shiznit05
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2003 9 September :: 9.42pm
It's like the worst break up ever and we never really had a commitment, and it hurts, and i miss him
let it
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shiznit05
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2003 8 September :: 5.06pm
:: Mood: im ok
im in a pretty good mood actually, today wasnt horrible, we got a yearbooks, the best picture ever in there is one of mandy and shes walking holding her trumpet while we were at the concentration camp and ian is behind her and the caption says...."Amanda Clink triumphantly carries her trumpet as Ian Dunn walks in confusion" or something like that, idk it was great, i laughed so hard, and i was by myself, so had someone seen me they would have thought i was crazy. oh well
so does anyone else feel completely lost in American Studies? just wondering because i do. anyway im out
1 blow |
let it
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shiznit05
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2003 6 September :: 5.42pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: AAR
ugh, ever been in one of those moods where you are just pissed off at the world? yea im there. i think i need an ian hug. little things today have just been pissing me off and they really shouldnt be, people are being stupid, everyone knows they're being stupid and nothing is being done about it, its like ugh!! i hate you and your stupidness....grrr
The guys lost last night to napoleon, they started playing well, then it all went down hill, but its ok, there's always next time, i have seen the football guys today, i kinda miss 'em, actually i know what i really miss, but id rather not discuss it, its better that i leave this one bottled up, nothing can help this situation.
went to black swamp today, i was supposed to be a bouncer and they said they didnt need me so josh sara and i went to the library to see doug work and stuff, it was interesting, then we just walked around, it was me megs sara stevie tool jackie nick and goph, this is where all the stupidness happened and ugh its stupid, tonight it a movie night at tool's i think im going, havent fully convinced myself, i think ive had enough stupidness for the day, but really, whats a little more? i guess thats it
1 blow |
let it
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shiznit05
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2003 2 September :: 4.40pm
:: Mood: wow
wow...times change so much
im starting to think my uncle was my rock, ever since he died my life has just been odd, its been such a rollercoaster, so many feelings just coming at me, i cant even understand me half the time.
i mean think about it, my uncle died at the end of july, since then, ive lost what i thought was a really good friend of mine - i mean we never see each other anymore, we never talk, word has it he hates me, but i dont know why and that hurts, but its ok, ive been hanging out with different people lately, i spent a whole day with jackie and i've never done that before, so she and i are closer now, i've played some pretty weird truth or dare games so ive learned more than ive ever wanted to and given out far more then i ever wanted to, im becoming friends with this new guy, hes pretty cool, always fun to be around someone new, ive cared about people more so than i ever have, i mean i was genuinely worried about ian when he was so exhausted after the game, i was scared to let him go off my himself, i ask people more often how they feel, who cares about me i want to know about them, and i never really used to be like that, idk, the last few months have been odd, the one guy i thought i would never get over, im over, i just wish we could be friends because hes a cool guy and i would like to just talk to him again, we used to have the best conversations, and before my uncle died guys consumed my thoughts, i used to always think whats wrong with me, am i so ugly that guys cant like me, is it physically impossible, am i that horrible, now ive come tothe realization, i dont need a boyfriend, i have friends, i have guy friends, im happy and nothing can change that, and right now life is good, so no one go around messing with that ok?
3 blows |
let it
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shiznit05
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2003 27 August :: 3.34pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: everything
weee
school has started, and so far, its not so bad, my classes are great, teachers dont seem to be too terrible and im with friends most of the day. i start out with band, which is great because my squad is amazing, plus we actually do stuff and it wakes me up so once band is over im actually energized to continue on with the rest of the day which is cool, plus rumor has it sit down is gonna begin really early this year, and sit down is what i really enjoy about band so im excited, even though im gonna have to start preparing a lot earlier, like now, im not too worried about it. then i go to honors pre calculus, its not so bad, i hear dill is a really cool teacher but he seems pretty dull, and idk, im sure things will change, but so far its not so bad, i sit by megs and stevie, and not by guys this year, i always do the stupid thing and sit by guys, this year i was finally smart and i sit by girls, after that i go to spanish, its easy, i can never her craig because this woman has 5 fans going, but she seems nice, she has a southern accent, its funny...then this is my pride and joy STUDY HALL, a whole 50 minutes where i can sit with jess sara nick and coomes and just chill, and sometimes do some work, but its really cool, then off to chemistry, this class is amazing, anthony is my sab advisor she i already knew her and shes cool, she acts like a kid plus everyone is in this class, ian megan jackie megs james jew, its great, i love it, plus jack sits in front of me ians to my left, james diagonal back, jess behind me and megs to my right, its amazing...then lunch! woo...then two periods of american studies, dunn and dever and everyone else, its too too cool, i enjoy it, today we got to go outside and interview people and we have to do a presentation on them and the presentation cant exceed 90 seconds so its not exactly brain surgery, im excited, i actually like school this year, its gonna be good
nothing else is really going on, since school's started i havent exactly been able to think about guys, which has been great, im almost completely over one, i thought i started liking another but idk, i think its best if we just stay friends, plus the fact he likes my best friend, so basically i am totally content wth life right now and i couldnt be happier :)
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