<center>And i can still hear the sound of love, run dry...</center>

:: 2004 11 September :: 12.43am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: how come by: D12

we dont even talk no more, and you dont even call no more...

today was retarded. did nothing until 1:30 when me , alina and steph went up to publix to buy cupcakes for dannys bday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANNY!!! <33 anyways then we went and chilled at alinas. then got ready and went to the movies with camila, zach, and jaryd. we met up with amanda and danny. danny left and the rest of us crossed the street and went to the pet store and blockbuster. then we went bak to shadowood and everything started closing cuz of the fucking curfew so we sat in the movie theater lobby on benches and yeah. then we left. and yes. found out that zach likes me and yeah. and i hope things work out with me and max. cuz i realy like him. sighhh. now im on the phone with kristin, maggie, johnathon, and camila. but yes, im bored and im guna go.

-later skaters-

:: 2004 9 September :: 8.48pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: she will be loved by: Maroon 5

look for the girl with the [b r o k e n] smile..

wow. today sucked so much ass. i woke up at like 11. talked to lauri a bit. then took a hot shower and stuff and went on the computer and danced around my house like an idiot while blasting the music until 5 when camila got home. then we went to get gas and while in like we ran into our dear friends scott, gustavo, and evan. we chilled with them for a while. they walked to publix with us then we left. then went to the pet store by home depot. they didnt have an ferrets (thank god) but we did see guinea pigs fuck each other up the ass. lmao!! anyways then walked up to wendys with nicole and camila. we met chris and max up there. it was gay. then left and walked nicole home and she got grounded cuz it was late. now im at camilas cuz i dunno why. but yes.

god damnit. i always fuck everything up. i seriously do. i wish i never wrote that fucking journal entry with my gay "rules". it fucked up everything. i like how things were before i wrote that. now i know that hes like either scared to do anything with me in public or w/e for fear that i'd get mad or sumthing. and i know that for a fact that he doesnt feel the same around me after reading that. i wish we would actually act like bf/gf. i take back every fucking word that was in the journal entry. god im so fucking stupid. this has to be what like the 5th time i've fucked everything up? wow janelle congratulations on being a fucking loser.

-later-

:: 2004 9 September :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: Dip it Low by: xtina millan

pop pop pop that thang....lol

SmarterChild: I absolutely have a penis.

-wow. everyone has one now-a-days.

:: 2004 9 September :: 2.05pm
:: Mood: bouncy

awww...how adorable!!!

adopt your own virtual pet!

--im sucha dork!

1 _* | ...[Ryan

:: 2004 9 September :: 1.53pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: daddy on the phone

blah blah beep blah blah..

ahh today was absoultely wondeful. i took a hot shower, blowdryed my hair and straightened it. i had gotten my hair cut during the hurricane and i never really got to see what it looks like and now i do. its hot. i love it. lol. but anyways im bored i was gunna go over jaryds house but its too far away to walk by myself. camila wont get home until 5 and then i want to make plans to go out tonite....

-later dudes-

:: 2004 8 September :: 8.50pm
:: Mood: bothered
:: Music: nothing the speakers wont work

electricity=necessity

YAY for POWER!! wow, jus got our power bak this afternoon after like 4 days of no power. power is a wondeful thing. lol . anyways last couple of days have been really gay. thought we were gunna die on sat. nite when the hurricane came and i was on the phone until my battery died and the power went out. then one day went to miami with camila and we watched tv!! haha comedy central is funny shit dude. hung out with jaryd a couple times no one else tho really....ooo we talked to eddie one day for sum reason...dunno why. camila slept over a few times cuz i at least had a phone line that worked.
today:, after getting power, we went to the mall with jaryd and met up with kristin. max eventually met up with us, then left to go hang out with jeremy and stuff....grrr i dont even feel like getting into it right now. blahhh. yes then i jus hung out with jaryd cuz everyone was being gay. allison came and was being a total whore. krisitn and camila kept leaving and so i hung out with jaryd and his friends frank, matt, josh, and seth.....aww josh and seth were sooo cute. lol. but anyways yeah then we left and it was raining like a motherf*cker. and we culdnt tkae jaryd home cuz boca winds was like flooded. so he had to walk from the entrance. but yeah. now im bored and im hoping max will call me cuz i need to talk to him...but whatever.

-later lovers-

:: 2004 4 September :: 6.32pm

SURVEYNESS!!

1. Nervous Habits? play with my hair and giggle uncontrollably
2. Are you double jointed? in my jaw
3. Can you roll your tongue? no
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? yeahh
5. Can you blow spit bubbles? of course
6. Can you cross your eyes? yes
7. Tattoos? no
8. Piercings and where? 3 on each ear and right carilage
9. Do you make your bed daily? yeah riiight

Clothes
10. Which shoe goes on first? i wear sandals
Where's #11? after the word where's
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? a dollar. lol
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? earring, key necklace, bracelets
14. Favorite piece of clothing? my green shorts

Food
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? both?
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? um no thats gross
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? vanilla
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? 3 mayb?
19. What's your favorite beverage? dr. pepper or coke
20. What's your favorite restaurant? outback
21. Do you cook? no

Grooming
23. Hair drying method? hair dryer
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? oh all the time

Manners
25. Do you swear? all the time
26. Do you ever spit? yeah, im bad at it tho, once it got in my ear! lol

Favorites
27.Animal? llama
28. Food? chicken fingers
29. Month? april
30. Day? friday
31. Cartoon? jimmy neutron and dave the barbarian
32. Shoe Brand? adios
33. Subject in school? chem or psych
34. Color? black and pink
35. Sport? basketball
36. TV show? real world
37. Thing to do in the spring? my bday
38. Thing to do in the summer? hang at the window
39. Thing to do in the fall? go outside
40. Thing to do in the winter? go outside minus the mosquitoes

In and Around
41. The CD player? ryan cabrera cd
42. Person you talk most on the phone with? max or camila
43. Ever taken a cab? no but i want to!
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors? haha yes
45. What color is your bedroom? white and orange
46. Do you use an alarm clock? yeahh
47. Window seat or aisle? window

Lala Land
48. What's your sleeping position? dunno anything with my blanket!
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? definately
50. Do you snore? haha sumtimes
51. Do you sleepwalk? um no
52. Do you talk in your sleep? haha yeah
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? nope
54. How about with the light on? no
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? no
56. Last interesting person you met? umm omg i dunno i met soo many ppl in the last like month but it wuld proll be jeremy gale! lol

FIRST
First piercing/tattoo: ear when i was 2
First enemy : dunno
First concert : xtina aguliera with molly

LAST
Last kiss : umm wednesday?
Last library-book you read : shock by robin cook
Last seen movie : anacondas
Last food you ate : spaghetti
Last call you called : camila and jaryed
Last song you played : breakaway
Last annoyment : the power surge
Last drink : pepsi
Last nag : dunno
Last site you visited : woohu.com

SHORT ANSWERS
I'm : listening to my family play a board game
I have : to pee
I hope : i can hang out tomorrow
I hate : gustavo
I'm afraid of : cockroaches and spiders and I-95
I hear: the wind beating the shit outta my house
I wonder: why
I love : ryan cabrera
I nowadays : hate school
I'm not : stupid
I sing : very badly
I cry : all the time
I'm not usually : happy
I write : stupid storied
I get puzzled : very easily
I need : to make things work this time
I should : read my book

YES OR NO
Do you keep diary? : nope
Do you think cooking is fun? : not at all
Do you have a secret, you haven't told anyone? : yes
Do you like to be photographed? : no
Have you climbed to a tree in last 6 months? : nope
Have you ever breathed helium to speak with a funny voice?:yeahh

MIXED
Do you have a crush? : yeah sure
Do you wanna get married? : yes
Do you often suffer from travelling-nausea? : never
Are you a health enthusiast? : um no
Do you get along with your parents? : yes
Do you like thunderstorms? : yep
Your haircolour at the moment : blondish reddish blackish shit
Place of birth : milwaukee, wisconsin

FAVOURITE
Number : 11
Colour :black&pink
Day :friday
Month : april
Songs : #4 on the jet cd and #3 and 6 on ryan cabrera cd annnnd lean back!
Season : winter
Drink : dr pepper or coke

WHICH DO YOU PREFER?
Endearment or Making out :making out...wtf is endearment?
Friends or Boy-/Girlfriend : depends
Cold or Hot Chocolate : cold
Milk, Dark or White Chocolate : dark
Vanilla or Chocolate : vanilla
Strawberries or Rasberries : raspberries
Potatoes, Rice or Pasta :pasta
Sunrise or -set : set
The stars or the Moon : stars

-------------------------------------------

First best friend: camila, hillary, lauri
First car: none yet
First break-up: scott m.
First screen name: omg i cant remember...wow
First self purchased album: prolly N*SYNC or BSB lol
First funeral: my grandpas?
First pets: sassy my doggy....RIP *tear*
First piercing/tattoo: my ears when i was 2
First credit card: never
First true love: not yet..
First enemy: dunno
First big trip: umm to florida?
First music you remember hearing in your house: prolly the itsy bitsy spider lol
Last cigarette: never
Last car ride: wednesday
Last good cry: yesterday
Last library book checked out: oh god. i don't even remember
Last movie seen: anacondas
Last beverage drank: pepsi
Last food consumed: spaghetti
Last crush: maX?
Last phone call: camila and jaryed
Last time showered: this afternoon
Last shoes worn: my black sandals
Last item bought: gum?
Last annoyance: my brother
Last time wanting to die: never
Last time scolded: i never get in trouble lol

relationships
01. who are your best friends? camila, hillary, lauri
02. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? yes
01. where is your favorite place to shop? at a mall
02. any tattoos or piercings? my ears. n i want my tongue!!

specifics
01. do you do drugs? no way
02. what kind of shampoo do you use? biolage color care
03. what are you most scared of? spiders and crashing on I-95
04. what are you listening to right now? suck my kiss by red hot chili peppers
05. where do you want to get married? in a big church or on a mountain
06. how many buddies are online right now? like none cuz nobodie has power!!
07. what would you change about yourself? my eyes...they are too tiny

favorites
01. color: black and pink
02. food: chicken fingers
03. boys' names: josh, david, matt
04. girls' names: alina, reaganm, kendall
05. subjects in school: chem and psych
06. animals: llamas and monkies
07. sports: basketball
08. perfume: ralph lauren
09. cologne: axe

h a v e | y o u | e v e r
01. given anyone a bath? cha
02. smoked? nope
03. bungee jumped? no wayyy
04. made yourself throw up? no
05. skinny dipped? nope
06: been in love? no sir
07. made yourself cry to get out of trouble? yes alot
08. pictured your crush naked? uh no
09. actually seen your crush naked? nope
10. cried when someone died? yeahh
11. lied? all the time
12. fallen for your best friend? yupp
13. been rejected? yeah
14. rejected someone? yup of course

c u r r e n t
clothes: bball shorts and a white tank top
music: none speakers broke *tear*
make-up: none lol i look scary!
annoyance: the wind of the hurricane
smell: i cant smell im sick
desktop picture: sum black and gray thing
cd in player: ryan cabrera
dvd in player: i dont have a dvd player
color of toenails: black of course

last | person
you touched: camila?
hugged: jaryed camila and joe all at the same time lol
you imed: kevin

w h o | d o | y o u | w a n n a
kill: two ppl...
slap: same two ppl...
get high with: nobodie
look like: ??
talk to offline: anyone
talk to online: anyone

w h i c h | i s | b e t t e r
coke or pepsi: coke
flowers or candy: flowers
tall or short: tall

r a n d o m
in the morning: i pee
all i need is: to get sum fresh air
love is: a bunch of bullshit
i dream about: stuff
what do you notice first with guys: if they have a skateboard lol
last person you danced with: cant remember, think it was mike or diego
worst question to ask: how far have you gone?
who makes you laugh the most: the word "penis"
who makes you smile: everyone
who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: ppl i like...
who do you have a crush on: ..my bf
who has a crush on you: hopefully my bf lol

d o | y o u | e v e r
sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: once lol
wish you were a member of the opposite sex: sumtimes, its easier to pee when u have a penis
wish you were younger: all the time

n u m b e r
of times i have had my heart broken: twice?
of hearts i have broken: 4 or so
of continents i have lived in: one
of tight friends: like 5?
of cds i own: a lot
of scars on body: a lot

--yay. all done. now i have to turn off the computer cuz a bigggg storm is coming. bye ya'll!

:: 2004 4 September :: 2.28pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: the news

frances this, frances that....

wow. im bored. the cables out and no ones online cuz most ppl lost their power already. hmm. so ill prolly end up reading my book...eeek. whatever. its so cool to watch the hurricane tho...

:: 2004 3 September :: 10.35pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: Breakaway by: Kelly Clarkso

wanted to belong here, but something felt so wrong here....

awww today sucked yet ended fun. i slept ovr camilas last nite and it was soo dark and scary and we beat each other up in our sleep. lol. then i went home and we were gunna go to max's house but camila didnt want to so i did nothing all day. ooo ooo ooo! but i cleaned my room! ya'll shuld be proud! i packed all my "nesecites" up. lol. then i talked on the phone with max and watched the ring. fucking scary movie. then camila and alina magically showed up in my room and told me to go outside that there was a party. so we went to the block party and sat in alinas room drawing pictures of her dead body after the hurricane comes and hairy penises. lol. then mike (her dad) came in and i gave hima hug and took a drink of his beer and it was really good so i took another then he gavve it to us and jus told us not to tell alinas mom. dude mike, u rock! so we all passed the beer around. it was good. we wanted more but he wuldnt let us. *tear*. then we laid in the street looking at the stars and at the boy next door. he was ugly tho. lol. then we ate chocolate cake with our fingers, well i used my fingers they were to sophisticated for that so tehy used forks. then camila left and patrick (20 year old chinese dude) from down the street, came over and sat down on the driveway and talked to me and alina for like 20 minutes. it was weird. hes kinda creepy. butyeah. then i told alina my "secret" and she and i have psychiatric sessions lol. and we sang my weed song. then i left and yes. im here. well i must go cuz i have to change this song. i hate it.

-later losers-

f*cking hurricane better hurry up and come cuz i want to actually be able to do sumthin this weekend!! ahhhh!! frances sucks hairy penis!!

:: 2004 3 September :: 4.35pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: surrender by ashlee simpson

oh you drive me crazy...boy you just bring me down...

god im seriously considering making my journal friends only so no one can see it if all your gunna do is leave bitchy comments in my journal. if i say sumthin u dont like, suck it up. this isnt ur journal, its mine.

3 _* | ...[Ryan

:: 2004 2 September :: 9.16pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: camila burping

excuse you!

wow. we jus saw a commercial for "Low-Carb Dog Food"...what has this world come to???

:: 2004 1 September :: 8.29pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Taking Back SUnday

she paints her nails and she dont kno, hes got her best friend on the phone...

The Story of Rap
as told by: Brian

Once upon a time........there were some black stoners smoking wayyy to much n they started a band of new music n they called themselves crap because they we're amused by dog shit but they were too stoned to even remember how to spell so they created rap that is y i laugh when i hear rappers cuz i always think of crappers.........And they lived happily ever after.

THE END.

--that deserved to win the award thing they give to good books. lol--

:: 2004 1 September :: 7.49pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: Exit2Exit by: my lover ryan<3

i can still hear the sound of love run dry...

omfg. i wish everyone wuld shut the hell up about this hurricane. personally, i think everyone is over obsessing about this. and no one except for mayb ur grandparents can tell me that they've been thru a fucking hurricane before and that im being stupid not caring. cuz ya'll havent been thru one. everyone is jus scared shitless because a storm this big has never come this close to boca since 1947. yes, 1947 bitches. i went to wendys today and there were cars backed up all the way down the road for gas. wtf yo. its not like we are gunna fukcing die. jesus christ people. if one more person says that i better board up my windows, im gunna shoot them. seriously, shut up all of you and stop acting like u fucking know everything. god damnit people are fucking stupid...

-fuck off-

:: 2004 1 September :: 9.03am
:: Mood: deathly sick
:: Music: only one by yellowcard

here i go, so dishonestly...

how cool is this? its 9 am and school hasnt started yet!! i love these days. im on the phone with camila and eating chips cuz i didnt want a bagel. ewie. we get to go to starbucks before school!!! yay!!! scotts coming at like 9:40 then we will leave. but jesus christ i am sooo sick. if today was an odd day, i wuld stay home from school...

hurricanes coming. joy.

-later g units-

<3-janelle

:: 2004 31 August :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: accomplished
:: Music: Decade Under Influence by: TBS

i got a bad feeling about this...

yayness. i painted my nails sparkly white and changed my journal format around abit. well jus the colors and the icon. comment and tell me what ya think! oh and i totally bullshitted my spanish homework. wow im gunna fail that class. =)

-later skater-

:: 2004 31 August :: 4.45pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Love for Me: Ashlee Simpson

its been 3 days, you come around here like you know me...
here i am as
[ p e r f e c t ]
as im ever gunna be...

today was alrite. i was soo freakin sick when i woke up that i was gunna stay home. but i didnt. i think my hair color still looks like shit. but whatever. 1st hour was ok. we went in the mini computer lab thing and did gay stuff. then 3rd hour i fucking failed the test. grrrr. then took notes. lunch-was funny. sum girl fell on her ass. lol!! 5th hour sucked penis. its so boring and i dont get anything. 7th hour was ok. i dont mind that class. me and dana talk and laugh constantly so its fun. i got a 78% on the test tho. thats a C. i dont get C's. grrr im soo mad. then met up with justin b. after skool and me and camila walked home with him. oh and jd but he doesnt count. i made up a song along the way....

"Smoke Song"

i plant a seed
to grow mi weed.
it will choke
so i can smoke
mi WEED. mi WEED.

--lmao. its gunna be a #1 hit sumday.

jesus christ. i think i've sneezed more times today than i have my entire life put together. i think my nose is gunna either explode or fall off.

i need a tissues and my m&m's. peace muthafuckas.

<33-janelle

:: 2004 30 August :: 10.32pm
:: Mood: geeky
:: Music: Lean Back by: terro squad

my niggas dont dance we jus pull up our pants and do the ROCKaway...

oooh i forgot. on sunday at like 3:30 allie randomly calls me and is like lets go bowling with dan. i was like ok. so her grandma took us and we met sum new people. eddie, jackie, steven, and mike. and wel dan. but we kno him. it was fun, me and allie suck at bowling but i did get a pair of hott ass bowling socks!! hehe. then dan had to give us a ride home, as in him driivng the car. OMG i thought we were gunna die. he left us at teh alley with mike and told us he wuld come bak for us, it took him forver to come bak then he took us home and yeah. surprisingly, neither of us got in trouble. w00t w00t. but yes. i cant say this in english cuz then ill get "yelled at" so here goes..."mop i kop e [new word] i sop [new word] rop e a lop lop yop [new word] hop o top top!!! [end of sentence]. omg it was like...wow. lol. anywyas i gotta go to sleep. peace foo.

my [heart] keeps
f
a
L
L
i
n
g

faster...

im afraid to know the answer...
do you
[want]
me too?

<33-janelle

:: 2004 30 August :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: i haveta pee
:: Music: Suck My Kiss by: RHCP

hit me, you cant hurt me, suck my kiss xxx...

well. things are back to normal somewhat i believe. i dyed my hair. i liked it but ppl dont seem too. funny how ppl can make so much fun of it, but when its gone they are sad. supposedly im hotter with blonde hair..whatever. and i got mad that i got a 88% on my history test. grrrr. i hate that grade the most. anyways yes. then after school jd was gunna give us a ride home but she neevr came so we jus all walked. camila ditched us for jd and his gay friends so me, amanda, and my new friend stefan walked home and talked. twas fun, then amanda and me went to camilas and we decided to meet jaryed and andrew at publix so we wakled to amandas house and her daddy drove us there. we sprayed perfume on each other and i still smell like a man (a sexy man) lol. then i saw ERIC!! from pe last year. aww. lol. and i saw jerermy schniberg. then i wanted a quarter and nice andrew gae me one (you rock) and so did sum mentally retarded man that works at publix (i think it was the same one that hit on me that one day) so yes. i bought gum. then we went to wendys and chilled. then to packys and played on their fake motorcyles. then we all went home. and yeah. thats it. im gunna go. peace out niggas.

--oh yeah, and "the thing" backfired and im pissed. i dont want to hear about it anymore they might as well go and fuck each other. theres no stopping this anymore. jesus christ...

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

:: 2004 27 August :: 11.29pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: blah

blah blah blah....

OMFG. tonite sucked so much ass you have no idea. today was dilan's 16th birthday party and i was all happy and excited and then no one else was home so my daddy was gunna take me. but he told me to drive since i havent driven in a while. well the shifter gear thing in his car doesnt workk very well so when i tried to shift to reverse i accidently shifter to neutral, stepped on the gas and hit the fucking garage door. i have never gotten yelled at soo much before in my entire life. my dad was cursing and swearing all over the place. he told me to go to my room and i was all like "but daddy, wut about the party?" and hes like "ur not going %^%@&@!" omg i was sooo pissed i was like crying in my room then jack called me and i was all upset and stuff. god i hate my dad. its not like i did it on purpose and his car barely got a scratch. i mean at least were not dead. but yeah, i have no idea how long im grounded for. but then my mommy came home from work, and felt bad so she took me to coldstones to get ice cream and i saw a few friends and was all like "hi" and i saw kia but then i i had to go home. this sucks i wanted to go to dilans party so0o0o0o0o0oo bad. grrrr. fucking parents i swear. now ill prolly never get my license...

<33-janelle

I LOVE YOU DILAN!!! I HOPE YOUR BDAY KICKED MAJOR ASS. WE NEED TO HANG OUT SOON. IM SOOOO SORRY I COULDNT GO! LOVE U! <333

:: 2004 27 August :: 4.41pm
:: Mood: mad
:: Music: A Decade Under the Influence by: TBS

to hell with you and all your friends...

god. no one understands me. i hate it. no really even tries. i hate how people make assumptions or says things based on my beliefs and shit. like seriously, lots of things piss me off, make me mad, and make me depressed. i dont like feeling like that so i try to tell people what i like and dont like and then they turn around and say shit or dont even talk to me at all. god i hate this soo much.

-whatever-

im not the happy fucking retard everyone thinks i am. i jus play that part so i can cover up how i really feel since no one ever tries to get to kno me. all they do is judge...

4 _* | ...[Ryan

:: 2004 25 August :: 4.30pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: jet

[drum solo baby!!]

grrrr ness yo. yes, im gunna talk about ppl in here once again. and guess what? i dont care wat u all say. ok wel here goes....

***[names have been changed to protect the innocent]***

ok well george* asked me out and his best friend herald*, who is george's best friend, got mad cuz he thought he wuld be losing a friend. well i've tried and tried to make him feel normal but it hasnt seemed to work. he hardly ever talks to me at school (not that he ever did much) but he talks even less and like yeah, eveytime i see herald when im woth george, herald doesnt stick around long and i see like anger or hurtfulness of sumthin in his eyes. this could jus be me losing my mind but whatever. its makes me upset when i found out that hearld said he can never talk to me the same again. that hurts because now i dont even kno if i want to go ouit with george if its guna jepordize a friendship witha pretty good friend. i mean, i love george and herald with everything i have cuz they are two of the most kickass people i kno and they pay attention to me, but ....i just wish things were back to normal between all three of us. . .

-janelle-

"friends last forever, boyfriends/girlfriends dont"

^^ wow how corny, yet so true....

:: 2004 25 August :: 4.28pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Jet

[insert guitar solo here]

AHHHH!!! OMFG!!! my little camila is growing up soooo fast!!! awww her and jaryed are going out (supposedly as of sunday) that means, once again, we got asked out the same day. annnd both ou bf's are jewish!!! wtf there is seriously something wrong with us!!! LMAO!!

best of luck u two!! <3

=)

5 _* | ...[Ryan

:: 2004 25 August :: 4.11pm
:: Mood: confuzzled
:: Music: my lover of course. <3

cuz my [heart] keeps f a l l i n g faster....

wow. lately everything = fucked up. like seriously. im starting to lose my fucking mind. i dont know what to do or what i want. i was supposed to change or delete a past journal entry but i jus cant do that. what i write in here, stays in here. if you dont like it, dont read it. its that simple.

anyways, i've come to the conclusion that i am a horible, bitchy girlfriend. well i've always known this but whatever. this is my list of DONT'S that any guy who wants to be with me has to abide by:

-i hate clingy bfs. sumtimes i jus need my space.
-i need time alone with my friends. i cant be with u all the time.
-i have other guy friends. dont be jealous of them if i liked them i wuld already be with them, not u.
-i hate talking on the phone.
-never call me when im studying or trying to sleep. you will piss me off if i tell u not to call and u do so anyways.
-absolutely positively NO SEX or anything else related to it.
-i dont like PDA's (public displays of attention) so dont get mad if when we go to class im not like all over u making out and shit. cuz thats not how i roll.
-i also feel extremely weird kissing and stuff in front of my friends because i hate ppl gettin all in my business and asking me questions.
-if im uncomfortable with sumthin, ill show it and then u shuld kno to stop whatever it is thats going on.
-i hate it when ppl call me "baby" "babe" and all that other shit
-dont say "i love u" to me cuz i wont say it bak cuz i dont believe ppl actually "love" each other after like dating for a week. thats complete bullshit.

-----yes. thats my list. i kno it seems gay, stupid and retarded and like it seems like no guy can do all those things, well they can. if u dont like the above^^ then u dont rilly like me. so yeah. dont care what u think cuz i actually make morals and rules for myself to abide by.. im not sum walking slut. take it over leave it.

ok thats all i really had to say. so yeah.

-later niggers-

<33-janelle

4 _* | ...[Ryan

:: 2004 23 August :: 7.31pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: ryan (my husband)

Help Me!!!

i've been debating about dying my hair reddish again. im getting really sick of the fucking blonde jokes. what do ya'll think? please comment and tell me. thnkz.

COMMENT HOES!!!

much love. <3

:: 2004 23 August :: 7.27pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: my lovers cd. <3

feels like the top of the world right here...

school was gay. failed my env. test. then study my butt of for my spanish test only to find out that it isnt until tomorrow. grrrrr! then had an ap history test. was easy. yay. math was easy. chemistry was fun. lol. i love the ppl in that class. especially dana. shes sooo funny. lol. then daddy piked me and camila up cuz it was raining. then we talked. walked up to publix and i got attacked by a bee that wanted to kill me. it was horrible. i like cried. yes. then we went to the park and sumone broke camilas swing in half *tear* now i haveta go read. i keep putting it off. STOP PROCRASTINATING JANELLE UR AN IDIOT. lol ok later ya'll.

<3-janelle

:: 2004 23 August :: 7.18pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Ryan Cabrera cd fuckers!!

i almost fell right thru, but i held onto you...

wow. um lots have happened since saturday nite. woke up early and went home and did hw from 10 am till 10 pm. im not fucking kidding. it was awful. then in the middle of it all, i had and oh-so-famous janelle "episode". lol. yes the kind where everything is great then i fuck things up and make everything good horrible. yes it is one of my horrible flaws. i can never make a relationship work very well. i usually dont want them too anyways. i dunno im weird when it comes to having a bf. like i say i want one, then when i get one, i kinda dont want it. lol. im sucha fag. but yeah theres more. so yes max asked me out. i wasnt sure what to do cuz chris got mad and i totally understand why and i dont want anyone to get mad at me ,,,i LOVE everyone. especially my friends. but yeah the horrible part is, and i kno i shuldnt say this here but i jus have to, is that i like max but, i kinda like sumone else too. and yeah. thats horrible. i dont mean to be ungrateful but i kinda wish the last two days didnt happen and we were all jus the same did group of good friends. i like it better that way. i always get all weird when i have a bf. the onlu exception was with dan and i think that was because i didnt kno him very well, he didnt go to my school, and i wasnt friends with his friends. ahhhh i dunno. im gunna end now. i dont feel like getting cranky and crying again. =). holla.

..::LaTeR dAyS::..

<3-janelle

COMMENT HOES!!!

:: 2004 22 August :: 1.39am
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: she will be loved by: Maroon 5

i drove for miles and miles and wound up at you door...

What is your favorite..
gum: pink extra
restaurant: fidays?
drink: dr. pepper
season: winter
type of weather: cold and cloudy
emotion: happiness, however mostly i experince sadness and anger
thing to do on a half day: go to mamas pizza with the crew...I MISS U ALL!!!
late-night activity: talk at camilas window, its getting gay tho
sport: basketball, skateboarding even tho i suck
city: not boca.
store: dont have one
When was the last time you..
cried: almost today
played a sport: dunno...
laughed: tonite
hugged someone: tonite
kissed someone: tonite
felt depressed: yesterday
felt elated: yesterday and today
felt overworked: everyday at school
faked sick: havent done that since 1st grade
lied: today
What was the last..
word you said: "no"
thing you ate: chicken fingers
song you listened to: somebody told me by the killers
thing you drank: diet coke
place you went to: marshalls house
movie you saw: dreamcatcher
movie you rented: dont remember
concert you attended: xtina aguliera in 6th grade lol
Who was the last person you..
hugged: max
cried over: dan
kissed: max
danced with: mike
shared a secret with: prolly alina
had a sleepover with: camila
called: max or camila
went to a movie with: scott, camila, juli, alex, gustavo, jeremy
saw: spiderman 2
were angry with: everyone
couldn't take your eyes off of: ryan cabrera
obsessed over: ryan cabrera
Have you ever..
danced in the rain: oh yes
kissed someone: yeah
done drugs: nope
drank alcohol: yes
slept around: no way
partied 'til the sun came up: no
had a movie marathon: yeah
gone too far on a dare: no
spun until you were immensely dizzy: yess
taken a survey quite like this before: yeah

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK!

boredness = gayness

:: 2004 22 August :: 1.14am
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: my happy ending

you were everything that i wanted..

god i fucking hate this shit. it makes me soo mad whe this happens. and it always fucking happens. grrr i hate this. whats the point of even being here if im never included in anything? jesus christ..

leave me alone fuckers.

:: 2004 22 August :: 12.26am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Only One by: Yellowcard

i let go, cuz theres no one that gets me like you do....

today was gay. woke up at like 10 and went home. did chores. showered. started homework. stopped cuz im gay. slept. babysat marshall -which was a m ajor pain in the ass- came home. ate dinner. max came over. hung out with him. we thought we saw spirits and dead ppl in the backyard. then jeremy and chris showed up, made noises, and scared the shit outta me. lol. then we went out front and played the oh-so-original "truth and dare". lol. it was gay sorta. oh course jeremy makes me go first and i have to kiss max. i did. no big deal =). lol. then yeah it was retarded. camila kissed jeremy, chris wuoldnt hump the fire hydrant (lmao), jeremy touched my boob and max kissed it (with clothes on of course). yes then we quit cuz emily came home and god forbid jeremy be seen with us. wtf seriously that pisses me off soooo bad. grrr. then we had to go in and they went to the window and it was gay. max wasnt allowed to sleep over jeremys so then his dad came and took them all home. then we killed mosquitoes and im here takin to chris and yeah thats all cuz no one else will tlak to me. gr tomorrow i haevta get up early again, do shit loads of homework and depending on how much i get down, max might come over and chillax. HAHA thats sucha gay word. anyways im gunna go im tired.

-later losers-

<33-janelle