::
2004 24 March :: 8.47 am
...Up bright and early to accomplish some things.
1.) School work
2.) Room cleaning
3.) Doctors appointment at 12.
I think I've had more damn doctors appointments in the past year than anybody's ever had their whole life.
Eh ....
Bladder is hurting me really bad =( Not as bad as it could be but ... still hurts. If mom is feeling evil-free, I might get to see Brandon.
I'm not like, deprived of him or anything (obviously) but still.
Need to get more cigarettes... blah
I'm off to go through the beloved process of increasing my brain knowledge.
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 23 March :: 8.58 pm
I've never realized how good Juicy Fruit gum really was. I hated it before ... and then, about 10 seconds ago, I spotted a piece on the counter and devoured it. I must say, it is very good.
Props to Juicy Fruit ....
Me and Brandon worked SOME of our fighting issues out. Of course it took him discovering me crying hysterically and other things but yeah.
The fighting will be back soon though ...
Always is.
My fucking AIM STILL isn't working!!! It's driving me crazy. Every day, I just wanna click on the icon but I know that damn "The aim service cannot be reached" message is gonna pop up and laugh at me.
....Eh....
My beloved song that I've loved since I was younger:
"Run To The Water"
By: Live
oh desert speak to my heart
oh woman of the earth
maker of children who weep for love
maker of this birth
'til your deepest secrets are known to me
I will not be moved
I will not be moved
"don't try to find the answer
when there ain't no question here
brother let your heart be wounded
and give no mercy to your fear"
adam and eve live down the street from me
babylon is every town
it's as crazy as it's ever been
love's a stranger all around
in a moment we lost our minds here
and lay our spirit down
today we lived a thousand years
all we have is now
run to the water
and find me there
burnt to the core but not broken
we'll cut through the madness
of these streets below the moon
these streets below the moon
and I will never leave you
'til we can say, "this world was just a dream
we were sleepin' now we are awake"
'til we can say
in a moment we lost our minds here
and dreamt the world was round
a million mile fall from grace
thank god we missed the ground
run to the water
and find me there
burnt to the core but not broken
we'll cut through the madness
of these streets below the moon
with a nuclear fire of love in our hearts
yeah, I can see it now lord
out beyond all the breakin' of waves
and the tribulation
it's a place and the home of ascended souls
who swam out there in love!
run to the water
and find me there
burnt to the core but not broken
we'll cut through the madness
of these streets below the moon
with a nuclear fire of love in our hearts
rest easy baby, rest easy
and recognize it all as light and rainbows
smashed to smithereens and be happy
run to the water (and find me there)
run to the water
I'm very much in love with the chorus ...
*hugs* for the Pixie. =)
3 Seductions |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 21 March :: 1.14 pm
God, everything hurts =P Back, bladder, head ...
Might go to oklahoma with mom to get chad.
In that case, I must go get ready and I'll update later =P
2 Seductions |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 18 March :: 10.55 pm
Went to moms firefighter training today and took pictures of the practice fire's and stuff. It was cool I guess.
Today, me and Brandon got along so well. And even when he kissed me and stuff, I got all nervous cause it was like kissing somebody else. We went to the park and stuff and I saw a bear in the zoo. Brandon asked me if I wanted to go so we walked all the way around to the front and they were closed. He said he'd take me another day or whatever. I had my camera so we took pictures and stuff by the trees. It was nice. We didn't fight once...
And for some reason I'm just horribly depressed about it all. Maybe because everyday can't be like that.
Who knows...
Still feel like shit... bedtime will come early again tonight.
AIM is royally pissing me off.
Guess that's it ....
1 Seduction |
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::
2004 17 March :: 10.37 pm
Confusion *sigh* Basically all I feel now days. Hm.
I keep wondering how I'm supposed to say things without giving out too much information.
Definately need a cig....
It's just a matter of me getting off my ass to go smoke one. I'm unsure of whether I want to do that or not.
Hehe...
Laziness....
I'm thinking about a couple certain people.
....Thinking about myself, also. All of that's so confusing too.
heh..
AIM is being gay. It won't work =P
I can't talk to pixie now. Eh.
3 Seductions |
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::
2004 17 March :: 2.27 pm
:: Mood: amused
Well, better day I guess. Feel nice and shitty though. Got wasted last night with Brandon, his brother and one of his friends. Eh. SOMEHOW I ended up with a bruised and skinned knee, a knot in my back and really sore muscles. I remember most of what went on last night though so I think it was just from running into everything ....
teehee. =P
Never getting drunk again, by the way ....
Last night, I just kept crying over everything. Brandon slept through it all. He woke up every now and then and asked if I was okay but he just kept going back to sleep.
God... I have so much on my mind and so I'm so fucking confused about everything. ~.~
1 Seduction |
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::
2004 15 March :: 9.53 pm
:: Mood: depressed
"Soulmates Never Die" --Brian Molko
Everything seems so fucked up.
It's like, you think its gonna get better but it never does.
Even when one thing goes somewhat right ... There's something else somewhere else going completely wrong effecting you SOMEHOW.
Mmhm....
1 Seduction |
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::
2004 15 March :: 2.45 pm
:: Mood: Calm
:: Music: Yellowcard
Eating applejacks....
Jerry fucked my internet access up so that's why i haven't posted. Isn't he sweet????
I got another tat on my right ankle. Its of a rose I drew. With a bit of help =)
A friend of mine is in trouble... Hm. Having feelings about all that. But she's NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT. (Read big letters)
I still love her dearly =P
That's it for now. Just wanted to update.
Much love everybody
1 Seduction |
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::
2004 4 March :: 9.36 pm
:: Mood: Calm
Just got back from seeing mom. It's weird seeing her in there instead of me. Kinda different....
I had my EEG ran on me today. The guy was only like 23 and he didn't even dress like a doctor. He was in regular clothes. We talked a whole lot. I was there for about 3 hours. Half of that time I spent sleeping so he could watch my brain waves. Mmhm....
Brandon still hasn't heard from his mom. He missed her call. Mom might let me stay with him tomorrow night. I hope =P
Ya know, when I go back and look at all the things I write about in here, It just makes me feel like a fucking idiot. It's like, It's not me typing any of it. It seems like its somebody else.
o.0
1 Seduction |
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::
2004 4 March :: 1.32 am
I can't even remember if I posted that they took mom and put her in the hospital but they did. I can't remember shit lately so if I've already talked about it, fuck it.
Last night, Brandon's mom got thrown in jail. Not gonna go into it....
She'll be gone for a few years I'm sure though. All over her fucking boyfriend. Brandon's dad left him when he was a baby so yeah... He doesn't have anybody.
Kinda sad that both of our Moms... the only people we have....got locked up in different places on the same fucking day. His in jail and mine in a mental facility.
Hurts a lot to really look at her in the eyes.... She looks so little.
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 2 March :: 5.07 pm
My beautiful Kurt...
hehe, isn't he great?? =)
Who's your inner rockstar?
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 2 March :: 3.01 pm
:: Mood: Shitty
:: Music: Ocean Avenue- Yellowcard
Mom's Gone
Mom left to go to the Pavilion not too long ago. Yellowcard came on as she was leaving. Kinda depressed me. I dunno why but I find the song Ocean Avenue depressing. It's the chorus that really gets to me. But yeah...
I've been working on my guitar and stuff. Wrote a couple more songs. Mmhm.
*Sigh*
1 Seduction |
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::
2004 1 March :: 10.45 pm
:: Mood: calm
Mom got drunk again tonight. She was doing SO good. She stabbed herself in the leg and in the hand again. Her firefighting chief called and I said she wasn't there but she just HAD to talk to him. I kept telling her to keep her mouth shut and NOW, shes not apart of the fire department anymore. He said she can come back when her doctor writes a letter saying she's in control of herself and that she can do it. He also gave me his number and told me that If I needed him to come out here, He'd get Station 4 out here to take care of her. They're emitting her into the Pavilion tomorrow because they're changing her meds. So I guess the side effects can be dangerous.
Last night, me and mom went to wal mart and she bought me a black light and a psycho strobe light. She also wanted to re decorate the house and everything so she bought all kinds of paint and curtains but then she said she was gonna put it all in her storage because she didn't believe her and Jeff were ever gonna make it.
I watched Forever Eden tonight. Kinda weird...
I'm not in school anymore. They basically kicked me out. They said that there was no point in me coming to school because they won't count any of my work that I do but if I don't come, they'll sue us. Fucking retards. They said they were gonna fail me because I've missed more than 10% of my classes but I have notes for every day I was gone. So yeah, mom had to pull me out. I can either get my GED when I turn 16 or I can go back to school when I'm feeling better and take a placement test to determine what grade I'll go into.
Brandon's been burning.... He's got this thing for erasers. He does a damn good job with it all though. I never wouldve thought he, of all people, would be a burner. You can definatly tell he's not bullshittin about it though. For every bad fight we've had lately, he burns a mark into his left arm. He's managed to make a big K across his forearm. His mom saw it ... He walked away from her and never said anything about it but his mom's a bitch and I know she'll blame me for it all.
But yeah... *hugs* to everybody. Hope everyone is doing okay.
Much Love
1 Seduction |
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::
2004 26 February :: 2.01 pm
:: Mood: Tired
QUICK update on things...
1.) Having dreams about Jerry raping me
2.) Mom stabbed herself in the leg 2ice last night and drank with "lethal" medication.
3.) The school threatened to sue me and have my license post poned because of my absenses and so mom took me out of school. I'll try to get my GED later on.
4.) Me and Brandon got into a huge fight yesterday in the cafeteria. He yelled at me in front of all his friends because I had cigarettes in my purse. I forgot to take them out.... And then he called me stupid AGAIN. Now, keep in mind, you guys don't know the whole entire story so he's not a COMPLETE asshole and I still love him =P
5.) Jeff is acting just like Jerry
6.) I was told I looked a lot thinner :P hehe, yay
I think thats about all...
One day, when I'm not so lazy I'll write more =P
Hehe... Much love
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 23 February :: 11.55 pm
:: Mood: Tired
Things have been pretty good here. Thank god ...
I did cut again though... Me and Brandon got into a fight and I cut. Not too bad but I still did it. Well, i was asleep on his bed and his brother was playing video games and he read what I had put on my ankle and Brandon saw it....
Well, TODAY, I noticed he had burned himself with one of those damn pencil erasers. He had done it sometimes but they were really hard to find on him without LOOKING for them. Well, he did his the same night I did mine. I just feel horrible because I feel like I helped influence him to do it. That sounds stupid but ... yeah.
I just hate it that he found mine ... It's like, you do it and you don't ever want anybody to see in fear they'll take it away from you and also because thats YOURS ... Nobody else's. It's like your own little secret that nobody's supposed to know about. And now mine's been found...
But yeah, anyway
Mom hasn't drank in almost 2 weeks. She has more personalities. One that smokes... Haha... My mom HATES cigarettes so its weird when she comes in and asks for one. I really am proud of her though. Hehe....
*hugs* to everybody
2 Seductions |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 20 February :: 2.01 am
:: Mood: Depressed
:: Music: The difference--Matchbox 20
Mmkay, I'm gonna try to make all this as short as possible. I don't much feel like writing right now.
I haven't been on much because I felt really bad for being on so much and not being with brandon. I wanted to just keep a journal OFF the net but I don't think I'd keep up with it so for now, I'll force myself to write in this one.
The school started shit the other day. I'm not going into it but now I'm dropping out and getting my GED. Thank god, I won't have to put up with all their shit.
Jerry's joining the army right? Well, we were in the car today (Me, him, and his g/f Liz) and we were driving home listening to Matchbox 20. Their song called The Difference came on and its like, I hate him SO fucking bad but he knows Liz is leaving him when he goes to the army. While it was playing, I kept watching him and he kept looking down and looking out the window every now and then. I'll post the lyrics below. It's such a fucking sad song when it comes to that shit. And like I said, I hate him SO bad but all I could do was just cry. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face.
Brandon did his hair like a little jamaican kid. He's so fucking cute =)
THE DIFFERENCE
Slow dancing on the boulevard
In the quiet moments while the citys still dark
Sleepwalking through the summer rain
In the tired spaces
You could hear her name when she was warm and tender
And you held her arms around you
There was nothing but her love and affection
She was crazy for you
Now she's part of something that you lost
[Chorus]
And for all you know
This could be
The difference between what you need
And what you wanna be
Yeah, what you wanna be
Night swimming in her diamond dress
Making small circles move across the surface
Stand watching from the steady shore
Feeling wide open and waiting for
Something warm and tender
Now she's moving further from you
There was nothing that could make it easy on you
Every step you take reminds you that she's walking on
[Chorus]
Yeah, for all you know
This could be
The difference between what you need
And what you want
Every word you never said
Echoes down your empty hallway
And everything that was your world
Just came down
Day breaking on the boulevard
Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart
Light swimming right across your face
And you think maybe someday, yeah
Maybe someday
[Chorus]
For all you know
Yeah, this could be
The difference between what you need
And what you want
Yeah, for all you know
For all you know
Yeah, for all that you know
This is what you wanna be
What you wanna be
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 16 February :: 8.45 pm
Guys AND Girls ;)
Tomboy
What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 16 February :: 8.43 pm
:: Mood: Somewhat Happy
:: Music: Jack Off Jill
Mom's bringing me home those lemon ice CHILL thingies you eat with spoons (if you're normal) and some apples... yummy. Hehe...
Until then .... Strawberry Gashes ;)
Strawberry Gashes
Turn her over
A candle is lit, I see through her
Blow it out and save all her ashes for me
Curse me sold her
The poison that runs it's course through her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
Called her over
and asked her if she was improving
She said "feels fine" it's wonderful wonderful here
Hex me told her
I dreamt of a devil that knew her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over - all over
I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"
Scold me failed her
If only I'd held on tighter to her
Pale white skin that twisted and withered away from me away from me
Watch me lose her
It's almost like losing myself
Give her my soul
and let them take somebody else get away from me
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over all over me
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 16 February :: 6.19 pm
Dr. Dickhead
Mom called the director of the ER this morning to report that doctor well, guess what???
All my files have been deleted from the computer. Hmmm... wonder how THAT could've happened? fucking asshole...
Mom was in a really good mood today. She even brought me home a pack of cigarettes (with her alcohol) which isn't to usual. haha. I was like "thank you mommm" But then Jerry brought my dad on the porch and was yelling and screaming and being pathetic and then decided to say "Yeah and mom always goes into Kristen's room to have her so called 'schizophrenic breakdowns'" so now Dad knows everything because of Jerry's dumbass.
Eh ...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 15 February :: 11.44 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: Hurt--Nine Inch Nails
Tummy hurts, fever ...
Same old usual SHIT. I looked back at the entry I wrote about the hospital visit and I just feel so stupid for writing it. I'm not sure why but its like, there was so much more that happened and so much more that I want to say and I just dont know how to put it all into words.
I think I'm just gonna go to bed...
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 15 February :: 3.44 am
You're Bettie Page!
What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
1 Seduction |
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::
2004 15 February :: 2.56 am
:: Mood: Sad
:: Music: Behind Blue Eyes
The day it all went away...
To Jerry ...
Another sad attempt
To win the battle I always fight against you
Just like yesterday, You win again.
I gaze into the eyes of the sad and lonely people you hurt daily
....too many broken smiles.
I manage to run my eyes across your beautiful veins every day...
If only you knew the things I dream of.
Trying to get away from the monster I see in you,
I follow the wallpaper border around the room.
Somehow though, I always end right back at you.
I reach out and tear out your pretty blue eyes
Just so I can get you to watch the tears stain mine red.
Let me run away from you ...
I carve my name up and down your body
Just to make sure you'll never forget me again.
And then I whisper softly ...
"You were always special to me.
But it really did hurt ..."
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 15 February :: 1.48 am
Short entry ...
I went to the hospital. 8 hours of being there, the doctor comes in and tell me I can go home because "If I'm old enough to have sex, I should be able to face the pain that comes with it sometimes" He also said "If your daughter would stop screwing around and stay with ONE sex partner, she might not have this problem now would she??" I HAVE had one sex partner for a year now. ONE. And we all know his name!! That asshole asked me how old I was when I became sexually active. I answered with 13. So he AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED that since I became sexually active at the age of 13, I've been sleeping with different men ever since. He never stopped to think that I might have just been molested, now did he ...
So I was just basically called a whore for something I couldn't help ...
The sad thing is, I've been called a whore for a long time now. People at school, my brother, the man that molested me, and now my own doctor ...
I've been with one person and I've enjoyed every minute of that year with them. ONE FUCKING PERSON ...
And I'm called a whore for it ... *tear*
I'm really hurting right now ...
Hugs for Pixie...
Sorry for the stupid entry. Just needed to vent some ...
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 14 February :: 1.34 am
:: Mood: Bored
| The Basics | | Male/Female: | Female | | Heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual?: | Bisexual | | Are you certain of your sexual orientation?: | No =( | | If not, why arn't you? If you are, how do you know?: | what ori-en....*sounds out* ta....tion mean? | | Your age: | 15 | | How often do you think about sex in a normal day?: | hehe... | | How often do you think about other sexual acts besides intercourse?: | Ummmieee...I'm not sure | | Have you ever had sex?: | Yes | | Do you like... | | Vaginal sex: | Yeahhhhh | | Anal sex: | Nope | | Oral sex: | Sometimesss | | Fingering/handjobs: | hehe | | Something not mentioned above that you like: | BONDAGE!!!! and um... biting =) | | Which of the above do you prefer?: | ....biting =) | | Intrests | | What (if any) fetishes do you have?: | No fetishes that are in my head at this time ... | | Do you like sexual situations with more than one person?: | Um...it sure would be interesting!! | | With several people of the same sex?: | That would also be interesting | | The opposite sex?: | Never done it | | Or even sexual situations with several people of diffrent sexes?: | Never done that either | | If you haven't tried any of the above, might you in the future? Why/Why not: | Possibly =P | | Do you have a steady partner?: | Yes | | Do you use protection?: | Sometimes | | How important is foreplay to you: | Um... kinda important | | The Kiss | | Do you like kissing people/a person?: | Yep | | What is your favorite part of kissing?: | The emotion of it all | | Tounge or no tounge?: | TONGUE! | | Where is the best place to be kissed (on your body): | Neck | | Where is the worst place to be kissed (on your body): | eh... | | Who do you wish you could kiss?: | *secret* | | How important is kissing in a serious relationship?: | Well, if they dont have a mouth, its understandable but other than that, its pretty important. | | And... | | What's your favorite sexual position: | One I made up =) I'll take pictures and share it with you all!!! | | Where is the oddest place you've ever had sex: | No odd places really .. Brandon's Mom's bathtub was kinda nice... | | Where do you want to have sex: | Underneath a waterfall | | Would you mind if people watched?: | hehe, who cares | | How important is sex in your life: | Not very important. Its wonderful here and there though | | Name a fantasy you have: | We're not goin there... | | Do you like having sex... | | With toys?: | Never used toys :P | | In the dark or light?: | Dark | | Outside?: | Ooo.... New ideas | | In costume?: | hehe... | | In bondage?: | oh man ..*drool* | | Submissive/dominate?: | Submissive | | With lubricant?: | ...I produce my own | | Flavored condoms?: | They really dont taste as good as they say they do ... | | With anything else unusual?: | teehee... *grin* | | Finally... | | Do you like this survey?: | Yes, actually .... |
Sex Survey for the Repressed brought to you by BZOINK!
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 14 February :: 12.53 am
:: Mood: Boreeeddd
I'm obsessed with this song now...
Nine inch nails =) *drool*
"Hurt"
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear my crown of shit
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stain of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 13 February :: 10.06 pm
:: Mood: Bored
| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | | Category | Your Score | Average | | Self-Lovin' | 63.3%
Explored the pleasures of the flesh | 65% | | Shamelessness | 64.3%
It takes a couple of drinks | 79.3% | | Sex Drive | 73.7%
A fool for love, but not always | 77.6% | | Straightness | 12.5%
Knows the other body type like a map | 44.8% | | Gayness | 80.4%
Repressed, are we? | 83.5% |
| Fucking Sick | 70.8%
Dipped into depravity | 89.9% |
You are 60.1% pure
Average Score: 72.6%
| |
1 Seduction |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 5 February :: 3.22 pm
schizoid
Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your: Mysterious eyes. All in the title. Your
independant secretive and myseterious. You
appear cold and distant, but hey, at leats no
one messes with you.
What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
Apathy, well I can say your lucky, in some ways.
You see Apathy is no emotion, basically you
don't care. But that does not make you a bad
person. Some of my friends are apathetic and I
love them, but it wouldn't hurt to care a
little more. Trust me life hurts, most people
who are apathetic do it cause they were hurt.
But don't worry, life is pain, its also
pleasure. Good luck. (please vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla
2 Seductions |
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 5 February :: 2.47 pm
:: Mood: Sick
My bladder is still hurting today. I've had really bad fevers and nausea and everything so mom said she'd probably take me to the ER later since my doctors can't seem to pull their heads out of their asses.
I think moms a little pissed at me. I slept until a little after one, watched my music videos while I layed on the couch and then when she started cleaning, and wanted our help, I got on the computer...
My doctor's secretary just called. She's putting me on tylenol 3. She said I could go to school with it but mom didn't think so cause it has codine in it. Oh joy =)
so no school until Monday.
Jerry decided he wasn't going to school today because he "didn't feel like it". He does this a lot. He had a chance at valedictorian but hes missed like 30 days (no joke) because he didn't feel like going.
Personally, I hope he fails his senior year
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 4 February :: 2.46 pm
We went to family therapy today. Yes, my family is so fucked up, we actually have "therapy" (or what they like to call therapy...) to try and fix us. Keep in mind, we aren't fixable. So I sat there while my older brother talked and tried to make himself feel like the good guy even though me and mom could both see right through him ...
I sat there, had a temperature over 100 and took all the shit he said and just absorbed it. It made me sick. And then my "Step-dad" has the nerve to tell me that I'm "15 years old, going on 21. You don't do shit your mom says ... " blah fucking blah. Well um, newsflash asshole, Mom has a personality disorder, shes a cutter, she's an alcoholic, and she doesn't eat much. I take care of all of this. No exaggeration. NOBODY, not even her own fucking husband, knew about any of that before I did. I sit there and wait for her other personality to come out and cut right in front of me and I take it all in. And all the things she says to me. I take it all in ...
Everyday, I hear ... "Kristen, I'm so sorry ... You're the only one I trust and I love you so much". And she's not lying. She's always been there for me whether she was "herself" or not. She's my mom and she's my best friend.
But I sat there, and listened to them trash me ... after they never did anything about any of it. When she got drunk, they'd all leave the house. I'd stay and take care of mom ...
Mom came out here a few minutes ago to give me Sid's address. That's her best friend, I guess only she doesn't know him in real life. She met him when he was 16 on the internet. Well, the only reason she gave it to me was so that I could get ahold of him incase anything happened to her.
And see, I guess I kinda make it sound like she's seeking attention, but really she keeps it hidden very well. I just have past experience with it all so I know where to find it all.
Seduce Me ... |
::
2004 2 February :: 6.28 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
I come in the fucking door and my bladder is hurting like hell so I'm nearly at the point of bawling. I'm SO sick of this shit.
Well, I ask Jerry what the fuck is wrong with the internet and he LIES about it at first and then says that he unplugged it. After he says that, he says that its the TOWER thats making the internet not work. So, he goes outside and when he comes back in, it magically starts working again which means he had to have done what I asked him to do!! He claims that I'm a "fucking dumbass" and that he didn't do anything to it. It just came on by itself. So we're in the kitchen and hes still bitching and I accidently spilled boiling water all over my hand. Reaction --- "GOD DAMMIT!" -- Jerry says "shut the fuck up" I tell him that I spilled the water all over my hand and he can shuv everything up his fucking ass. Then! He wouldn't move out of my way because he got some wild hair in his ass and decided to stair me down so I shoved him out of the way. Keep in mind that my bladder is hurting really fucking bad and when I yell, it hurts and if anybody touches my stomach, it hurts. Well, Jerry turns around and shoves me, stomach first, into the drawer.
He's a FUCKING ASSHOLE. UGH!!!!!!!!!
On better notes, yesterday was mine and brandon's one year anniversary. He gave me roses, we went and got pictures taken in those cool little booths, he took me out to eat and then when we got back to his house (Him and his mom set this up) all the lights are off, the bathtub is filled with bubbles and water and there's rose petals all through the water, on the floor, and just all around the bathroom. There's also candles EVERYWHERE. It was gorgeous =) His family left us in the house by ourselves so we could have our time together and we took a bath and stuff. It was so pretty!
I came home last night and my little brother, Chad had totally chopped his fucking hair off with a pair of scissors. He did it because he was pissed. He also had a thing with completely pulling his hair out. It's some kind of disorder, like with self mutilation, only its with your hair. I tried to explain that to jerry too but since hes so fucking dense, he said I was full of shit. I HAPPENED to be in treatment with people that did that so I think I just might fucking know what I'm talking about.
Eh...
Seduce Me ... |
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