xonixieox
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2004 22 September :: 6.41pm
wow i havnt written in a while! ok so i got a job at stop and shop for weekends until i go back to the beach! which by the way i cant wait for! ya so im also wicked excited for my sweet 16! and my liscence! i start drivers ed and work boththis saturday!! yipieeeee!!
ok well i have bee ntaking a CRAZY amount of pictures lately so heres the link so you can just look at them rather then me putting them all on here!
PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok thats all for now!
-Nik
::I::Saw::Red::
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 21 September :: 10.10pm
blah
hi, i guess i actaully deleted the last one on purpose. i dont know whta im sayign anymore. im making no sense.
i just want to be happy, i really do. and i want it o be real. that might not happen for a year even, but if it does, it will be worth the wait.
im sorry for always complaining. my heads so messed up rite now...its all i can think about.
im just angry. but really, i need to move on. and stop wondering about the past, because it hurts too much.
everyday i find myself crying for some reason, and it needs to stop.
poeple have their reasons for doing things, and i cant let my mental state depend on others anymore.
i guess ill always wonder about certain things tho. the people i loved, the memories i had with them, and the things they said. was it real? i dont know if ill ever find out.
you probably dont care, but i was happy and ill remember that.
please comment :(
2 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
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silentcriez
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2004 21 September :: 9.18pm
:: Music: weak x jojo
im so sick of everybody starting shit.. i think its funny that people have to make shit up to make themselves feel better.. i mean honestly if you have such an issue why not leave it alone.. i mean ive tried to be as mature as possible and just stay away from ppl i have issues with cuz im sick and tired of all teh drama and all the rumors and shit.. its all so gay that everyhitng is soooo far from the truth
but w/e im not gonna sweat it.. i know the truth..
ugh this winter is gonna be just like last winter.. i just hope i wont be depressed.. i dont think i will but.. idk as soon as the holidays come up.. itll hit me how alone i am..
but im glad that im becoming better friends with goncha and steph and jessy cuz theyre soooo nice i dont know why i was ever not friends with them! <33
sarah i love you so much you have no idea :( you amaze me and im always here for you
<3 Manda
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
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emmyd
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2004 21 September :: 3.02pm
:: Mood: scared
qteekate88: i will have serge drive me over to that school and i will kick him in the nuts :-) and then ill be like oh im sorry did that hurt maybe u shouldnt fuck with peoples heads
^^ haha thats only a lil bit katie...:-) the rest had to be edited...for EXPLICIT CONTENT hahaha
i laughed hysterically at that so i had to put it in here..
kelsey dunne hahaha i love you!!!!
ughh tummy hurts STILL...
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
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emmyd
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2004 20 September :: 3.40pm
:: Mood: crying...
:: Music: all my life...(yes if u kno me u kno why)
what the fuck
lemme just say that i love Kelsey haha and Katie and Helena, and of course Heidi..and Kelly for making me smile :-) lol
im in the worst mood rite now mann...lol seriously...
its so fucked up, helena says i should talk about it....HA! wen do i ever tell people wat im thinking...or feeling???
i think i need to pay a visit to good ol' Natick High... ;-)
AWWW omg katie im sooo happy for you!!! lol
serge if ur reading this, lol ur the best u made me cry, cuz i was soo happy for katie haha, it was tears of joy tho, at the time lol i love you katie!!
::cramps all day long today:: ughh i hate being a girl haha
so much homework...im like stressed rite now, lol and scared :-\ and like....sooo many emotions running around in my lil head...its not good at all, wen i get like this, things could get bad haha
well w\e im out...
bye
leave me sumthin to make me happy :-\
-emily
::I::Saw::Red::
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silentcriez
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2004 19 September :: 5.45pm
another song...to this beat
http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=1413820&q=Hi
its called shit talkers bahahha
i heard you talking shit the other day
is that the only thing that you can say
you walk around like your something else
when your the one with wrists full of welts
talking shit to hide the lies
making up your alibies
someday someone will have enough
of you thinking your so tough
im speaking out now
taking one for this quiet crowd
they have seen enough
it is just way too much
acting like its just a phase
wasting all your yesterdays
get a life, forget your crew
grow up and just be you
------------------------
(chorus)
i am sick and tired
of dealing with you
this is just a small town
we dont need no crews
all i have to say is grow up
we arent that tough
you arent that cool
this isnt prison
its just high school
all you gotta do is grow up
--------------------------
im through with all your dirty lies
all you do is dramatize
talking shit to make a scene
as if i care whose tits youve seen
taking pills of ecstacy
spending all your money on weed
shooting up on heroin
how far can you stick your needle in?
im speaking out now
im taking one for this whole town
sick of all the stupid lies
breaking down your family ties
acting like its just a phase
wasting all your yesterdays
get a life, forget your crew
grow up and just be you
(chorus)
-bridge-
looking at your empty face
dirty looks all over the place
people dont care that youve got no class
take one for the team and shove it up your fucking ass
(chorus)
maybe now you understand
are you ready to be man?
get a life, and forget your crew?
grow up and just be you?
::I::Saw::Red::
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emmyd
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2004 19 September :: 3.31pm
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: nothing...
blah
ugh..still dont feel too good, but i definately feel better then i did the other day...
i dont want school tomaro..i hate classes, i should prolly be doing all my homework, but yea im wickedd tired rite now and bored,
peter called last nite, it was kinda random, he just wanted to talk, lol it was nice tho to kno that hes happy, lol
yea nothin to write about...
im gunna go try and do homework...
-emmyd
<3 ryan
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
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silentcriez
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2004 19 September :: 12.59am
BlckTangldHrt35x: he can destroy me tho
BlckTangldHrt35x: everybody can
BlckTangldHrt35x: because i care so much about what people think
BlckTangldHrt35x: and i put so much trust into people because i think theyre one way
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then they prove me otherwise.. and i get broken
BlckTangldHrt35x: cuz im just searching for somebody wholl be there to catch me like they promise to..
----
baby i dont wanna care
that she was on your mind
or that you think
about her all the time
i dont wanna know
that she still sweats you bad
or baby that you were
only the best she ever had
i dont wanna think about
what you two did last night
or whether you were
wrong and i was right
(chorus)
all i wanna know is
if your a waste of my time
all i need to know is
what is yours and what is mine
i dont wanna sit here wishing
for things i cant possess
wont you tell me straight up
your lies are all a mess..
i dont wanna stay up
crying every night
living for tomorrows
cuz today was never right..
i dont want to look at you
and think what could have been
ive thought about you long enough
your touch to me's a sin
(chorus)
i dont wanna hear about
how great your lives will be
or how it was her eyes you saw
when you were kissing me..
i dont wanna be the
only one whose left alone
the one who is forgotten
life spiraling out of control
i dont want to be the one
whose lonely in the end
the one whose wish was never heard
before she went to bed
(chorus)
i dont wanna be the one
swayed by all your pretty words
or the one who needs your lips to breath
when our hearts are only heard
i dont wanna be with you
when you look straight through me
spitting out your pretty words
its her you see not me..
i will always be the one
who gave all that i am
and youll always be the guy
who never gave a damn..
::I::Saw::Red::
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emmyd
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2004 18 September :: 10.19am
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: california dreamin...
ugh..dont feel good
so yesterday i stayed after to watch the cheerleaders..haha yea that was oh so much fun..no lol
then went to helenas, chilled there for a lil...then Gui,Lloyd and Ryan came...and we drove to Lloyds..and Gui left...we were there for a lil bit..then we got into a car, about the size of Gui's old one lol...and we went to the mall...
i got to see kelly there!! haha and other ppl too, but kellys worth mentioning...lol i say Lauren, and Alyssa too i miss them!!
umm..then we were walking to Starbucks, and my mom wanted to drive us home then, and she was at the mall, and um we definately werent..so we had to walk back lol, i felt bad
yea so today i donno wats happening..im supposed to be chillin with Gui, Sarah and Ryan..but i donno when...and its um definately pouring out..
ughh..my stomach feels a lil better FINALLY but wen i got home last nite it hurt again..but not my eyes are kinda puffy...and i kinda have a headache....damn im fallin apart
well imma go...
byez
leave love
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
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silentcriez
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2004 17 September :: 10.05am
well this week has been nothing but drama!
thats all natick is.. im so glad that ive met ppl who dont fucking talk shit all the time..
ahh
::I::Saw::Red::
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emmyd
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2004 16 September :: 3.48pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: pieces of me- ashlee simpson
doobie doobie dooo
soo...
i hate her...a lot
ehh i got another fucking stomach ache last nite..it was horrible lol it still hurts now too :-[ my mom says that every time i get one i have to like mark it on a calender..to see if theres a pattern or sumthin...? i donno all i kno is that i hate them and i wish that acid-reflux or w\e would die lol
im goin out with Ryan :-)
tomaro im stayin after school..then to Helenas..then chillin with Ryan and Jeremy...then saturday im chillin with Gui,Sarah, and Ryan...fun fun :-)
ehh i hafta go eat sumthin my mom says...
byebyez
haha
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELLY!!!!
i <3 KRK hahaha
1 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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xoxchubbyxox
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2004 15 September :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: ....
say one thing...do another
well since im not there nemore, you can go on pretending like i dont exist, if thats what you truly want to do. forget your promises....mayeb i wouldnt notice.
well its really shitty because you guys are all i had left. maybe youll reconsider. you meant everything to me, and i now i know what i meant to you.
please comment.
5 ::More::Secret::Lovers::That::I::Shot::Dead:: |
::I::Saw::Red::
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cocopuff
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2004 14 September :: 3.24pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Oasis-
hehee
lol well its been a while since i wrote in here....
havent been able to really write since scholl started and shit and im not home till later.. then i have homework to do... but today i came home after school.. lol and i dont have ne homework so i decited to write in here....
nothign really new.. im a boring person.. but yea.. yesterday some fucked up shit went down.. lol look at mandas journal if u want the scoop lol... other then that shits been same old same old...
im lookin to change this again.. but idk cuz i like this bg alot... lol but yea...
i have an obsession with the band Keane... i dled a song by them in july( the one in my last entry) and then liek last week Manda sent me 4 songs by them to.. and i fell inlove wiht all of them! lol espically this one...
Keane
We Might As Well Be Strangers
I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well
I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a another time
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well be strangers
Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know
i think im gonna get some grub then hit the sack and take a nap.. haha im soo cool huh!?
I <3 U ALEX!!!
<3 Lizzy
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