Look at that monster go...

xk7x

:: 2007 6 February :: 5.38pm

woooo i found this bitch thanks to nic. hahah but i cant write my secret feelings in it cuz ppl know about it. but yeah today sucked like soo bad. i feel so depressed and i dont know why. but whatever ill deal with myself obsorbed self someday. but im going to see the blue man group with natasha should kick some asss. yeah errrg i hate the way i feel and no one will ever know. this time im keeping it inside of me because when i say things other things get ruined and for certain ppl they seem to be so called catching fire and spreading like wild ahhshahah i can compare things... i guesss. but not really
i should just go jumg off that bridge now because its always been there for me and i want to leave myself there forever so to speak. ha emo i know but you dont care. i mean i really do have memories with that brige if that makes sense to anyone but i dont care. i mean i went there to just cry so many times man and when i wanted to commit suicide there that sucked but yeah and i walked across that thing so darn much to just be in those woods and when i used to walk to toris house and ahahah just standing there and watching the stupid cars go by as i screamed at them. good times good times.

:: 2007 2 February :: 10.59pm
:: Mood: crushed

i feel so alone

and i dont fit in anywhere.

sldkfjsldkfjsdlkfjsdlkf
can i disappear now?
please...

i hate this.

:: 2007 2 February :: 8.51pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: Crystal Ball - Keane

kasdjflskdjf

so basically
i forgot what i wanted to say.

but i feel good.
life is good.
and you should feel good too.

:: 2007 2 February :: 5.24am
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: longest winter - pedro the lion

my daddies birthday is tomorrow.

im so sick of being grounded.
i just want to leave this place.

uslkdjfsklsskjfjfjfksloooplsdj

anyway, im glad its friday. i'm really starting to not like school. a lot. i just want to give up. thats bad. hmm. and i hate riding the bus yuk yuk yuk.

so basically i dont know whats going on with me anymore.
i feel like i dont know myself and i feel lost.
but i feel content too.
my stomach is twisting around and driving me crazy.

:: 2007 1 February :: 7.30pm
:: Music: you will never take me alive - the paper chase

today was... different

and i don't really know how i feel about it.
so many things came at me.

i feel happy

i feel.... new

im wearing a big grin.

:: 2007 30 January :: 6.33pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: how can i tell you - cat power

i feel like no one cares what i say or what i do
or who i am

i feel forgotten

and hated.

i feel judged and i feel like they're all mad at me.

i feel immature and gross.
i feel like a fake.
and i dont want to anymore.

i want to be me
i want to be real.

help.

:: 2007 30 January :: 5.01pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: we got to get away - caesars

learn to take a joke.

and stop assuming things about me.
im pretty fucking complicated
and its hard to read me
so dont just go around preaching how i feel
when you dont even fucking know.

but im super excited for thrusday
AHAHAHAHlkdfjslkdfjlskdfjlskd
butterflies
major.

:: 2007 29 January :: 5.26am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: the killers

if the answer is no, can i change your mind?

p.s.
Samantha had her freaking baby!
ahahahaha
ima go see it today!
yay!

:: 2007 28 January :: 11.07am
:: Music: tokyo police club

i'm scared.

:: 2007 27 January :: 4.05pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: maria taylor

i really should be writing that paper.

right now i just want to drop out.

bleh.

:: 2007 26 January :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: anticipating

I can't explain the state that I'm in
The state of my heart, he was my best friend
Into the car, from the back seat
Oh admiration in falling asleep
All of my powers, day after day
I can tell you, we swaggered and swayed
Deep in the tower, the prairies below
I can tell you, the telling gets old
Terrible sting and terrible storm
I can tell you the day we were born
My friend is gone, he ran away
I can tell you, I love him each day
Though we have sparred, wrestled and raged
I can tell you I love him each day
Terrible sting and terrible storm
I can tell you...

:: 2007 26 January :: 7.26pm
:: Mood: disappointed

this sucks.

2 white | You should..comment..

:: 2007 25 January :: 5.28am
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: The One I Love - Sufjan Stevens

i didn't know that the score you got on your IQ test depended partly on how long you took.
maybe thats why my score went down last time i took one
ahaha
i would answer a question then walk away for 5 minutes

im cool
haha

:: 2007 24 January :: 4.46pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Am I Wrong - Love Spit Love

shes like a clone.

eww.