the end is the beginning is the end

the end is the beginning is the end

:: 2004 22 April :: 1.59 pm

as documented throughout the history of the world, hate will solve everything
i don't understand war. sure, teach me the politics, the historical background, the fighting tactics, etc. and i can understand how and why it happens. anyone can understand stats and data written in a book. but i don't understand this sick preoccupation with power. this incessant need of control over everything and everyone. this insatiable hunger for corporal things that last only as long as your dollar has value. i don't understand how a person can be so intolerant of another as to murder them. i suppose this is because i use common sense in my life. for example, if i'm walking through a park and come upon some flowers, i will probably think, "oh look, there's a flower. it's natural. it's beautiful. it grew from something i had no part in. it is completely indepedent of me. it is its very own being; life is flowing through each tiny petal. so delicate, yet so intricate - just like me. that's amazing." walk away. not, "oh look, there's a flower. i think i will crush it with my super-awesome human strength just because i feel like it. just because i can."

i guess if i was fed lies, hate, and guns my whole life, i wouldn't understand a person like me.

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:: 2004 17 April :: 12.08 pm

keep nicole's uncle marty in your hearts and prayers today.

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:: 2004 16 April :: 8.47 pm

furere aliqua
the true definition of love

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:: 2004 13 April :: 8.45 pm

you don't have enough time to search for something you'll never find
this is something i'd normally scribble down on a scrap of paper and lose somewhere in the abyss of paper ideas that cover my desk:

you know how there's that cheesy saying, "the best things in life are free"? well, i don't agree with it.

the only things that matter in life are free. anything that has to be compared to and valued by a price tag is completely worthless.

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:: 2004 5 April :: 4.00 pm

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:: 2004 1 April :: 2.21 pm

the world's getting better.

april fool's.

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:: 2004 30 March :: 11.19 pm

j'ai faim comme le loup
whispers and hugs
butterflies and winks
words rise and bodies sink

"we will be
today, tomorrow and
forever, you'll see."

grins and crooked shins
lash bats and nervous coughs
lips lock and bodies mock

"i'm in you
and you're in me and
together we'll be free."

lies and smudged eyes
severed veins and rotten moss
backs turn and bodies frost

"i meant to
and i thought we
and
it couldn't be."

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:: 2004 29 March :: 3.59 pm

ask yourself this question
knowing what i know, and knowing i know so little of what could be known, why do i do the things i do?

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:: 2004 28 March :: 1.18 am

hey, you said you'd love to die some
okay, know what? you all are nuts!! this atkins diet business has gone past being out of control - it's officially full-out insanity! i saw a commercial for arby's, and they are now serving meat with lettuce and tomatoes as a meal. just that. no bread. what?! have you all gone mad?? arby's is famous for its sandwiches!! no bread = no sandwich! what the hell is going on here??

FADS! TRENDS! STUPID!

HERE'S AN IDEA:
eat a variety of foods in moderation, and move around a little bit! presto!

oh, but wait, i'm so very silly! doing that would take effort and patience! this is AMERICA after all, and everything must happen in the INSTANT snap of a finger, with NO WORK done on our part whatsoever. give us the quickest, easiest, most ready-to-throw-away product to turn ourselves into plastic smiley anorexic-sexy rich motherfuckers. that is the exact key to self-fulfillment, self-actualization, and true happiness.

all praise the mighty bullshit of this world.

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:: 2004 27 March :: 1.04 am

mexican seafood
If I were a month, I'd be: happy.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: short.
If I were a time of day, I'd be: forever.
If I were a planet, I'd be: gaseous.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: able to breathe underwater.
If I were a direction, I'd be: "do not enter! wrong way."
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: an ottoman.
If I were a sin, I'd be: suicide.
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: anyone who got to hang out with Jesus.
If I were a liquid, I'd be: semen. i don't even mean it in a sick way either. i could be a little sperm guy ( ~o) and see what it's like to race to an egg. i think it'd be crazy amazing. or i'd be blood, for much the same reason - i could be involved in the very essence of life, the one thing that keeps everything working in us.
If I were a tree, I'd be: a sequoia, because 1) i'd be in california (which would be fabulous, and joe would come visit me) and 2) because i'd have an insanely awesome view of the world.
If I were a bird, I'd be: one that flies, and that's all i'd do, all the time. who wants to waste time eating or sleeping when they can hang out all day soaring above the world?
If I were a tool, I'd be: me. brianne calls me a tool all the time.
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: a cactus. they don't need much to survive, and that is so very appealing to me. not to mention living in the desert, experiencing beautiful sunsets and amazing thunderstorms... wow.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: a thunderstorm.
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be: hephaestus - he was lame (literally, his leg was messed up) but he still got with aphrodite. awesome.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: strings, of any kind.
If I were an animal, I'd be: a seahorse, cuz they're good daddies.
If I were a color, I'd be: gray. the perfect balance of color extremes.
If I were an emotion, I'd be: love.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: an avocado for Danielle.
If I were a sound, I'd be: rain, or waves crashing onto shore.
If I were an element, I'd be: lithium.
If I were a car, I'd be: a 1979 chevy caprice.
If I were a song, I'd be: in minor chords.
If I were a movie, I'd be: one that hasn't been made yet.
If I were a book, I'd be: long.
If I were a food, I'd be: simple and sugary.
If I were a place, I'd be: pristine - a forest or beach untouched by humans.
If I were a material, I'd be: corduroy.
If I were a taste, I'd be: lips.
If I were a scent, I'd be: spring.
If I were a religion, I'd be: laurism. (anyone wanna join? follow me.)
If I were a word, I'd be: "confuzzled."
If I were an object, I'd be: a hot chick's underwear.
If I were a body part, I'd be: a brain. er, wait, i already am. perhaps an eyeball then.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: that sexy look when your head is tilted down, but your eyes are looking up. or just a cheesy grin.
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: everything.
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: batman or woody the woodpecker.
If I were a shape, I'd be: a square. a goody-goody, straight-edge square.
If I were a number, I'd be: last.

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:: 2004 22 March :: 10.42 pm

cellar door
ashleigh nugent, brandy turner, nicole mccarthy, danielle versexy, joe fiorenza, stephanie clark, amy mcbrearty, kathy gavagan:

send $1 to this man:

Andy
Woohu.com
P.O. Box 10
Cedar Springs, MI 49319

and then post something in your journal telling all of your pals to do the same and to pass it on to their friends, and so forth. this guy is our age and spending every cent he makes to keep this site up... let's help him out.

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:: 2004 3 March :: 3.28 pm

i've been writing little bits of things here and there... on napkins, post-it notes, chunks of loose leaf, etc... so, hopfeully sometime soon, i'll be able to write something articulate. in the mean time, i was looking through papers from high school and i found a couple poems i wrote for creative writing last year. here you are danielle:

Her Eyes Are Gray
(this one is hard to read, but try it.)

Walking by, I noticed
Her eyes are gray but she says they're
Blue is my favorite
Color is only desired by the myth in
Our minds will be eaten by
Worms live in the ground
Must be confused with me because
Everyone walks all over and passes by, but never stops
To say "how are you?"
Requires movement of the mouth
That stains each word with
Lies are guaranteed to open
Wounds only bleed sometimes but never
Heal when you find your end
Inside they look gray
But blue is my favorite color

Untitled

I'm reminded of double-sided tape
One twist, bend, or fold
And it is ruined forever
All promise erased in an instant
Left stuck, strangling a finger

I'm reminded of broccoli stench
Cheese, seasoning, or other vegetables
Cannot disguise
Gnawed-away tree tops
Hidden in mashed potatoes

I'm reminded of days wasted
Working, eating, breathing
For accepted unknowns
Rushing to death
Waiting, and still waiting
For life

Comfort lies behind closed eyes

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