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boricuababy

:: 2004 19 August :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Dreaming of You-Selena

this year is nothing like what i thought it was gonna start off like..
we've been in school no more than a little more than a week and i've already been hit wid so much crap that i dunno what to do with it all..it's so frustrating and stressful..and it's not only school stuff..family is playing a big part in all this too..my mom and i have talked a couple of times already about getting out of IB..i completely went against everything she was saying..i love ATL..u all kno that..just check out my bag..lol..and everybody's at ATL..so i dont wanna leave...and i was so looking foward to cheering on varsity this year too..but it's all kinda headed the opposite way..my mom said if by the end of 1st quarter..if i have any C's or D's shez pulling me out whether i like it or not..my whole thing about it all is that i dont wanna regret it in the long run and i dont wanna feel like i've wasted the past two years of my life..u kno??..and im thinking i made it this far..why not keep going??..but it goes deeper than that..family issues..blah blah blah..it's hard to understand..i know my mom is just lookin out for me but shez juss throwing all this crap at me at once..so it makes it all even more stressful..if i did get out..i'd have to go to Olympic..i REALLY dont wanna go there..i'd rather go to West Boca..but i dont even wanna get out..i do but i dont..i wanna have a life..i DONT wanna leave all my friends..especially sam amara sameen n amy..i wanna be able to get into UF..i dont wanna stay up really late doing homework every night..i dunno..maybe im making a big deal outta it..but im confused and i need to get my priorities straight

3 <3 | !!!!!!!


spinoangel

:: 2004 18 August :: 6.26pm
:: Music: jealous sound - "recovery room"

sometimes i wonder
if people can see the welling in my eyes
if they can sense the tenseness in my face
if they know how much i want to go away
if they feel me drifting far off into myself
if they can hear my heart as it falls to the ground
if they know how much i love/miss them

i wonder what could happen if i could just end it all ? is there a place called heaven, or would i just go be reincarnated and start hell on earth all over again, but this time even worse? my life is great, ya know? it really is. i just don't feel great. so many times in the day i feel more like an outsider than i have in all of high school. you think that wouldnt happen since it's junior year, but its true. i don't see my friends, and when i do, i can't truly enjoy my time with them. the only thing i look forward to during the day is going home with danielle. if not for that, i'd be sobbing into greta's shoulder everyday. but that doesnt sound too bad every now and then either. it's simply asinine and unnecessary for me to put myself down and feel like crap all the time. but i dont know. i cant help it.

just forget everything that i said and wash out the wounds.

4 <3 | !!!!!!!


dmlxoxo

:: 2004 17 August :: 11.34pm
:: Mood: shocked
:: Music: bob marley

OH MY GOD.
SCENARIO:
im working in the flair house and im writing someone up, minding my own business when someone calls my name. i turn around to see the chest of someone really tall wearing a white sweatshirt. i look up to find myself looking at who's head?
1 GUESS:










taylor.
i was so fucking shocked i cant even tell u. gorgeous and sweet as ever. wow. ugh interesting night, eh?






things are going well between morgan and i, and ive finally accomplished my number one goal: hooking up on the beach at night...4 times. NICE :)


stephs home, so excited....shes coming out on friday, even more excited.
thats all for now xoxo- dml

1 <3 | !!!!!!!


boricuababy

:: 2004 17 August :: 8.26pm
:: Mood: depressed

i am sooo fricken stressed out right nowwww

i need somebody to talk to other than my mom..and either everyonez away or people arent on..:(..guess imma hafta wait..itz no biggie

2 <3 | !!!!!!!


boricuababy

:: 2004 16 August :: 7.57pm
:: Music: Hot Boyz-Missy

omg..this week is gonna be maddd busy for meee
today i went to cheer practice..only it wasnt really a practice..we mixed and matched the uniorms we had left..and we decided to go wid the white ones for now..we're gonna buy our own tho so that'll be hott..first game is the jamboree..august 27th..go!!..lol..and we're gonna start selling spirit shirts this friday..$10..they're cute..buy one..:D..tomoro i have pictures for the football program book..and then more practice..im the main flyer this year so look out for me!!..lol..wednesday i gotta take my spanish exam..not looking foward to that one..im kinda doing bio now..err..pissing me off..i cant find the answers..gotta go read for social ant. and history..and i think we have a spanish quiz too..which sucks ass..neways..hit me up laterrzz..x0x0

1 <3 | !!!!!!!


lifesuxsodanz

:: 2004 15 August :: 3.16pm

I feel obligated to write something...
I forsee this year being terrible by all accounts I don't know why.

School is stressful...eagle-ettes doesn't officially start until next week.

When are we all to have time for each other? Between school,work,homework,SAT prep,chores,family responsibility,extra curriculars,community service...we all have so much going on. I don't see any room in that mix for friends and dating. It's depressing to see it all laid out like that.

I need to do well in school this year so badly if I fuck up now I will never get my car in january. My mom never lets me take the car I hate it. Even if she doesn't need it she's just like well its too far or i don't want you driving at night yet or w/e fuck it not like I have anywhere to go anyway.

Michelle is gone she's officially moved into her dorm. It was so sad on friday night. My parents didn't want us driving out to boca because of the storm so michelle lauren and I hung out at my house and ate junk food and watched movies for the last time. We were saying goodbye in my driveway and lauren was crying her eyes out because she always crys and we took pictures on michelles phone and remembered some inside jokes and good times and then she drove away and it was sad.

Lauren ended up crashing at my house and we woke up the next morning and went to go help kristen out with starlets. ok i did this for commnity service but its still sooo unlike me. We helped her run practice for her dance team of 7yr old girls which wasnt too bad since nicki and jenn were there too and we didn't have to do a lot just make copies and demonstrate stuff. Then nick and jenn left and kristen asked us to stay and help at the meeting for all of their parents afterwards. So we were like hell yea get more hours just for siting there but nonono. All of the kids got restless in the meeting so we had to watch them in the other room. All 24 girls plus mikes son dillan and this little kid niko. At first we just turned on a movie and it was all good then they started running around and screaming and I ended up havign to like play with them and make sure they didnt kill each other doing cheerleading stunts and gymnastics. They decided a good game was to hang all over me until i couldnt stand and then pile on top of me. I was so exhausted by the end of the day. I could so be a babysitter though I still hate them but I can handle kids a lot better than I thought. idk i have 59 hours of community service knocked out now.

lol I am just now finishing the bio summer work then I have to get something done of the other work he left us on thursday. This class is going to kill me and I am going to hate him I can see it now.

my teachers are all really goofy there is just no other word.

I had an interesting conversation with altan last night about loves marriage to tragedy among other things and an odd one with lawerence about...i don't even remember but it was random.

I'm so mad I didn't get to see garden state this weekend.

Danielle drove me home the other day in her new pimp ride lmao it was fun. I'm going to steal the car one of these days and go visit her at work.

Oh and this entry goes out to Nicki because she's fuckin awesome. She's so fuckin awesome she deserves a whole paragraph so here goes. If your ever feelin not so great just go talk to nicki and you will be laughing in no time lol she doesn't even have to try sometimes. If you ever want some great 5am phone calls she's your girl but in all seriousness she's a great friend and an awesome dancer and there's your fricken paragraph lol. <3

mmmm what else what else nothing important i'm sure love to all.

~Jess~

!!!!!!!


boricuababy

:: 2004 15 August :: 2.13pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Dickey Ride

amara got tickets to the VMA's!!!!
wow..that is so frickin koo!!..im happy for them..better take pictures!!..lol

sammi came over last nite..we hung out at my house..saw barbershop 2..i love that movie..sam liked it too.."i can't talk bout luther vandross??..whattttt cha gon do bout it??"..lol..cedric the entertainer is so funny..after the movie we had chinese food!! that was good..then we juss chilled in my room..and pretty much just talked..that was funny..our little "scenes"..lol..u hadda be there..she stayed till like around 11:30-ish..then we took her home..wen we got back we watched the dvd we had bought earlier.."the best of cedric the entertainer"..lol..that was hilarious!! u gotta see it..today's just been a really lazy day..i've been up only two hours but im already sleepy..i think it's the weather..rainy..n icky..i went to publix with my moms and i went to the deli to get ham n salami and the lady didnt speak english..wow..that was interesting..lol..i didnt get her she didnt get me..jon and pat let like an hour ago for baseball practice..this week is gonna be really busy..im not lookin foward to it..lol..cheer practice monday..pictures on tues..and last yrs. spanish exam on wednesday..errr..oh well..gotta get over it..

meli-this friday for sure!!..lol

!!!!!!!


sameen

:: 2004 13 August :: 8.25pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: salt shaker

just had dinner- i'm stuffed, that's for sure.

well week no. 1 is over. not that it was such an event-making week, but yeah. i'm glad it's the weekend tho. i was excited 2 c everyone, but i didn't even get 2 c that many ppl. this year, ppl who i have classes wit- they're in a lot of my classes, as opposed 2 last year when it was more spread out and i saw more ppl. i guess in a way it's good cuz i'll get close wit those ppl, but i was close wit those ppl neway. the classes all seem like they're gonna be hard. maybe not necessarily HARD, but if u want an a, then u're gonna have 2 work for them. not like alg 2 last year, when u get pay attention 4 the review she did right b4 the test [which, in mind, was exactly LIKE the test] and get by. or morone helpin us out in english. shit, and we'll actually have an accomplished social studies teacher. i always take a long time adjusting. strangely, i always do better second semester. so in a nutshell:

strategies 4 college success:
wudn't know cuz i haven't had the class yet, but shiit, 6 classes r enough- thank u. best part is gettin up late, stretchin my arm, and bein like hahaha i SHUD be in school now.. but i'm NOT!

english:
the lady seems nice, but as everyone has said, boring. but she seems like she knows what she's doing and she'll get us to ap, which is what matters i guess. i dunno, i've always liked english. and sometimes it comes naturally 2 me, but sometimes i get TOO laid back, and that's when i get screwed. but i mean, why is it SO important neway. i don't get it. i mean, i get y math is, but i mean.. unless if u wanna be a journalist or something, i dunno y there's such an obsession wit it. science seems much more imp. sorry goin on a tangent. but i like the class cuz there's liz, rachel, lawrence, sunil, and anand in it. it's one of the classes where it's definitely mixed wit the nerdy ppl and the.. not ? i duno.. i'll let u decide which category i fall under.

us history:
yeah he's already called me the "mistake by the lake" lol and the whole class laughed at me : / it's my parents fault we lived in cleveland.. ok... newayy it's already managed 2 bore me and i alreayd feel overwhelmed. i'll take the blame 4 it, it was probably my fault, cuz i didn't follow through wit the readin assignment, so i was kinda lost in class 1/2 the time, but still- how does he expect us 2 get all that reading done?!?! even peter fell asleep and that says something...

chem:
i'm glad 2 back wit ms swanson [yes i still feel partially guilty 4 giving up ap chem- just 4 that strategies 4 college success class, which bein in ib is practically preparin u 4 college, but still..yeah... but i'm kinda glad i did, cuz i dunno if i wud be able 2 handle it wit ap bio. i duno if i shuda just sticked wit ap chem and social anth. o well, guess we'll never know... but the environment was already laid back and relaxed [besides that test..] and since it's not ap, i can tell we're gonna have time 2 just do nonsense and crap. good times. small class tho. ms swanson is really nice tho...

spanish:
see, i like mrs halcomb herself. she's a very nice, lively lady. u don't ever feel really bored in her class or nething. it's just the gradin itself is hard/strict. but i mean, it's gonna be like the ap. so yeah. i like her tho. and everyone is in that class, so it shudn't be like last year. and it's mostly ppl from our grade, actually, which is also nice.

bio:
well not much 2 say since he's not there. but i really hope he has changed his teaching style. i HATE bein the ones to be experimented on, especially on this class. last year, gov.. whatever, don't care about that class, but i mean, bio actually counts.. we'll see, had fun in there, yeah- not much work accomplished tho. i mean, mr morone, himself, is a great guy, but anyone who had bio wit him freshman year can explain what im tryin 2 say..

pre cal:
i feel dumb already. how is that possibly, i already feel lost in math. and it's not even ap calculus or nething. i just need 2 review and look at the book and not expect everything 2 come 2 me naturally. i mean, i guess that's y we're IN school. but i mean, i think i can get an a in there. mr power is nice. like the bloke [i wish i had a british accent]

so that was this week, in a nutshell. what can i say. not much else i guess. i hope this weekend is accomplished, but fun.

3 <3 | !!!!!!!


spinoangel

:: 2004 13 August :: 4.19pm

edit

i dont think i can get this entry right to the way i like it. i dont know what to say or how to say it.

how to express how shitty i feel just because school makes me miserable. i mean its the first fucking week and i'm already bursting into tears when i get home. i dont understand how i can be so weak, so sensitive, it just makes me cry MORE because its like what the hell am i doing? i'm dragging myself down and i can't stop. it's as if i have some masochistic desire to feel the tears running down my face. my brain must be a little screwed up to make me feel so bad that i can't face the world anymore.

just as long as i never pick up the sharp objects, i'll be okay.

4 <3 | !!!!!!!


boricuababy

:: 2004 12 August :: 6.34pm
:: Mood: smiley
:: Music: I Want it That Way-BSB

lol..amy and her old skoo songs..
the bus was really funny today..we listened to old music..thot bout the old days..i miss being little..no drama back then..stratch that..yea there was..but none i had to deal with..lol..newayysss..second day of skoolio!!
i'm beginning to love it..:D

u.s history: there's alotta people in that class..i can already tell itz gonna be boring as hell but i got my amycita right next to me to keep me company!!..:)..and both ashley's are in there with me too..and caitlin and a bunch of other people..so its all good

trig: wow..what a class!! that's gonna be fun..everyyybodyyy is in there..cept my amara!!..:(..i think its gonna be a fun class..all my buddies are in there..lots of socializing..dr. baum is cool too..so far..dont wanna jinx it..lol

biology: this class is pretty small..but amara's in there..so im happy..so is val and rach..and katherine too..i hope morone jr got better with his teaching skills..it seems like he's more prepared..:/..hope it turns out good..

social anth: sam's in this one too..:D..we did pretty good with classes this year..mr davis is ok..not like other ppl sed he was like..carlos and amy r in here too..

spanish: this class is gonna be really fun too..everyybodyy's in this one too..it sucks we're gonna have mrs levine as a sub for two weeks tho

driver's ed: ally's my driving buddy!!..lol..that shudd be fun..can't wait

english: schilit's on the iffy side..she calls us "chickie poo"..lol..yea..weirdd..

my luches worked out for me too..so im straight for that..hope this year is a good one!! and i hope it goes by fast..x0x0

!!!!!!!


alwaysfalling

:: 2004 11 August :: 10.04pm
:: Mood: exhausted

just shoot me. please.
i hate this year already.

things that made me happy:
tina in lunch
driving to and from school
taco bell.

that's it. i miss last year.

<3

2 <3 | !!!!!!!


sameen

:: 2004 11 August :: 6.43pm

Today was the first day of school [*take not of subject]. I mean, I guess it all right. US History has already managed to bore me, but Mr. Hall seems like a good teacher- at least he knows what he's doing. He said last year he had an 87% passing rate, that's pretty damn good. But there's a lotta people in my class, so that'll make up for it, if it does in actuality turn out to be boring. Then was Spanish. It was fun too, cuz EVERYONE is in our class. Going over the handbook was kinda boring tho. I have second lunch.. both days, I think [500's in second lunch, right?]. Mrs Halcomb is nice, but SUCH a stickler for the rules and her class itself is hard. But, I guess the way she grades is how the AP grades, so it's no good havin another teacher who lets u slide, but then u don't pass the AP. Lunch was all right. Some child thought I was a freshman- I do NOT look like a freshman. What an insult. It's switched now.. freshman year people thought I was a junior and this year people r gonna think I'm a freshman. Anyway, then was Pre Cal- it was all right. I mean, Mr Power seems nice and I don't think I'm gonna have THAT much of a hard time gettin an A, most people I know got A's last year.. It was nice goin to school late tho. I think I made a mistake by dropping AP Chem tho. I feel really.. guilty, I dunno y. I'll talk to Ms. Swanson tomorrow. Tomorrow's English, Chem, and Bio. Great, sciences BACK 2 BACK. I think odd days my worst class will be Spanish and even Biology. Well I'm off to do HOMEWORK [how dumb.. on the first day..should be used to it, after last 2 years tho.. ]

1 <3 | !!!!!!!


dmlxoxo

:: 2004 11 August :: 5.10pm
:: Mood: aggravated

boys can be so silly sometimes....
interesting night the other night (8/9/04)::::
i was working in the flair house and this lady and her son come inside. lindsey keeps looking at her and looking at her and she says to me: that lady looks really familiar. i didnt see it at first but then as i continued to study her, i realized that she was familiar to me too. "shes from tv i think" i kept on thinking that, so lindsey goes up to her and says "i know this is gunna be a really weird question, but how do we know you?" it was meredith vierra from the view (the same lady who does who wants to be a millionare) it was so cool! she looks really old in person. its a wonder what those makeup people can do for you. that same night, it finally happened. morgan and i hooked up. we were in the street and it was literally for like a second, but it was good to have that feeling again. last night was movie night at adams house and of course it happened again, this time for around a minute, i personally enjoyed it. today however, i came to find out that morgan was telling people about our kisses. one of my friends (name not being stated for the privacy of them and those others who were involved) told me that morgan told them that i was too agressive with my kiss the first time. i was really upset to hear this news. not because of any stupid reason, but because of how utterly embarassed it made me feel. "dont choke him with your tongue danielle". ugh wtf. jesus, realize that im new at this and respect my fucking privacy. i dont need everyone knowing how i kiss, especially if its not good. maybe it was just the first time though, because that first time that he said i was bad it was really short, but last night when we did it it was longer and he did it with me. idk what that says, but maybe it was better. boys can be so stupid sometimes. stupid morgan, think before you open your mouth....or maybe i should before i open mine?? whatever, ill fix it.
as for everything else, its going well. camp is over in about a week, scary as that may be. stephs coming home in less than a week, i cant fucking wait. ah i miss everyone so much. thats it for now, another movie night tonight, my kiss'll be good goddammit, its gunna be really good.
xo-danielle

!!!!!!!


alwaysfalling

:: 2004 10 August :: 9.37pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: r.e.m. - nightswimming

i'll do anything for another couple of days with you

man. i loved this summer, i'm going to miss it so much. i loved the boredom, those fine boys, my summer lovin, my big family vacation on the beach in north carolina, sleepovers with tina, trip to orlando, concerts, the beach... just everything. i'd do anything for a few more days or a whole month.

on better news, other than school, the pimp mobile is now on the road and will be coming to a neighborhood near you as soon as possible. just call danielle on the cell and she'll pay you a visit since she got a really asian job today that will pay her $7 an hour, because i just rock, which means like $500 dollars a month so we can have fuuun. rock the universe here we come.

<3

!!!!!!!


boricuababy

:: 2004 10 August :: 6.42pm
:: Mood: happy

my sammi is hereeeeeee!!!
we just finished that frickin bio packet!!..finally!!..took a lil while..but we got thru it!! thank u sammi for ur help!! wuv uuuuu!!

1 <3 | !!!!!!!

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