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rayray

:: 2007 10 August :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: Enraged.

If you thought your day was bad..
What needs to change:
While you do work hard, it has been observed for some time that instead of being respectful and helpful to your co-workers, you have been a major contributor to a hostile, judgemental and difficult work environment. Belittling, jabbing comments as well as rough handling of equipment and passing of material are just few examples of behavior that must stop. While you may argue about others not going enough, it is not much different than what you were able to do when you first started. You have also exhibited these types of behaviors with people not even in your work cell.

It was hoped that discussing these issues, you would take an honest look at yourself and look for ways to improve the situation. Unfortunately, right after this conversation, the same negative behaviors were displayed.

Why this is a concern
These types of behaviors are contrary to the values of GRC and undermine the teamwork required to achieve the highest of overall results. Your condescending and hostile behavior towards others is consuming several people's times on these issues and making work difficult for others on a daily basis.

What results are expected
Everyone who comes to work should expect to be treated respectfully and professionally. When issues or problems arise, we should be honest and look for ways to solve the problem and find was to achieve the highest overall result. When new people come into GRC, rather than belittling them, you should be making them feel welcomed and help them perform their job better. This may mean doing more than your share initially until they learn how to do the job efficiently.

What happens next
You need to aware that creating a hostile work environment can begrounds for immediate termination. If we do not see a dramatic difference in your behavior, termination of employment will be the immediate consequence for you.


That is a letter I recieved from the HR Director. Shannon recieved the same letter. So after reading that you'll understand how my day went. As most of you may know I have had a problem with Christine for awhile now. Things have never escalated to the point where she felt the need to tell our supervisor every little detail of every conversation. Im not trying to make myself sound better than her, or be immature and childish about any of this. However, I do not appreciate her jumping down my throat for supposedly copping an attitude. I was simply stating a true fact, and she blew up at me. It is not my fault she misconstrued that situation as well as when Stacy and Shannon hashed it out, after Stacy tried hashing it out with me. I am in no place to point fingers, because I am guilty of being rude, and judgemental. I also do not appreciated Christine telling Shannon when she first started that she better not let me meet her boyfriend because I would try and steal him. Also that I was trying to come between a supposed love affair between Brandon and Angel. I do not know where she got any of that. (For the record, and Im pretty sure all of you realize that I am very at home with Mike. I do not need another man. And I wouldn't be a susie-homewrecker and try to break people up. If people at work are having a love affair, that is their business.) I am not guilty of talking behind their backs because whatever I have to say, I willingly say it to their faces. I have a spine, and Im not going to back down. I don't lay down helpless to be kicked. I may have done that once upon a time, however things have changed.

I do not know where they got that I belittle the new hires, when the only person on the line I have said was slow, was Christine. And thats because she's been there 3 years, and still cannot keep up. When I started working there, I was told the first day by the supervisor that gossip was not tolerated, and if I didn't make rate after a certain amount of time, I would be let go. What happened to those policies?

Also, I am not offended easily, nor disturbed. But when I hear things come from Christines mouth about how her 11 year old daughter wants to get her clit pierced. Or how she found a used condom in her 13 year old daughters backpack. Or how her 17 year old sons girlfriend has a smelly pussy. I am very offended and disturbed. It is uncalled for, true or not, to say those things in the workplace. Especially about your own kids.

And trust me, I have tried telling my supervisor all of this, and it obviously hasn't gotten me anywhere. I am all out of ideas.

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rayray

:: 2007 3 August :: 11.31pm

I haven't posted anything in here for a little while now. Partly because I am completely tapped on anything I want to say. I have done enough communicating lately that I have nothing left to vent. However, the tables have turned. I am frustrated and confused. I feel like I'm being selfish on all that is going on. But its the only thing that feels right. I just wish things were different. I don't even know where to begin.

I dont understand why I can't just forget the fact that she's my mother. I don't understand anything she does. I don't get why I try. I don't get why no matter how hard I try to avoid her, or how many times I say I hate over there, I end up there. I always leave pissed off, or this time, crying because Im so upset. Its because of things I witness, things that are said or things that are done. I don't get why I can't come to terms with the fact that my mother is an alcoholic that smokes pot and prefers men over her children no matter how hard she tries to say otherwise. I have a hard time trying not to care. I do so good for awhile, and then I break because i feel bad. I hate how I can be so cold and act like no one around me exsists, yet Im always worrying about everyone. I always have something big on my mind, and I get stressed out. I honestly, do not understand my mother. At all. I truly do not understand her. And she doesn't understand me. She doesn't realize that she has hurt me.

For instance, tonight I was over there washing my car, and spending time with her, like she has wanted to do for a couple of weeks now, and Joe shows up. Granted I new he was going to come over to get rid of the bat(s) she had. Anyway, she basically ignored the fact that I was there, and made plans for her, Joe and his friend to all go back to his place. After Joe's friend asked if I wanted to come out there, she spoke up and said "oh yeah, you can go if you want". And then rushed me out.

Not to mention the fact that earlier in the week, she invited my brother to go over to my grandma's to pick out what he wanted out of her stuff, but not I. Not the one who she had just spoke with on the phone. She is giving some of my grandmothers things to Joe. She knows that I'd like a few things that belonged to my grandmother and also they were things that she knows I have said I needed for my apartment.. Apparently, I do not rate, but here I go feeling sorry for myself.

I find it quite hard to believe that the only thing that keeps me sane, the one and only thing that I didn't ever think I'd have, is the only thing that makes sense in my life day after day. I have found happiness with him. I love him entirely and I honestly would go crazy without him.

In good news, my brother-in-law is going to be a Cop. (I believe that is what my mother said. It was hard to comprehend anything she was saying).

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chelthesmell

:: 2007 25 July :: 1.12pm

Some things just make you realize who your real friends are I guess...

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rayray

:: 2007 21 July :: 9.03pm

This morning about 4 AM, I broke down.
I lost all control. It was probably for the best.
I had been a wreck all week.
I was being an irritable bitch and was hard to be around.
Im glad that I got out what I had to say.
But more importantly, Im happy that I was able to finally talk to him.
He actually seemed to care.
And he held my hand.
That made me feel whole again.
God I love him.

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rayray

:: 2007 13 July :: 9.13pm

Nothing exciting has really happened in my life.
I'm still bitter, and distant.
I doubt that will ever change.
I'm still with Mike.
And I'm very happy.
I'm currently looking for a second job.
So if you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Carley: I apologize if you recieve the same text from me a dozen times. Service in Sheridan is crap and doesn't send my texts and then when it does, they send like a dozen times.

I sliced my finger open today.
It bled quite a bit, and has bled since I've been home.
Anyway I think I am going to go get cozy in my bed, or on the couch and watch Shooter.

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liz

:: 2007 4 July :: 1.54am

yeah well fuck you guys then

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chelthesmell

:: 2007 3 July :: 3.17pm

Fuck It.
And that is exactly why I get along with guys so much better than girls. They are backstabbing bitches.


I'm done.


rayray

:: 2007 28 June :: 3.07pm

Apparently cheeseburgers from wendys are worth getting in a big fuss about.
Shannon and I had quite the experience today.
We went in the side entrance to the wendy's parking lot that clearly states drive thru and has arrows pointing the way, and we pulled up to wait our turn and this bone head in a gaudy white station wagon got out of his vehicle and says "you guys aren't going to cut are you?" and I was like "Maybe" and he replies with "The line starts behind me, I suggest you get in it".
However, we were there before he was. (Douche bag).
I was going to cut just to be an ass, but I decided that if I had, he may run into me.
So I just hung back and let him go, and he rear-ended the truck in front of him.
And the guy in the truck was like "You fucking dumb ass! That is what you get for being a total ass hole".

Unemployment and Peoplelink are trying to jew me.
Bastards can suck my anus.
Because I specifically state on my application at Peoplelink I wouldn't work second shift, or for under $8.00 an hour, I apparently do not meet michigans standards to collect unemployment.
So they are going to try and make me pay back the money I collected on unemployment in may.
But I am protesting and they can kiss my fucking ass.

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rayray

:: 2007 20 June :: 6.26pm
:: Music: Home: Daughtry

My grandmother is being transfered out of the adult care home she is in now.
I am very thankful for that.
I still don't like that she's going to be in an adult care facility, but I suppose ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
I talked to my Aunt Cheryel quite a bit over the weekend.
For about an hour each time actually, and we talked at least 3 times.

Baseball is almost over.
Thank goodness.
I do not know how much more I can take of having to deal with these kids.
They do not listen at ALL.
But I guess quite a few of them are scared to piss me off.

We have a terrible problem with ants.
They are driving me nuts.
They are the little ones too.
Bastards.
Not sure where the little fuckers are coming from being the apartment is really clean.

Anyway, I believe Im going to go clean my car out..

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chelthesmell

:: 2007 19 June :: 9.41am
:: Mood: loved

Finally Legal
Sunday is probably up there as one of the best birthdays ever.
I'm very happy.
Everything went well.
Family came over, friends came over, Olive Garden was awesome.
I had a wonderful day.
I gambled and lost everytime. Oh well, what can ya do?
Need to shower and beat some kids...bye!

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rayray

:: 2007 13 June :: 8.25pm

This has been a rough week.
I've been battling a headache for 2.5 days.
The heat is really getting to me.
The forcast shows 94 for like Monday.
With rain.
How fucking retarded.

I wish every day could be like my birthday, and the night leading into my birthday.
They were the best couple of days.

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chelthesmell

:: 2007 12 June :: 8.39am
:: Mood: excited

My birthday is in 5 days.
I'm excited.
I'll be able to do stuff, like buy ciggarettes and porn, which I will most likely never have to buy.
But I'm going to get my dad some smokes for Father's day, seems how it's that same day n all. lol.
I start waitressing at the Village Inn next week I think. Pretty sweet. That goes with the whole being 18 thing too. lol.
Idk, pretty much that's all I got for now I guess. Not much happened this week.
I did catch some fish yesterday though. pretty sweet. Tried to catch me a snake but I dont think it was hungry...

Welp I'm off. I need to apply for Finacial Aid. I should get an ass load of money from that! I'm excited!

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rayray

:: 2007 9 June :: 9.03pm

I went with my mom and my aunt to take my grandma some of her things at the adult care home.
The guy told us that while we were gone, she kept asking if he could call one of her daughters because her appointment was over.
It was extremely sad.
And then when we walked in, she kept asking when we were going to take her home.
And she'd start crying as soon as we told her that she had to stay.
She'd ask us why a dozen times.
It was so hard having her ask me that.
Her dimensia is getting worse.
She thinks that she fell this friday, and not last friday.
And doesn't understand why she's in the adult care.

It was seriously heartbreaking.
And then I come home to things out of place, my front door wide open.
I guess Im just frustrated.

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rayray

:: 2007 9 June :: 1.57pm

I had a very good birthday.
Plans changed a little bit, but it was still a very good day.
I went to the movies last night and saw Knocked up.
I thought it was pretty funny.
I didn't get to go to B-Dubs like I had anticipated, but what can ya do.
I'm not going to make a big deal of it.

My grandmother was put in an adult care facility.
Her house is going to be put up for sale.
And my uncle cut his finger off yesterday.

I don't know if I can deal with my grandma being in a place like that.
I don't know if I can go through that again.
I watched my grandma vanzoest in an adult care/nursing home facility, and it broke my heart.
It was horrible.

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rayray

:: 2007 8 June :: 1.49am

Right now I am using my new birthday gift.
I like my birthday.
My birthday gift from Michael was a wireless keyboard, mouse and speaker set.
It's fancy.
I love him!
He told me that he was going to get me the monitor I have been wanting for like ever now, but they didn't have the one I wanted.
He came home from work at like 11:30.
I don't know if it was because he had a lack of sleep today or if it's because it's my birthday.
I had a little birthday party at work.
I got a barbie cake. Its the one with the barbie in the middle and then the dress is the cake.
It was sweet.
I got an inflatable monkey.
A fuzzy pink tiara.
A fuzzy blue fan.
Scented bubbles. (Mint, Chocolate and Strawberry).
This will be one of the most memorable birthdays!
And I'm only twenty.
God, I feel really damn old. hahaha

Anyway it is time for me to go to bed so that I can get up really early and get the stuff done that I need to get done.
It's my birthday bitches!

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