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chuckitatthewall

:: 2005 28 January :: 8.30pm

I dunno what is wrong with me...I feel so sad right now and all the time. I got my report card. I'm disappointed because I could have done better. At the same time though, I could have done a lot worse so I guess I wont complain. This semester I will work harder and hopefully get a 3.2. That'd be really nice.

So just something nice before I go off into all the bad stuff. Today my sister, Michelle, called and told me that she mailed me a See's candy bar. I find it funny that she's mailing See's to San Jose where there are shops for them everywhere. I asked her why and she said it was because she wanted to cheer me up. Shes so annoying after a while but then when she goes away I appreciate her and want her to come back even though I know that I'll just get annoyed again. She has a good heart.

So the bad stuff. Maybe this is just me but I think sometimes feeling depressed and lonely and angry goes in a cycle. You might be sad for a couple weeks and just feel helpless but then all of a sudden something changes and you feel happy again. Right now I'm in the sad/lonely/angry time. I feel like my family hates me. They are just putting up with me because like it or not I'm here. Not for too much longer I hope. Tonight my mom and dad were in the kitchen talking about how bad I am. They were saying that I'm a bad kid and I don't have any respect for anybody..that I'm selfish and greedy. I do have respect for people..people who deserve it. People that have acted in respectable ways. People that treat me nice as well. I'd think that I am polite and nice to people when I meet them and only rude and mean when they have not treated me the same way. Hmm..maybe I'm not. Anyway, I decided to yell that I could hear them and they just said "You know, Marilyn, I really don't care" I'd rather have them tell me they hate me to my face. It'd be a lot easier and nicer. My other sister, Mary, treats me like shit. She has thinks she is better than everyone because she is the smartest and prettier than the rest of us. My dad completely favors her and loves her more. He denies it everytime but everyone knows the truth. She is the history major. She had the 3.95 in highschool. She kisses his ass and he soaks it up. Whenever he introduces his girls to anyone he says " These are my daughters" Depending on the order were standing or sitting he lists Michelle, Maureen, and I. Then when he gets to Mary it goes "...... and this is my history major over here, Mary" Mary does a cheesy grin revealing her yellow teeth that are her ugliest feature other than the monstrous backside she has (Oh but thats the Italian in her so its alright and dad is proud of that as well) Then she says "Hi. Its really nice to meet you" blah blah blah. The way she talks is so fake. You can hear the difference in her tone from when she talks to everyone shes used to. I'm annoyed by her. Its not jealousy. I'm not jealous of people who are completely fake and "perfect". I just fear I'll never make my dad proud. It will always be Mary. The only way to make him happy is to be a lawyer and I hate law. I've been around it my entire life. My mom and dad cant ever just leave the clients at work. They take them home every night and I know more about the inner workings of the case than the client themselves. (DAMNIT! THIS MUSIC IS DEPRESSING TOO.)

Moving on. That stupid Ronald Reagan book hasnt been helping at all but I'm addicted to it. It has all these pictures from when he was younger and then as he got older. Its really cool to watch how people change throughout their lives. I read the thing that his daughter, Patricia, started a couple of days before he died and finished the day after. It was so sad. He was surrounded by his family, 2 kids and his wife and in the comfort of his own house. I couldn't help but wonder how Aunt Marie felt when she died. She was completely alone in a strange and probably uncomfortable hospital. Her last moments spent in pain from the cancer as well as the pain of not having anyone to take her last breaths with. I wish I could've been there to hold her hand or something. Instead I was outside enjoying the sun and having a good time with my sisters.

I guess I'm done.

Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2005 28 January :: 6.42am
:: Mood: tired

Dum dum duuuum
Just a real quick entry before school for the sake of simply updating and nothing more. Decided to say howdy. Life's been fine I guess. Well, there's some sad news and stuff but I'll talk about that when I get the chance to create a real entry.

You know, nobody is really online in the morning. Tis kinda fonny.

"Mama.. I just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, ooo, I didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on, cuz nothing really matters."
--Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Ah yes that is a cool song. Kinda sad once you think about it, ne?

Juuuuuuuulia might start going out with one of Ryan's best friends, Ryan (woah no way!) or just "Miller". Teehee that would be funny. She' buggin me to go to the mixer dance thing and bring ryan and ryan and I don't really wanna go. Oh well we shall see, we shall see, ne?

I understood the math assignment in class yesterday! I've been having trouble feeling like I understand things in the math class, but I understood the thing we did yesterday and I'm so happy!

Well, time to get into the car and head right back off to schoolio, foolio.

Ta hu wa'ii la na ta'hu wa'ii la! Enu he'i la pa heini'o alohala! O'otutu ii lu'a, ii'na'o a la, a'ahu a'hi a na halai!

3 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2005 19 January :: 8.36pm
:: Music: THE DOORS CAUSE THEY ARE SO GOOD AND WAY BETTER THAN THE SHITTY MUSIC OF TODAY!

My family is so screwed up. Monday was my sister Maureen's birthday. She turned 20 but thats not the thing that is screwed up. My mother and my oldest sister, Monica, have been in this ongoing fight for about 5 years now and she is pregnant and my mother hates her. I don't know why exactly but because they are in a fight Monica has decided to cut the rest of off too. That means she stays for a 1/2 hour on chirstmas, doesnt show up on our birthdays, and mails the presents. How fucked up is that? I've decided that when people ask me how many sisters I have I will answer 3 instead of 4. I havent seen my sister yet this year and she lived 15 miles away. Last year I can count on 1 1/2 hands how many times I saw her. Pretty pathetic. Most of those hardly count because I saw her for about 20 minutes. I MISS MY SISTER SO MUCH AND SHE DOESNT EVEN CARE! I know she knows that what shes doing isnt right. How can she possibly be okay with herself for treating us like pieces of dog shit that she stepped on. She always tells me that I can call her and talk to her but why can't she call me? Why doesnt she take in interest in our lives? EVERYTHING IS CENTERED AROUND HER WHEN YOU TALK TO HER. YOU KNOW WHY? ITS BECAUSE WE TALK TO HER SO RARELY THAT WE HAVE TO SPEND THE ENTIRE TIME FINDING OUT IF SHES OK! It sucks. I will fucking beat anyone who does this to their families. Its the worst possible thing. It fucking hurts so much. I dont think she realizes that everyone in our family cries because of her. My mom cries, my other sister, i cry, even my dad cries. Its horrible. She has her whole family crying because shes such a bitch. If you try to tell her she gets this tone like shes talking down to you and its like DUDE FUCK OFF! STOP AND FUCKING LISTEN! FOR ONCE JUST FUCKING ACCEPT THAT YOURE BEING THE FUCKING BIGGEST BITCH EVER RIGHT NOW! REALIZE THAT YOURE FUCKING UP ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU THE FUCKING MOST! I'm sorry, this is really really bad what I'm going to say next but: I HOPE THAT BABY DIES! I HOPE IT DIES SO SHE COMES CRAWLING BACK TO US LIKE A DOG WHO GOT IN TROUBLE AND DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO. THEN SHE'D NEED US. SHE'D NEED US TO HELP HER AND SHE'D REALIZE HOW HORRIBLY SHE TREATED US AND THEN SHE'D SAY SORRY AND START BEING A SISTER AGAIN. We used to have so much fun together. She would take me places and I'd always go into her room to listen to the Beach Boys with her. On Sundays we watched the stupidest show, USA High, together and then sometimes we'd even play dress up (I was about 7 when this was going on). She read "A Christmas Carol" to me. She bought me a Beauty and the Beast cup for my birthday when I turned 3 and I still have it. THen she met James. Then she began to ignore us. I MISS HER SO MUCH! You have no idea how horrible it feels to lose a sister until it happens. I admit it, I used to say " I hate you" to her or tell her that I wish she'd die and stuff. I never EVER meant it! I never ever imagined it would actually fucking happen. BE NICE TO YOUR SIBLINGS! I could never do this to anyone. Its one of the worst feelings other than when someone dies. Right now I really miss Aunt Marie too and Mr. Vane. I wish my sister could see this. She can't. Even if she did I doubt it would change anything.


I NEED TO GO. Bye.

6 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2005 2 January :: 1.47pm
:: Music: The Doors

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I"m not really sure why I'm writing in here right now. I dont have much to say. I have to do this stupid ass english paper and its so fucked up and I've been working on it for 3 hours now and I've gotten 2 paragraphs done...2 short paragraphs. I

The weather is nice. Its been rainy for almost a week now but now I'm wet because I was just outside not doing work. I dont like being wet after I've gone in the rain. It feels gross and cold especially when its your feet. Wet socks are so annoying. My feet are cold.

I'm sad today. Tomorrow is the last day of vacation. DUDE MR. MCCAW SUCKS! I don't like him. Hes nice though because he gives me good grades on things I write. I read through one of them that he corrected and he didn't even mark some stuff wrong that I could clearly see was screwed up. I hate the shitty assignments he gives. I have to fucking write this piece of shit paper that supports that Romeo and Juliet did not have to die. FUCK IT! Who gives a shit about Romeo and Juliet? Do you really think that Shakespeare cares if we analyze his characters and break everything down and disect it and make theories and shit. I think he just wrote plays to get money so he could support himself. In 300 years are we going to fucking give a shit about some stupid ass dude who wrote a really good screenplay for a movie today!? PROBABLY NOT! I think its ridiculous how much we study this stuff.

I need to go and fucking finish this paper so tomorrow I can clean my room which my sister so nicely trashed when she came home. I am shoved into this tiny corner of MY room which includes my bed and dresser. She took over my nightstand, the area in front of my closet so i cant open it, the chest thing that i keep for my sister in my room, and the floor between our beds. Her laundry is everywhere and she smells like weird detergent and perfume. There are cups of water all over my room because she is perpetually dehydrated or something. Her makeup is everywhere too. She thinks she is so fucking beautiful. Yesterday, while everyone was taking down the Christmas trees, she was upstairs taking a shower, doing her hair, and putting on way too much makeup. That girl could put on all the makeup in the entire world and she wouldnt be any prettier. She has an attitude of "Oh, look at me! I am so beautiful with such a massive amount of makeup on that if you put me in 95 degree weather my face would begin to drip off." Its sickening. My fucking dog just farted!

I GOTTA GO!

Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2005 1 January :: 8.40pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Aerials - System of a Down

Disneyland and shtuff
HOWDY Y'ALL! I just came back from my favorite place on earth next to Walt Disney World. Disneyland! WEeeeee! *dorkish grin*
Twas mucho fun and mucho crowded.
*GASPUS!* you know what Michael Eisner is doing now?! MULAN II! He can't keep doing this to Disney! I sob. Sob I do. *sobs*
No more sequels! Not unless they be damn good ones! Walt didnt' believe in sequels you know!
New Years in Disneyland was of course packed with people. After the fireworks we had to seek shelter in a photo shop on Main Street and then in an outside eating area for a restaraunt.
We ate in the Blue Bayou, the restaraunt in the Pirates of the Caribbean building. Twas very nice. that one guy that played Harry Osbourne in Spiderman 1 and 2 was there. He walked out with a cast member while we were waiting to get in. I don't think many people noticed him except my mom and me. Well I'm sure they noticed him elsewhere but I meant at least at the restaraunt as he was walking out.
There were a bunch of Japanese tourists there while as well and they were so cute! There was this one group of two guys and I think a girl on mainstreet that looked maybe in their early 20s and they were taking a picture with the castle in the background and when they took the picture they held two fingers up in the "v" for victory sign thingy. It was cool to see because it's the typical Japanese picture thing! ^.^ And it could possible be because I'm just a weird freak lol. My reaction: "*jumping up and down and speaking in excited whispers* lookit lookit! They did the finger thingymabob Japanese cool thingy! view it! They did the finger thingy!"
My parents looked at me as if I was insane, and even my sister talked to me as if I was having problems.
Twas a vunderful trip indeed. We went to the new Hollywood Tower of Terror. Twas mucho fun! I liked the work they put into theming it better in the Florida one, but then again they had less land to work with over here. Twas still very fun.
What pisses me off is when they have those really unenthusiatsic cast members (employees) that are really boring and out of it.
Methinks it would be fun to work at Disneyland because you get the chance to act as well as earn money for it. Well, at least if you are working for themed rides.


Anyway, Christmas was lurvley! Lots of Lurvely-ness!
I went and saw Finding Neverland with my family! Highly recommended movie! I lurve it muchly! Actually I think it's become one of my favorites. I saw it a second time with Ryan and Javier. I wouldnt mind seeing it a third time! Anyone wanna take me? :D

Hmm where was i?

I've gotta stop chewing my nails.

Well anyway, I guess that's all I'll write about right now. Happy New Year to everyone! Kinda hard to believe that 2004 is over and 2005 has started. Sad to think of it, actually. Another year gone by.
And another one ahead.

Oh Lord, help us.

4 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 20 December :: 6.46pm

HELLO DUDES!
It's finally winter break but it sucks cause in 2 weeks I'll have to go back and be at my school and learn. So now only 13 days before school again. I realized on Saturday that I forgot to bring the book with Romeo and Juliet in it home so I have to find another copy to write the paper. It ruined my vacation.

Today I learned something about myself. Something that isnt so good I guess. I think sometimes I mean to be nice but mean things come out of my mouth and people take them offensively. Then after I thought about it and how mean it was, its too late. I did that again today. I meant that it would be annoying for Jessica to drive to San Jose and not even be here for the Christmas thing but it came out as it would be annoying to have her come. I didn't mean that at all and I feel really bad about it. Why the hell am I so stupid? So yea...sorry to anyone I might have something mean to cause whatever I was trying to say probably just came out wrong.

I saw that a while back I wrote about how pretty California is in the winter. Something changed. Its not as good this year. The hills are pretty green right now cause of the early rain we had but nothing special. It hasnt rained in like a month and half so its making me angry. Also the sun is out so much. I dont care if it rains as long as its all cloudy and beautiful. Jeeze. THis sucks. I'm sad. Christmas is almost here and it doesnt even feel like it. I hate that. It feel like January. THIS YEAR WAS BAD! It makes me angry thinking about it. Good things happened but overall nothing that great that made the year worth remembering. The main thing was getting the house. In some ways I liked it when we rented a house cause that meant we'd have to have every couple of years and I like moving.

Lets see..one really good thing that happened this year was that I figured out that Sarah is a fucked up little bitchy asshole and that I despise her. I hate almost everything about her dumbass personality and screwed up views. Smart people aren't all nerdy. Couldn't she strive to be at least mediocre? Then she's right in the middle.

Ok I'm gonna admit something that I think everyone knows already. I want to be really smart but I just don't put all of my energy and time into studying and being good at school. I put in the minimal amount of work it takes to get B's then when my grades start slipping I put in a little more to get them back up but then I go back to my normal study habits. I know its bad. I've been trying to figure out what I can be when I grow up that requires very little memorization and complicated work but nice pay. My list isn't very long. I think I wanna do something that would benefit other people more than me..not like charity. I'm talking about work that gives me money and still gives other people stuff that they want. Does that make sense? I dunno.

I'm gonna go. BYE!

1 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 12 December :: 6.47pm

HEY GUYS!
This week is going to suck. But I will try not to dwell on all the shitty things that are going on. On Friday...I sat home...watching T.V and talking to Jennifer on the phone. Her life is looking up. She called this guy she likes and they are going to the Sadie Hawkins dance which is in March. I can't believe she called him this early but she was so excited that she couldnt wait.
Saturday I....sat home and watched T.V all day instead of doing my homework which I should have. Then we went downtown to get starbucks and see Christmas in the Park. It was fun. When we were in Starbucks there were 4 guys that came in all dressed in black pants, red sweaters, and Santa hats and they sang a Christmas carrol. They were really good. So after they left my sister got up the guts to go give them some money. The guy we handed it to was so nice. He looked shocked and then he took it and said "Are you sure? Thanks!" It was only like $3 but still he obviously didn't get very much money judging by the look on his face.

Ok now I'm going to go back in time. On Thursday we went to get our Christmas tree and we were there when it closed so the guy had to stay late to tie it to the car. He was so nice cause my sister apologized and he said "Awwww. Thats alright." It was really scary though cause he looked exactly like my sister's husband, James. So weird.

Ok so today I went to go get my friends presents and I can't say what I got Louise cause I don't want to ruin it for Jessica. I got Jennifer this Hello Kitty thing because she likes hello kitty. Then I got Cynthia and Grace these Christmas rats. They're really cute. I like them a lot but they are small so I'm going to have to make cookies as well. I was just going to give them candy until Cynthia said "Yea..I dunno what to get you guys." I didn't know if I had to get them anything. Oh well. I did now.
Whoa dude. My hands look all scaley.... lol.

I miss American Dream. OH TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT READ THIS: WATCH AMERICAN DREAMS. IT NEEDS BETTER RATINGS! PLEASE WATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JJ IS SO HOT! HOW COULD YOU NOT WATCH IT?
Congratulations to Jessica for the good things that have happened to her on Friday and Saturday!

Well I'm out. Bye Bye

Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 10 December :: 6.23pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: Rock No Gyakusuu - Miyavi

Okeedokie! Tis Friday! And tomorrow is the Winter Ball! Oh joy in my freaking heart. I want to go, but the whole fancy dress thing is kinda weird for me. I would like to be seen in public as little as possible.

Today was today. Talked a bunch about the Odyssey in English. She assigned each group a god to draw a picture of and write a bit of info on. I wanted Hermes really badly, so she was nice and put him in. Then though, there weren't enough important gods assigned to the groups. Apollo, Dionysus, and I forget who else were left behind unintentionally. When she discovered that there were more gods then there were groups, or at least that the important gods had been somewhat neglected, she said, "We have to take a few off. So I'm going to take off... Hermes"
"NO! Not Hermes!" said I!
She said that she was sorry and that Dionysus and the other dude were more important than Hermes. But then someone spoke up and said that they would take on another one, then another group said they would do the same, and then a third group. They saved Hermes for me!
I was thinking: "Aww. Thanks guys! You saved Hermes for me!"


Twas very cool. Then I felt kinda bad because we didn't take on two gods. But it was very nice of them. I was with Diana in my pair, and the thing about us is that we both like to draw, and it's hard for us to decide what to make hermes look like. We brainstormed the way he would look for a while before we even started attempting anything.

After school I had about an hour to spare, so I went with Erin, Darya, and Kiley down to San Jose State and raided their Jamaba Juice. Stupid people don't accept the gift cards. As we were waiting to cross the street they started talking about that movie "Bowling for Columbine."
"That's a good movie"
"yeah it is"
"I haven't seen it. I really want to."
Michael Moore makes me sick. That fat bastard can go drown in a sea of donuts for all I care. He should spare us all and stop making those movies of his.
But yush. Just a little annoyance of mine.

We got back and I sat outside of Manley Hall (teehee. Fonny name). Nicola came by and said that she was going to email Mr. McCaw, our drama teacher and play directorwith some questions she had. Now, just to catch up, I tried out for the spring musical and got called back. However, the cast list isn't supposed to be posted until monday or tuesday. So I asked Nicola jokingly if she'd ask Mr. McCaw if I got a part in the play because I wanted to know.
The play we are doing by the way, is Joseph and the amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.
A little bit later I went into the lobby and was headed to the library to see what erin and darya were doing in there, when Mr. McCaw came in and called my name.
"Nicola just sent me an email saying that you wanted to know if you got a part in the play."
"Oh yeah," I said and smiled sheepishly. I didn't really expect him to tell me anyway.
But instead he said "Come here." So I went over with him kinda near the beginning of the hallway that leads off to the computer labs in Manley Hall.
I notice he glanced around a bit. "I'm not going to have the cast list posted until probably Tuesday with the way this is going because there are a lot of people to cast. Now, I've gotten your permission slip from your parents, and I haven't received any objections from any of your teachers, so things are looking okay. You can't tell anyone, but you're Joseph."

I was so happy! I mean, when you think about it, I am a freshman, and got the lead of the spring musical, which is the biggest dramatic production of the year. I'm so freaking happy. It's a really big accomplishment for me.

However, I have said that i would not tell anyone at school until the cast list is posted, so Marilyn, you can't mention this to anyone if the cast list isnt posted on Monday.

Yush I am so very happy. I will do a dance of happiness.

12 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 30 November :: 8.45pm

my life kinda sucks right now. At least to-day (oo look the english way). I love the English language way more than any other language on this planet. I don't like Ms. Gonzaga. Theres a reason why she isnt married. I dont like my mother. She is threatening to divorce my father. Dumb selfish bitch. I actually think she might do it. But i dunno. She has said this before but not this many days in row.

MY FAMILY IS SO FUCKING DISFUCTIONAL THAT IT WOULD MAKE A LOT OF FAMILIES LOOK NORMAL. Most of the people I know don't seem to have the screwed up relationships my family has but maybe they just don't wanna talk about them. Who can blame em? They are embarrassed like I am. I wish that people would talk about their issues cause I would like to know about them and help them if I can in anyway. I like listening but when no one will talk I like to fill the noiselessness with my own voice. I know that can be annoying. Sorry if I talk to much. Maybe thats why people avoid shy people cause they know once they get to know you you won't shut up. Thats the way I am at least. That can piss people off which sucks.
DUDE I'M FUCKING RAMBLING ON AND FUCKING ON!
Dudes whoever gives a shit about this and decided to read this I am so sorry.

I miss my Aunt Marie. I miss Mr. Vane. Bye dudes.

4 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 22 November :: 8.45pm

YO HOMIES!!! I'M BACK! YAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA.
Now on to my extremely boring life. Lets see...
I went on this dumbass retreat this weekend and that will be the focus of tonights entry.
So I left on Saturday morning and I told my mom that I really didnt want to go but she said that it was too late and that I had to. So I went. All the way up Sarah and Lynn drove me nuts. When we got there all Sarah and Stephanie and Lynn would talk about was guys. Its so fucking annoying! Stephanie had her little stupid ass boyfriend from Turloc (k?) come down to go. Hes not even Catholic. So the whole time none of them participated. I thought that you went to retreats to participate but maybe thats just us nerdy people. Not only did they not participate but they were rude when people were speaking and they were making fun of and laughing at everyone. Don't they realize how stupid they are? How not perfect they are? How fucked up and worse than everyone they are?
Stephanie's dude is fresh out of Juvenille Hall. On the trip all he could talk about was sex and they went off alone together and he fingered her. SICKNESS DUDE! THEY ARE BOTH SO NASTY.
I have to get off soon. So I did manage to learn some things. 1) I do not like retreats.
2) I am not like Sarah, Stephanie, or Lynn at all.
The third thing I learned was something that never occured to me until just this weekend. When I chose my Confirmation name I chose Cecilia who is the patron saint of musicians. I was sort of wondering why I picked it other than that it was my Great Aunts middle name. I did not play any real instruments back when I chose it. I now am learning the bag pipes. So I realized that now that name fits me more. It all works out and stuff. I thought it was really cool.

I GOTTA GO.

1 did | Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 18 November :: 9.37pm
:: Mood: okeedokie
:: Music: We go on - From Illuminations in EPCOT, walt disney World

Reasonably quick update


This song always makes me feel sad. I miss Walt Disney World muchly *hugs it*. Anyway, as for how life it? Stressful. School as of recently sucks ass. The work is making me feel crappy. I imagine I'll get over it once I stop being so tired. Been having some ugly days lately. Ah, teenagers and their moments of insecurity, don't ya love it? No. Tis not loveable. I dont even know why i feel stressed. Maybe it's the makeup work from yesterday or the fact that the grading period ends Friday. I hope this week goes by fast.

I love Christmas songs.

Anyway, an update in the political world. The damn media is over exaggerating things again, but what's so new about that?
They're talking about how this marine soldier killed an innocent wounded Iraqi soldier, violating the rules of combat. The thing is, people arent getting the real story here. These Iraqi soldiers have been boobi-trapping the dead and wounded bodies of their own soldiers, so that they will explode if touched by a soldier. Recently actually, a guy from Gilroy and his friend who was over there was killed by one
of those people.
Sean Hannity played the video on his radio, which means we can only hear sound, really, but what I heard of it was the soldiers talking and then one of them going, "He's playing dead! He's playing dead! Shit! he's playing dead!" Then the gun shot.
It makes me sick how people can put a man on trial for protecting himself and his friends. And about violating the rules of combat.. what do you think these Iraqi soldiers are doing? Playing by the rules?!
Not to mention it's a soldiers reaction to kill someone if he feels he's in danger. I mean think of all the things these guys have been through! This man was shot in the face the day before and back on duty the next day.

This subject kinda reminds me of a question I asked my mom once and I asked her why they don't have people cleaning up the sides of the highways anymore, because it's pretty damn dirty. She said it was because the people think it's cruel and unusual punishment to put prisoners out there. After all, they might get hit! Oh no! These poor child molesters, rapists, and murderers aren't allowed to help the environment anymore because they might get hit by cars! Numero uno: if they stay far enough from the road, that probably wouldnt happen. numero dos: If the driver is a dumbass and hits them, get the license plate number and sue them or try them for murder or something lol. Then they can be the ones working on cleaning up the trash. Or, to prevent all that, they can close off a part of the road or one of the lanes or something.
Silly silly liberals.

NOW ON ABORTION! WOOHOO! Bunch of political crap here.
First of all, these people are whining "Women should have the choice on whether they want to give birth to the baby or not." HELLO HOME DAWGIES! Them thar wimmin had the choice to have sex! Simple as that. You talk about well they'll find illegal ways to do it if it's banned and then people will die because of it. Okeedokie. Then DON'T TRY TO KILL IT! What a concept. Give birth to the baby, and put it up for adoption.
Now there are a few exeptions, and I mean very few in my case. Rape, for example. I have been told that after someone is raped they take them into the hospital and clean things out to lessen the chance of the woman getting pregnant. Of course, if you're a little too late, man does that suck. lol. I guess depending on how strong of a person you are, if you were raped and got pregnant, try to have the baby and give it up. Though of course it would make me sick to have the child of the person who raped me, so I dont quite know my stance on that. The second condition, is if the mother is in danger of dying because of the pregnancy. She will be labeled by me as a complete dumbass for having sex and not considering the consequences, and I wouldn't think of her as a very honorable person, but I suppose if she has to get an abortion, then she has to. Though it also makes me feel gross to say that.

On the death penalty, people say that those who are pro-life should be against the death penalty as well. I'm not. It's a simple as this: there's a difference between taking an innocent life and a sick murdering bastard's life.

Now on a happier note, my mom told me a few weeks back that she was doing something at school. Actually I think it was the seventh grade zoo trip that she was chaperoning, and she had that Clark girl in her group. Mrs. Clark, who was that science teacher lady for the lower grades at some point, is in the army. Still in the U.S., but she's preparing troops to go in to Iraq I think. The clark girl was talking with my mom and she said very cautiously: "..So.. who are you voting for?"
My mom said "Bush" and then the Clark girl smiled and said "Good. Because he'll get my mom home faster."

Now out of politics and back into my life. Let's see, what's happening in my life? well, the play went well and was a lot of fun. how I miss it. So that means to practices, which, despite my missing the performances, is a good thing because now I get more rest. Maybe now I'll go back to being ridiculously hyper in the mornings. Of course that can't be good for everyone in my school, so maybe it's just good for me.
I'd talk about Ryan more, but I remember how we used to make fun of Sarah and Stephanie for talking about boys constantly, and I'm afraid I'm going to sound like them too much. I shall keep that to my paper journal I guess.

Doody Doody doody. I gotta stop eating crap, dude. Well at least recently I've been snacking too much. If I had a swimming pool I'd excercise a lot more often. Me Mum says I should ride "the bike", which is an excercise bike upstairs, if I'm feeling crappy, but I don't like it. Oh well. Gotta start somewhere I guess.

This Woman's Place Project is a peice of crap. I feel bad for those people who got the really boring women. I'm not even overly excited about doing a report on princess diana, which doesnt mean I dont appreciate it and think she was cool, but I just dont want to write a whole assigned report thing.

Anyway, I think that will be all I'll write for today. Tootles! And sorry everything's so political now-a-days!

5 did | Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 8 November :: 9.07pm

Wow..I havent been on here in a long time.
We moved. Ever since the internet hasnt been working cause the DSL thing is all screwed up and my dad wont fix it. So I'm on my sisters computer right now and can only be for a little while because this blocks the phone line and its on the first phone line which means no one can call us.

Lets see...lots has happened. Someone in my life is changing quite a bit but I'm not going to put their name in because I dont anyone to know (sorry Jess..I trust you but its better this way) So this person is changing for the bad. Maybe its me but I doubt it. Times are tough these days. I dunno if that made sense. Oh well. So anyway the person is pissing me off cause I dont like it when people change like that. I like people to stay the same and circumstances to be different which can't happen cause you cant stay the exact same when things around you are changing cause you have to adjust. I think this person is adjusting badly but thats just me.

Good news:
My favorite Giants player had his option get picked up by the Giants so he'll be there for another year! YAY!
I watched like a shit load of movies this weekend cause I was trying to relax and uh...take a "break" from school and stuff. As in not think about the people or the work. I deffinately did a good job. Every movie I watched had a hot dude in it. The exception was Hidalgo cause Viggo could be my dad so he's considered handsome.

Today I went with Lindsay to Valley Medical Center where her mom works for service hours. We worked in the play room. The 5 hours I was there we had 2 teenage boys come in. One was 13 and a was hit by a car while he was on his skateboard and was severely brain damaged. THe other was 17 and was in a car accident and had was also brain damaged but not as bad as the other one. So we read to them. I was reading Star Wars to the 17 year old but luckily he fell asleep..that book was boring. Lindsay ended up reading for a 1/2 hour to the 13 year old. It was a really good experience. The "child specialist" in there said they were both just short of being vegetables. Really sad...

I better go.

1 did | Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 3 November :: 9.28pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: New York, New York - Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennet

VICTORY IS OURS!
CONGRATULATIONS PRESIDENT BUSH ON BEING RE-ELECTED! WOOT SAY I! FOUR MORE YEARS!

I'm so happy that I didnt wake up this morning to Kerry being my president.

I kind of hope all this political unsettlement will calm down a bit, but then again it's going to be so unexciting not really being able to argue with any left wing liberals. I kind of feel bad for some of them, especially Julia. She looked really upset this morning when I walked in. Ah I hope she will get better.

Halloween was good good. I was a gothic lolita, as planned, though I don't know if I talked about my costume here. Anyway, it was a black boddess top that zipped up in the back, and some fishnet sleeves that I wanted to add to it. A lacy kinda poofy black skirt. Sounds dumb but i don't know how to describe it. Mind you, these are the only times I will willingly wear a skirt -- in costume or if I am forced by school formal uniform and or mother. And then my blue and black striped stockings, or as I like to call them, Totchi or Toshiya stockings. Then my boots and zee makeup ^-^ Yush i liked it muchly.

Hmm so for recent things.... lesseeee... Well Friday I went to another football game with Ryan! ^.^ Twas fun, he's so nice and cuddly. lol. Next time I have to invite both Marilyn and Louise *nodnod* because if I don't I'll feel guilty but if I do I'll feel guilty anyway.

We have this Friday off and Monday as well, but I have to help out at 8th grade day on Friday, so no extra sleep for me.

Not to mention next week is Hell Week for the play. Practices from 6 PM to 10 PM. Right now it's only eight and I'm already exhausted from practices. It sucks. I really need to catch up on my sleep this weekend. Anyway, I need to get this character sketch outline done tonight. Maybe if I stare at the word processing application long enough I'll get something done.

Go fuck yourself


chuckitatthewall

:: 2004 13 October :: 10.32pm

Today has been so weird I'm not quite sure where to begin.
I'll begin with Joanne. She really really bothered me today! REALLY BOTHERED ME! When were done with our testing we all went into the gym to vote on class council and cheerleaders and stuff. Well we were supposed to be being respectful which includes being quiet and paying attention and stuff. Not too many people were really paying attention but you dont have to be obvious about it. She was talking with louise and they were being loud and drawing on eachother and stuff so I said "Be quiet." and then Louise said "SHUT UP!" and poked me with a sharpie which pissed me off because of the way she said it and the way she poked me. She was being an ass. Then Joanne was screaming really loud in support of some other girl and it was near my ear so I said "DUDE! SHUT UP! You're so annoying." I know it wasn't the nicest thing I could have done but shes been pissing me off for so long and then the Louise thing made me freshly angry so I kinda lost it for a second. I have a habit of doing that. Maybe I have an anger managment problem or something. I wouldnt be surprised if I did. I keep having this urge to smack her and tell her to leave me the fuck alone. But I can't... I've sorta been trying to avoid conversation with her and when I do talk to her I tend to be a bit short. I'm not like this to other people I dont like. Shes just different.

Lets see...I went to CCD. Nothing extradorinary happened. I saw Mrs. Saunders and Mrs. Borges and talked to them for a few minutes. Then Mrs. Cronin said hello to me. They are all really really nice. I think Mrs. Cronin is getting grumpier with age she was sorta rude. The calss was a little bit better today than last week. I actually got to do stuff instead of just sitting around the whole time. She also let the class out on time which is always nice. There was a hot dude in the Parish Office after. I've seen him around beofre...I think hes homeschooled. Well hes gotta be pushing 18 by now so he probably wont be homeschooled for too much longer.

My sister is so mad at my mom because we gave her dog away. Shes pulling a Sarah. She refuses to talk to us. My dad called and she gave him about a minute before saying she "really" had to go.

My bagpipe lessons are going pretty well. I need to memorize the notes and where they are on the paper which really sucks. When he tells me to play it and he plays it at the same time my fingers know where to go but when I'm trying to read it I'm just guessing.

DINNER TIME! BYE YA'LL!

Go fuck yourself


LoupGarou

:: 2004 10 October :: 11.32pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: Ebudae - Enya

Quick update
Here's just a quick update because I don't feel like typing all that much right now. But here's an article thing I found that I'd love to post here. Well it's more like a forum thread, but you get the picture.

You know what I’m sick of?   I’m sick of all this liberal sympathy towards the soldiers of the war.  “Don’t hurt the poor little 18 year old kid; he shouldn’t have to fight this battle.  It’s not worth his life to drop the price of oil a fraction of a cent.”  Here’s news for you liberal sympathizers, he’s not a damn kid. He’s a soldier.  He’s a soldier who signed up on his own free will to be a soldier.  He made the decision by himself, and has prepared to make a sacrifice to his country if necessary.  He’s not all talk like you damn idiots running the television stations and news media.  He’s actually doing something to help the welfare of this country, unlike you.  He’s not sitting at home complaining or teaching students biased views in college about the evils of Mr. Bush.  He’s not a whiner or a wiener, like many of you are.  He, and men and women just like him, train every single day in preparation to go to war and fight those who threaten our motherland.  The United States is only what it is today because of people like him, those who decided to give something back instead of hogging all the glory without the repercussions.  He didn’t join the military for a big pay check or to further the luxury of his life, because he will never find that in the armed forces.  He joined to truly help others.  Go find something else to complain about you dime a dollar, stupid piece of shit, liberal sympathizers.

LAGOD20@AOL.com Writes


First off let me tell u that u need to calm the fuck down.  People have a right to speak their minds just like u are doing on this site so fucking deal with it. 


Second, yes, there are many people who signed up for the military under their own free will.  But dont ever say that everyone that's in Iraq signed up under free will.  On my 18th bday I was forced by law to sign up by law for  "Selective service"  or in my words the fucking draft.  Myself and my brother have many friends who were "activated"....DRAFTED to go to Iraq and are there as I'm writing this.  So fuck that, screw your outlook on the war that everyone is there under their own will.  You may have been, but most people I know that are there, arent.  And I would never sacrifice my life for a country that tells people that they have to fight for it.



In response:


Everyone whom is in Iraq signed up under their own free will, including your buddies who are building sand castles right now.  They may not be in Iraq under their own free will, but regardless, they knew what a soldiers responsibilities were when they took the oath.  They knew there was an opportunity of deployment.  As for the “selective service” you speak of, it’s not the draft you idiot.  It only becomes a drawing for draftees when the United States is at the point where it has to draft people, which by the way hasn't happened since Vietnam.  And you’re probably thinking, what does this guy know?  I’m a soldier, and every one of my friends are soldiers. Most have already been to and returned from Iraq.  You’re a liberal piece of dog shit, which sucks off the welfare of our country.  You don’t like it here?  Join the Taliban you fuck.

______________________________

i found this in the weirdest and most random place anywhere: "http://www.slickpimp.com". lol I went there because of a link in Sarah Andrade's profile, so it's not like I visit there regularly or anything ^.^

Lookit:

1 did | Go fuck yourself

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