phil-himself
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2011 14 December :: 10.09pm
I know who I am, you're the dude who don't know what dude he is
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rayray
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2011 11 December :: 10.16pm
I need to vent, while my child is screaming it out by herself.
At my house, its not considered "cry it out".. It's screaming it out, or being murdered. She has a set of lungs, and doesn't let up. Like at all. Ever. She doesn't know how to self soothe. She screams bloody murder, and would go on for HOURS and probably days if I let her. She is stubborn. I'm scared she's going to choke on all the saliva/snot she makes from all the screaming, or when she gets to the point where she throws up. Luckily, she always seems to throw up on the floor and not in her bed or all over herself.
From January to November, once she was asleep at night, she wouldn't wake up til about 8ish.. Once in awhile it would be a little early, and then it started getting later.. And I had her going to sleep in her own bed, on her own. Since the time change/her first birthday, she was waking up between 6 and 7.. Once I got her to sleep til 8 or later, she has been waking up a million times during the night. When she is in her crib, awake, she screams bloody murder like she is being attacked. She could be dead asleep, and the second she touches the mattress in her bed, she is screaming so bad, her body stiffens right out.
I can't seem to win. And now Mike is on 3rd shift, so I have to get her to sleep before he goes to work, otherwise it'll be 10 times harder to get her to go to sleep..
So far, she has been screaming for 12 minutes, and Tyson keeps whining and barking like he needs to go protect her.
I feel like a bad mom for complaining about my child, but I miss sleep. Good sleep, where I don't wake up a million times, or in pain from having to make room for everyone else and sleeping all funky.
22 minutes later, she is still screaming, but not nearly like she was.. And a half an hour ago, she was passed out in my bed and had been sleeping since 9..
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phil-himself
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2011 2 December :: 11.36am
Sometimes I like to sport a hearty rager and try to get people to look at it.
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phil-himself
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2011 23 November :: 11.35am
I may retire from this site.
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phil-himself
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2011 22 November :: 10.48pm
Meanwhile at DSI, things are ok.
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phil-himself
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2011 21 November :: 4.07pm
Passive Restraints
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allyson
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2011 14 November :: 10.03pm
I forgot to write yesterday. Jared was home and we stayed up and played gears 3, and then I was exhausted and fell asleep.
We didn't do much yesterday. I went to Meijer with Autumn. First time in a while that I've been to the store (2nd time to meijer since august). I need to go to fields fabrics to get some material for a tag blanket and a matching baby blanket for a gift. I don't remember what else we did.. Oh, we had culver's for lunch and Autumn went with Jared to go and get it. That's about it. Callie's been sleeping like crap lately. waking and crying often. It's tiring. I hope she gets over it soon. I think I'm going to have to start waking up at 8 am all the time. Because callie wakes up at 8 am on the dot every morning. No matter what. Oh well. I guess I'll have to make myself be a morning person.
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allyson
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2011 14 November :: 9.39pm
Baby why you wanna cry?
You really oughta know that I
Just have to walk away sometimes
We're gonna do what lovers do
We're gonna have a fight or two
But I ain't ever changing my mind
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
I wouldn't last a single day
I'd probably just fade away
Without you I'd lose my mind
Before you ever came along
I was living life all wrong
The smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman, come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
Like crazy, girl
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like
Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?
I wouldn't dream of going nowhere
Silly woman come here let me hold you
Have I told you lately I love you like crazy, girl?
Like crazy
Crazy girl
Like crazy
Crazy girl
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allyson
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2011 12 November :: 11.12pm
I decided yesterday that I was going to start writing in here everyday. Just to keep a journal and record of even the most boring things I do.
Today started out with callie waking up at around 730.norther jared out I was ready to get out of bed so we put her in bed with us and she confined to talk to her self quietly while I laid next her her with eyes closed for 15 more minutes. I finally got up and brought her downstairs. Gave her some milk and changed her while we waited for sister to wake up.autumn of course wanted mama cereal and the baby had an egg and some sweet potato puffs. Daddy wakes up at around 930. He goes to the store and takes callie with him. They pick up pictures at walmart and go to meijer. while they are gone autumn and I do some glitter crafts and play out side.it was so nice out today.sunny and warm...especially in the sun. We had lunch and then just putted around while jared put up the new and kitchen light. By that time it was almost dinner time. So I heated the oven and baked some chicken and potatoes and autumn and I made some chocolate chip cookies too. Speaking of...I'm hungry.... I'm going to go eat...
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allyson
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2011 10 November :: 11.55pm
My whole life there has only been one thing Ive known I have always wanted. To feel beautiful. And still to this day I have yet to feel that way.
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phil-himself
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2011 9 November :: 6.27pm
I think I lost my fuckin headache.
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moomoo
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2011 5 November :: 9.27am
Dear Woohu, BOYS FUCKING SUCK! I guess some things wiill never change no matter how old you get.
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phil-himself
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2011 3 November :: 8.21am
in the now
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phil-himself
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2011 28 October :: 11.30am
yeah you're life's hard, tough shit, there's 7 billion people in this world and you think your issues are tough
first world problems
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allyson
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2011 27 October :: 12.07am
Wow it's been long. I have a few posts about Callie Mae... but I just wrote them.. like with a paper and pencil! OMG! haha Anyways. She's a whole year old. I've missed... a lot lately. I've been so sick. No one understands how I feel. But I thought of it today. Imagine have the flu, yes the diarrhea upset stomach achey tired flu... for 9 weeks straight. That's how I felt and still feel. It's very hard for me to do anything without having to run to the bathroom. Recently I've had an upset stomach that comes and goes and has made me lose my appetite. So much that.. I'm down to 89 lbs. I'm 5'4 and 89 lbs.. I look.. horrible. I feel horrible. I feel like a horrible parent. I can't do things with my kids. I missed autumn's first day of school, I haven't been able to go for walks all summer or go to the park, Autumn's halloween party is tomorrow, as well as dr appointment and "family" pictures that I won't be attending are friday, I did however make it through autumn's birthday and Callie's without too many episodes. I didn't feel good.. but I made it through. Callie has started walking from the couch to the table and to the wall willingly... but won't walk any further even though she can. (she walked 22+ steps the other night). She still have beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes... she loves her sister and her daddy.. and even me too!
Ugh, I can't believe I missed so much. I just have to take each day.. one step at a time. I can't believe I've been sick so long.. with no answers. Hopefully soon.
Prayers are needed.
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