Jessika
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2003 15 December :: 11.22pm
:: Mood: ouchie eye
Quiz time
your aura is pain
you have been hurt a lot, haven't you? cutting
yourself, pushing everyone away from you- these
are the things you do habitually. you don't
truly believe that anyone could ever love you.
you're a masochist, you're in love with your
sadness. you are so used to your pain that by
now, it has become enjoyable.
what kind of aura do you have
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You are a WATERFALL. You are a person full of
passion and opinions. There are times where you
prefer to be alone and like gather up all the
troubles and thoughts in your mind. You can be
tense at times since so much is usually on your
mind but rest assure that the drums of the
waterfall will soothe you.
What Form Of Water Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are "Sweet T"!! Go you!!
Which Rocky Horror song are you? (Rate me!)
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Because I am just a sweet transvestite....from transexual, Transylvaniaaaaaa!!!!
wow...your one of the better fans ive seen. feel
free to email me @
skittleZGirl64@hotmial.com...i always like to
talk to fellow fans.
are you a big afi fan?
brought to you by Quizilla
I had too. It has a picture. I am finding interesting quizzes tonight.
lie
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Jessika
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2003 15 December :: 5.30pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Buffy!!!!
DAMN PINK EYE!!!!
Welp I came home early again. I got out around 12:30 to go to the litttle people's concert. Got home around 2 with them. I am getting pink eye. FUCK.
I'm going to bed.
lie
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Jessika
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2003 14 December :: 8.49pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: stupid people
smell: YUCK. Cooking eggs.
Damn Chex mix. I made another batch and it is rather addicting. I am done now......and almond roca is yummy. I hate food.
This weekend I got stuff. Went shopping with my mom for 6 hours. 6 fucking hours. My feet hurt. BUT. I gottta pick my presents and the little peoples out. I am happy. I gotta faux fur throw and matching pillow in black. It is awesome. and a pretty barbie(add to collection) and porcelain doll(also to collection) and a Disney princess Belle. Woohooo for my inner child! I want a cotton candy machine like my little person damnit = (
then at the mall with roxanne we got new socks and I got a pin and some chapstick.
I will finish with a quiz.
Last time I took one of these, I was 90s.
lie
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silversoldier
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2003 12 December :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: tired...
:: Music: tv
grr!!
I still haven't gotten cameron's email address... oy...
Anyway... I'm missing morp tonight because I'm going to the SO party.... oh well, I really don't want to be out till eleven anyways, so it works out......
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie
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jessika
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2003 10 December :: 5.21pm
:: Mood: meh
:: Music: Scoooby Dooby DOOOO!
Meh. Formally.
I stayed home tonight. I am regretting it now because my ten days are gone as far as my knowledge goes. But only in 2 classes. In the rest I have 9. But still.
Last night Delphian was awesome at the concert. I could not hear us, but I think we sucked. No clue. At the end on the finale thing I was supposed to sing tenor for 2 parts and I was standing next to Jon Bell. A tenor. He sings VERY VERY high! I was confused and finally just sang what he was. Kind of. Terribly. I kept twitching. And forgetting to breath. Haaaaaaahaaaaaa
6 truthsooth sayers |
lie
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Jessika
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2003 8 December :: 8.07am
:: Mood: I wanna go to bed.
:: Music: Distillers
I think I have a thing...I always update on Monday mornings...
I like the Darkness. They are unique and have fun music.
We do not get a spring break this year and that sucks big time.
I have said it lots and I will repeat: Tim Curry is my god. He has the perfect expressions and I have loved him in every movie I have seen him in.
We have baked so much here lately.
I just heard scarynesses!!!! o_o!!! SCARED!
Always remember kids: There's a light in the darkness of everybody's night.
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie
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Jessika
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2003 6 December :: 1.42pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: Hey you two.....
WHOA.
Last night as my mom was going to take me to Schylar's, I had to wait after I got my stuff. I laid down on the couch kuz the back hurt. Next thing i knew, everybody was in bed and it was like 10. I had only been asleep like hour or so, but then I could not go to Schylar's. Damn...I feel bad....I am going to call her as soon as I can, but the mom needs the net = S. I think I am going Xmas shopping in a few hours.
1 truth |
lie
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Jessika
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2003 5 December :: 7.48pm
:: Mood: distressed
:: Music: And on to the Christmas Stroll I goooo!!!
Woohoo I am the odd one of the group!
you are steelblue
#4682B4 |
Your dominant hues are cyan and blue. You like people and enjoy making friends. You're conservative and like to make sure things make sense before you step into them, especially in relationships. You are curious but respected for your opinions by people who you sometimes wouldn't even suspect.
Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.
Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.
| | the spacefem.com html color quiz |
Um....About that last paragraph.....just replace that with the olive one. I like it more. The rest seems ok I guess.....And this color is very pretty and awesome.
lie
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silversoldier
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2003 4 December :: 9.25pm
:: Mood: less tired
:: Music: some Jay-Z thing
Quiz Result: You are olive
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you are olive
#808000
Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns, you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling".
Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.
Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
the spacefem.com html color quiz
Paste this code to share your results:
you are olive
#808000 |
Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns, you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling".
Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.
Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
| | the spacefem.com html color quiz |
1 truth |
lie
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silversoldier
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2003 4 December :: 12.41am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Band stuff.... argh...
Three faces are staring at me...
I got kicked in gym today... and we were playing basketball... I still don't understand how it could happen, especially since I've got a good sized lump on my leg now...
Ok, so I started writing a poem today, and it might actually turn out quite well... I just need to finish it. :P
I'm really worried because I still haven't made up my Bio test, which I was supposed to take a week ago... oh, I figure I'll get it done sometime...
Wow! Mr. Kellogg is wanting me to play the solo in our Christmas piece... strange... yay, though...
bleh... I really need sleep right now, but I've got to finish English and health work still... :( no fun, no fun...
lie
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Jessika
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2003 3 December :: 9.02pm
:: Mood: crushed
FUCK YOU MOM!!!
K, with that out, I must say there is some mysterious force stopping my happiness. I was VERY happy after watching AFI at the Hard Rock place(excellent), but then the next thing I know, the damn Good Charlotte video was on and I was in tears. DAMN. I will edit and add more later...mom bitching -_-
lie
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silversoldier
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2003 3 December :: 6.31am
:: Mood: very tired...
I'd like most of the stuff in that last entry to keep on the low for a while.... just had to tell someone....
lie
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silversoldier
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2003 2 December :: 9.49pm
:: Mood: tired
honest yes or no?
Wow.... I've just been through much of EmotionDump's archives... I hate looking at other people's emotions and not being able to say anything to them... Andy, you are a torment...
anyways
Stuff seems to be slowing down, and I don't know why, because I have had the hugest amount of crap to do over the past week... Honestly... I'm waiting for both my grandmothers to die right now... not a fun thing to ponder on, but I'm tired of hearing their complaints about all their pain, and they say they've lived all they need to live, so why isn't it over for them? ... not even fun to think. It probably shouldn't matter to me much now... as I can't even decide if there's a God out there to take care of us...
FUCK, I hate... I don't even know anymore... I just know that I'm not being honest to anyone anymore... I'm tired of all my secrets, but it's not like I can just out with them, not like I can just say, hey, I'm Nick, and I've got all these FUCKING PROBLEMS attacking my head right now. Because that's the start of the problem. What's harder to think is that we all are like this... would be better to just drop the load and say, "these are my problems, love me." ... but no, we have to worry that we're too sinful to get into some Heaven that no longer sounds ideal anyways...
I don't even feel good saying that... How do I know what's happening with the God or Gods or Spirit or Nature or Fate of us... And why is it that so many other people *always* know what their God is doing for them. Just smile at the world and watch it pass... everything will be alright if you don't take any offense... Well, then... how is my voice supposed to be heard. It's a fucking exercise in the art of contradiction. There is no path anymore, because to be on one path means doing something in the other, so why don't I just stand here in the meadow and watch the rest of you make the mistakes I couldn't because I have no faith to guide me, to let me stumble and live after flying through the chasm... I don't want to commit suicide... I'd like to find out some answers to the why's in life first. When I know what I need to know... I'll leave. Maybe that's why the grandmas are still here.... But what's left for them to know? Why can't I find it out with them? ... Why is there conciousness, when all we are is a bundle of individual cells... There's got to be some guiding thing with purpose for us all... but what, and why the torment?
Here's a start. I've developed extreme anxiety problems ever since my argument with Schylar last year. My eyes changed green last year, around the same time I started calling myself insane. I can't stand being in crowds of unknown people anymore, because I don't want to be in their way, and I don't want to hurt them. I argue with my parents because I want them to see me as who I am and not what they want to see. I'm looking for the book that will give me the answers... I thought I found it a few times... but maybe it's the collection that matters...
Last thing for tonight:
I've had bisexual tendancies for the majority of my life. I never get close to anyone, because I'm afraid it's the wrong someone... I can't say what love is, and it's a pain and great torment. That's it... that's all I can say today.
1 truth |
lie
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Jessika
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2003 2 December :: 8.02am
:: Mood: cold, paranoid
:: Music: Sum 41 - Fat Lip
Dec 3rd I will be glued to the tv on MTV for half an hour. No church this week. ^_^
Damn Good Charlotte. Damn them all to hell. Their new video makes me cry every time I see it. Damn them. First time I have payed much attention to GC in a while. Grr.
I dont know why, but I woke up EXTREMELY paranoid this morning. I hate paranoia. GO AWAY DAMN YOU!!!!! Whenever I am under blankets I am hot. Whenever I am not I am cold. It sucks.
2 truthsooth sayers |
lie
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Jessika
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2003 1 December :: 6.39pm
:: Mood: apathetic
Well. So much for my happiness. Must it always be such short lived? First off.... I was very hyper and did not have to ride the bus. Then on second(math) I began to doze off. Then I was pretty ok...except for the fact that when I woke up I had a very heavy sadness about me. Dunno what it was. In 6th(debate), I found out that Mickee had committed suicide on Saturday. She shot herself. She was one of the nicest people in that class. That got me REALLY sad. That passed as I watched them debate. Then I got SUPER irritable after that class. I was pissed at everyone. To my luck, we had a sub. A super bitchy one at that. She was the worst I had had the entire year. I was seriously this close(| |) to telling her to fuck off and just leaving. I was fucking shaking with my anger/aggravation. She gave us a 8 page packet to complete. NOTES. Like the ones we get from the overhead. THAT was our assignment. Luckily I forced my irritation to the book and got 6 pages done. Whenever she walked by, I stopped and stared at her with my evilest look. After that was finally over, I was very bitchy as the day ended. People kept running into me. I pushed 2 people kuz they would not move. I am now just apathetic. Except when the little people talk. Then I am a huge bitch.
To top it all off, my little half brother person got to stay home today because he stayed up till midnight with 'dad problems' and he did not want to go to bed. What fucking ever.
Fuck you.
6 truthsooth sayers |
lie
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