*~Sacred Obsessions~*

:: 2004 24 February :: 9.53am
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: too many ppl in the library

thinking things i shouldnt be thinking. somethings tend to consume me and wont leave me alone

4 mug of juices | pimp juice?

:: 2004 23 February :: 9.32pm
:: Mood: wishful
:: Music: saves the day-cars and calories

if you look really closely you can see venus out tonight right next to the moon. it makes me really happy

:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05pm

Im going to make my journal friends only, so if you cant see it log in then you can see what i have updated, if you really WANNA BE A FRIEND and your not on my friends list the im me or somthing and tell me, K :)......

:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05pm

:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05pm

runningaway

:: 2004 23 February :: 10.41am
:: Mood: okay.
:: Music: jordan laughing about ninjas.

woot woot.
well, like i said before friday night and saturday was amazing. i love those guys.

saturday i went home w/ lenny and then went to the movies. we ate some salad and ran into annie flector and soshi. i got to spend time w/ my adam. yay. :)

then i went to walmart w/ my mom. i was sleepwalking. i was so damn tired. she asked me many times if i was on drugs.
me and lenny were acting so crazy at the movies cause we were so tired. it was great.

so, i went home and slept.

then i woke up sunday morning and my mom and i started to fight. had to have been one of the worse ones lately. we were screaming profanities at each other and slamming things around. and of course it ended in tears. so, now im a "fucking selfish bitch."

then, my mom felt bad and she took me shopping. yeah...i got some new things but it definitely did not solve things w/ my mom. just too different. just another life battle.

all my love.
xoxo.

:: 2004 21 February :: 10.36pm
:: Mood: dead
:: Music: the prom- the city gets lonely

i do nothing for attention
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.

In my nightmare I feel so alive
In my dreamscape escapades
I make the grade I save the
day

:: 2004 21 February :: 4.50pm
:: Mood: drained

there are things that people dont understand about others. there is nothing wrong with that. no one was made to understand everything. we tend to pass judgement too quickly when we dont truly know the situation of the other person, i am guitly of this too, im not saying im not. some people cant help things that happen, they cant control what they do. some people are sick, some think they are, some arent. we dont know who is what or who isnt, theres no way to tell. people, inculding myself, need patience to understand things. there are some things in this world we can't fix, we cant handle. everyone is different.

you are my savior, i would have been gone so many times without you. you have no idea how much you mean to me, that you save me everyday. i dont know who i would be, if i would be, without you.

runningaway

:: 2004 21 February :: 12.20pm
:: Mood: chipper.
:: Music: my adam on the telly.

lunch...melons go first.
so...yesterday at school was pretty lame...but thats nothing new...

but then i went to the mall w/ lenny and michelle. we had good times there.

then...i went to mo mou's house to party. mo mou, danison, anna b, lenny, ernie, maria, and kaytee came to play.
we ate lots and lots, and danced, and talked. it was fun.
we got yelled at by some mean old lady and her dog cause we were sitting in a drive way. we were "trespassing." she said that she was going to call the cops and all that junk. lou lost her shoe! but we went back to get it later. it was saved.

we snuck out too. it was so great. i love crawling out of windows. i met steven and colt. they were pretty cool.

six of us all slept in the same bed. it was crazy. we fell asleep by 5:00 and woke up around 9:30. it was good times.
i love mo mou's family. it makes me so happy.

i love ernie. i love you, dearest.

i also love all the boys. you keep my spirits high. i dont even need drugs. woot. ;)

movies tonight. go...it will be good times.

tinkie winkie.
xoxo.
:)

7 mug of juices | pimp juice?

runningaway

:: 2004 20 February :: 11.36am
:: Mood: annoyed.
:: Music: library noises.

blah blah.
i just got a mother fucking referral.

i just needed to vent.

yay. to mo mou's house after school!

so, yesterday was fun. went to the mall w/ codes. good times.

adam went to a club last night.

sometimes i dont understand things. just dont make sense. but thats life.

xoxo.

:: 2004 20 February :: 9.46am
:: Mood: pain

owtchee
im home right now cause i got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday.........i cant even begin to explain the amount of pain that i was in yesterday when i woke up from the surgery.....

they gave me laughing gas at first, that was fun, they wanted to calm me down so i dint know or care what was going on, then they put me to sleep and the only thing i remember is waking up and not even remembering going to sleep at all, and i strted crying when i woke up cause i was in schock and it hurt alot!! that was soo bad!!

im getting ready to eat oatmeal...yippee skippee,

ehh i typed A whole other entry uising one hand because with the other hand i am holding a ice pack up to my face cause it is the size of a football yah and i went to post it and the whole thing got erased so that makes me mad!!! eww i look soo gross. not all the makeup in the world would make me look pretty right now!!:(

i dont no if im going to be spending the night at tylers tonite with ashlie and phil cause it hurts alot, and i feel bad about it cause if i dont spend the night then no one is going to spend the night, cause tyler said that it would be gay with just the three of them :(:(.

i can barely even open my mouth is sux... misty is making jello for me for later, cause thats all i can eat practically..

i slept alot yesterday, like all day after my surgery..im tired of sleeping, but i guess it will make me better, im waiting for ashlie to get online in 4th period so i can talk to her about this weekend...i hope she can at least spend the night saturday night and go to the parade with us...

i taste blood in my mouth.....ew

eww i can feel the stitches in my mouth and i was just informed that they are amde of the lining of a cats gut!! eww yay only a few more minutes untill ashlie will be on

i have to take 3 medications for this, one is a type of steriod and i dont no if thats good cause i dont want to get all big and buff, but phil says its probaly not that kind of steroid. so thats good

ok im gonna o now, and sit....and talk to my best buddy ashlie!!

i love ashlie!!

~stef

1 mug of juice | pimp juice?

:: 2004 19 February :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: deflated
:: Music: no

'why couldn't he have liked us when he was this hot?' -lenny
i hate it so much. jesus christ, i try so hard to do something and i cant i cant do it. this is the first thing that has been really really important to me and i cant do it. im trying i am really. and the last thing i need is for people that have no idea shoving it in my face that i cant do it. god, im so frustrated.

to make the day worse i realized that someone will never see me. they wont ever look at me as a person, much less what i want them to see. danison you are grand and i love that you understand what im talking about, i kiss you.

a shitty end to a shitty day

:: 2004 19 February :: 5.45am
:: Mood: dreamy
:: Music: just guess

Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: dashboard confessionals
Are you female or male:: hey girl
Describe yourself:: ghost of a good thing
How do some people feel about you:: so beautiful ha
How do you feel about yourself:: several ways to die trying
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: bend and not break
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: rapid hopeloss
Describe where you want to be:: screaming infadelities
Describe what you want to be:: am i missing
Describe how you live:: hands down
Describe how you love:: as lovers go
Share a few words of wisdom:: if you cant leave it be, might as well make it bleed

Bands // Song Titles brought to you by BZOINK!

3 mug of juices | pimp juice?

:: 2004 19 February :: 5.29am
:: Mood: wistful
:: Music: dashboard-ghost of a good thing

the OC rocked my socks last night. made me sad too though...as does everything else ha..ha. anyway, i dont have a whole lot to say so i will just go away now.

'we only accept the love we think we deserve'