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2003 25 November :: 2.11 pm
:: Music: shitty music playign in the room
venting... JS is an asshole
Today was pretty sweet... lol.. i seem to be alot moer lade back about stuff lately... i got to school..yeah.. lol.. ms halverson was finally back from her sprang ankle... she left though 30 mins into class and we had a sub again.. then in Chem we silver coated the inside of glass bottles and you have to shake them for a really long time in order to do it.. after shaking the bottle back and forth for like an half an hour everyone in class started complaining.. and i felt kinda bad becuase i felt like i could probly shake that bottle for like another hour or 2... lol.. becuase i use that muscle soo much.. not something i brag about but it was kinda funny along with being sad. then me and Will C went to McDonalds and DunkinDonuts... im goign to have to stop eating McDonalds.. people say im wicked skinny soo i should eat alot of it but the thing is that my ass is going to start growing unimaginably... and im going to be a skinny kid with a huge ass.... and thats NOT going to be cute at all...lol... then i went to lunch C and D.. funny stuff...
the only thing that pissed me off today was Josh Savoy.. i walk into Music Theory and sit down.. and i remember that randy was wicked sad and left school.. soo i asked chris why.. and he didnt know.. but then Josh was like "there are something that we dont talk about and you DONT have to know.. ".. like i am nosey or soemthing just becuase i want to know where randy is.. and the fucker is looking straight at me when he says it right after he was talking about how people always have to have the last word to me and chris.. so i thought he was talking to me and i was like "why do you always do that??? you luv starting arguments huh..all i wanted to know is where randy is.. ".. and then he flipped out on me and was like "HEY!!! fuck you kid, you dont even belong in this class... i wasnt even talkign to you..just get out... ".. and im like.. "ermm.. oh..oops..sorry about that, you WERE looking at me, what am i supposed to think??".. and then hes like "god damn it, Will im sorry but i cant talk to you anymore or people will act all bitchy at me...".. and i seriously wanted to get up and punch him right in the face... and rip out that stupid fuckin lip ring..but that is sooo what he wanted.. he wanted a fight.. god... i hate you josh savoy.. your a stupid prick and i am seriously starting to doubt if you deserve to live..
3 .::Whispers To Me::. |
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 24 November :: 5.47 pm
Yeah, im a DORK
lol... yeah.. lol.. i wicked want to jam right now.. especially now that the projet is accepted..yep.. cant wait for vacation.. lol... kinda sad that ms halverson has a broken ankle soo shes stuck in the hospital for the whole time.. oh well... ashly told chris we saw Gothika.. lol.. i was kinda getting weirded out becuase he kept going "sooo how was elf??".. and id jsut have no idea what to say and start laughing alot becuase ashly would give me funny faces.. if he didnt know already, he would have from my laughing and grinning..... he was probly thinking i was stupid and smoked or something instead of goign to the movies... blah.. it woud had made sence since i acted all stoned when i got to his house.. and me and ashly had no clue what Elf was about.. and kept laughing at eachother when he asked about it..even though we supposedly saw it.. good thing she told him... becuse that would suck if he thought that the whole time..
i thought it would be a good idea to put my sn in my FTJ.. and now random grils keep IMing me and hitting on me.. some of them are really cute..lol.. i would be lieing if i were to say "they are really annoying"..im likeing this...lmao... probly why ive been happy lately.. :-P...
soo.. hmm.. yeah... 2 small entries for today i guess...
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 24 November :: 4.55 pm
hmmm... today was a good day..lol.. i was happy... im not sure why... i was happy though, alot....
not much happened at all.. i went to classes.. i got my senior project approved finally.. i have alot of hw tonight though *cries*.. jk.. ummm.. during lunch i went to mcdonalds with shian, erich, and dan... lol.. and then we went and played video gamese until home room...
kind of a short entry but hmm.. im lazy... and im proud ;)
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 22 November :: 6.37 pm
:: Mood: eating blueberry pop-tarts...
random shit
::Knock knock::
Who's there??
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?
Little Boy Blue Michael Jackson.
- Maynard james Keenan-
that is sooo terrible but awsoume too...lol... yeah... maynard is great (definetly not god) but hes great...
lmao.. randy says my nickname should be Todd "Chibi" Perkins... hahha... i wish it was true...lol
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 22 November :: 8.05 am
:: Music: Rammstein- Bestrafe Mich
Where's your room???
wow.. i havent updated my journal in a long time.. well... last night was wicked fun... me and ashly went and saw chris at work (i felt awkward but i guess it was all good).. like.. "hi chris, me and your gf were bored sooo we decided to come eat your pizza and see a movie"... lol.. anyways.. then we went and saw a movie... the ride home was sooooo fucked up.. i swear... it was hilarious and kinda scary but it was the best part of the whole trip.. we got to the car and all the windows were fogged up and i tried turning on the heater and stuff and nothing came out... i think maybe some gas came out or something becuase i felt really messed up...like..i fuckin missed her driveway... and just the stuff we were saying.. made absolutely no sence.. and the effect lasted long enough for me too run from chris's house to randys all "Ninja style"... i was like running all secretive like and i did a safety roll into his driveway in the middle of the night without a coat...then i ran back to chris's..yep... gas is bad.. thanks ashly for the super fun night.. im definetly going to get the heater checked out. lol
then in the mornign chris had to leave at 6:30... i wasnt really tired soo i left at like 7.. and OF COARSE my fuckin windows were all frosted over.. thankfully i had windsheild wiper fluid...yay
i dotn remember anythign from like 2 days ago.. or i would write an entry.. all i remember is that i think jeff was in school and his face was HUGE!.. lol... and marissa was being alittle "grabby" in english.. not that im complaining.. lol... she made that day.. :P
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 19 November :: 5.12 pm
:: Music: finger eleven- broken words
today was better then yesterday i guess.. i still miss haveing someone special in my life but today wasnt really bad..
lmao... and about the FTJ thingy, i shouldnt take that soo seriously either... soo what if the poeple on the website find me unattractive.. LOOK at half the poeple on that site.. their not exactly supermodels either... and i like those pics of me...
i didnt get to get online when i got home becuase my brother beat me to it.. he played chess for the whole time until now.. it wasnt even against anyone, it was against the comp.. hes weird..
well, dinner is pretty much ready.. soo im going to go....
4 .::Whispers To Me::. |
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 18 November :: 8.21 pm
im sooo bored right now... im just doing random stuff, even though i could be doing my hw right now... blah...
hmmm... my ftj is down pretty low....gah... its down to "6.019"... thats like the # i give people when i find them unattractive but dont like giveing low scores :-/.... hmmm... damn it.. maybe this whole FTJ account idea wasnt a good idea... its kinda sad.... i never thought i was attractive, i know im not.. soo its not liek im loseing something, but it still hurts just the same... kinda gets rid of any shreads of hope that i was wrong and my friends were kind enough to give me... but oh well.. and yeah, not really "oh well"..
well atleast i have my personalitity.... i dont know how my personalitlity is.. if its a nice one or bad one... from what i jsut typed probly a bad one... im like EVERY turn off imaginable and i hate myself for it which is another turn off.. circles and circles.....blah... people are always telling me "todd, you just have to know that your your own person".. or "you just have to grow up alittle, get rid of those issues"... and that doesnt fuckin help. all i want is to be happy liek all these other people around me..why hasnt someone jsut walked into my life... all i want is to meet someone that im interested in and that is interested in me.... someone that im always going to be able to go to... and is always goign to come to me....a companion.. the second that happens im not going to care about any of this shit... it will all go away and then i can jsut move on without doign all of the stupid shit inbetween and be happy... i meen.. i have done the whole "im my own person thing" and it work on and off.....
people better not give me fuckin shit for this entry... or i will be really pissed... even if its the turth... dotn tell me.......i know what they are goign to say... "todd, you are very immature, the world doesnt revolve around you... you need to grow up...".."todd, if you did that youd just be running away from what you have to do, and youd only be useing someone to feel better!".... well..ITS NOTHING LIEK THAT AT ALL!! if someone came to me and i fell for them i woudlnt fuckin just wlak off becuase i was happy... i wouldnt walk away from the person that would change my life and be my whoel world... i would never do that... i dont see where thiat would be usineg them... seroiusly... that fact that id feel better is only a side-affect... its like sayign that loving someone is really only useing them to love....
fuck this entry... fuck me..... fuck everything..
9 .::Whispers To Me::. |
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 18 November :: 5.37 pm
ASHLY!!!!! GUESS WHAT!?!?! i got my moms password.. i would have never in my whole life guessed it either.... its "sunday"..lol... what kinda of password is that.. YAY!!
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 18 November :: 4.21 pm
:: Music: finger eleven- for the ocean
venting.......
today was the total opposite as yesterday, in the morning i felt great but then by lunch A i felt liek the most shittiest loser ever... i dont know.. it just felt like everyone i cared about were too cool for me today... it was weird.. it seemed like everyone (other then lorna ;) ) that i thought of as being really close friends with ended up showing me that i was pretty low on their lists...... like.. i used to be able to say i had friends who kinda thought of me as one of their couple best friends but today it seemed like people didnt care if i was alive or dead... its a crappy feeling and im sure alot of people didnt meen for me to feel that way... im not blaming anyone, it was just one of those days that shit gets to you... ive always known that adam was definetly my least good friend becuase hes too "cool" (thats his opinion) for me but i didnt care becuase hes just some kid...thats right people ADAM B, is just a normal guy like everyone else... HELLO!..lol... i feel like im talking to a wall, hes nice and all but hes not a god, and dont expect him to love you back if you idilize him.. but it hurts when its the people that are close to you, ya know...a good examle of the infectios virus i like to call "the adam" would be that he wore girls pants today, now im going to make a bet of how many people are going to try the same thing in the next month (as soon as they can find some female pants to wear).. somewhere between 3 and 5.... and im going to laugh in their faces when they do... stupid people...
4 .::Whispers To Me::. |
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 17 November :: 3.54 pm
update to my last enrty:... lol. im dumb.. i have a doctors appointment TOMORROW, not today.. and grape soda is really good...
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 17 November :: 1.23 pm
:: Mood: bored
im in 4th block right now... i think today is the day i have to leave school at 1:30... but im not sure... or maybe it was 1:45... fuck... i dotn remember... i guess im going to have to guess 1:30... i have a doctors appointment in hitchcock or whtever...hitchcock medical center ...
yeah... im wicked bored.. lol.. today startd of with me being really depressed.. i just wanted to die... but now i feel better.. i dont know how or why but i feel better.. i guess mornings are just tough for me... i didnt even stand with the group at break.. i walked off.. i just wanted to be alone.. but anyways, im better now.. lmao.. finally my FTJ isnt TEN anymore.. lol.. i was feeling kinda like it was fake...
the morning announcement were extra gay today... the lady was like "when you belittle people you only belittle your self, so today be BIG people..."
My mom hasnt used the comp since yesterday soo i havent gotten her password yet... but its going to happen..lol.. that program is sooo fuckin great...lol... its sooo perfect for what i want.... lmao if she ever figures out i got her password and changes it, she wont realize that shell jsut be handing me her new one... hahaha..lol.. anyways... i gotta go... PEACE EVERYONE!
p.s. this is todd's friend erin and she says hello to people :-D and she loves todd and alan!!!!!!!!!
1 .::Whispers To Me::. |
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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2003 16 November :: 8.47 pm
im alittle worried.. i didnt do liek any of my hw... except for my english hw..
it was time well spent though... lol.. i found the perfect solution to my parents changing the parental control and useing AOL GUARDIAN.. i downloaded a sweet program... its a activity logger... it run in the background of the comp and just records ever thing that goes on.. ever button pressed... even passwords... yep.. and then it saves it for me.. it also takes screenshots every 3 secs but i didnt really care about that..lol.. the next time my mom logs into aol ill have her password... yeah... im smart..lol.. and your probly thinking "well.. todd.. shes goign toread this...".. but shes not.. she said she didnt even know what AOL GUARDIAN was hardly, a pop up came up and she pressed yes... shes not going to read this.. and im pretty sure now it only sends the names of main pages... and it doesnt matter.. all she has to do is log on once and not check her mail......::yawns::.. im pooped...lol.. omg.. i jsut realived that i recorded this whoel entry.. oops...guess that meens it works.. yay
1 .::Whispers To Me::. |
.:: From Behind My Eyes::. |
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