i cant help but stop and stare....
dude! thursday kicked sum major ass!!!! w00t w00t!

we had to wake up at 10 so we could go out to lunch with kristina bucholtz and her mom and camila and kristins moms. haha i had to wash my hair in the sink! then we went to sum bug restaurant called "The Cove" on the intercoastal. julian and his friend david came too. all of us "kids" ended up getting chicken fingers. lol. they were pretty good. then we went cak to camilas house.

me, camila, and kristin were on our way to jeremy's house to play a joke on him and alex and ran into allie. she was on her way to meet up with nick, eric, and scott etc. we were scared that jeremy wuld kill us --- or me ---so we decided not to show up. we went with allie instead. a bunch of ppl ended up showing up (eric, nick, joe, alex, jeremy, russel, scott, martin) then they all like went sumwhere behind the bushes so me and kristin and camila started to leave and then tehy all came bak rite away and hung out with us. we all went into publix and bought water and scott bought a fathers day card. lol.oooh yeah..and kristin hurt her toe so we STOLE A BAND-AID!lol i felt bad...sorta. lol. then we jus chilled and they skated outside of publix. it was fun. then allie, eric, and nick ditched us more or less. after awhile, jeremy and alex left. the rest of us went over to loggers run. it was open cuz of summer camp. we were sneaking around all over and we went on the stage and everything. then we went out and it was pouring. but it stopped like 5 minutes later. then we went bak inside and this door to a room that had a bunch of tvs wit PS2's and X-Box's. so Joe was all like lets take one and sum guy that worked there was like "what are u kids doing?" so we all ran except martin. lol. it was funny. then i got camilas pink cup stuck on the roof so me and camila lifted scott up like cheerleaders lift ppl up and he climbed up there and got it. then we went back to publix and scott decides to fill out an application to work there. so we were all hanging out in the space between the self-opening doors. joe was sitting on one of those electric cart-scooters for old or fat ppl. and he turned it on and it actually worked! he accidently ran into scott and the copy machine. then he started backing up and it made that noise that big trucks make ... BEEP BEEP BEEP... haha sum of us ran out of the store in fear of getting in trouble. but we didnt so we went bak in. then i was getting a gumball outta the machine adn out popped a bug onto my hand with teh gum. i screamed and threw the gumball. then camila ate it!! hahaha. then everyone went over to jeremys house and scott walked home with me, kristin, and camila.

got home and realized i still was wearing scotts hat and i still had his fathers day card in my pocket. so we all planned to meet up later. then kristin got hungry..again! so we walked up to wendys at like 8 at nite. then scott called and said he was coming up there to meet us. so we waited there for him and then gustavo got dropped of there too. so we all started walking bak around 9 and it was all dark and scaryy!! then when we got to camilas, we all decided to go swimming so we all jumped in with our clothes on. it was fun. then we swam for like 2 hours. i hit my head on the edge of the pool twice and scott healed me. LoL. then we got outta the pool and tyler hogan had these two hot ass skater boys on his driveway. lol. then we layed in the middle of the street looking up at the stars.

haha then we had a lil "contest" to see whos butt was bigger out of me and camila. hah scott and gustavo were the judges of that. results were--- "I have a firmer butt and camila has a squishy-er butt and hers is bigger." LOLOLOL!!! then of course, they had to judge our boobs as well. lol. can you say..groping? ahahha it was fun. then they had to leave at like midnite and said they wuld come bak later on.

we went inside, ate grilled cheese and then talked. then the said they were coming over at 2. they came to camilas window and we had to talk thru it cuz we couldnt sneak out. then at like 3, camila finally decided to let them come in. so they crawled thru the tiny window. lol. it was funny but if we were to get caught, we wuld have been in sooooooooooo much trouble!!! we ended up jus all laying ont he bed watching "Viva la Bam". it was fun cuz we had never done anything liek that before. cuz you know, we are goody-goody girls. lol. they left at about 4:20. literally 10 minutes after they left, camilas dad woke up! it was sooo close!

then i went into the bathroom to pee, and i saw a Cock...roach! it was sooo big i had a total spaz. it took like 10 minutes of trying to kill it and it flew into the hallway!!!! so camilas dad finally killed it. we ended up going to sleep at 5:30 and waking up at 1:30.

now im soo tired. and i feel rilly weird i guess. whatever. lol. but these last couple of days were fun. this is waht summer is all about...sneaking boys in, hanging with friends in the strangest places, and jus all around goofing off.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

2 _* | ...[Ryan

you're a touch overrated, you're a lush and i hate it...
wow. these last couple of days have been complete craziness.

WEDNESDAY: my mom woke me up at 10 in the morning. tylers mom was at my door wondering if i could babysit last minute for a few hours. so i had to get up, put clothes on and go. eh i was soo tired. dylan (the 3 year old) spent the whole first 20 minutes calling me a butthole. lol. i ended up gettin paid 25 dollars for like 3 hours. not too bad.

then, when camila got home from her babysitting job, kristin came home with her too. we went to the movies at like 8. we saw "Saved". it was pretty gay. and i saw ryan kirkwood there!!! oooh yeah and these gay kids were throwing twizzlers and skittles at us so me and camila made a scene.. anyways...

after the movies we went over to mcdonalds so kristin culd eat(lol). we saw ori, juliano, gustavo, alex, jeremy, and ori's gf there. then went to starbuck to get coffee <33 then went to borders. i got the book "The Catcher in the Rye" i haveta read it over the summer for AP english next year. we were sitting on the floor looking at these books when we heard the skaters. we got up and there they were. we hugn out with them for a lil while. haha they put PORN IN THE CHILDRENS SECTION!!! it was soo funni.

then we went home and me and krisitn slept over camilas. we prank called jeremy and everyone was with him. lol. ill explain in next entry.!! :D

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

and so i have to say before i go...
angelica im gunna miss you a whole lot!! hope you have fun in tampa! LoL. and u better keep in touch! <33

...[Ryan

cant believe it was me who said that...
today was strange. went over alinas around 4. we went on a lesbian chat room and sent girls pics of camila. ahahaha it was soo funny. they thought she was hot! lol.

then after dinner, i had a wonderful conversation with my dear friend scott. he told me a wonderful story. it was beautiful. i loved it. so did the other ppl...\0/ \0/ \0/ \0/--(these other ppl that is..)--. then, being the grateful person that he is, he gave me a magical bean. if i plant it, when it grows it was give me magical powers like him and ill be able to stick 6 macaroni noodles on one fork prong! amazing huh?

then went over camilas house and went swimming. along with alina, xtina, alana, tyler, julian, mikey and matt. it was fun for a while then it got gay and we got out and went to get a tan on alinas driveway at 8:30. didnt work to well tho, i wonder why? then alina fell...hahaha so hilarious.

after we went in camilas house and we were making fun of alinas boney skeleton feet. she was getting mad so we made up a song that made fun of all our feet. we called it "TOES". yeah it was gay but funny.

oooh yeah and i asked mike this question, Hypothetically speaking of course.....that if he was gay, if he would be attracted to Hugh Grant as opposed to Brad Pitt. he said maybe! LOLOLOL!!!!! wel i thought it was funny..

well now im at home with the most terriblest headache. im gunna go. later ya'll!

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

oooooooo yeah. i almost forgot...me and "my friend" (who wishes to remain anonymous) had a disagreement about whether or not u could have a threesome with 2 guys and 1 girl as opposed to the normal 2 girls and 1 guy. i thought it was possible, but "my friend" didnt. thankfully, i have great friends like scott and gustavo who can help clear things up. scott informed me that it is indeed very possible. gustavo on the other had, went into more detail and told me that that kind of threesome (2 guys, 1 girl) is called a gangbang. wow how educational. its like i have my own lil old sex talk lady like on channel 65 at nite. LOL!!!

...[Ryan

i hope you're as happy as your pretending...
omg. wow. well, my mom and dad jus called the mortage ppl hoping that we can buy a new house.

cuz jus the other day my parents asked me a "hypothetical" question. that if we were to move, what school i wanted to go to. i said that i'd do anything to go to olympic.

i sorta doubt that we will move, but my parents seem to think its very possible. eeek!

wow. now im not sure i wanna move and im not sure i wanna go bak to olympic. geez! i'll explain the pros and cons of each thingy later, i gotta go get ready! peace out! :D

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<333-janelle

...[Ryan

beep. beep. beep...
quiz time!


Screaming infidelities.
someone you loved has decided to leave, and theyve
done something to make you not trust them. do
you really love them and thats y you dont want
them to leave? or do you just not want to be
alone?


what dashboard confessional song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

--He sooo HoTT!!! <3

---i <33 that song!!--

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

mayb i shuld hate you for this...
--hmm...seems a lil pathetic that none of you can take the time to fill out that stupid lil survey like 2 or 3 entires ago. i mean a person i didnt even kno filled it. that rilly says alot about my "friends"...yeah luv u too guys..w/e.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

-janelle-

4 _* | ...[Ryan

i jus dont understand, cant help the way i feel, its crazy but its true...
wow. im must be psychic. like i said awhile ago in an entry..it was jus a matter of time until i fucked everything up.

well i think it happened. its pretty much over. or at least thats how it seems.

-god, sumtimes i wish no one culd read these. cuz then they are gunna be all like "oh janelle is such a drama queen omg shes so annoying blah blah blah". ------->

dont like it? then DONT READ IT! cuz im gunna say what i want and im not scared to say how i feel. i'd rather regret what i said than what i didnt say. so yeah....

but anyways,...i can add this to the list of guys where i ruined everything. hmm---mayb thats why it worked so well with dan, cuz i didnt rilly have much time to talk to him or think about him before he asked me out. it was just kinda surprising...same with scott m. hmmm-mayb i shuld jus take that approach from now on...

so yeah....thats it. ooh yeah and this---->

"Boys are stupid and very very fickle"

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

i never meant to say its over...
well last nite me and camila went to sleep at like 3:30 and then...gustavo called. camila was about ready to kill him!! so i talked to him for like an hour. we ended up going to sleep at almost 5.

woke up at 1. lol. ate breakfast, 20 minutes later, ate lunch. lol. now im bored.

i changed the background again. i like it. its cute. quack! quack!

oooh! 2nite at 6, the AS TOLD BY GINGER MOVIE-"No Turning Back" is on. WATCH IT!!!

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

where everybodie knows your name...
wow. tonite = complete craziness. lol.

went over camilas house did nothing. then went to ask her parents to take us sumwhere when we got hooked on watching sum "Year of the Walrus" special on the discovery channel that her dad was watching. it was funny.

then at like 9 we went to pik up julian from his friend davids house. we got there and they werent home. however, we did see these rilly cute guys!! hehe. then we went to the beach. we walked on the sand and went to the water. i had never seen the beach at nite. it was sooo pretty.

then we got a phone call from davids dad and they said they were at Pioneer Park...whatever the fuck that is. so we go there at like 10. it was sooooo friggin awesome. big ass PLAYGROUND hahha. it was like a castle. i felt like a princess. anywho after playing (i mean hanging) lol there we left. then went to blockbuster at like 11.

got a movie. went bak to camilas house and watched it. it was "Win A Date With Tad Hamilton". it was sooooo cute . i cried...alot! lol. but u kno, im a loser like that.

OMG! then rite after the movied, camila went into the kitchen and ran out screaming cockroach! cockroach! cockroach!. there was this big ass cockroach on the counter and it was alive. we ran screaming and jumped onto the couch. no one wanted to touch it so her mom went and got a can of bug spray. she was too scared to get ril close so she friggin sprayed like everywhere!! it was soo funni. then the cockroach started running on the floor and eventually julian killed it with a shoe. it was rilly funni. i couldnt stop laughing. but if u didnt find it funni, then i guess u had to be there. but it was scary cuz i have COCK-A-PHOBIA. lol!

well now im here...doing nothing and listening to camila read her diary to me. lol. well imma gunna end this now...later all!!

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

w00sh w00sh w00sh!..
FILL in the BLANKS.


I ____ Janelle.
Janelle is ______.
If I were alone in a room with Janelle, I would _______.
Janelle needs ______.
I want to ____________ Janelle.
Janelle reminds me of _______.
Without Janelle, _______.
Janelle can be __________.
__________ is how I describe meeting Janelle.
Worst thing about Janelle is _________.
Best thing about Janelle is _________.
I am ________ with Janelle.
Janelle can ________ my ________ .
When I think about Janelle, I _________.
I ______ date Janelle.


--ha that was a fun and pointless survey thingy,

FILL IT OUT.....or else!!

4 _* | ...[Ryan

yay
w00t w00t! new eyeliner. :D

...[Ryan

*insert guitar solo here*
hmm...changed journal format once again. not sure if i like it.

comment on it por favor?

2 _* | ...[Ryan

with you i fall so fast, i can hardly catch my breath, i hope it lasts...
yeah. i dont remember what i was gunna update about. o well.

dad tells me this morning that mom said she refuses to make dinner if someone doesnt clean up the kitchen and do the dishes. she said SOMEONE and its automatically pinned on me. jus cuz i have to do them every saturday doesnt mean i shuld have to do them every time. why the hell cant u or brandon do them? he always tells me to do them. why doesnt everyone clean up tehre own mess? my whole family is a bunch of pigs and im expected to clean up after them? i dont think so.

and like i told my dad, i dont care we wont eat tonite then. im not doing the dishes. if worse comes to worse...ill go eat at camilas or alinas LoL.

00000 yeah! i got my report card yesterday...i got straight A's!! w00t w00t!! yay im soo happy. but i dont rilly like my cumlulative GPA. its only 3.83. that suxks. ill jus have to try harder next year to raise it. im still worried if i can handle 3 AP classes and 2 honors classes next year along with algebra II and psychology(sp?) . hmmm...im gunna have like no life next year. jus study study study. ahhhh.

shit moms home. i better go. peace.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

alrite, already we'll all float on now dont u worry..
today was okay. i woke up late. watched 7th heaven then went to alinas house. steph was there again. we didnt do anything spectacular. then leah came over.

then i went with camilas mom to pik her up from where she was babysitting. then she took us to the mall. we met up there with allison, brittany, kristin, sonia, and peter. it was pretty gay. camila got pissed at pretty much everyone and me and her ended up leaving them. we bought sandals and then her dad piked us up. it was rilly gay.----but ooooo ya...i saw Ori and Daniel at pac sun!!!! hehe.

now im bored and tired but i dont want to go to sleep. its too early. no ones talking to me rite now so yeah thats y im updating.

but yeah the summer shuldnt be too bad. gunna hang out with summ cool ppls sumtime (john, dan, johnny..) so yeah and im going to wisconsin in july. cant wait for that!!! yay!

well im out. later skater!!!

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

...[Ryan

you got it dude!
today was fun. we went over alinas at like 2 and steph was there too. we ordered pizza and had a lil "party" cuz of...well u kno wat. and thenwe jus hung out. i got married to alina. haahahahaha.

then we went swimming at camilas house and the boys came and were being sucha a pain in the ass. then i had to go home. came bak and went swiming...AGAIN! then it got too coold...brrr... so we ran across the street into alinas pool which is heated. then we swam there for a while and saw danny and pepe.--aww hes soo adorable. even tho hes sucha an evil lil 4 year old! lol.

yeah. then we got out and everyone went home except me. im here now at alinas house watchin full house.

dunno what im doing tomorrow. probly nothing. camila is gunna be gone till 4 cuz she has to babysit.

well im still sitting in my wet bikini and im freezing cold! so imma go change. buh-bye!

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

PS- ooooh yeah. i got my pics that i took on the last week of school developed!! they look sooo cute!!!! most of the are pics from p.e. class. man i loved that class. it was soo much fun and had soo many kickass people in it!! <33

...[Ryan

la la la la...
slept over camilas. went to sleep at like 3. woke up at 12. ate n00dles (haha weird i kno) and we are gunna go over alinas now so we can celebrate her "becoming a woman" lol. <33

i dont kno if i can do anything tonite and dilan is leaving for turkey tomorrow so tonite is the last time i can do sumthin with her for a loooong time. hopefully i can go :)

oooo its thundering again. i <3 the rain. hehe

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

happy 75th anniversary Mickey!
well today was...interesting to say the least. woke up at like 11. ate lucky charms..hehe and then eventually got ready.

i went with camila to the new skool for her guidance counselor meeting. HOLY SHIT! the skool is soooo fuckin BIG. i dont like how it looks either. its soo large and too symettrical. and too tan. haha. well me and julian were sittin in the waiting area thingy and sum guys and their mom sat down at the same lil table as us. damnn..one was pretty hot. lol. but anywho. then we left and ate at mcdonalds. hahaha stupid ass bird fell face first thru and bush. what a dumass!!!

then me and camila made plans with sean (the hot one not the annoying one) to meet him at the mall. we got there and rite after sean called to say him and 4 friends were in the mall looking for us...dan (my ex-bf) called to say he was here too. it was my mistake. i invited both thinking that at least one of them wuld cancel. but no0o0o0o...both show up. damn i have bad luck.

so we met up with dan first and then we were "sorta" looking for sean and all them and i called them several times and they wuld tell us where they were and we wuld go there and they werent there. so eventualy we said "screw 'em" and jus hung out with dan. then we left.

camilas dad took us to jamba juice. haha his had no bananas!!! LoL anywho...guess u had to be there. now i here at camilas sleepin over. been online for a loong time now. nobodies on anymore. its like 2 in the a.m. so yeah. im gunna go. later lovelies.<3

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

--Aicha, Aicha,my my my...she moves, she moves like a breeze, i cant seem to get her out of my dreams...--HAHA that guy is soo fucking funny!!!!

4 _* | ...[Ryan

notice me....take my hand...
hmm...i thought about that entry last nite. and i think i have come up with 3 major reasons and a few lil minor ones.

1). the fact that its summer and i havent done shit and its soo boring that i wanna cry and then that makes me mad.

2). possibly a nopdopropewop (camila u kno), but it dunno actually im gunna try and forget bout that for awhlile and see what happens.

3). and im in "denial" as camila wuld say cuz i dont wanna accept the fact that im leaving tons of great friends next year.

but whatever. i personally think im overreacting jus cuz camila mentioned my change in behavior yesterday. however, it was nice to get all that off my chest and i thank you all for helping me yesterday (camila, kristin, andrew, gustavo--even tho u rilly didnt help, and sonia.) i <3 u all but if u dont mind, i would kinda like to drop this. thanxs.


..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

3 _* | ...[Ryan

this may never start, we could fall apart...
ok here it is. the continuation to my last entry. this is gunna be me...saying exactly how i feel. no wim ur gunna be gay and think im overreacting ot w/e then leave...i dont need to deal with ur shit.

ok well everyone knows me as the funny, happy-go-lucky janelle. im always smiling and laughing. i seem like a pretty happy person rite?...wrong. for as long as i can remeber there has always been a side of me taht absolutely no one knew about. i kept it all bottled up inside of me. not even my mom knows and i tell her EVERYTHING.

lately i have been extra bitchy, depressed, emotional and the like. enuff for my friends to notice and be concerned. it mite have sumthin to do with the fact that i am, in my parents eyes, "the perfect child" i get mostly straight A's, honor roll, NHS, etc. i excell at everything i do. (i dont mean to brag) but u hear of stories of smart ass harvard ppl and stuff that end up eitehr addicted to a drug or dying of an overdose. its becuz of the lack of attention we get. after awhile of succeeding, people tend to care less and ur work goes unnoticed. for example,i have been working on this drawing for quite sum time and i finished it last nite and showed it to my mom,who said, and i quote, "wow. thatsnice. what do u want me to do now? frame it and hang it on the fridge?" wtf? no i dont expect that but a lil praise wuld be nice. jeez i fucking ripped it up and threw it in the garbage. thats all it is to sum ppl. its like "oh janelle got another A, big deal" but "oh look! bob finally got a B! yay go bob." it pisses me off.

also, i've had a i dont give a fuck and an i ahte everything attitude for awhile now. everytime sumone suggests sumthin i hate it. or i dont care. its starting to piss my friends off too cuz im "ruining" their fun. i dunno y this is. i never used to be like this. ...of course, i never was like this until i changed. well changed from prep to punk (if thats wut u wanna call me). camila thinks it may have sumthin to do with this but i dunno. like before i used to listen to britney spears, nsync etc. now its thurday, taking back sunday, dashboard confessional etc. all rock/punk rock bands. i dunno if this has anything to do with it but w/e.

i've been like rilly depressed and emotional too. the slightest thing throws me off and makes me wanna burst into tears. if sumone says sumthin it makes me mad, even if i kno that they are joking. if im talking to sumone online and tehy eitehr stop talking or dont talk as much, i get pissed off. its rilly gay. i have no reason to be like this. i mean my life is pretty good to say the least. i mean i have lots of awesome friends, a nice family, and everything in the guy department seems to be going pretty good too. but thats where i fuck it all up. i think wayy too much about the bad things. or the things that could go wrong. like he could stop liking me. i could annoy him and he'd move on. or nothing will ever happen and im wasting my time. or hes jus saying those things to be nice and he doesnt rilly mean it. some of those things aer kinda absurd but i think bout them so much that i actually start to believe them. now its not jus like this in the guy area. it happens everywhere. i think everything is going to get ruined in the end. i can never take sumthin for what it rilly is. also, i've been ril cranky towards my friends and parents. i've actually yelled at my dad alot. and i NEVER talk bak to my parents.

the biggest problem with this is im afraid of what could happen next. im afraid that it could lead to worser (is that a word) things. im scared that i'll end up like a lot of other ppl i kno and end up drinking, smoking , or self mutilating (thats cutting for u less literate ppl) myself in order to cope with my emotional pain. im also afraid this could lead to long term depression and stuff. now sum of u may think im overreacting bout this cuz ive always had wacky mood swings, but they never lsted this long. i mean yeah, it could be nothing more that a phase, but then again...it could be more.

i dunno if i shuld take camilas idea and try going bak to being preppy-er and less punk and see if that will make me happier. but in teh long run...wuldnt that make me a...poser? rite? ahh. i dunno .

i jus had to write this to get this out in the open. im soooo incredibly sick of keeping all this inside of me. im sick of hating everything. im sick of not caring. im sick of pissing my friends off. im sick of not trusting anything anyone says to me. im sick of being pessimestic about the best situations. im sick of not being appreciated. im sick of feeling like no one likes me. im sick of crying over the littlest things. im sick of feeling like no one cares....

im so sick of feeling this way. sumbodie help me...please.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

-janelle-


all i want is to truly be happy once again. im sick of putting on a show to please people. i just want to be normal again. is that too much to ask?


---i dunno if i got my point accross...the first entry was better i think but it got deleted when my computer froze. grrr.

4 _* | ...[Ryan

i wanna be sumbodie else...
well i guess im writing this as an intro to what i'll write later when i have more time...

well the thing is i'm finally admitting to myself that i am changing...and not rilly for the best. its kinda scaring me. im not the only one who notices either. camila and alina do too and are scared that it mite get worse and lead to other things.

i dont want to have to change the way i am...i love how i am rite now...i jus need to change my attitude i suppose..

(to be continued..)

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

4 _* | ...[Ryan

haha....ok

You're addicted to.....

Weed!
Yes weed! This is one of the more popular and easy
to get drugs out there now. Like LSD weed also
gives hallucinations but not neer as bad.


What are you addicted to? (pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla




me? addicted to weed? yeah riiiiite! haha good one. LOL

...[Ryan

some people search forever for that one special kiss..
ahhhh! i wanna go to the DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL CONCERT!!! I wanna go rilly rilly rilly bad!!! but i dont think i can go. --sadness--

...[Ryan

im writing to you, not to tell you that i still hate you..
damnit! damnit! damnit!

i shulda gone out with camila....

now im stuck here again....

i rilly need to stop...

basing everything around ...

well...

around sumthing.

2 _* | ...[Ryan

ahhhhhhhhh!
OMG!!!! am i.......
...............
..........
.....
...
..
.
BORING?

2 _* | ...[Ryan

you...dont wanna be jus like you...
ehhh. today was boring. well actually everyday is but o well. went shopping with camila, it was gay. didnt buy anything. other than that, i havent done anything. its soo gay. summer suxks balls.

and this stupid computer is rilly pissing me off. my dad installed sum new virus thingy and the computer is supposed to be working better...but im jus having more problems with it!!

ahhh i think im gunna go crazy! im so sick of my family, of being inside, and of doing nothing! if i dont go out one of these nites, i think i mite commit suicide!!!! (no not rilly, but u get my point)

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

this awkward silence makes me crazy...
m0rning! lol. well i jus woke up cuz my stupid dog was barking and wuldnt shut up!

i went to bed late again last nite and daddy had to yell at me again. haha. w/e. i dont care.

wow-people actually read this. so i guess i shuld be a lil more careful about what i say!! lol

chores. ick! l@ter.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

...[Ryan

wow...another gay friday nite...
wow. i need to get a life.

today was rilly stupid. kinda funni but mostly stupid. i went shopping, came home, talked on the computer, went to camilas.

then me, allison, and camila decide we wanna go to the mall but we wanted sean (the hot one) and kenny to go. so we called sean and they said ok in like 2 hrs. so we assumed allisons mom wuld drop us off on her way home. but no. she didnt wanna. neither did camilas mom. so we couldnt go.

me and camila went outside and we saw CORY!! <33...awww hes sucha cutie! lol. then we were chillin with our lil homies lol. --camila"foshizzle my nizzle" --me to the ghetto gangster fag "it was an accidententizzle i swear!!" hahahaha. that was funni.

FERRETS = EVIL!!!
then we went to the pet store and i was looking at this cute lil ferret (sp?). it stood up next to the cage thing so i went "aww" and leaned closer and he jumped up and almost BIT ME!!! he was gunna eat me i swear!! omfg it was sooo scary!! i told the petstore man and he pretty much told me i was nuts. w/e. then we went publix...wow what fun. its friday nite and we are at publix...talk about being Losers!! anywho i saw fat eric from p.e. there. aww hes soo funni.

went home and then went to hang out with danny, cory<33, juan, tyler, julian, felipe, tyler. it was pretty gay/funny. they tried to get us to play manhunt. ha yeah riiiite. they had the better team. they all ran in the backyards except cory<33 and there was no way in hell u culda gotten us to go bak there. its too scurry! lol. so we decided to play the "scare game" its soo gay. they did scare the crap outta us when they popped outta the garbage cans. lol. well at least i screamed. then danny fell out of it. Dork!! lol. it was rilly prety gay tho.

w/e im kinda pissed rite now. grrrr! im out. peace.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

...[Ryan

rumble! rumble! rumble! BOOM!!
hehe. yeah so this morning i woke up early and went shopping with mi mommy and my grandma. i got 3 tank tops and 2 pairs of pants. so yeah. anywho then we went out to lunch at roadhouse and now im bak at home cuz my mom stil has to go to work today.

now im bored. its gunna rain soon too. yay. i <3 the rain. it smells pretty. hehe

i wanna go out sumwhere tonite. anyone wanna take me sumwhere? lol damn i need a car...now! lol

imma gunna go. later ya'll.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

...[Ryan

on a monday i am waiting, on tuesday i am fading and by wednesday i cant sleep....
stupid! stupid! stupid! god im soo freakin stupid sumtimes. this always happens to me. i either dont say sumthing that i regret or i do say sumthin and then regret it.

heres sumthin i said to this guy recently that i regret becuz i think i messed things up...
i shuld have never told him how i felt about him. im pretty sure i fucked everything up. im pretty positive nothing is gunna come out of this and im jus screwing myself over waiting for him to do sumthin. of course, i culd be wrong and no matter what i wuld have said nuttin wuld have happened. who knos. i shulda jus kept my mouth shut. y do i always do this??

next time im gunna keep my mouth shut about who i like. i need to stop fucking everything up. i always ruin everything.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<33-janelle

7 _* | ...[Ryan