Rina
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2004 13 May :: 7.01pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: sacrifice
"beyond flesh. beyond perfection."
so. assessments were tuesday. i forgot my sketchbook. but i am not probed!!!! very good.
wednesday. is my favorite day! dont ask why. nothing special really happened.. except for james!!!
"crash bandicoot?"
"it is some sort of task.. you must collect the crystals. and fruit."
you know what im talking about.
OH! yes, i have a new look for the journal. best viewed in 1024 x 768. i could switch it to 800 x 600, but the majority of people dont use that screen resolution, so.. hm.
girls' weekend this weekend. i wont be back till sunday! what!
we are doing pastels in art. yayness. i heart pastels.
4 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 9 May :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: quiet
:: Music: the rasmus
it was hot like a mother today. but i made a huge picture with my shiny new pastels. they are the good chalk kind.
i had colors all over myself. you should have seen my face. there was a large black streak across my forehead and some green on my jawline. and, my hands were completely covered.
i officially hate the css coding for iframes. it is a bitch. why cant they have little site-builders with an iframes option? i mean honestly. i used to like designing crap in html, but this is hell on wheels. not literally. but it would be fun to see if you think about it.
which, oh my god, brings me to something going on in my head. when someone says 'hell froze over' i used to think of a large ice-skating rink. so naturally, i thought of ice skating or hot cocoa. oooohh dear how things change.
i now think of a large ice skating rink filled with millions of ms. freis'. so, (here is the hilarity bit) the term 'hell freezing over' could be thought of as 'hell freising over'.
get it? freis, freeze..
yes, i know its lame but you have to admit.. when youre tired and you dont want to think of anything, its pretty damn funny. especially if you know what she looks like.
want to completely baffle me? try and explain the linear progression of time, and how any unravelled part of it can cause objects to become unparadox. or impossible, if you wish.
i feel like a blank book sometimes. you could call me a canvas.
color me curious.
4 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 6 May :: 7.46pm
:: Mood: HYPER.
:: Music: yellowcard
wee.
i feel like i want to be pushed down a hill in a shopping cart. really really fast.
that would be so much fun. weee.
i feel unnaturally hyper. and slighty drunk, im not sure.
1 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 6 May :: 2.45pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: the living end
the first lesson is always the hardest
ohmygod. your tie is so hot.
cnlakivohabanm;sliyhehg.
i want you.
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 3 May :: 9.09pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: spitting games - snow patrol
guilt is the ash at the back of your throat
i love homemade chocolate chip cookies.
i know boredom very well. we are friends now. but luckily, when he becomes unbearable i find ways to amuse myself. so today i made a squirrel. out of gum wrappers. it was so ridiculously awesome you will not believe.
i should write a book. To Boredom and Back: Ways to Amuse Yourself Along the Way. I would be famous. and i could show little picture-diagrams on how to make things out of gum wrappers.
you would buy it.
6 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 26 April :: 3.00pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: other computers
my journey seems to end at your doorstep
today was agonizingly slow.
i was eagerly anticipating the end of the day when i woke up this morning.
i felt very shy. like a little girl keeping a secret. ana said i looked small and cute. and i started to wonder what other people might think of me. i am a very curious person.
i didnt talk very much. i was kind of hoping that if i stared at my watch enough the day might go faster. or if i didnt talk to anyone, the day wouldnt slow down any more than it had already.
it didnt work.
now i am at my mother's office. this place is so bland i can hardly stand it. it screams that it needs more than white covering its walls. it feels like some sort of penitentary. but each time i come here it doesnt seem as bad. i hope that doesnt mean im accepting that it wont change. i hate being forced to accept things. thats why im so good at arguing. i can pick fights so easily i scare myself.
yesterday my mother took me and my sister to 'Mamma Mia!' at the barbara b. mann hall. it was a musical. and i have to say, it was alot better than i had expected.
and for those of you who read some of my story, would it be too much to ask for feedback? i dont know if i should continue writing it.
5 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 24 April :: 9.24pm
:: Mood: energetic
:: Music: switchfoot
your eyes sparkle in the moonlight
good saturday night.
went to the movies with my geeker and monkey. and andrew came too. (for those of you who dont know carina lingo: i went with sydney, chelsea, and.. andrew.)
we went to the gap and terrorized it a bit. then we walked to black hawk cafe. i got a mocha latte. with this cool sugar stuff they have. mmm good. i would have to say that it rivals starbucks.
saw ella enchanted. dude. that movie is cute. and from what i've heard, completly different from the book. before the movie started i put a gum wrapper on my shoe. you know how you peel off the foil-y type stuff off the 'extra' gum. you've all done it. well, i put some on my shoe.
after the movie we went to black hawk again. i couldnt resist. i bought another mocha. with the cool sugar stuff. but sydney got one too.
so now i have consumed two mochas within 2 hours. i think wired is a bit of an understatement.
2 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 24 April :: 1.47pm
:: Mood: bleh
:: Music: the reason - hoobastank
and the light that guides is fading
i get glasses on monday.
this weekend is going to be lame. i have two projects to do. joy, oh joy.
and teenage drama is living in my house. sound the alarm.
i miss having places to go. friends to see. non-stop talking on the phone. school is taking over my life. im going to beat it back with some sticks pretty soon.
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 21 April :: 10.15pm
:: Mood: hyper//ecstatic
HOLY FREAKING MOTHER OF COWS.
i heart the WB. you have no idea.
3 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 21 April :: 2.52pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: brand new colony
run away for this place is no longer stable
i am so tired. of everything.
i am tired of tying on little bells to my feet and dancing for everyone. they expect me to be so happy all the time. its just way too hard for me right now.
besides that, im sure everyone already knows that i am getting glasses. and that they are rectangular. no, they are not "emo" glasses. and you can keep your stereotyping to yourself. i know it can be hard though.
i had my prism concert yesterday. no big. i played when they told me to. that was the extent of my excitement.
off to do schoolwork.
4 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 18 April :: 11.58am
:: Mood: sick :/
:: Music: the postal service
lets stay forever in a star-wrapped imagination
and im looking through the glass where the
light bends at the cracks and i'm screaming
at the top of my lungs pretending the echoes
belong to someone i used to know
and we become silhouettes when our bodies
finally go
4 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 13 April :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: in the shadows - the rasmus
cobwebs of silence echo through my ears
so here is my easter, and the joys of easter-ness. feel the burn, santa.
i got a gift certificate for a cd and chocolate. i also now share the brother bear dvd with my sister and brother.
went over to aunt sue's house. sue is cool. we talked. i ate food, and my grandmother gave me one of those big bags of m&m's. yum. it couldve gone better, i know. but hey. at least my cousin wasnt stoned.
as most of southwest florida knows: angry rain sucks.
i had no power this morning. well, i did. but you see, it flickered on and off like a hyperactive six-year-old with a lightswitch obsession. and you know that can never end well. so my power went completely out and had to do almost everything in candle light. oh. joy.
my computer is fried. im updating on my mom's. but, im pretty sure i cant fill you in on much more because she is having a fit that i take too long online.
anyways, here is a poem i wrote. feel free to point your fingers and laugh.
"Alone with myself"
Soft jasmine fills the night air
the ivory scent a sweet pleasure
as i walk into the drizzling horizon
the tiptoes of cold dancing on my face
alone with the stars as they wink and fade;
alone with myself
Dew-covered grasses cold from the night
the feel of emerald between my toes
i make my way through deepening rain
the embrace of chill skies a rose in my cheeks
alone with flowers soaking in life;
alone with myself
Small whispers and secrets seep into thoughts
a smooth flow of music given by clouds
stepping in the symphony of ebony and pearl
the caress of sounds soothing rogue dreams
alone with the wishes of thunder and fog;
alone with myself.
9 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 11 April :: 12.08am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: spitting games - snow patrol
run through the constellations in a breeze of loneliness
i thought i should update. so here am i, look at me update.
happy easter, everyone :)
i went to old navy with sydney yesterday. we got the most awesome bags. they say 'rock & london roll.' how sweet is that??
erg. i dont want to be here. i hate doing nothing. and then knowing that i should be doing something.
one of these days, i will write a long entry. it will have poems and stories and jokes and you will enjoy it very much. i kid you not.
5 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 8 April :: 11.15pm
:: Mood: geeky
:: Music: this is who you are - beautiful mistake
when you wake in a world of darkness and mystery, remember me along the way
oh man. hey you know that math test that i christmas-tree'd? 55% BABY! all guess, and i almost passed. how much does that fucking rock!
ana, you are too cool.
me and sydney are british geeks!! dont hate. we are going to be the coolest children in london!
my dad's friend tim came down from pennsylvania. he brought his wife and two daughters. (alliy and beverly). we went to the bistro 41. then we went to brookstones. then we went to black hawk cafe and i got a mocha. mmmm boy. i didnt talk that much. it was kinda boring, really. alliy is sixteen and beverly is in college i think.
i think im still a bit wired from that coffee.
8 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 5 April :: 7.50pm
:: Mood: sigh..
watch me fall into stories and pages with a flourish
hm.
i am a geek.
[GEEKER JOY! haha andrea]
moving on. biology is haunting me now. i need to start cracking on that studying.
here is something to do. when you go to a movie premeire, dress up as a frankfurter and look around terribly confused.
6 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 3 April :: 6.38pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: sic transit gloria - brand new
softly spoken words ring in my ears
yesterday was dumb.
i had a math test. i completly forgot about it. i christmas-tree'd it all the way. i am so failing that one.
people are already studying for the ap bio exam. i guess i should get cracking too. i'll need serious study time.
i have to read romeo and juliet this weekend. and study for a test in english about different poetry stylings, and the first act. joy.
tonight is prom. my sister is going with her friends. julie is sleeping over.
i hate the fucking kids on my street. they were beating up my brother. they were kicking and punching him while he was on the ground. i will kick every one of their asses and bash their heads together. they need to be severely punished. by me, if no one else will. now, my brother is on his way to the fucking doctor because my parents think his shoulder might have been dislocated. if those kids see me, they better run their fucking legs off.
excuse the amount of profane language.
now, off to do more homework, because teachers seem to think that we enjoy it on the weekends. oh wow. watch me rip my fucking hair out and strangle them.
3 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 31 March :: 3.24pm
:: Mood: my head will implode soon..
:: Music: Miserable
i get lost in the voices of yesterday as they clamor in shrieks and whispers inside my head
we got a white volvo S60 yesterday. its a stick shift. i will have so much fun learning on that sucker.
hmm. i think my head is going to explode. well, i dont know for certain, but it sure does feel that way. its ok though. i'll get over it.
today at school. in a word: headache. all day man. my voice sounds funny. anyways, much homework, so thanks to all my teachers. oh! report cards came in the mail. take a gander:
ceramics/pottery - smith : A-
draw I/draw II - roeder : B+
english hon I - greene : A-
algebra II hon - bode : B
band - daniels & bennett : A+
ap biology - freis : A- BOO-YA!
business systems & tech - lefort : A+
oh yes.
um. here is something to laugh at. i was hurting myself all day. i have a bruise on my arm from a white board. i tripped over a chair. i am a pirate. stubs is a swashbuckler. and a deck-swabber. HA. that is way cool.
i like the song im listening to.
"stuck to a chair, watchin this story about me
everything goes by so fast, makin my head spin
used up all of my friends, who needs them
when you mean everything?"
4 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 30 March :: 10.43am
:: Mood: icky
:: Music: anthem part two - blink 182
lost in a woven idea's thinning rivulets
well, as you can see, i have changed my journal layout yet again.
here is my story for today:
went to school for 2 periods, and then got called down to the attendance office so my mom can take me to my doctor's appointment.
i have an upper respiratorial viral infection. and kinda congested too. i get to take some tylenol and then it will make me all better.
we went to the bagel factory afterwards and i got a chocolate chip bagel.
now i am home for the rest of the day.
ha.
6 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 29 March :: 2.23pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Thursday
sinking slowly into the midnight sky
i felt yucky and sick today.
no school for me.
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 28 March :: 11.36am
:: Mood: rah
:: Music: dangerous - ghost of the robot
fall away in velvet whipers
here we go:
the assembly wasnt about sex. to be honest, i dont know what the hell it was about. the only thing i learned is to not sell strawberries for a living.
i had to babysit connor on friday. woo got thirty bucks.
saturday rolled around. this is the day i get to help out at the center, because there are students trying out for visual arts. oooh man. it was so much fun. hey, did you know that school coffee sucks? i mean, its drinkable, but.. i wouldnt suggest it.
I AM A PIRATE!!!
hahahahahaha lmao good times. dude. me and carolyn saw mark barron. what a little monkey. he is skipping 9th grade. come and help me strangle him.
and holy crap. the senior show is freaking awesome! you should run, jump, and skip yourselves over there.
i went to barnes and noble with chelsea and sydney. i had my frappuchino (yum), sydney had hers, and chelsea got the iced caramel macchiatto. ooo i wouldve gotten that.
bought some books, and then went over to syd's house. ahhhh, sydney's computer is slow, but we waited. all for the sake of james.
if you are not already reading it, then go and buy the da vinci code. it is the best book i have read.
2 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 25 March :: 2.56pm
:: Mood: blaaaaah.
:: Music: life for rent - dido
your words linger in this darkened room like a faded star
wow, do i hate biology or what. i get to describe how the five-kingdom system is connected to all 55 chapters of my biology book. either save me, or put me out of my misery.
oh man. we had an assembly yesterday. it was cool. but depressing. a man with hooks for hands and prosthetic legs was talking to us. i felt bad for him.
tomorrow we have an assembly about sex education. what fun.
sigh.
i think i might change my journal layout again. im trying to find a good background for an icon i made. i'll make a background myself if push comes to shove though. hm.
oh! and i am filled with happiness at ghost of the robot making a new cd. it will be called gods of the radio :) woo.
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 23 March :: 2.52pm
:: Mood: blah.
:: Music: basketcase - green day
forever wandering the winding trail of imagination
i. hate. school.
i was looking at my chicken sandwich today. and i realized how everything is the same. every day. i have the same teachers, the same seats, see the same people, have the same conversations, have the same lunch. even have the same amount of boring, monotonous crap.
i came back to the same place. where everything is like a routine. i walk to my classes the same way ive always done. i get to my classes at the same time. i feel the same feeling of dread.
why cant just one thing change? just the slightest, tiniest little change. maybe i'd look forward to school then.
but sydney wrote me a note. so my day is 3215698793 times more improved.
more essays to do.
2 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 20 March :: 12.46pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: lost prophets
there seem a strange stillness to everything, as the evening wears into night
ok.
i wrote a poem that i really like, so i thought id put it up here.
"garden"
you can find me in a dark and fragrant garden,
where roses grow wild and lavendar sings
where all you can hear is the soft wind
but can feel the humming of another time
i walk upon this beaten path
where flowers wind their way at my feet
and i can feel you with me
like the stars' light
with every sigh of branches and all the bluebells' rings
you are here with me
the breeze whispers your name
like the kiss of a falling leaf
and as i lay into the midnight sky
like the silent breath of fog
i can taste your presence
with all my being i walk in you
my feet grazing the dew covered grass
and my footprints forever imprinting your heart.
alright. lets move on to some more interesting things...
im going to lissa's house today. (;
i still have a bunch of homework to finish though. so when i get back to school i will be majorly screwed. ha. ha.
3 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 17 March :: 10.04pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Suite from 'Restless'
feel the sun like daggers of flame
ok. changed the layout. you like?
hmm.. interesting day today. me and lisa were going to go to the beach. because, i got a new swimsuit and we wanted to look less vampire-ish and tan ourselves. well, we got in an accident. yea, it sucks. there was a minivan in front of us that stopped short and we didnt have very much time to brake. screeeeeech.. pow. it was a fender-bender. i just got a little freaked. and had some whiplash.
we pulled over to the side with the lady. she was british. another 10 minutes. screeeech pow. a crash in the same place. of all the damned luck. woo. man, that spot is cursed. they had more of a fender bender though.
anyways, we were stuck with an $80 fine for wreckless driving. dont ask me why. that cop was an ass.
more biology fun.
happy st. pat's everyone. go out to your local pub and drink. :)
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 16 March :: 6.04pm
:: Mood: tired and angry
:: Music: Sic Transit Gloria - Brand New
kiss the rain through a blanket of pastels
biology should be a sin in itself.
the very mention of the word should be enough to drive a human insane and wish for better things to come.
or, ms freis shall internally combust and then be sent to live in the eternal flames.
let me suffer and die in silence.
well. i saw secret window twice this weekend. but its ok because that is one freaking awesome movie. i also saw starsky and hutch haha. johnny and owen are the shit (;
i shall be confined to my room for the rest of break to continue my endless work of that-which-shall-not-be-named. (refer to top paragraph)
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 11 March :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: whatever?
:: Music: burn, burn - lost prophets
dance upon the rainbow clouds
oh-my-god-youre-gorgeous!
whoa. good fun in school these past.. two days. and everyday of this week has felt like a friday. its like i mentally go through one school week in a day. weird.
on wednesday i felt like i was 5. i seriously wanted to just slam my books on the ground and throw a tantrum. but i didnt. which is good.
me, car, carrie, and alison all have a lethal fascination with A1 steak sauce. wooo what fun :)
i know i should write a lot more. but as it happens, i am quite the tired one. i guess going to bed at 11:30 isnt good for waking up in the morning hahaha. oh man. ever since ana said it, every time i look at this bunny from the still life we have to draw, i think of it. the first day she said 'wow- that is a hot bunny. you should totally draw it.' i dont know why i think of it though lmao.
ooohhh man. oh man oh man oh man. tomorrow is the last day of school before spring break!! woot!! i can not wait!
.. even if i do have a biology project. darn you, ms freis.
i went to target today. and publix. publix is cool, and you know it. did you know you can buy flip-flops there in the summertime?
you wish you were awesome enough to work there.
hmm.. i wrote a poem that i am actually fond of :)
"Dreams"
Follow me through crashing stars
hold my hand; never let it go
stay with me, your soft soft voice
Lets find our way
through the thickening fog
hold me forever in stormy eyes
Feel the smoothing colors
in the deepening rain
give my lips a little secret
Take me with you
forever in the frozen glory
tell me in the way of rainbows
Taste the grace of dreams
of a place like Neverland
forget anything but you.
2 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 6 March :: 8.22pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: rest in peace
I seem to like the endless today
i was remembering some things from when i was little.
boys are silly.
tomorrow sydney is coming over! it makes me feel like
this ---> (:
we shall party.
i slept in today. until 12:10. ah, so refreshing. considering i had been up for 21 hours, it was no surprise, but hey..
im going to get a little book to put all my poems in :) i have some in a notebook thing, but it looks more like a journal, and its a little big.
i have worked up the courage to post one (:
"Shadows of Secrets"
in the corner
of a bright happy room
there is a secret
a secret no one can see
it moves swiftly
like the falling sky
it doesnt touch or feel
its iridescense lurks in your mind
probing the dark depths
even when the light gives you comfort
it is there
its the invisible menace
the fear you've always encountered
and a nightmare that never ended
its a shadow
that thrives in darkness,
yet basks in light
so tell me
tell me your beautiful secret
..thoughts?
6 stood |
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 5 March :: 9.47pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Crash and burn - Savage garden
im drenched in the sun's frozen glory
You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 4 March :: 11.41pm
:: Mood: deaf
:: Music: the ringing in my ears
Im lost in your unspoken words
one word. concert.
ears hurt. throat's sore. kick ass concert.
highlights:
coheed and cambria played. sweet. cool moshers.
saw 'red-shirt mosher'. we agree that he is hot. (:
thursday. easily the best band. they kicked some serious ass. holy crap. i heart them and wish to buy their cd.
afi. ahhhhh. awesome. :D they also did some ass-kicking.
what else did i do? i saw syd, chels and amanda. the security guards are nice. a guy was eating ketchup next to me.
i. had. the. best. seats.
i could see everything. it was so awesome. yea, i know, you're speechless too.
my brain is on its basic level: fire bad, tree pretty.
that means i have no brain cells left to do their job. im left with strange off-topic ideas and serious symptoms of a.d.d.
sleep now.
canyoustandonyourhead?
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Rina
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2004 3 March :: 10.46pm
:: Mood: sad?
:: Music: cello
let me slip into your place of dreams
i love the cello. its so pretty.
i wish everything was just so.. quiet.
well. on to reality. fcat math. man, was it easy. let common sense reign supreme.
'no. im not crazy!' was my statement today. i think i was completly driven up the wall in biology. we had a 15 question quiz. looong one. i knew one answer. about plankton. not even sure if i got it right either. you try answering some strangishly freakin long words. with 'plankton' stuck in the middle.
anyways. me and sabrina are chewy.
please dont ask and stay away from me when i eat chicken nuggets. they somehow alter my humor. i tend to laugh hysterically if you say 'stop being so chewy.'
concert tomorrow! i cant wait. :D
canyoustandonyourhead?
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