the end is the beginning is the end

the end is the beginning is the end

:: 2004 5 July :: 10.28am
:: Mood: rushed
:: Music: interpol album on repeat

laughing too hard
andy n i are in the basement. andy's online *clears throat* and i'm watching the apocalyptica DVD (again) and i'm talking baout the teodore dude acting like a "sick bird" as andy put it. so i'm looking at this guy and i'm like, "he's like a sick bird. he's like a bird that you behead and he's still moving and twitching after he's dead. it's like trying to headbang without a head."

allow me to gush over apocalyptica. teodore is all yeah and things. he's the newest member of the band, he gets ALL the solos and he thinks he's all that. he headbangs like he has no head and dresses like he has no penis. it bothers me.

there's an old guy who's balding. he wears shiny clothes. i don't like it.

there's a man with short black hair, the odd one out cuz the rest of them have really light really long hair. he also has a vachinga. that's a vagina pattern on the chin.

then there's eicca. he's hot. he's talented. he's got the bod. he's got the fingers. he's got the most awesome hair. he has this gorgeous deep voice ("romance..."). he is not married. he can pull off leather. he's perfect. he can't be straight. *sigh* i adore him very much.

we've been thinking, we're very different children. we watch music DVDs instead of movies. like apocalyptica and smashing pumpkins. we orgasmed over billy, d'arcy and eicca. we rock. music addicts. what would you do without us?

bbq for 4th of july. never done that before, except for that time at the embassy. there was a cute little hcinese baby girl, bem bem running around, amoosed by andy's blue hair. she kept looking at the sky too. we lit fireworks and firecrackers cheered in kuwaiti. then we ran around barefoot in the sand, like kuwaiti children have done before us, like our ancestors did it. yeah.

what else? yeah. i am do the head. andy will do the head. jessye IS the head.

also. i played bowling today for the first time in my life. I WON! i had 70 points. andy 60. everyone else just sucked. it was awesome. i don't know anything about bowling, so i rolled the ball from between my legs. it was dubbed, ToTo style. i rock. in the words of andy "if there's a god, it's ToTo"; scary thought.

after bowling, we went to the arcade place, i did dance dance revolution again. barefoot. gougou filmed. then we got the little bumper car things. and THEN we did that ball room war! it was hilarious. you put sponge balls in guns and shoot them at people, then andy runs in and goes "i'm a target! i'm a target!" so we all shoot HER. we kept rotating targets. the targets picked up the balls and threw them at the gun-shooting people. it was funny. it was all "it's like palestine and israel." i felt like a palestinian.

stuff happened. when we got home they al went to sleep, it was just me n gougou in the basement. watching apocayptica. again. then we came upstairs and woke up andy and jessye. now i blog. the end. that was breif. considering i haven't updated in a while, not for real at least.

to all the people who are bored with the fact that i'm not updating and keeping them entertained with my life. go out and LIVE!

2 comments | leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 2 July :: 5.37pm
:: Mood: inspired
:: Music: zodiac - naked together

swing swing
swing swing
we're going back in time
sing sing
we're gonna cross the line
fling fling
why does it mean so much?
swing swing
why does it mean so much?

fine fine
we're gonna be just fine
mine mine
i'm gonna make this mine
wine wine
i'll pour you one more glass
fine fine
i'll pour you one more glass

kiss kiss
i still feel your breath here
this this
no worries and no fears
miss miss
i'm gonna miss those lips
miss miss
i'm gonna miss those lips

swing swing
the night's young and so'm i
sing sing
a teenage lullabye
fling fling
why does it mean so much?
swing swing
why does it mean so much?

leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 2 July :: 3.41pm
:: Mood: *picks teeth*
:: Music: distorted penguins - about you

where was i?
alright. marina. me and AC. we went to virgin for a bit, then made our merry ways to the one. barney joined us soon after. then came ozy and patrick. andy and la tete. funny midget-wrestling on the couch. then cuddling with ozy (he started it). after we made insane amounts of noise and figured out the bill, (scared patrick shitless; he missed a placebo concert and he had backstage passes too) we went our separate (for now) ways. i found the quiet guitarist at virgin, and we glonked together for a bit while patrck, ozy, barney and AC roamed virgin and andy and jessye went to find credit for andy's fone. we finally got kicked out and walked to the other side. ozy and patrick left for the food court. we went to tche tche. *makes evil sign at name*, then forgot barney there and went to johnny rocket's where AC and i developed plans for our penis. the penis duo called, and the guitarist boy left, and we were all together again, full. virgin. again.

[the following passage has been removed for mental purposes]

then i came home and proposed to laurence. andy don't hurt me....

2 comments | leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 1 July :: 4.24pm
:: Mood: *flicks wrist* ohay
:: Music: lenny kravitz - believe in me

today!
AC spent the night! that rocked, i didn't think that was gonna happen, ever. so we wake up today at around 7, and my mom goes "oh my God you BOTH slept in bed? oh wake up, she's so small and short..." *giggle* she loves AC, just because she's short. it was hilarious.

basically, she's sitting there on my floor in her tiny little shorts and my oversized t-shirt. then my brother walks in. i go "no no no no..." and he leaves. then i go to the kitchen. he asks "who was that? she's a new face." and i go "my friend. noor. she's m7ajaba. you weren't supposed to walk in." and he goes "but i saw her hair. and her legs." i'm like "that's why you should knock." then he goes "wait a minute, is this noor as in beladi's noor?" and i go "yeah." so he grins. "i got to see her hair before he did. i'm gonna go tell him now." funny.

so right, morning. i wake up, wash up, wake AC up, we drive to KU so that i can take my entrance exam. math and english. we see the entire school there. exaggeration, but you get the idea. fara7 fayyad (commie!) and amirah and CONCUBINE I HEART YOU! (who is NOT dark by the by) and and and THE HOT GUY FROM A BLOCK! *joy and dancing*. the english was piss easy (yesterday there _______ two cars parked here. a)was b)is c)were d)are ) the math screwed me over. the end. *blames andy*

while i was taking the exam AC went to the airport with my brother and mother. let's not talk about that. just imagine it.... my mother. my brother. AC. 2 hours.

so we went home, then we went to AC's house where i slept. then marina. woo woo. complications. i continue later.

2 comments | leave a comment

WhitePony

:: 2004 30 June :: 2.35pm

If you didnt catch it, the entry below is a metaphor for how I feel about this journal business. Thats why I never update.

2 comments | leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 29 June :: 11.47pm
:: Mood: scerred (and slumber party in my stomach)
:: Music: andy glonking

we are living out the male sexual fantasy of all-girl sleep overs
right. andy n i are sitting here. andy glonking in her skirt and push-up bra, me in boxers and a not push up but NICE bra. jessye is in the shower. now she's in a towel. why you may ask.

right, so jessye came in the airport, we partied, i "yababt" and things. we came home, we ate. we talked a LOT and we ate. we laughed and ate. hold on it gets better. i'll get into other details later, but in the meantime, i must speak of jessye's first arab adventure.

andy gets a bright idea that, at 6 in the morning, we should go take a walk, since it's nice out. so we went. we walked. on the way to the park, a car drives by and greets us. the nice american girl greets back, not aware of the laws of fintas. the car stalks us. we try to lose it, run into a baqalla where a guy that has been driving around playing insanely loud egyptian music awaits us. we linger in the baqalla, then check to see if the coast is clear. it's not. the egyptian guy asks me, "police?" and i go "....no." we wait a little more, then decide to make a run for it. the egyptian guy decides, "no, stay here, have a drink." he pulls out 3 pepsis from the little thing, hands one to each of us, and insists we stay for a while, to chill. we politely do so. one thing, jessye's a diabetic, she can't have pepsi. i'm a recovering heart patient. i can't have pepsi. we silently sip. then we thank the man very much, we must go and we're sorry, we have nothing to pay for the drinks. he says "no no, if you need anything, call me" and he gives each of us his card. we thank him, we leave and sneak around back roads all the way home. it gets better. the car kept showing up again (this nasty white '83 benz) and we'd have to take detours. also, the loud egyptian man also passed by us a couple times, making sure we'd call him if we needed anything. and we're home. as soon as we got home we realized how hot it was out. so we took off our shirts, i tok off my pants, and we lay around. then one by one we shower. andy just got out of the shower. it's my turn now. wow. interesting day. i bet their entries will also be interesting to read.

4 comments | leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 28 June :: 8.14am
:: Mood: dirty *scratches head*
:: Music: hayden

the day
i'm at andy's house! woo woo!

ok so the day started crap crap crap, my mother stuck various coloured pencils in my eye, and THEN, i FINALLY get my brother to drive me to fintas. before i get there i call andy "i'm almost there, could you come outside, and bring a small water bottle with you?" i got there. i waited. i went inside, got the water myself. i went to the basement and hung out with jake and sarah. then i went upstairs. she was STILL on the computer. talking to laurence. kids...

so yeah, i throw down my stuff, we go sponge shopping. as we amble down the stairs i say something, and then andy replies with something totally random. i turn around, shake my head, and go " deaf american girl, get your boobs out of your ears." she sits on the stairs and laughs. ms jackie said it was so that she wouldn't pee on herself. we go and we're in the sponge place and we're going around looking for.... something. then we find this really comfy bed. throw ourselves on it. suddenly irealize, i've never had a pillow fight in a public place before. i mean the fantasy pillow fight, in our underwear and stuff, on a bed. must do that sometime. *makes mental note*. we did have a pillow fight of sorts though. and then, we leave and go the other sponge place, look at ugly bedrooms, buy a bag of white stuff, and then RUN to fantasy world. no really RUN. like little kids. arms in the air, feet too far apart. running through bushes and things. as soon as we walk in, i see the car models. i'm mesmerized. they had every ferrarri except a dino. fools. we looked at BJ and barney dolls. i looked for fingerboards. we found a magical goonie thing. then made fun of bratz. wait! it gets better! as soon as we leave andy goes "TRAMPOLINE!"

she's running towards it, JUMPS on without a care in the world, flip flops flying off, and she's jumping. me, i had trouble getting my sneakers off. then i had trouble climbing onto the damned thing. then i jumped too! my phone flew out of my pocket in a second, and i dove after it. it was hilarious fun. wow.

panting and wheezing, we go back to the car, get dinner and lemonade (lemonade rocks! why have i never tried it before?) go home, things things things. and THEN, we're up here, glonking. andy tries on her dress, this beautiful, gorgeous (i took so many pictures) gown, really classy. she's standing there in ehr heals and i go "the only problem is jewelery. i wish you had something fancier on." what does she reply? "well shit happens". whatever class she portrayed, killed it, BUTCHERED IT, CHEWED IT UP LIKE TOBACCO AND SPAT IT OUT IN THE THING. *shakes head* that girl, i'll swanee...

right. i slept early-ish. but then i heard stories. i deny.

oh! i bit her in the arm last night and now there's this big round bruise there! *giggle* she bruises like a peach. i enjoy it. *makes mental note to give bruise BALANCE*

io'm gonna go shower now. *scratches head* damned lice....

2 comments | leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 27 June :: 8.38am
:: Mood: trapped
:: Music: muse - butterflies and hurricanes

ever feel like it doesn't matter what you do because someone else did it first?
maybe not the right question. still, it's the question i usually think about. then i also think, when you're someone's somone, and then that someone fucks up, are you also at fault?

maybe. who knows? i don't know. it's not like i CHOSE to be someone's someone. alright.

this has been brought to you by a7mad's sister.

2 comments | leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 26 June :: 6.34pm

I am The Lovers
The Lovers often refers to a relationship that is based on deep love - the strongest force of all. The relationship may not be sexual, although it often is or could be. More generally, the Lovers can represent the attractive force that draws any two entities together in a relationship - whether people, ideas, events, movements or groups.
For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com
What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.
Month: Day: Year:

leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 26 June :: 4.55pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: the chords andy played, recorded and sent me an age ago

sweet tooth
wake up from a dream
then you fall asleep
wish that i could be
there forever

nudity is free
everyone's a queen
anyone can be
king forever

maybe in the next life
dreams like this come true
maybe in the next life
we'll have something to do

bubble candy dream
sugar chewy sweets
caught between my teeth
sounds like heaven

everyone can see
sticky naked me
dancing happy free
in my heaven

maybe in the next life
dreams like this come true
maybe in the next life
we'll have something to do

we'll slide down a lollipop
and climp to the cotton candy top
fly to the moon on bubble gum
where no cavity can come

rock candy beaches and soda shores
there's no excuse to ask for more
then dance naked in fruit punch rain
and do it all over again

dark night chocolate gleam
on the juicy stream
in my candy dream
so beautiful

have you ever seen
tasted something sweet
wonderful to eat
it's beautiful

maybe in the next life
dreams like this come true
maybe in the next life
we'll have something to do

we'll slide down a lollipop
and climp to the cotton candy top
fly to the moon on bubble gum
where no cavity can come

rock candy beaches and soda shores
there's no excuse to ask for more
then dance naked in fruit punch rain
and do it all over again

2 comments | leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 26 June :: 3.08pm
:: Mood: flirtatious
:: Music: deftones - one weak

ahhh, i met a girl recently...
ok so i'm in virgin with barney and we're looking at guitars and there's this really cute guy standing there with awesome hair (ponytail) and apparently he goes there so much, the guy lets him handle the customers and i go "do you only have accoustics here?" and he's all "no we have SPANISH (moan) and he picks one up, tunes it, then starts playing. REALLY playing. smells like teen spirit. hotel california. and then he starts laughing and goes "it's bad tuning, i'm bad at tuning" so i go "you play?" and hes' "yes, 2 or 3 years" and i go "oooooh" (totally hitting on him, this is the part where i lean forward cross my arms and give him a look down my shirt) so we start talking, barney tries hitting on him, but i kinda kill that. anyhow he asks me what kinda music i'm into, and apparently he hasn't been out since the 80s, he didnt even know the foo fighters! so yeah, we start telling him all about this and that, and he goes "do you play?" and i'm *giggle* "just a beginner" and he goes you should get this dvd, it's 2.5KD and it teaches you how to read tabs and all the major and minor chords, i bought it when i first learned." then he goes"i actually bought a copy i can give you mine and i gush "oh i couldn't" and he's like "i've never met a girl that wants to learn guitar before. i could teach you" (he went to BSK and he just graduated, that's why he's so clueless and shy) and i go "really? how much would you charge?" and he goes "oh for free. i love playing guitar, but i usually play alone. there aren't any bands in kuwait." and i go "oh no way! there's a LOT of bands in kuwait, and one of them is looking for a soloist, i could get their number for you." and he's all "wow, thank you." things things things.

i have his number
he has mine
he will give free lessons
he's really shy and really cute (as in i wanna pinch your cheeks)
his name's mahmoud
he's syrian

oh before i left he was like "i'm so sorry!" he puts his head on that glass thing "i forgot your name" so i lean on the counter and go "if it's easier for you, call me jo"
then i saunter out the store

the end

leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 26 June :: 5.30am

a prayer for laurence's mother.

2 comments | leave a comment

moana

:: 2004 26 June :: 4.44am
:: Music: radiohead - the gloaming

it is now the witching hour
right. i guess these past couple of days have been pretty dull. that's probably why i haven't updated much. good news, i've stopped eating. i'm past stage 2. bad news, i popped 3 of my knuckles and i couldn't quite pop them back into place and now they look kinda weird. i'm not so angry anymore. moving on from this topic (i swear i'm not usually so.... this), i went to my dad's place yesterday. let me tell you all about THAT.

ok, so i go up to him (and please imagine all of this in kuwaiti please) and i stit down next to him and say, "baba, i'm taking the entrance exam for Kuwait University sometime in the next couple of weeks." and he goes "good. because you're not going anywhere else." and i said "i thought maybe you n i could go together, you could take me there." and he reads his paper and goes "ok. call me." and after a momentary pause i go "baba, you taught me to have more than one option. i remember you always told a7mad (my big brother for those that don't know) to have more than one option. well my first option is KU, but my chances of getting in with my GPA are 22%." he stops, puts down his paper and looks at me. "why? you're a smart girl. what's your GPA?" "3.42 and it's not just that. even if i had a 4.0, my chances of getting into KU would be 25%." "why"
"it's just the way KU works." silence... "baba i've already been acccepted in two other universities. i've been accepted into University of Denver and American University of Dubai." "why did you apply to them without telling me?" "i didn't, college board sent them my SAT scores and then they asked the school for my transcript." "SAT?" "it's this universal thing that most universities ask for. it's just math and english." "you love them both" "yes i do" what'd you get?" "1250 out of 1600" "that doesn't sound good." "yeah it's very good. i only know 3 other people that got higher than me. 1280, 1290, 1310." "oh. well then that's really very good." "i still want to go to KU, but i want to have other options too. in case i don't get accepted, i want to make sure i have other choices. i can't go to a private university, we don't have the money and neither do you. if i can't get into KU, i may have to leave for a university education." silence. "it would be really hard on you to live in a faraway land. inshallah you'll get accepted into KU, we'll use wastas if we have to." "inshallah. but baba, i had to switch majors 3 times to go into KU" "oh?" "yes. my first choice was the army but they don't let women in. my second choice was genetic engineering but we don't have that major here, we only give scholarships for it. my third choice was piloting, but they don't give scholarships for that or teach it here, we have to pay for it with our own money." "si what are you taking now?" "engineering of some sort." "you should take mechanical engineering, or electrical engineering" "whatever you say, baba." "i only want what's best for you." "i know. baba, i got a lot of mail from some pretty good universities." "bring it over next time." "inshallah." "now go help your aunt (stepmom) prepare lunch."

PARTY! I'M LEAVING THIS SHITHOLE!

1 comment | leave a comment