't be in the back room anymore (her room is at the very back of the house secluded from all the others pretty much) and informed us that she and I would be switching rooms. So, this weekend we painted, laid new flooring and did a ton of shit to make it mine, though it's still not done and we don't even have all of our crap out of eacthothers rooms. Kind of depresses me because I had a HUGE ASS room and now I have the smallest one in the whole fucking house and it's not even big enough for all of my shit so I have to have five million little shelves to stow the crap away. Yay. Bullshit. I am so fucking pissed right now, but the rooms an awesome color. It's like a lime green on the top, and then a darker shade of green on the bottom and then we're tying pink in with it all. Karl thinks it sounds gross, but it's awesome and he can suck a left nut.
...lol no not really. I love him.
Of course the subject gets turned to him, lol.
He told me that he loved me in 4 different languages. lol it was so sweet and cute. Hmm he makes me happy.
He's coming down this weekend!! I really hope my rooms done by then so that I can kick him in the ass with it.
Ah, I had to go from a full size bed to a flippin twin size. This kills me because...well I pretty much sleep spread eagle and take up the whole bed. Not no more, now I have to sleep in a little straight line. Sucks ass.
Hmm ok, I kind of want to go watch The Notebook and cry so Later hosers
Rach

:: 2005 30 July :: 9.34am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Hungry Eyes - Eric Carmen

So it's already after nine and I have yet to have my 2 cups of morning coffee. I'm dying here....

Karl called Thursday and they (not that I know for sure who "they" are) decided not to deploy (sp) him in September, so he's mine until November or December. Made me extreamly happy. I finally cried too. I laid in bed and listend to "Wake me up when September Ends" by Greenday All damn day Thursday...or at least until he called at 5:00. Yep. We can just say that I wasn't a pretty sight :s

Last night I went out with Johanna and Brooke. Well, not really going "out". We went and pigged out at Jo's house because her dad cooked five thousand pounds of food for us (gotta love Mr. Baker...) and then we watched Euro Trip because Brooke had never seen it (or a penis...poor girl) and she about died, and then we went and hung out up town for an hour and the guys in our class killed Jo and I for bringing Brooke out with us. She's our youth leaders daughter...yeah...lol she's attempting to be a rebel, and since Johanna and I are wonderful at it (Ha...) we're showing her the ropes. Nothing bad...yet. Just a few "accidental" slips of the tongue. Hmm sometimes I love my life. lol. Horrible I know, but she's my cousin so it's alright, the worse that could happen is a family fight. Boy could this get interesting....
Anyway, Caleb kept grabbing my chin for some reason, so I finally just grabbed his and he Freaked out. He was like "Oh my fucking God!! I'm going to tell your damned boyfriend!!" and every one just kind of stood there and looked at him like he was retarded and then Jakob was like "dude...she just touched your chin" and Caleb goes "What Ever man, she freakin molested my face!!!" and then we all laughed. It was quite wonderful. Anyway, I got home a little after one, was in bed by two, and then had to freakin get up at seven. Yep, I'm a little tired...and I still aint had my coffee, so I figure I'll go get that now.

wonderelf

:: 2005 27 July :: 3.53pm

...haven't been on in forever. i've been caught up in myspace.

oh, yeah - and i've been in freaking europe half of it...no computer access so boo-hoo :x i wouldn't have wasted my time online anyways!

:: 2005 27 July :: 11.58am
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: Come Home Soon - SHeDAISY

Last night I pretty much died.

Karl told me that he signed up on a list to head out for Iraq some time in September, because he assumed that if he heads out earlier, he would get back earlier...Apparently the game isn't played like that. So he leaves in September and he will get back some time next December. Basically I started bawling and he was like "Oh shit, Rachel, baby, I'm sorry, please don't be mad, don't cry, I'm so sorry" blah blah blah, I get myself under control in a few minutes and then we carried on with the conversation...or he did. I didn't really do much talking after that because I knew I would start crying again. He had to go like 5 minutes later though, so I figured I'd get to unleash my tears and cry myself to sleep...but the tears never came and then I felt bad because I felt like I should be crying but I couldn't get myself too. I know that sounds dumb, and I suppose it is but oh well. I still haven't cried anymore. I want to be there when he gets sent out. I think you can be there...that would make sense, but I don't know. I'm definitly gonna be there when his ass gets sent back home though.
God I hope nothing happens to him over there. I would curl up and turn into a fuckin little vegetable.
_me_

3 !@#%$ | imagine

:: 2005 26 July :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: the decemberists - clementine

okay, so i'm attempting to update. i'm dead tired right now. i have to be on the road to grosse pointe by 7:45 to get my knee x-rayed and all that fun stuff because apparently i hit it pretty damn good. in other news, my hand is bruised from punching a kid in the head. so all you hardcore, and "gangstas", you are not cool, you do not really get into fights, you do not carry "nines" and just because you wear all black you are not "hxc". i listen to the music, you don't see me trying to act all scene. okay, so the story behind the punching. for some reason some i pissed off some kid in my sub, so i get hit to the ground, and i come up swinging. quick fighting ensues. he punches me in the head, which still really hurts like hell. so i punched him so hard that my hand is now bruised. so i ran after landing that good punch. i was afraid his friend's were going to come and then i'd get my ass gang beaten. so even though my body is usually in some sort of injury, i still manage to live every day. unless its broken or bleeding a lot, then its okay. yeah. well i'm tired so i'm going to sleep.

:: 2005 26 July :: 11.37am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Sugar - Trick Daddy / Ludacris

We have Bible School this week at church, and I'm in charge of music. Yep, me and my "wonderful" voice trying to get little kids to sing along with me. It's actually going a lot better than I tought it would. Last night was the first night and they all liked the songs and got hyped up and stuff so I suppose the week could go better than once thought. I'm usually just a troop leader, so I didn't have to get the kids hyped up, I just had to drag them from class to class and yell at them for being loud in the hallways. I'm good at yelling.
This year I forgot to sign up for that so I got hit in the ass with music. Yay...

Anyway, though I didn't think it was possible, I'm falling even More in love with Karl as each day passes. He always says that he's an asshole and he doesn't know why I love him, or even like him, and then I yell at him and tell him he aint an asshole and that he's sweet and blah blah blah, so it is now his goal in life to piss me off so much that I call him an asshole. He's so messed up...but I like it. He hasn't even made me mad yet, I just laugh at him and ... yeah, it's wonderful lol. He really is a sweetheart though, at least to me. I admit that he can be an asshole to other people, but I won't tell him that.... hmm. Oh, his sister is getting into Nascar, like she has to go to college for like 2 years but then she has to go to the actual Nascar college (i think...) and she's already got accepted to it and I don't know, it's like this big deal so it's really cool, but anyway, she's gonna go meet all these Nascar drivers and crap in .. November...I think...anyway, it's in Vegas, and Karl's gonna go and he wanted me to go with him and so of course I told him I would, but then we remembered that oops, I'm still in school...but I told him that I'll just skip a week or whatever. We can miss up to eight days, but he told me that he wouldn't let me do that and freaked out but we'll just see about that...haha. anyway, we would go through Arizona because that's where he used to live and I think that's where his Grandpa lives, and he absolutly adores his Grandpa which I think is so cute, he always talks about him and so I cain't wait to meet him, anyway, we would then go to Utah and do all that stuff and then head out with his family to Vegas...at least that's the way I think it would happen. I'm not sure. But yeah, I already asked dad about it and he is now in the proccess of "thinking about it" so we'll see how that goes. He's wrapped around my finger, I'll probably get my way.
Oh my freakin gosh, the other day Taylor was like "So...are you pregnant?" I kind of just stood there and looked at her for a minute before I really got what she said and then I was like "What?! Oh My Gosh!!! Why would I be pregnant?!" and she was like "Well...you and Karl had sex didn't you?" I was like "Holy freakin cow Taylor, No!!" and she was like "oh...yeah ok, I believe that" and walked away. I was like holy shit...so I had to go and get her to actually believe me because we Didn't have sex and she's a freakin psycho and already planning my wedding and picking out our kid's names and all this weird stuff...she is a spaz.
It's pretty much a sure thing that we're going to get married though. We've already talked about it and stuff, and we both want to live in Montana, so that works, we've talked about our house too. He want's to build a cabin, which is Wonderful, I've always wanted to live in a little (ok not so little) cabin and so I'm excited. Hopefully nothing will happen to screw up our plans though.
He has to leave for Iraq no later than December 31 so that completely kills me, and I really don't want that to happen because I'm gonna be a wreck. I'll be crying during school and everything and it'll just be horrible.
Anyway, I do believe I'm done rambling for right now, so I shall scoot...ok yeah, I could so keep going on, but I'm starving so no.
Rachel

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:: 2005 24 July :: 11.04pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Her Space Holiday - The Luxury Of Loneliness

i wrote this about a year ago, while listening to a lot of her space holiday and saves the day.

leaves, trees, colors, park benches, sweaters, hugs, holding each other, crisp days, warm together, college football, apples, cinammon, nutmeg, pumpkins, orange, red, yellow, black, grey, rain, cold, blankets, fireplaces, long drives in my car, notebooks, cameras, orchards.
homecoming dances and new romances
first kisses and best wishes
long drives home and hours on the phone
ups + downs and time spent along
random pictures and quiet whispers

:: 2005 24 July :: 1.54pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Houston Calls - Amtrack Is For Lovers

advice for the day: don't go running today

i feel like shit now, my run today really took it all out of me. so i got up at 6 this morning. saw a pretty amazing sunrise from my patio. [insert saves the day song here]. so i watched the end of the tour de france, as i always have. kinda sad to see the end of it, more sad to see armstrong retire from it. it was a pretty crazy storm this morning. its hot as hell now. and i have just eaten a whole large pizza. i feel full and i don't really want to do anything now. i hit my knee coming down the stairs last night, and running on it today seemed to make it hurt a lot more. so today i'm thinking about just sitting on my couch with ice on it, read my books and maybe watch some movies.

:: 2005 23 July :: 12.09am
:: Music: finch - stay with me

so i pretty much saw the coolest, most interesting thing ever tonight. i was driving home from erinn's tonight. on 22 mile at around garfield there are a few green houses. so they are dark, and there is a full moon illuminating the tops of them. it was so cool looking, just these sillouettes illuminated by the moon. its hard to explain, but it was really neat looking. yeah, i'm tired so i'll write more tomorrow.

:: 2005 21 July :: 2.55pm
:: Music: What she's doin' now - Garth Brooks

Karl was asking for a pass for this weekend and his sargent told him to draw a map of where he's going. ok...apparently i live 43 miles to far away. Yeah...he ended up getting in trouble because he had been here before and so now I feel bad. I told him as much and he was like "no, it's not your fault and it's fine." and whatever, but I still felt really bad.
Last night I went to Tessi's and I told mom that I was going to spend the night, but apparently she forgot and so at like 11:30 dad called her house and like freaked out because they "didn't know where I was" and all this stuff but once I told him that I had told mom they were cool with it and then suddenly mom remembered and ahh it was crazy. Anyway, that's when I first found out about the whole Karl deal. I started bawling because I thought he was going to get de-ranked and that he was going to have to do like five million hours of PT (physical training) for it and dad was like "Rachel, calm down he'll probably just have to do kitchen work" and then I started laughing inbetween the sobs because I remembered on "In the Army Now" when Pauly Shore had to peal all them potatoes. Ahh I felt so horrible and I ended up crying myself to sleep. Yeah it really sucked.
Anyway, this morning Tessi and I went up to the Ag. building to talk to Mr. Roller (ag teacher, ffa advisor) and so now he's forcing us to go pick corn at 7 in the morning so that's just wonderful...not. It really sucks because it's supposed to get up to 104 tomorrow. Yeah, we're gonna have like five million heat strokes. Yay!! Go FFA!!....bullshit. I cain't believe I let them talk me into being in it. It's fucking bullshit. It is "The Thing to Do" around here. EVERYONE is in FFA. God damn whores.

So that is that and I want to go sleep now. We fell asleep with like five fans going in her room, plus it was really cold because of the a/c, And I cried forever so now I have a wonderful cold. Karl made fun of me because I got a cold in the middle of the summer. Well, he didn't exactly make fun of me, he was just like "What?! how the hell do you get a cold in the middle of the summer?!" blah blah blah. It was indeed interesting. lol it's like a sneezing cold (which sucks saggy scrotums) but I really don't like sneezing around other people because I have a retarded sneeze and it's really high pitch and ehh, but not sneezing kept making me have to cough, and that's even worse, and then my throat was scratchy and my nose was runny...basically it was a really bad time for me to be on the phone because I was disgusting.
Anyway, I will Now go to sleep

I just realized that I said suck saggy scrotum. I do believe I like that. Hmm.. makes me happy.
Rachel

:: 2005 20 July :: 2.28pm
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: I break things - Erika Jo

So if all goes well tonight Jacob, Tylor, Tessi and I will go watch either War of the Worlds, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Fantastic Four, or Dark Water.
We still have to get permission...but that's not the point, we cain't decide which one to watch. I really want to see Fantastic Four, but I Also love Johnny Depp and want to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Speaking of Chocolate, my mom spells it Chokolat. I know I can't spell everything right, but that tickles me....anway back to the point...
I really don't want to watch Dark Water because frankly I hate scary movies.
Anyway, Tylor's a pain in the ass (though I love the fart) and he has to be difficult and watch something that Tessi Jacob and I don't want to watch (Dark Water...go figure) and so it will be a long day trying to decide this.

Hmm....pretty much that's it. I'm hungry but nothing really sounds good. Today sucks, but it just got better because a Kenny Chesney song just came on so I'm gonna go dance. Later hosers
Rach

:: 2005 19 July :: 2.24pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Whiskey Lullaby - Allison Krouss / Brad Paisley

Karl's coming down this weekend so now I'm happy.

I ain't talked to Kell in forever, but he is a working man now.

I really want to watch Fantastic Four. It looks so damn good, and I love Julian McMohn .. I think that's how you spell his last name. Anyway, for those of you who don't know him, he's the bad guy...I think the doctor. AND he's Cole in Charmed. Love him.
Anyway, I was up talking to Karl until like 2:30 last night so I'm tired and I'm gonna go take a nap. Yay! sleep is so wonderful
Rachel

6 !@#%$ | imagine

:: 2005 16 July :: 11.47pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Tourniquet - Evanesence

Around 4 I went to Tessi's to watch movies and crap with Jacob, Tylor and her. So we're all sitting around talking when Tessi decideds she wants to play a song on the organ. Ok...we all go into her sun room (where the organ is) and then Tylor like pinches her butt and she flips out and they start like killing eachother and then like as soon as it began they were done and we were all trying to do some moves from Dirty Dancing because Tessi and I happen to be obsessed with that movie, and so we're all dying because we cain't dance and we Expecially cain't dance like that, so we decided to head on back to Tessi's room. Tylor yet again touches Tessi's ass and they basically had foreplay for about...oh an hour. It was really funny because they were like killing eachother while trying to pinch/slap/bite each others ass. Around 7 we have to go get the pizza we ordered and so we all cram into Tylors TINY little 3 seater truck. I like broke my hip into 5 pieces because I had to sit basically on the door and yeah it was great. So we get into town and we see the cop car up ahead of us so we all decided that Jacob should duck down and pretend like he's not there. Tylor drives a standard and so he was like killing Jacob by doing something...I think with the clutch or something, I don't know, but he kept giving us whiplash and making Jacob hit the dash with his head. It was rather hilarious. We finally get back to Tessi's (safe from the cop) and just as we all pile out Jakob comes driving up. He flips out because we don't have any "good" pizza. We have one supreme (sp) and then one that's half pepperoni and half cheese and black olives. We listen to him bitch for ever about how we're disgusting and then he makes him self some ravioli. We all finally get situated and put in "Cursed" which was basically the stupidest movie that I've seen in awhile. It had a few suspenseful moments, but other than those 2 times, it was shit. We then put in "Hide and Seek". It was a bit better....only I didn't get to see the end because freakin mom and dad had Ashley come get me. I had about 45 minutes left to watch. Last time I was at Tessi's I got about 30 minutes into it and then I had to go. Apparently I'm just not ment to watch this movie. oh, now that I'm on the subject, Dakota Fanning is a creepy little kid.
Anyway, now here I am.
Karl called me last night completely shit faced. It was so funny, he like died just trying to sit up. He was outside laying on the side walk and then decided he should move to the gazebo or Something like that, I don't even know. Then he almost killed himself going inside and walking up the stairway. It was really funny, but for a minute I was like "ok...why the hell is he calling me when he's drunk as hell?" but then I decided it was alright so I didn't say anything. I'd rather him be on the phone with me than off doing...something else. Hmm anyway, he finally got up to his room, but we always get cut off when he's in his room, so he has the brillian idea to move his bed near his window. It was the loudest thing ever oh my gosh it killed my ears, but then he was happy and he laid down. I am so surprised that he didn't fall asleep on me, he sount so out of it. Anyway, he called me at seriously 12:57 today and he had Just waken up. He hadn't even gotten out of bed yet, and he didn't for quite awhile. He was drawn by the sandwich material eventually though, so he had to get up. One of his friends walked into his room and was like "oh my god what the fuck happend to your room?!" and he was like "uh...I don't really know, I woke up and it was just like this". Yep, the smarty didn't even remember doing it. ooh I laughed so hard, it was quite wonderful.

Anyway, I gotta get up and go to church in the morning and I'm pretty tired at the moment so I do believe I'm gonna try to talk myself into moving out of this chair and into bed, so goodnight.
-Rachel

1 !@#% | imagine

:: 2005 16 July :: 12.05am

Tepes
impaler: impaled; exsanguinated; ashes cast out to sea. as early morning comes, the pyre winds down and lights die out but the sun doesn't rise above the shore. its stalling amber rays (as memory would serve the spectators' eyes) ebbed and flowed, in- and exhaled.

~~all in all, the price you'll pay isn't worth the cost. it's so sickening seeing you crawl, but now we're complete.~~

a starboard ray, reborn, connects the ends of the world. the former flicks its tongue; exchanges soot for blood, sediment for flesh,
entropy for existence.

where's the mask to match the rest? the curtains draw closed, the lights fade in and the stage divorces the man from the cast. and, though they've barely scratched the surface of you, i've always understood, as you know me.
we are the choices we make.

to whom it may concern,
_{you've changed, you've turned. your fangs may have dulled, but i know how they were.} you stole a part of mine, i stole a part of yours. is there some sort of grand design in your little world or do you just let it all randomly unwind? the gears don't turn, but i see how they run.

i stole a part of yours and you stole a part of mine, but that still doesn't make this all alright.

i'm sorry.

:: 2005 14 July :: 11.54am

So Tessi isn't coming over this weekend, and I don't think Karl gets to come down either because his sargent left and he has to get a pass from her...but I think he said he could get it from some other sargent but...yeah I got confused so I'll stop pretending like I have any idea what's going on.

Anyway...I kind of want a bacon sandwich so I suppose I shall leave and go indulge myself.
Later
Rachel

I love Karl!!

:: 2005 13 July :: 11.55pm

Every Breath You Take
Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break,
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play,
Every night you stay
I'll be watching you

Oh, can't you see
You belong to me?
My poor heart aches
With every step you take

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake,
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace
I dream at night, I can only see your face
I look around, but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold, and I long for your embrace
I keep crying baby, baby please

Oh, can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake,
Every claim you stake
I'll be watching you
Every move you make,
Every step you take
I'll be watching you
Every move you make,
Every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bone you break
Every step you take
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
Every move you make
Every heart you break
Every smile you fake
Every thing you stake
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take

3 !@#%$ | imagine

:: 2005 13 July :: 1.43pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: Eyes wired shut - Edgewater

alrighty then...
basically nothings really happend. talk to karl almost every day on the phone, and he should be coming back down this weekend. it'll be weird though because Tessi has to stay over because Uncle Larry and Aunt Diane are leaving for some float trip with their church and Tessi didn't want to go. Mom said that Tessi might have to stay with someone else because she doesn't think that it would be fair to Karl if I'm preoccupied with Tessi and though that's true, I really don't think he would mind, or that she would mind or whatever so I don't know yet.
Um...Doug turned sixteen finally, but that was on the eighth so that's old news. He went to Disney Land for his birthday. Yeah. I guess it's fairly convenient since he Does live in California...but anyway.
Hmm...oh, Tessi likes Tylor, but it's basically impossible to read Tylor because he's just a freak like that and he kissed her and they ended up making out for a while and then the next day he acted as though nothing had happend and now Tessi's basically dying and going insane so I've been hearing about this for the past 4 days. It's quite wonderful...yeah. lol Jacob's freaking out too because Tessi's talking to him about it too, she keeps 3-waying us and bawling and I feel bad for her but I cain't really do anything about it. I don't know, I love her and she puts up with me going on about Karl so I'll just continue listening to her. It's pretty interesting anyway.
lol Ashley's been freaking out on me lately because I'm "mean to her". ha. damn right I am, she's an asshole. She tells Taylor and I that mom said we have to do all this shit when really mom told her that it was her job to do it. She does that all the time and it pisses me off. If I were to even Attempt to do that my ass would be so dead. She's been freaking out because of college and all her finances. She needs to freakin calm down, get some balls, and pay for her own insurance so that mom and dad will stop freaking out and pay for mine. God, mom and dad still pay for her gas. How bogus is that? she's got like five million jobs and I have none... yeah.
I am looking into getting a job in town though. I really do Not want to be a waitress, but so far that's about how things are looking. I don't know, I'm just really not a people person so I'd rather just do paper work all day. That would make me happy. I don't really like talking to people because people suck.
Back to a good subject, I cain't wait until Karl comes back down. He does this thing while we're kissing, he like sucks on my bottom lip...hmm it's heaven. Good stuff. Cain't wait to see him though.
Rachel

:: 2005 9 July :: 11.03am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: zella mayzell - clatoo vereta nictoo

so i'm trying to figure out what to write. i got my new ACT score back, i got a 24 again, but i got a 29 in reading and science, so i'm happy. apparently i'm in the top 4% of the nation for science, its amsuing. so now my mom is asking me why i got a B in chem all year....yeah, i don't like to do homework. i get my zella mayzell cd sometime next week, i'm excited for that. my brother was asking me if i had talked to andrew anytime recently (andrew is the singer of zella mayzell, he also makes music and other videos) no, i haven't because he has been busy promoting the cd and i've been busy with other random things. also, use this website if you want to know what music i am listening to at the time. its kinda fun. http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/iamjackssn26/
so since i have to go and mow the lawn, i'll leave you with an elliott smith song which happens to be my voicemail also.

i'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
who's still around the morning after
~~we broke up a month ago and i grew up i didn't know~~
i'd be around the morning after
it's always been wait and see
a happy day and then you pay
and feel like shit the morning after
but now i feel changed around and instead falling down
i'm standing up the morning after
situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later
and i could be another fool or an exception to the rule
you tell me the morning after
crooked spin can't come to rest
i'm damaged bad at best
she'll decide what she wants
i'll probably be the last to know
no one says until it shows and you see how it is
they want you or they don't
say yes
i'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
who's still around the morning after

1 !@#% | imagine

:: 2005 6 July :: 5.10pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: American Baby - Dave Matthews Band

alright, karl came down on saturday and stayed until monday morning. it was the craziest weekend of my life. he brought a friend with him to keep him awake because he sat out on his little 9 hour journey at midnight. yep. made me feel bad because he basically got no sleep for 4 days. we cat napped and stuff but that was pretty much it. i got no sleep for only 2 days. ha.
um...yeah. we sat around and watched old movies and cuddled and ... oh! lmfao we had a little fourth of july deal up at the church and they had to go to it. it was so awkward but it was funny. and then they had to go to a birthday party at my grammas. trevor beat the shit out of him and clark (the guy that came with him) and that was quite amusing.
found out that he gets shipped out to iraq in a few months so that killed me...oh, nope. sorry kell, that slays me.
anyway, im gonna keep all the yummy details to myself...lol.
Rachel

:: 2005 6 July :: 3.11pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: coldplay - songbird

so the past few days have been awesome, but i don't feel like writing it out now, because i'm lazy, but i will sometime. what is really amusing is how i have managed to piss of my coach is pretty much every way possible. all the "rules" he told me end of sophomore year track about cross-country, yeah, i've broken pretty much all of them, but i don't care. its too much fun. i'll list the rules that i remember, you figure out which i've broken

1. run all year round
2. don't drink mountain dew
3. don't go to sleep late
4. don't sleep in
5. show up to manditory practice
6. show up to summer and winter practices
7. just plain show up to practice (i added it because i don't go to practice anymore)
8. have 250 miles in before the summer is over
9. be a good example for the underclassmen
10. trust him because he knows what he is doing

i forgot a lot, but you get the idea. my mom knows about all this and was told me "you really are a senior now eric". what is great is that she doesn't care what i do with cross-country. i don't even want to run this year. i'm just using it to keep in shape for track. i'm going to take it slow, relax and enjoy the fall colors when i run.

:: 2005 5 July :: 1.02pm
:: Mood: mischievous
:: Music: northstar - to my better angel

okay, so i figured i'd write this because i'm a senior now and there are a lot of new people on cross-country. i'll start with the cross-country camps.

coach blunk likes to say that they are fun, they are not. do you like being in your hotel room most of the day with 11 other guys? you will be bored and the most fun you will have is with the other guys and the crazy stuff that happens with that. i hope you're friends with some of them. i hope you like to shave, if you grow facial hair quickly...then you're fucked my friend. coach will not allow you to have any facial hair, i shaved in a sink right before we went running most days. so waking up at 6 in the morning after going to sleep at 1 and having to shave, it doesn't turn out too well. so now i think i'll list somethings that you will miss

1. a hot shower longer than 2 minutes
2. good food - you will eat at the cheapest resturants coach can find
3. your own bed...minus your bedmate - and if he steals the covers...your just plain fucked again.
4. phone calls - if you have a girlfriend, you will miss her because you won't be talking to her for 6 days. (fuck that)
5. privacy - you will be spending a week with 11 other guys, privacy is non-existant. remember, you signed up for this.
6. rest - you will not sleep much, you are running twice a day. if you do fall asleep during the day someone will call your cell phone asking for muhhammad (peronal experience)

the only fun i had was with my friends. i did not have fun when we ran during the runs. i had more fun when we explored shit. you may hear stories about how i almost died like 6-8 times during that week and you will here coach say stuff about how if i didn't have bad luck then i would have no luck at all. think of it this way, i'm still alive mother fuckers, i haven't died yet, nor have i been maimed or disfigured. so i think i've got some pretty damn good luck.

okay, so now i'll write about coach. he coached my dad when he was in high school, my dad graduated in 1981. he uses the same ideas on running that he learned back then, yes they are outdated. ice does not heal all things. nor does streching and icing everything make everything better. rest IS a good thing. 75 miles a week is a bad thing. once you join cross-country, coach expects you to run 365 days. think christmas gives you a day off? nope, coach will give you the "if you were really dedicated" speech. think birthdays are another? no, i had to pack and work on mine and leave after to go to wisconsin. injuries are no excuse either, unless you are fully bedridden, coach wants you running. the only thing coach jokes about is how many laps or minutes you have left, and that shit is not funny. being dead tired is not a good excuse, unless you are about to die from exhaustion, you will have to run or do something. if something bad happens, it is always your fault, you did something wrong, all blame is on you.

:: 2005 2 July :: 9.12am
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: elliott smith - waltz #2

so its july 2nd, and i'm in a hoodie and pants at the moment, because someone has opened up all the windows in my house while i was sleeping, therefore making my house very very cold. not that i don't like the cold, but not when i first wake up, i like to be warm in bed. the past few days have been cool. i ran every morning too, stupid me. i'm taking today off, i'll increase the distance of my run tomorrow. i'll write more later, i need breakfast.

:: 2005 30 June :: 10.03pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Heart Breaker - Pat Benetar

i talked to karl tonight!! he was talking about how he's broke because of plane tickets but then he says that he bought a truck...yeah...lol. anyway, he's all prepared to drive down here, he just has to get a pass from the army people. anyway, he called me on his way to Hooters. Yep. i was like "well,i hope you have fun..." and he was like "Oh! no, i'm just going because im the one getting conned into driving the guys there" or something like that. it made me laugh. it doesn't really bother me, i mean hey, anymore you go out into the street and you see girls dressed like the ones at Hooters.
*sigh*
oh, anyway, we were talking and then the damned fire phone cut into our conversation and when that happens it automatically hangs up on the other person and so i didn't even get to hear an "i love you" tonight. god damned fire phone can eat shit. anyway, he didn't call back but then again he was on his way somewhere...so yeah.
anyway, i'm done with this. later
Rachel