babaloo181
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2005 10 May :: 4.13pm
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: the sound of some spanish soap opera in my mom's room
DONE WITH AP'S BABY WOOT!
well that's it... today i finished my last AP exam.. they're over and done with woot! ... i'm gonna kill humphreys.. she didnt' prepare us for psych at all! everything i knew i learned this morning at barnes and noble 2 hours before the exam.. that lady deserves to be shot.. if she doesn't get fired im gonna talk to mrs. shrier cuz wtf.. the ib program is known fori ts awesome teachers and rigorous courses.. that lady should not be teaching at this school .. she's dumb.. i bet the traditional teacher taught ten times better than she did .. w/e... overall, i think i did ok on all of my exams .. i'm shooting for a 4 or a 5 in english, a 5 in spanish, a 3 in us history, and a 3 in psych... i'll be pleased with that.. and i dont think it's too farfetched...
ap's may be over but that just means.. im on to the next obstacle... ib orals... agh... mine is next monday .. and that weekend colin's gonna be in town .. which means i'm gonna have like 0 time to prepare with work and colin and all ... im worried.. knowing me .. i wont prepare like i need to...
and then after that's over and done with all i kinda have to worry about is exams.... i say kinda cuz i've left my easiest exams for the end of the year.. oh shit! that reminds me .. CAS forms r due by the 13th cuz that's when the exemption forms r due and i need to document my hours so i can get exemptions.. ahh.. i'll do that tomorrow... i have so much make up work to get done .. a chem test.. 2 chem quizzes... agh... chem sucks... and i have a math test friday on material i learned 2 years ago .. so i dont member shit.. stupid trig! all i keep telling myself is only 3 more weeks and this shit is over! ... in like 2 weeks i go to cali! WHOOOO! this'll be my first time leaving the state.. legally haha.. im excited.. i really hope i get into this program ... if i wont im seriously gonna like cry... but im keepin my hopes up and remaining optimistic... ok well on that note i'll leave u guys to w/e u were doing before reading this crappo ... SCHOOL'S ALMOST OVER WHOOO! hehe ok now im done. bye.
tonite's song: you and me by lifehouse .. i want that cd :(
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babaloo181
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2005 25 April :: 4.09pm
:: Mood: eh..
:: Music: midnight highway - daphne loves derby
crap, crap, and more crap
It's only been about a day .. and i already miss you.
*sigh*.. and the 6 week countdown begins..
Anyways, so today i asked my mom .. hey when r we booking the flight for the quest interview.... her response? oh i dunno it's too expensive... WTF!!! i just spent like hours and hours of my time filling out an application that i am sooooooooooo proud of .. to a program at STANFORD that is absolutely fucking free of cost.. and ur not even willing to pitch in maybe half of the plane ticket? wtf is ur problem? ... i want this so bad... and i mean it's not like im just gonna sit back and let her pay for it .. im already saving.. i've got a bout 50 bucks.. im doing all i can... i just dont get it .. i mean this program is about as good as it gets... if she says no.. fuck it.. im booking the flight anyways.. when i get into an ivy league school come this time next year.. she'll thank me. and if she doesnt? ... well shove it. hehe .. w/e .. im just trying not to worry bout this shit rite now.
On to brighter news, so my procrastination has reached astounding levels in the past couple of weeks... rite now for instance.. i've got a million assignments.. all due weeks ago.. that i should be getting done.. do i care? not particularly... can't say that i do..
Watching couples together makes me wanna puke.. especially after colin just left.. i swear .. today in the lunch line... i nearly cried.. call it envy.. call it wat u want... w/e it is ... it hurts.
I accidentally called chris "colin" last nite at work ... it coulda been worse i guess... we were talkin and he said something gross .. and i almost yelled out "BABY!" in the way i normally yell at colin.. haha .. i managed to stop myself.. and yelled out colin instead... awkward moments r the best rn't they? :) .. yep gotta love em
So ap's r coming up .. lookin forward to those... as soon as this year's over.. everyone's invited to a party i'll be throwing.. certainly not in my house.. maybe in my car.. yes party in thaimi's car.. ur all invited.. all .. like.. 2 of u. hehe. Speaking of things coming to an end... seniors leave in about 3 days ... 3 days and i never have to see her again.. u have no fucking idea how happy that makes me .. im so happy i could cry hehe ... but w/e .. after that .. i hope she burns in hell ...
anyways .. i should get going... nite nite everyone :D
tonite's song: reader's choice ... *which is code for .. im too lazy to come up wit a song i like rite now hehe*
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babaloo181
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2005 18 April :: 5.22pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: same as tonite's song
some things im realizing are wrong with me...
1. Im starting to think that i have an unhealthy obsession with college and my future... i dunno ... but like i feel as if im leaving a lot of ppl behind ... i dont have much time for colin... i feel really bad about that... i guess i just wish i knew how to balance it all...
2. I'm a fucking hypocrite... i get mad at ppl for doing one thing when.. not too long ago i did the same thing myself... i bitch bout ppl who do certain things .. when... in reality .. i do those things myself... i really wish i weren't so fucking hypocritical..
3. I'm really fucking resentful... i can't forgive... that in itself .. is a terrible characteristic to possess..
4. I can't make myself focus... i'm really starting to think i may have add... haha ... i mean either that or im just quite possibly the laziest person alive.. despite my strong feelings against taking medicine for problems that u can fix on ur own.. i kinda wish there was something i could take that would make me wanna sit down and get some work done. but eh.. who am i kidding?
so anyways .. i guess this entry is just my response to a conversation i had with colin the other nite... other than that not much else to say
latin competition rocked... too many jokes to write down... karen, kiren, and hailey all kick so much ass... i made such awesome friends.
so yea.. the end... and as cesar would say.. "enjoy" hehe
tonite's song: so much by spill canvas
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jus4fun06
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2005 15 April :: 9.34am
i can only feel him drifting away. i hope its not my imagination. maybe it is only paranoia getting the best of me. its only changed in the past two weeks. one week:: it was good... many phonecalls || barely talk... not even when we do call eachother :: next week. i cant understand what happened between us. is it something i did?
1 Crushed ME |
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babaloo181
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2005 10 April :: 8.19pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: same as song
.. aww i love this song :)
Lonely
by Akon
Lonely im Mr. Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
Im so Lonely, im Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
for my owwnnn
Im so Lonely,
Yo, this one here goes out to all my playas out there man.
ya kno that got that one good girl dog thats always been
there man like took all the bullshit then one day she cant
take it no more and decides to leave
yeah, I woke up in the middle of the night,
And I noticed my girl wasn't by my side,
Coulda sworn I was dreamin,
For her I was feinin,
So I had ta take a little ride,
Back tracking on these few years,
Tryin to figure out wat I do to make it go bad,
Cuz ever since my girl left me,
My whole life came crashin and I'm so....
Lonely (so lonely),
Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own girl).
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own girl).
I'm so lonely
Cant belive I had a girl like you,
and I just let you walk right outta my life,
after all I put u thru
u still stuck around and stayed by my side (by my side)
what really hurt me is I broke ur heart,
baby you a good girl and I had no right,
I really wanna make things right,
cuz without u in my life girl
im so..
Lonely (so lonely)
Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own girl).
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own baby).
Im so lonely
Been all about the world ain't,
neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through.
Never thought the day would come,
where you would get up and run,
and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be,
aint no one in the globe id rather see
then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
Lonely (so lonely)
Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own, no).
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own girl).
I'm so Lonely
Never thought that id be alone (be alone)
I didnt hope you'd be gone this long (gone this long)
I jus want u to call my phone,
so stop playing girl and Come on home (come on home),
baby girl I didn't mean to shout, (no)
I want me and you to work it out, (work it out baby)
I never wished that Id ever Hurt my baby,
and its drivin me crazy cuz I'm so...
Lonely (so lonely)
Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody, nobody)
To call my own (to call my own, no).
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
For my own (to call my own girl)
I'm so Lonely
So lonely(lonely)
So lonely (so lonely)
Mr. Lonely(lonely)
So lonely (so lonely)
So lonely (Lonely)
So lonely!!! (so lonely!!!)
So Lonely
Mr. Lonely
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jus4fun06
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2005 9 April :: 12.54pm
i was paging through someones xanga... to past entries. i read so much. i was sitting here, crying for living the memories of someone else. is it really so wrong to actually care so much to take away the marks that those memories made on this person. i feel so alone in this feeling. and since i got this feeling i have been so sad for i cant make their pain go away. it makes me so sad not to be able to make either one happy. they are the two closest people to me. sometimes i feel as if i care too much about them. i really dont know how to deal with this. since i felt this, i feel the person is only drifting farther away from me. are they? maybe the stress of the paranoia is making me think they are drifting farther away than they actually are... then i talk to them or i see them and life seems happy and we have a good time... then they leave and we may talk on the phone, but it seems they are bored of me and want me to leave and stop talking. ionoionoionoionoiono.
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babaloo181
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2005 3 April :: 10.54pm
haha
hey that's not true! im a great cuddler! :P hehe
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babaloo181
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2005 3 April :: 2.06pm
:: Mood: missin my baby
:: Music: mr. lonely -- akon :) hehe
"HAHA, PEE PEE!"-- colin
written on the back of a stick on tattoo :
"to remove simply peel off skin"
HAHA that 's the most fucking morbid thing i've heard all day ... me and colin laughed for a while hehe ...
today was fun... me and colin went to chuck e. cheese... we were the first ones there haha ... there was nothing open.. believe me ... we tried it all! ... but yea it was so nice just to spend time wit him.. last nite was nice too.. he went ot the french banquet wit me .. my dress was really cute.. i got it at body shop :D ... hehe aww me and colin matched! my dress was black wit pink trim... and he wore black pants wit a pink dress shirt.. he looked so cute.. i took pics.. i'll post all my pics when i get em developed .. the only scary ass thing bout last nite? ... we went to this library parking lot just like we always do cuz there's never anyone there and we just like to cuddle in privacy hehe ... but yea a cop pulled over and was like wtf r u doing get out of here... we were shitting our pants.. i mean we weren't doing anything bad but still he scared us haha ...colin leaves today :( ... but he'll be here .. in the latest.. in 3 weeks from now.. maybe even sooner.. haha he came to school and everyoen was like wow .. ur bf is hot .. i was like yea i know haha .. aww u guys shoulda seen him last nite .. all dressed up ... he's so handsome :) yummo hehe .. alritey well i gtg to work so i'll be back laterz... nite nite.
tonite's song: superman by goldfinger
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jus4fun06
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2005 29 March :: 8.57pm
hmm i hate how i have a big mouth. i found out some gossip and i couldnt help but tell a few people when probably someone heard from me telling someone and it went all around and now that person has to denounce what i was telling everyone was true. the thing is... the person who told me would never lie... he has no reason to. so iono. i feel a lil bit bad about saying it cause i know i wouldnt like it... but the other thing is i dont really care what they think or say.
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jus4fun06
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2005 24 March :: 8.15pm
when i woke up, the sun was shining and i was happy. as the sun disappeared and the clouds began to cover... i felt loneliness sink in. i took a shower in the dark. i like taking showers in the dark. maybe its to match the loneliness i feel right now... the sadness. the water was so hott. it felt like it was peircing my skin. it hurt, but i liked the hurt. i miss feeling hurt. pain feels so good. i weighed myself. 121.5 i felt thin today and that was a plus. i was so hungry from track that i ate too much and now i feel so full. so full and fat. work tom. yay.
tonight the moon is full. do you think its telling me something.
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