shiznit05
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2004 12 January :: 3.42pm
Do not automatically think that beauty always has to be defined by old-fashioned standards, Brittany. It is time to set your own definition. There is no need to squeeze yourself into some socially constructed mold that doesn't resonate with who you truly are. Your job is not to try and make sure that everyone loves you. There is only one person you need to satisfy, and that is yourself.
my horoscope makes me laugh
let it
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shiznit05
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2004 11 January :: 4.09pm
hey...who wants to play the let's clear everything up game? i do! i do!
ok, so here's the dilemna...sure i feel farther down on dougs list...and sure i think thats partially due to carmen...however, its not only carmen, dougs soul is currently being taken over a morrowind, and work and other such endeavers...so i dont blame carmen, nor do i not like her...carmen - i like you just fine, no bad feelings here. however, i can understand the confusion, i havent exactly expressed my feelings lately, so here it goes
yes, i feel down on the list, and yes its hard, but believe me, i'll get over it, im tougher than i look, and no, its not dougs nor carmens nor my own fault....its no ones fault, there are no fingers to point in this situation. and doug's "list" is not the only one ive been feeling down on...ive told some people this...ive got this feeling of not being needed surrounding me lately, im not a necessity in people's lives the way i used to be, or the way i thought i was, and thats been getting me down lately...i can list 5 different people right now that have made me feel that way...its not their fault...again, no one is at fault, its just how i feel, so doug, dont feel bad, i dont hate you, nor am i mad at you, besides who could be mad at doug? ;)
so is everything ok now? does it all make sense? if not, we shall try a hand at this game again
1 blow |
let it
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shiznit05
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2004 10 January :: 5.05pm
:: Mood: exanimate
last night we went to see big fish...there was a nice amount of us there...and it was a great movie, a few cried...i did not, im thinking i dont have a soul, i didnt even feel like crying..oh well, i told megan i would go see it with her ebcause she would bawl her eyes out, but i highly recommend it to all. after that we went to DQ, i got the ice cream i wanted, and that was about all, i think i just wanted home, and i wasnt being very good company
tonights the concert...should be interesting, im excited, i like concerts, they're fun. i get to see tara tonight, i havent seen her since Christmas, so that'll be fun, granted i'll be in a dress but oh well...i still get to see her, and maybe meet this boyfriend
i got this sudden rush last night to play FF4...so i took out my others old PS1...since he obviously has the PS2...but anyway, he had the game, so i couldnt play, and i was crushed...a little over reaction there, but i really wanted to play, and ive been going up and down lately and that just kinda broke me down right there..so i had to call him and talk to him and hes going to give me the game tonight at the concert so im extremely happy...good bye social life, ive got what i need now
next weekend im getting away..doug told me a needed a break, so im taking one, and im excited, im gonna go down south and soend some time with dani, she'll make me feel better, i havent felt really great for about a week or so, so hopefully next week it'll all be worked out
lately when people ask whats wrong, i just tell them im tired...i feel bad for telling them that, but its easier than explaining, so if i tell you im tired, just leave it at that, ok? its not meaning to be mean, its meaning to say that yea im tired, but theres more to it that doesnt need to be out there, so be happy with the im tired, and lets move on..it'll all be over with shortly
let it
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shiznit05
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2004 8 January :: 5.08pm
AS has been weird this week, yesterday we get there and dunn and dever tell us that they have thrown away the quizes we had taken the previous day because they heard from another teacher that kids were cheating across the room via text message....honestly, how dumb do you have to be? i would so get caught if i tried it...and then today we get there and dever hsa to leave early because she has a doctors appt and then dunns dying, and she said that if we bothered her too much she was going to breathe on us so that someone would be in as much misery as she is...funniest thing i had ever heard her say...made me laugh anyway, so today was basically a work day...read the two thigns that needed to be read, and some other crap...it was fun
concert tomorrow morning for this kids...i like kid concerts, their reactions are so completely different than any other reaction we could get from adults, they're just honest, if they dont like the song they'll just sit there, and if they really like it, they'll be laughing and clapping and jumping up and down...its just fun, i love to see their reactions. Then we have our real concert tomorrow night...it should be good, nothing too extravagant but it wouldnt be a waste...i mean students get in for a buck..so people should come, then we can all go out afterwards because its going to be over early..
thats pretty much it
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shiznit05
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2004 7 January :: 8.11pm
its been so cold lately!! we need to have some warmer weather...
today was fun, didnt have to play the dumb songs in band, instead i got to play dumb songs in clarinet choir...it wasnt bad but not fun, its an easy songs with like 2 difficult parts, but a few times through and it was no biggie, so easy morning...interesting pre cal...didnt have my calculator because nick had it, so i had to take dills and he made jokes about how it was his only one and i would be taking it, so i felt bad and said i wouldnt take it, then he was like are you underestimating my skills at math?! i can do this without a calculator! i said that was good, and i was glad i had a smart math teacher, it was funny, you had to be there
nice nap today in spanish, found an emotional sex book in chem and that kept me entertained for a period....funny stuff, sara ended up giving the book to herringshaw, he appreciated it. chem was fun...nothing too spectacular, ian beat me on the test we got back..the kid gloated, then yi told me the only reason he was gloating is because i normally beat him, she makes me happy lol, and AS was odd....we get there and dunn and dever are like you took a quiz yesterday and we're throwing it out, because another teacher told them that a few kids were sending answer via text message...how dumb do you have to be?! honestly, it wasnt even a hard test, it was over the cold war! not rocket science...then we watched a movie, and i found myself doing the whole slowly falling then quickly getting back up thing...but my eyes were open the entire time...normally they're shut...it was a dull movie, then we sat and chatted, what a way to end the day
came home...feeling yucky....slept...woke up and here i am...
exciting, right?
let it
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