the men up there dont like a lot of blabber...
they think a girl who gossips is a bore
yes, on land its much preferred
for ladies not to say a word
after all, what is idle prattle for?

com'on they're not all that impressed with conversation,
true gentlemen avoid when they can
but they dote and swoon and fawn
on a lady who's withdrawn
its's she who holds her tongue who gets her man

Sitting. Did some work on one of my new characters today, and that was fun. Other than that, I may start work on a new drawing tonight to pass the time. I need something to do, and at least one or two of my new characters should be put down visually.
My parents are watching television tonight, which is an improvement on last night because they don't have any wine this time. My mother gets nasty when she's had one or two. Can't handle her firewater, that one. So, there is a moderate amount of peace about the house. Just the same, I'm probably going to retire out to my room at nine o'clock. Last night I went to bed before I was tired more or less as a way of cutting my losses and leaving before things got too chaotic.

Four days. Three if you don't count today, and then I can see Brian again. Of course, we may not speak before then, but I'll just keep updating my journal and whatever.

He replied with a comment after I had called him this morning. I called at about 1pm, so that he would in all likelihood still be asleep. At least that way I knew he would be home.
His note is as follows:


*heavy sigh*

I don't know about you, but for me, there's nothing like the unavoidable feeling that you've erred in a way that can only be repaired by means of someone else's goodwill. Particularly when the person in question is someone important. Knowing that the only reason you aren't eternally condemned is because someone decided you were worthy of forgiveness is a very hard reality to face, particularly when you yourself aren't entirely certain of whether or not you necessarily deserve any sort of sympathy.

The unfortunate fact of the matter is that I have erred magnificently. In my own thoughtlessness, I have given the most important person in my entire life, the one into whom I invest the most of myself without feeling like I have ever given anything away, the impression that some other possibility might be true. I have failed to uphold my ultimate goal--making you feel like the most important person in the world--and the fact that I would let my own selfishness and inattentiveness create an issue like this in the first place is a devastating blow to my own sense of self-integrity.

In short, I'm sorry beyond words, and I know it's been causing you a lot of frustration being unable to get ahold of me. I want you to always be happy, and at the moment, not only have I been doing nothing to make that a reality, but I have been actively interfering with such. I promise you I'll do my best to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen again. It kills me to be without you, and my solution thus far has largely been to drown myself in other activities just to pass the time more quickly--unfortunately, it seems like I got so involved in trying to burn up the time spent waiting to see you again that I forgot who I was waiting for.

I know you say you aren't mad anymore, but I intend to repay you three times over for my mistakes. Not really sure how yet, but I always think of something. It's my job. Besides, if I'm going to be anywhere as perfect as you are, I have a little bit of catching up to do...

Mutually obsessed,
~Brian

how time passes...