woohu..

:: 2007 26 October :: 2.17am
:: Mood: winding down
:: Music: billy hirt - a time for reflection

we could make sweet music together...

i had fun at lindsay's tonight. i feel like there was some good conversation. although, i'm not sure how much of it she'll recall. but that's okay. fun times were had by all.

i want to play again. lately i've had the itch so badly it hurts.

interestingly enough, tonight i didn't have the ache. i had honestly not thought about the ache until katie brought it up as i was walking her home. i didn't know how to respond at first when she said it. i take it as a sign that things are beginning to be right again. at least for us, if nothing else, which is good.

but i still feel like, in spite of that, there's still so much that isn't right for me. but i can't tell what it is or how to fix it.

'til some producer with computers fixes all my shitty tracks.

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spud	:: 2007 25 October :: 2.25am it's cold outside. and now my nipples are tender. i guess that's what i get. maybe tomorrow i'll just go topless. this deodorant smells awful. 5 comment?s \| comment

:: 2007 25 October :: 1.03am

retrospective

"maybe i just don't want a relationship at all. i like being single and flirting with everyone. i don't know... when ever i start to get close to some one it is ok at first and i am all for it and then they start doing things that just freak me out. and then i run away. hmmm.... i need to find someone perfect for me, my personality needs to match their's, i can't be in a relationship where i feel like there is so much that i just can't live up to. why is it so hard for me to meet people i am actually attracted to. this sucks. i feel like i need to have someone, but i just don't want anyone i know. i need to meet someone new. which is hard. i'll try."

at least she's always known what she needs.

i have no idea what i need. or what i want. or what i have.

i'm a menace to society and myself.

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:: 2007 22 October :: 12.34pm
:: Mood: not good

it's funny how quickly things change sometimes.

it's not funny how slowly i adapt to them. because just about the time i get settled in (if at all), it changes again anyway, and i'm just that much less interested in attempting to change for the next time.

funnier yet is how even when i don't feel like trying, i wind up changing anyway. it just seems like it should be more advertent and thought out.

this all adds up to me being listless and worthless, and me feeling all the emotions appropriate to those qualifications.

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viper15

:: 2007 22 October :: 11.50am

hi
hey everyone long time no see, rachel sent me a facebook add to woohu and i was like well i guess i better update. Everythings been well, and i miss you guys from the gang

:: 2007 21 October :: 5.39pm
:: Mood: whelmed
:: Music: Extreme - Cupid's Dead

:: Romance Novel ::

Night is the time for deep conversations.
Staving off sleep for the value of a moment.
The haze tries to convince you to forget by morning.
Subduing it, you rise to face the afternoon, believing yourself a poet.

ears

:: 2007 21 October :: 4.56pm
:: Music: "The diary of Jane" by Breaking Benjamin

Hey.

Just sitting here. Bored. Watching the Nascar race.

Can anybody please tell me how to pictures in the journal background. I forgot how. Thank you.

Not doing much these days but working. All sisters are married now. I'm the only one left unmarried. Hard enough getting a girlfriend let alone thinking about a future marriage. Life is crazy.........but fun.

Hope you all are doing good. Peace out.

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:: 2007 17 October :: 7.24pm

I am getting more and more excited about NaNoWriMo. My 1667 words a day ends up being two and a half pages, single-spaced, in a 12 pt font. Which is less than a paper so I can do it.

Even if it is a paper a day.

Also, I scheduled classes for next semester.

Also, you're adopted. So that's funny.

:: 2007 16 October :: 1.22pm

The cake is a lie
I beat Portal yesterday. It is quite possibly the best game ever with the best ending ever and the best script ever.

Seriously. Ever.

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:: 2007 9 October :: 12.06am

I am very angry and bitchy.

Last theology class tomorrow.

Tired.

:: 2007 7 October :: 5.27am

My brother called me earlier to tell me one of their new cats had died. The little cute one that would just chill on your shoulder.

I thought I was okay after I cried it out once but apparently I'm not. She was not gaining weight and Mom thinks she died of respiratory failure because she had a cold. My sister was at a friend's house and it was homecoming so they didn't tell her. And they haven't told her yet. Mom said she buried the cat, Hero, and will tell her on Sunday when she gets home.

Hannah had a rough time when we had to put McHenry to sleep and she loved this cat so I'll be up in Rockford tomorrow.

:: 2007 6 October :: 2.30pm
:: Mood: weird
:: Music: sad kermit

everything happens for a reason, right? at least, some would like to think so - myself being one of them.

that being said, i'm still trying to divine the full significance of gunnie's bonfire, thursday night's conversation with heather, drunksitting tonight (as opposed to being with katie and lindsay), and the fact that i found a frog in my laundry this morning.

this is all adding up to something monumentally mediocre. i can feel it. i just hope it's me.

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