Until The Day I Die

Until The Day I Die

:: 2005 8 February :: 9.21pm
:: Mood: crappy

I'm sick yet again and I guess it doesn't help that these past days I'm being chased afterschool while being pelted with ice-snow balls.

Saturday was by far the most interesting day out of these past two weeks. I found out from an old pal that my ex best friend goes around telling people I betrayed her, that I'm a whore because I was sexually taken advantage of?, that I'm trying too hard to be just like her, OH - And better yet - That I tried to take her ex boyfriend away from her. I don't know what her issue is but this quarell has been going on for about a year, however it was just now that I found this info out (except for the calling me a whore part... That one I've known).

These past couple of weeks I've had testing in all my subject areas and it was the closing of the second marking period so not only did I have LOTS of cramming to do but alot of work I was too lazy to complete before the closing of the marking period so I had to do it all in a couple of days.

Yesterday and today I had history mid-terms going on and my teacher Mr. Arauz switched our seats around so now I practically sit next to Christopher Rivera and its just more then I can stand.

How dare Nano come up to me and tell me that Christopher has changed, that he's sorry and doesn't know how to tell me?! Why does he want my forgiveness anyway? So I can blindly trust him again just so he can abuse of me like he did before? Fuck no. No way I'm not falling for it. I'd much rather throw myself into a vat of acid then even attempt a conversation with his rapist ass.

Just when things are getting better something always has to happen to ruin everything...

Fade Into Memory

Chromegoblin

:: 2005 8 February :: 9.21pm
:: Mood: crappy

Fade Into Memory

fearthainn

:: 2005 5 February :: 12.27pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: HIM- Salt in our wounds

Love is insane and baby we are too
Well, guess it's yet another weekend of sitting here at home. I was supposed to get together with Toby, Caroline, and Jessie and go bowling.. but it's not going to work out now, I have no money. Someone please come save me!

Chromegoblin

:: 2005 1 February :: 10.17pm

I don't believe I hate anybody quite as much as I hate my litle cousin.

I know I know, shame on me for picking on little asshole kids.

Fade Into Memory

fearthainn

:: 2005 1 February :: 5.32pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Orgy - Fiction (Dreams in digital)

I guess there will be no valentine for me this year... *tear*
Well, I have yet to find one.
*shuffles away*

fearthainn

:: 2005 31 January :: 3.54pm
:: Mood: grumpy
:: Music: Static-X - I'm with stupid

Carl you are so getting something! and it's going to be awesome. :)

well, there isn't anything to write about, so I'll tell you of the first thing that comes to mind...

So, I decide to pack a lunch today, thinking nothing will go wrong. Well, I was mistaken... After school I had no room in my backpack for my lunchbox so I had to carry it. I get outside and Thomas comes up and steals it, thinking it's hilarious, runs around with it. So I push him into the snow and walk away. Then as I'm not looking, Cullen comes up and grabs me and has the others take my lunch box and run across the school yard. So, having it be an awesome lunchbox, I must get it back. So I was running after them, they pass it around a few times, then a girl grabs it from them, quite easily too, and then hands it to me. I was in a pissy mood before that, it just made it worse. goddamn lunchbox - stealers. I say we kill all people who piss me off, or anyothers along the way that just plain annoy me. And I will be willing to stop for any other recommended persons. So, who is with me?

fearthainn

:: 2005 26 January :: 10.18pm

Read Carl's woohu...

*Wishes Sye much fun as well* :)

fearthainn

:: 2005 26 January :: 6.03pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Marilyn Manson-Personal Jesus

I'm pissed.
Yes you may or may not have noticed that the subject of this entry is "I'm pissed"...well, I must agree with Carl that this new schedule is not working out. No lunch with Carl or Megan? c'mon! goddamn school systems! Toby keeps me sane during lunch though, also Jessy... but... there is that gigantic hole. agh! *shakes fist* I don't know how long I can take it. And my new german class... *shudders* all of the obnoxious bastards who have german have been packed into one classroom and happen to have the same hour as I. There are few exceptions to that.

Well, that's all for now... I'll prolly update again soon, since boredom is taking over and I usually find myself back online.

fearthainn

:: 2005 24 January :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Wumpscut-Soylent Green

Updating for the hell of it.
Really, I have nothing to update about. So, I'll think of the first thing that comes to mind.

Well, today Jenny.. would not shutup, ask Carl, she knows. Megan was taking a test and she was on the other side of the room and couldn't concentrate. I didn't mention that we were in the library. People like that just make me want to rip out their vocal cords or better yet, chop their entire head off. You know what I say, Carl? we stab her, along with a few others.

Chromegoblin

:: 2005 24 January :: 12.47pm
:: Mood: intimidated

I don't think I like my cat anymore, in fact I don't think I'm liking cats anymore period.

They stare at me like they KNOW oh I don't know what they know but they fucking know. And it really creeps me out when their eyes glow.

My cat scratched me in the nose just because he was staring at me and I was staring back... Moody bastards.

I detest cleaning litter boxes and all the cat hair on my clothes that is impossible to get rid of! That settles it... I am never EVER having a cat EVER again.

This rant originally started because there was a cat hair in my soup. Yuck.

Fade Into Memory

Chromegoblin

:: 2005 24 January :: 11.32am

The day that I was supposedly posting a second time I was taken away by the school social worker/ therapist person during my free periods to disscus things. As for the retarded sentence in parenthesis, that was Yeslenny's doing. You see, on Thrusday 5th period my teacher was absent so we were free to use the computers. Apparently everyone else beat me to one so I was stuck asking Yeslenny to share with me. So when I was typing up the entry she kept on saying," OH! OH! LEMME SAY HI! LEMME SAY HI! I WANNA SAY HI!".... So I let her say hi but I was going to erase what she said when she got up or something but to my immense luck the bell rings and then she says, "Ok you're done and we gotta go!" and she hits the update button. All everyone in the room heard next was a loud, "NOOOOO!" erupting from my throat as I hunched over the keyboard and hit the desk. Yeslenny was quite taken aback by my reaction but whatever.

On Friday my parents picked me up early from school and we headed over to the New York Presbyterian Hospital to see the doctor who performs the type of surgery I need to correct the problem with my sternum. After years and years of bitching the doctor finally sets a surgery date which will be May 16th. He warned me that the pain was going to be excruciating because they will be inserting a metal bar into my chest and then fliping it making the sternum pop out, that's probably not even half of it but I'm not inclined to write anything else in regards to the operation unless I'm personally asked.

This weekend my entire family came down with some strange bronchitis (I don't know if I spelled it it right) but everyone is doing better so they're all either at school or work. I'm however grounded at home because I worsened. Pretty soon (I think) I'm going to have to go to the hospital because it feels like I'm developing yet another pnuemonia.

Fade Into Memory

fearthainn

:: 2005 21 January :: 7.16pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Amerika - Rammstein

*falls onto desk* ... I knew I shouldn't have went to school today. It did no good, my science exam went terrible, and I'm not sure about design II yet. :/ but agh, I'm not worrying about it right now. I feel... bleh. I've been resting pretty much since I arrived home from school. Sye called me... that always brightens my day. And I called Alicia, so it blocked out my being sick for at least a little while. Hopefully it subsides over the weekend. *makes some soup* wish me well.

chromegoblin

:: 2005 20 January :: 11.44am

Urgh after a hundred million years later I'm finally able to update from school again. Woopie...

I have given runing away much thought and made several plans but I end up in zero every single damn time. I despise my household and being trapped between those walls is making me relapse in my depression and I am not making any progress. I am beginning to think that my only means of escape is suicide but I refuse to go through with it. I'm trying to pull through with this all for one person (yes Sirus that's you).

n me too yeslenny her long lost friend from russia (<-- Yeslenny, she's an odd one (daz not tru im jus normal n ya aint lol so dont hate appreciate) ... o__o;... Don't ask just... Don't ask.)

I'll probably update again later today if given the oppurtunity

1 Ghosts | Fade Into Memory

fearthainn

:: 2005 19 January :: 7.29pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: Mannequin - Cradle of Filth

Car accidents... hurt.
Wow... today, it was insane.

My mom and I were driving home from going out to lunch. I noticed there was a car and it was quite far from what I could see at the time, until it started turning... then I noticed we were about 1 foot away from the car... and after getting the wind knocked out of me, denting my mom's dashboard, and telling the fireman the wrong day and date... and yes, I told him the wrong day and date, he was evaluating me to check if I had any memory failure, and he asked me that and I told him it was 'Tuesday the 18th' ... so automatically he assumes that there is something terribly wrong with me. Although, I was having sharp chest pains, and neck and back pains, I don't think that an ambulance was really neccesary, yet they did. So I soon found myself to be at the hospital getting x-rays. Nothing was wrong with me, it was just the impact that hurt. The doctor told me that the pain would be 10 times worse by tomarrow morning... :( Possibly not going to school tomarrow, although I want to because I do not want to make up my exams next week. *sigh* well, that is all for my hectic day, I am off to take some aspirin.

Fearthainn

:: 2005 18 January :: 6.28pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Moonspell - In and above

My week, month, year, have just been picked up and smashed onto the ground. I wish there was something I could do, although I know there is nothing.

So much for everything.