shiznit05
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2003 25 August :: 8.15pm
I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go
[Chorus]
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more
I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing
[repeat chorus]
Than waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....
[repeat chorus x2]
1 blow |
let it
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shiznit05
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2003 25 August :: 10.19am
:: Mood: drained
hmm its been awhile...
thursday night was preview night, all the band parents come and watch us perform preview and then halftime, then the parents come out at march pregame with us so they can get an understanding for what we do. my mom and heather marched with me and nick was looking for jackie but couldnt find her, i told him she was in the north chevron (sp) and he didnt understand, so he just marched with me, and at the end he was like 'omg, that is such a workout'...this coming from a football player, kinda scary, but it was fun
after that we all went out to baldwins, ive never been to his house before but it was a lot of fun, we watched bowling for columbine, well we started to then we kinda quit, but the little bit that i watched has made me want to go out at rent it and really watch it sometime, but yea his house is a lot of fun so we will definitely be hanging out there more often
friday night
BG vs. Otsego: 21-14
we lost, but it was still a good game, i had a lot of fun though, i knew the Otsego QB from when i was like 4, we grew up together and we wen fishing all the time, hes a cool kid, and i know how much he likes football, so for him to throw all of otsegos 3 touchdowns that night must have been very cool for him, so im happy, our team played well though, they just need some more confidence, and they wont get it these next two games because we play fostoria (amazing) and napoleon (more amazing) but its cool. im still proud of the guys, watching them makes me nervous though, i dont want to see them get hurt, maybe its the maternal instincts in me, idk, they're just my friends and for them to get hurt just wouldnt be cool, so even though i love watching football and love watching all the violent tackling and whatnot, i still want them to be ok
after the game we all went to megans to celebrate stevie and nicks birthdays, lucky bastards are 17 already, just kidding, i only have a little but longer to wait...i came to a realization though, my 18th bday will be on the last football game next season, how cool will that be? idk i think its cool, no one else probably does though, oh well
saturday night
hess's going away party at nelsons, it was really really buggy, but it was fun, there was fire, whats not fun about that...plus, the guys wanna do powderpuff again this year, and guess who they asked to be their coach again...fun times
yesterday we had turtle mania 2003, i spent like 8 hours at jacobys house yesterday, it was fun though, we did a whole lot of nothing, and it was great
today, i plan on doing nothing, i have to mow the lawn that'll take about 2 hours, i dont really care, other than that i plan on spending the day getting everything prganized for tomorrow, school starts tomorrow and frankly i dont care, everyones whining about it starting and really im ready for it, im read for having something to so, im ready to wake up in the morning and having a purpose, no more of this waking up and taking hours to finally get ready for the day..we have a two hour delay tomorrow which will help ease us into waking up earlier, but other than that we have nothing. and im ready for it
i came to the conclusion that this spring, im going to do it all...school, college, track, and a social life, it cant be that hard, go to school, go to track, get a 90 minute break between track and college where i can do my homework, get out of class by 830 (if its a 630-830 class) get home by 9, probably 1-3 hours woth of homework, get to bed by mindnight and wake up the next morning at 545, no problem, who needs to eat anyway? it'll be fun and challenging, im up for it
i guess thats it, im going to go enjoy my last day! wee!!
let it
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shiznit05
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2003 19 August :: 5.40pm
:: Mood: sleepy
allergy medicine makes me sleepy....
im in a good mood though, no depression, no feeling sorry for myself, im just happy, ive come to a conclusion in my head and i think it works
i went to registration today...band, pre cal, spanish, study hall, chemistry, then american studies....preety damn good, megs and i have 4 classes together! woo! as sad as it is im ready for school to start...oh well
i had uniform fitting today, uniform from last year still fits....still wondering if thats a good thing or not..oh well at least i didnt get bigger
band camps been going very well, squad is doing amazingly, and hopefully we start learning halftime tonight, football game is friday i am very excited, i love football games, maybe i'll get to wear a jersey this year, i wore metcalfs once last year, i dont think i'll ask him again, he doesnt seem to like me very much any more..i wonder what i did?
anyway, i guess thats about it, i'll update soon! promise!
4 blows |
let it
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shiznit05
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2003 18 August :: 10.23am
:: Mood: im better
i felt so horrible last night
after the guys stayed until around midnight saturday night, tara winston and jackie showed up around 1230...winston stayed until 245 then left because he had to be at work at 730, how that kid managed that i will never know, but it was a lot of fun, we were all slap happy and giggling at everything...good times
last night we had a movie night at jacobys, we watched the rock, i love that movie, i mean whats not to love? violence, blood, guns, sean connery? i mean come on! then when i got home ian and i had one of our talks, mainly about how he liked megan and how megan really just wants a friend because she doesnt have time for more, and i was trying to tell him that megan's jealous of me for the friendship that we have and how we can talk about pretty much everything and i dont think he understood, so i spent about 20 minutes trying to teach him how to talk to her like he talks to me...oh the agony...but anyway, i felt so horrible last night, i felt so alone and so depressed, idk what my deal was, i felt sick to my stomach, like a could burst into tears any second and that if i was to go to scleep i would just sleep forever and never wake up, then i went to sleep, and i woke up this morning feeling fine...idk what it is, i think i only ever feel horrible at night, in the mornings and during the day im completely fine, idk...im just gonna try and get over it and not care anymore, im 16, life goes on
1 blow |
let it
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shiznit05
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2003 16 August :: 11.42pm
:: Mood: confused/stupid
yea, so last night i was talking to dan and he was like yea ian and i wanna have a party tomorrow night since its their only inght that they dont have football practice the next day, so im like yea thats cool, just call me tomorrow and give me the details...well turns out wanting to have a party turned into a co-ed sleepover at my house...the guys didnt stay though, idk why though, you'd think theyd jump at the chance but anyway, it was me sara metcalf dunn jacoby and herringshaw, herringshaw as always was a big flirt, ian was histarical as usual, dan just kinda sat there and took torment after torment and metcalf put in his two cents every 3 seconds as usual...man for someone who cant stand to be around me he seemed to have a pretty good time tonight, he even talked to me and showed me his finger, but anyway, he also made bacon for everyone at 11 o'clock at night...i guess they all wanted bacon or something, idk i dont like bacon, but its about 1147 now and jackie supposed to come out around 1230 nick i think is coming but idk...if he comes thats fine but hes gonna be the only boy here, oh well, i have a headache, those guys can be loud
let it
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