oOoBuBbLeSoOo

:: 2004 25 September :: 9.41am
:: Mood: tired

last night

[pic `1]

[pic `2]

:: 2004 24 September :: 3.14pm
:: Mood: THRILLED
:: Music: none

yeaaaah
I'm trippin face tonight ha haaa :-D

:: 2004 24 September :: 12.13am

i needed that :-)

:: 2004 23 September :: 10.17pm

Pictures from nikkie's camera <3

[andrea nikkie n` me]

[nikkie n` me - cause we're cool hah]

[me andrea n` jimmy]

[nikkie n`me]

[liz kate n` me - w. my eyes closed hah]

[manda me n` nikkie]

[manda sarah n` nikkie]

[sarah n` emme]

[tracii n` me]

[tracii n` nikkie]

:: 2004 23 September :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: stoned
:: Music: Hilary Duff `Fly

Welcome back. :-)
Any moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of your yesterday

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?

[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can
deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

All your worries, leave them somewhere else
Find a dream you can follow
Reach for something when there's
nothing left and the world's feeling hollow

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?

[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can
deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

And when your down and feeling low,
just want to run away
Trust yourself and don't give up
You know you better than anyone else

Any moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of yesterday

[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can
deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

Fly
Forget about the reasons why you
can deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

Any moment everything can change

yeah I love that song. anyways I found this layout and fell in love :-) so I decided to start updating again cause people have asked. If you all don't leave me oodles of comments though I'll get bored of this again, so make sure you do!

much love

:: 2004 21 September :: 9.18pm
:: Music: weak x jojo

im so sick of everybody starting shit.. i think its funny that people have to make shit up to make themselves feel better.. i mean honestly if you have such an issue why not leave it alone.. i mean ive tried to be as mature as possible and just stay away from ppl i have issues with cuz im sick and tired of all teh drama and all the rumors and shit.. its all so gay that everyhitng is soooo far from the truth

but w/e im not gonna sweat it.. i know the truth..

ugh this winter is gonna be just like last winter.. i just hope i wont be depressed.. i dont think i will but.. idk as soon as the holidays come up.. itll hit me how alone i am..

but im glad that im becoming better friends with goncha and steph and jessy cuz theyre soooo nice i dont know why i was ever not friends with them! <33

sarah i love you so much you have no idea :( you amaze me and im always here for you

<3 Manda

:: 2004 19 September :: 5.45pm

another song...to this beat
http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=1413820&q=Hi

its called shit talkers bahahha

i heard you talking shit the other day
is that the only thing that you can say
you walk around like your something else
when your the one with wrists full of welts

talking shit to hide the lies
making up your alibies
someday someone will have enough
of you thinking your so tough

im speaking out now
taking one for this quiet crowd
they have seen enough
it is just way too much

acting like its just a phase
wasting all your yesterdays
get a life, forget your crew
grow up and just be you

------------------------
(chorus)
i am sick and tired
of dealing with you
this is just a small town
we dont need no crews

all i have to say is grow up

we arent that tough
you arent that cool
this isnt prison
its just high school

all you gotta do is grow up
--------------------------

im through with all your dirty lies
all you do is dramatize
talking shit to make a scene
as if i care whose tits youve seen

taking pills of ecstacy
spending all your money on weed
shooting up on heroin
how far can you stick your needle in?

im speaking out now
im taking one for this whole town
sick of all the stupid lies
breaking down your family ties

acting like its just a phase
wasting all your yesterdays
get a life, forget your crew
grow up and just be you

(chorus)

-bridge-
looking at your empty face
dirty looks all over the place
people dont care that youve got no class
take one for the team and shove it up your fucking ass

(chorus)

maybe now you understand
are you ready to be man?
get a life, and forget your crew?
grow up and just be you?

:: 2004 19 September :: 12.59am

BlckTangldHrt35x: he can destroy me tho
BlckTangldHrt35x: everybody can
BlckTangldHrt35x: because i care so much about what people think
BlckTangldHrt35x: and i put so much trust into people because i think theyre one way
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then they prove me otherwise.. and i get broken
BlckTangldHrt35x: cuz im just searching for somebody wholl be there to catch me like they promise to..

----

baby i dont wanna care
that she was on your mind
or that you think
about her all the time

i dont wanna know
that she still sweats you bad
or baby that you were
only the best she ever had

i dont wanna think about
what you two did last night
or whether you were
wrong and i was right

(chorus)
all i wanna know is
if your a waste of my time
all i need to know is
what is yours and what is mine

i dont wanna sit here wishing
for things i cant possess
wont you tell me straight up
your lies are all a mess..

i dont wanna stay up
crying every night
living for tomorrows
cuz today was never right..

i dont want to look at you
and think what could have been
ive thought about you long enough
your touch to me's a sin

(chorus)

i dont wanna hear about
how great your lives will be
or how it was her eyes you saw
when you were kissing me..

i dont wanna be the
only one whose left alone
the one who is forgotten
life spiraling out of control

i dont want to be the one
whose lonely in the end
the one whose wish was never heard
before she went to bed

(chorus)

i dont wanna be the one
swayed by all your pretty words
or the one who needs your lips to breath
when our hearts are only heard

i dont wanna be with you
when you look straight through me
spitting out your pretty words
its her you see not me..

i will always be the one
who gave all that i am
and youll always be the guy
who never gave a damn..

Goldie18

:: 2004 18 September :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: none- i have a headache

verry sickkk :o(

I can't remember the last time I threw up because I was sick :o( It suckss! I woke up from my nap and i was numbingly cold. I put on a sweatshirt and sweatpants and was still freezing. So mommy took my temperature and sure enough 102.3 eek! well it got worse, at dinner..i could barely eat, and then...i threw up what little chicken i could manage down. Then i took my temp again later and it was 103.8 so i took 3 tylonol and went to sleep. -barely slept too, it sucked. My dad kept checking on me, and asking if i needed anything. Then I woke up this morning, and threw up again. my temp didnt go down much...102.5 and i have been sleeping and resting alll day.
I cant go to prozdor or canouing tomorrow :o( i am soo upset about it too. -TO Natick USY: i love u, have fun and ill miss youuu! and to the pdorks i havent seen yet: :o/ another week now... boo~ :(
well- ima go to sleep. night night.
to me feeling better...*jodi*

goldie18

:: 2004 17 September :: 2.43pm
:: Mood: in love<3
:: Music: *Welcome Back*

*L'Shanah Tovah*

I love you and I am so glad everything worked out baby! xoxo always and forever.

--L'shanah Tovah everyone!!!

((p.s.- yes, i read prayer for our country this morning..yes i am still shaking..hahah))

:: 2004 17 September :: 10.05am

well this week has been nothing but drama!

thats all natick is.. im so glad that ive met ppl who dont fucking talk shit all the time..

ahh

GoLdIe18

:: 2004 14 September :: 5.51pm
:: Mood: dirty
:: Music: *Colt 45*

My Weekend :o)

whewph! what an amazing weekend. All I have to say is: FRIDAY NIGHT...was fun! and saturday: temple..haha, then chilled here, and then JANNA, roditi and reebs came over..we watched EuroTrip...its hysterical: but shhh...DONT TELL SCOTTY! hahah ;o) anyways, sunday was the first day of prozdor..what funn! i loved seeing everyone!

1st per: Core w/ lewntal...
*good people in it- packkked! im syced*
2nd per: Real World 24-7-365...
*wish us luck for getting thru it..NiKkI!*
3rd per: Jewish Identity/ Time w/ ELANA!
*BENJI!!!!!, andy, jen, elyse, reebs..amazing*
4th per: Yiddush!!! w/ Elana
*eek-msc, but andy and i are chill...:o)*

well....this weekend: opening natick usy event..and next weekend opening nerusy event..cant wait!! until then..

L' Shana Tova...a happy and a healthy new year!
<33 *Jodi...
p.s.-enjoy temple! :o)

cocopuff

:: 2004 14 September :: 3.24pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Oasis-

hehee
lol well its been a while since i wrote in here....

havent been able to really write since scholl started and shit and im not home till later.. then i have homework to do... but today i came home after school.. lol and i dont have ne homework so i decited to write in here....

nothign really new.. im a boring person.. but yea.. yesterday some fucked up shit went down.. lol look at mandas journal if u want the scoop lol... other then that shits been same old same old...

im lookin to change this again.. but idk cuz i like this bg alot... lol but yea...

i have an obsession with the band Keane... i dled a song by them in july( the one in my last entry) and then liek last week Manda sent me 4 songs by them to.. and i fell inlove wiht all of them! lol espically this one...

Keane
We Might As Well Be Strangers

I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space

I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a another time
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well be strangers
Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know

i think im gonna get some grub then hit the sack and take a nap.. haha im soo cool huh!?

I <3 U ALEX!!!

<3 Lizzy

:: 2004 13 September :: 7.24pm

worst day ever
BlckTangldHrt35x: no, i was walking down the street with lizzy kelsey meg katie and jessie
BlckTangldHrt35x: and they were all behind us
BlckTangldHrt35x: a HUGE group
BlckTangldHrt35x: cozzy and robbie and all those gay ppl
michaud815: o jesus
BlckTangldHrt35x: and fucking and im talking anf having a nice conversation with kelsey and all of a sudden i get fucking punched in the fuckng side of the head from the backk.. and cozzy and robbie are like "yeah forest ave" and all this shit and fucking i turn around and im liek what the fuck is that what is your problem with me
BlckTangldHrt35x: what the fuck did i do
BlckTangldHrt35x: and shes like you were talking mad shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: i was liek ok then tell me what i fucking said
BlckTangldHrt35x: and she was like i dont know what you said but you were talking mad shitr
BlckTangldHrt35x: and i was yelling and shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: and kelsey pulled me away
michaud815: omggg
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we walked away
michaud815: thats horrible >:o
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then we decided to turn around and go follow them but we didnt know where they went
michaud815: lol oh shoot
BlckTangldHrt35x: so we were talking by danas and i called him and had him come outside
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we stayed iwtyh him for a little and i told him what happened
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then we walked dt
BlckTangldHrt35x: and there they were
michaud815: ew
BlckTangldHrt35x: and lizzy went up to lindsey and was like so whats your problem.. is this setteled and lindsey was like yah i guess thats what i anted toi do and lizzy was likem ok but if this gets fucking brought up again.. or you anna fight amanda your gonna fight me too
michaud815: me too i'll be there
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we went into georges and ate some pizze
michaud815: swear to god, im tough, may not look it but wen im angry grrr
BlckTangldHrt35x: and dana was there and stuff
michaud815: aww
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then we went outside
BlckTangldHrt35x: and were siting on the little step thing and they were all like over a little bit from us
michaud815: stalkers
michaud815: god i cant beleive that
michaud815: who the fuck is lindsay
michaud815: or w/e
BlckTangldHrt35x: and they were talking shit and stuff and were just sitting there like this is gay shut the fuck up
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so this chick alyssa who hates all of us and is really fat walked by and matt screamed "YOUR A FUCKING FAT ASS SHIT TALKER" lol
michaud815: haha omggg
BlckTangldHrt35x: and now they all congragated closer to us
michaud815: omg
BlckTangldHrt35x: and dana was just like "shit talkers"
michaud815: i know right
michaud815: dude if this lindsay girl ever does this again, hell, not even that, tell me who she is im gonna go pick a fuckin fight with her, i want to fight so bad hahaha
BlckTangldHrt35x: and dana walked over to talk to someone who he was freinds with and lindsey was like why do u like her shes fucking jail bate and he was like look at this crew all around me your all jailbate
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then dana and john had to leave so they get in danas car and he yells out "so its a no go" lol our joke
michaud815: haha aww
BlckTangldHrt35x: and this chick keri was like "soo john likes his best friends girlfriend"
michaud815: ew
BlckTangldHrt35x: and taht fat chick alyssa was like "oh girl is his fucking girlfriend"
BlckTangldHrt35x: that girl*
BlckTangldHrt35x: and all this crap
michaud815: wow, shit went down today
BlckTangldHrt35x: and they still havent said anything to us
michaud815: :-(
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we start walking away to go to johnson to just sit around
BlckTangldHrt35x: and now they start screaming
BlckTangldHrt35x: "meet us at 6 at johnson"
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then we walk down and they drive by in a car and yell "6 at johnson" and we were like ok
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then they drive by again and change it to 530 and then they drive by again and are like riught now
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so we go up there
BlckTangldHrt35x: and theres little kids all around so we were like fuck its
BlckTangldHrt35x: it*
BlckTangldHrt35x: and lindsey was like 7 at johnson
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so we all left
BlckTangldHrt35x: and steph picked us up and we went to gonchas cuz goncha found out about me getting hit and she was heated and wanted to fuck lindsey up for touching me
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we went there and goncha was like that chick is gonna die for touching you and i felt so loved lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so we all drive back downtown
michaud815: aw
BlckTangldHrt35x: and theyre all on the common
BlckTangldHrt35x: and we pull up and dana just happens to pull up behind us
michaud815: sweet
BlckTangldHrt35x: and so were all standing in a big circle in the middle of the common and everybodys talking shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: and then robbie and cozzy just happen to ride their bikes up
BlckTangldHrt35x: and im screamingf at them and everybody was yellingm and all this shit
BlckTangldHrt35x: and goncha was liek so is this going down yes or no
BlckTangldHrt35x: and lindsey wouldnt
michaud815: hahahha
BlckTangldHrt35x: and steph drove me home
BlckTangldHrt35x: but i KNOW that this is not over
BlckTangldHrt35x: trust me

:: 2004 12 September :: 12.34pm

i hate being in the middle of all this drama.. all i want is to have fun and be happy.. and people always have to start shit and make shit difficult why cant people fucking live their own lives.. everything is all fucked up and so good at the same time i just like wish for once issues would fucking go away so i didnt have to fucking deal with all this shit and i feel like im causing drama too when really its fucking people who cnat live their own fucking lives.. i dont know what the hell i keep ranting about.. im fucking sick of all this shit..

god damn

--

I see dark clouds out my window
I know the storm is coming any minute
and the thunder just confirms my fears
and I know the tears are in it
I'll be cryin unable to stop
look here comes the very first drop

'Cuz every time it rains
I fall to pieces
so many memories the rain releases
I feel you
I taste you
I cannot forget
everytime it rains
I get wet

Darlin I am still in love with you
as time passes by it just intensifies
I know I'll never be with you again
I'll never find another with that kindness in his eyes
I'll be trying unable to stop
look here comes the very first drop

'Cuz every time it rains
I fall to pieces
so many memories the rain releases
I feel you
I taste you
I cannot forget
everytime it rains
I get wet

On sunny days I'm all right
I walk in the light
and I try not to think about
the love I live without

---

Always have, always will
I was mesmerised when I first met you
wouldn't let myself believe
that you could step right out of my wildest dreams
but you didn't know
that secret part of me
until we kissed an made it open up so easily

I always have
even when it didn't show
I always will
you know that I just wanna touch you
whenever you're close to me
I always have
doesn't matter where we go
I always will
you know that I just wanna show you
just how much you mean to me
always have, always will

Everything that you give in to
everyting you'll ever need
is locked up somewhere deep inside of me
you gotta know
but more importantly
you've got to stay and hold me while we live this fantasy

I always have
even when it didn't show
I always will
you know that I just wanna touch you
whenever you're close to me
I always have
doesn't matter where we go
I always will
you know that I just wanna show you
just how much you mean to me

Sometimes we try too hard to please
we should let love come naturally
and sometimes I don't know
just what you really do to me
that is O.K.
cuz it's all part of the mystery

:: 2004 11 September :: 12.11pm
:: Music: on a sunday

My Greatest Sympathy's *911*

i think all the time about why things happen.. why i lose people.. why i meet people.. why i have to fight with people.. why things change form bad to good so fast and where the in between? i think about life and what it means and i think about how much people i barely know mean so much to me.. i dont understand logic and i dont understand my heart or my brian.. i wish i did i wish i knew what to do i wish i knew exactly how to handle everything i felt, thought and did.. i wish i knew how to cure every heartache and heal every wound but the truth is i cant and theres nothing i can do about it.. i am completely helpless and thats what kills me thats what i hate thats what makes me depressed is not having teh power to change what i want to change..

last night i went to jimmis with lizzy john mike ryann mike costello lee and tim.. NICOLE ALLEN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LEFT ME TO GO TO THE FOOTBALL GAME!!! haha we had an interesting night i must say

awww dana got so sick and i had to take care of him :-) i didnt care that he was sick tho cuz i felt so bad and i didnt wanna leave him alone cuz he was sooo bad :(

well my sister came home last night :) yayyyyyyyy OMG i got her a gram last night and she was packing a bowl and she looked in it and it was moving.. and so she came over to me and lizzy and were like what is this and she put the bud on the table and we broke it up and there was a little fucking inchworm in it crawling around! how fucking nasty is that

Stepha4391: he must have been FUCKED UP
Stepha4391: little stoner

bahahahaha i love you

- manda

:: 2004 9 September :: 9.58pm

(chorus)
you cant break me
break me even if you try
you cant hold this woman down
you cant take me
take me even if you try
leave me spinning helplessly
but i wont fall down

tomorrow
is just another day
another way
for you to try and break me down
i can tell you now
you wont succeed
you wont reach deep inside me
because you cant get by me
you cant break me down

(chorus)

can you tell me
what its like to look at me
through bias clouded eyes?
hearing all the lies
echoing right back at you?
can you tell me what its like
to live a day in your shoes
the shoes of a weirdo
the shoes of a beauty
a beauty in disguise

(bridge)
you know
you know you cant break me
why do you try
you cant take me
away from what i am

(chorus)

can you tell me what its like
to like a life of ease
to do just as you please
and never have to wonder why...
can you tell me what its like..
to wake up in the morning
glad your here...
glad your in the world today...

2 commentz | you better fucking comment!!

:: 2004 7 September :: 10.42am
:: Mood: sick

sorry i havent been updating anything exciting lately..ive been kinda busy.. but ive had fun the past couple of days getting in toruble ;-) ;-) haha

lizzy and i hung out with dana and mike n ppl.. so that was fun :-)

ill write some more when i feel like it..

oh yeah im home sick lol

----------

another day
another story
another broken aliby

another heart
another worry
another chance that passes by

wont you find me
in the dark
when im lost and on my own?
wont you hold me
in the dark
when i dont know where to go...

(chorusx2)
the truth is
i need you
i love you with all that i am
i cant say
im sorry
im just waiting for the day that youll care

another empty heart
another broken vow
another chance to screw things up

another sunset
another wish
another hope that we could.. stay like this

wont you find me
in the dark
when im lost and on my own?
wont you hold me
in the dark
when i dont know where to go...

(chorusx2)

another morning
another mask..
just another way to hide

another beauty
who hates herself..
another way to hide the lies...

cocopuff

:: 2004 6 September :: 9.54pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: Vertical Horizon-

hmmm

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

[break]

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

So if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

^ love that song for some reason... manda knows the deal LOL

Yea soo schools started back up again... fuckgin can tell u right now i didnt miss it... but w/e i guess its somehting to do insted of sitting on my ass all the time at lest...

this weekend manda and i had fun.. lol managed to get shitfaced last night... hahahaha that was a fun time LMAO!! yea MANDA!!!! and we were high like all weekend.. but what else is new...

well i got school tomorrow (blows) and im soooo burnt out.. im off to bed...

:: 2004 5 September :: 1.02am
:: Music: hellz pit fucker :)

"Why not? Why would you wanna die?
Okay, you have feelings inside your head, okay
I understand that
Feelings lead to depression
When you have depression, you have a lonely void inside of your heart
Okay? And your heart means everything to the world
Okay?"

Your name is... manda
Your kiss is... breath taking
Your hugs are... gentle
Your eyes... light up a day
Your touch is... irresistable
Your smell is... exotic
Your smile is... entrancing
Your love is... unique

:: 2004 31 August :: 9.22pm
:: Music: me :-)

we start school tomorrow :-\

ickyyyyy well im sitting here in a towel haha with my ponds pore strip on my nose haha im a geek... well this summer had its ups and downs.. but over all i think that we had a good one..which came all too quickly to an end...so heres to summer 04' which i wont too soon forget..

----------------------

oh yeahhh i wrote a new song today :-)

starring into your eyes
wondering what life has in store for me
take a look through the lies
and see that you were always by my side

wanted to be eveyrthing that you could see
the one youd leave.. and say you loved
i dont know what the problem was
i couldnt have you.. no

(chorus)
i wanted you
i needed you
and you dont love me...baby

trying to be what the world just wants to see
looking the same as everybody else
nobody knows whats deep in my soul
nobody looks beyond these curls

brown eyes hypnoitized by the light
for so long living in darkness yeah
i dont know what to do...

(chorus)

i just want you to know
im gonna be alright now
dont need you by side now
i will be strong

i will hold on even without you here..
even without you here
even without you im moving on
moving on to a brighter day

(chorus)

baby kiss me
baby love me
tell me all your deepest sins
just hold me.. in the darkness and then
tell me everything will be alright baby

ohhh tell me its ok
ohhh just tell me its fine
ohhh im tired of crying
just want you to be mine..

i needed you...yeah
and you dont love me.. dont love me.. no
you just wont ever love me..
gotta let it go...
gotta let you go..
your gone..

- manda

http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=1558453&q=Hi

cocopuff

:: 2004 31 August :: 6.31pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Jewel-"Foolish Games"

blah

Yea well in sittin here on my last day of summer at 6:30 talkign to Alex... i know the wost thing to do on the last day of summer!!! im soo mad that school is tomorrow... this summer blew balls i was grounded for most of it,.. and then after that i dont liek we have liek 2 weeks in a row that one of my friends or i wasnt going on another family trip of boringness.. and even whe we were togeth we didnt do nehting of great excitement... but w/e it was summer... now fuckign school is starting up tomorrow and that sux and its kinda good... i miss seein everyone that i dont normally see and believe it or not i kinda miss havein shit todo... lol cuz this sum,mer was borign cuz there was leik nothin to do... but i gfuess schol will b ok for leik the firast 2 days thenim goann want to get the fuck out again..

This year is goann b 1000000 tiomes different then last year... last year i did shit and kida sucked at school.. this yea in cuttin back on smokeign and shit and bing retarted and im goann try and do kinda good in school... lol its goann b soo hard to cut back on getting high i doubt i can do it but im gonna try...

and this year... my god ther better b less drama cuz its fuckin gay to everyday have ppl fightin over stupid shit... i think the best way to stop dram is fuckgin bitches to shut the fuck up and stop talkin shit unless ur really gonna do something.. and the number on way to stop drama is how about not believen everythin u hear.. and stop saying shit that u dotn know a thing about... its really easy...

yeah well its my little bros b day... soo im off to eat dinner and have soo fuckin CAKE :-)

<3 lizzy

3 commentz | you better fucking comment!!

goldie18

:: 2004 31 August :: 4.03pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: *dmb cp mix*

volleyball...

If theres one thing I remember dreaming about when I was a little girl, was being in high school, playing high school sports. This past week has been crazy with captains practices and tryouts for NHS Volleybal 04'. But yesterday, when we were told the team would be cut from 20 to 12... 8 people were being cut from the team. I worried about that too much, and had an "okay" practice. Well, it wasn't good, because at 7am today, when the list was posted for who made it: my name wasn't on it.

I did learn from this though, I mean, I guess there comes a time in everybodys life, where they lose something, or fail at something and it hurts. That day came for me today... its funny though, what i failed at...was something I truely cared about, and was passionate about. It sucks, and I may never get the chance to get it back...:-\

Playing volleyball had become something I wanted to do forever, and now...who knows? I won't go out for the team next year, because...according to Mrs. Patch..she chose the people who could make the program better for Natick..andd...If I wasn't one of those people this year...why would I be next year?...

To the 12 of you who DID make it, I congradulate you, and wish you the best for this season. To my other 7....it sucks, I know.

:o( *Never Dream Too Big* <3 Jodi

goldie18

:: 2004 29 August :: 10.32am
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: *Summer of 69'*

summer2004...

that summer seemed to last forever....
yrush2004 was beyhond incredible...i can't even begin to explain it..maybe thats why ive waited a week and half to write in this stupid thing...its weird. I kept a Yrush journal this summer, of everything..but i didnt think to come home and write it all in here. The friendships, memories and bonds that were made this summer are ones i'll never forget. Next summer in Israel, we will be split up, friendships will change, but we are all prepared. I know that no matter what, the years ive spent at camp pembroke, are 6 years I'll never forget. :o)

I got this from Becca's xanga, its good...::
Can you live on memories alone?
I hope for you, my darling that you can�t
I pray that the way this world spins
Will turn you around with it
And face a new insight
On the mountains ahead

I pray that the way the wind blows
Will make you go with its breeze
Because in between those boulders
Lie flowers
And sanctuaries

Can you live on dreams alone?
I hope for you, my darling that you can�t
But I indeed hope your dreams
Will pull you along in your sleep
To the mountains
And the boulders
And the flowers
And the sanctuaries

I pray that the way I remember you
Will be the way you�ll remain
-Neta R.L, June '04

wheph..heres to the events, the friendships, the memories, the relationships and all that inbetween, that took place in summer 04'.. it was unforgetable...ill miss it all. <3

*I molly and larry my cathy freddies ;o)*

<3 always, Jodi*....

to a good year and next summer in the homeland...:o)

:: 2004 28 August :: 6.25pm

You and I got somethin but it�s all
and then its nothin to me �yeah
And I got my defenses when it comes
to your intentions for me � yeah
And we wake up in the breakdown of the
things we never thought we could be
�yeah

I�m not the one who break you
I�m not the one you should fear
We got to move to move you darlin�
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

Chorus:
Yeah � Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin�
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution to the sound of this pollution in me..yeah
And I was not the answer so forget
you�d ever thought it was me�.yeah
I�m not the one who broke you
I�m not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin�
I thought I lost you somewhere but
you were never really ever there at all

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

And I don�t need to fall out of all the
past that�s in between us
And I�m not holdin on, you know your
last word wasn�t enough to keep me
here

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
Wanted to be all you need
Somehow here is gone

Once you get free talk to me
I can feel you fallin
I know it�s out there,
I know it�s out there
I can feel you fallin
I know it�s out there,
I know it�s out there
Somehow here is gone
I know it�s out there,
I know it�s out there
Somehow here is gone

:: 2004 28 August :: 5.59pm

I wouldn't know what to do with another chance
If you gave it to me
I couldn't take the embrace of a real romance
It's race right through me
I'm much better off the way things are
Much much better if, better by far, by far
I wouldn't know what to say to a gentle voice
It'd roll right past me
And if you chalk it up you'll see I don't really have a choice
So don't even ask me
I'm much better off, the way things are
Much much better off, better by far
So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
And I'll keep kicking the crap till it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on
How can I fight, when we're on the same side
How can I fight beside you
So keep on calling me names, keep on, keep on
Ans I'll keep on kicking the crap will it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on
So keep on callng me names, keep on, keep on
And I'll keep kicking the crap till it's gone
If you keep on killing, you could get me to settle
And as soon as I settle, I bet I'll be
Able to move on

2 commentz | you better fucking comment!!

:: 2004 26 August :: 11.15pm
:: Mood: empty
:: Music: this ring x tech n9ne

i dont know exactly whats wrong with me but i feel so extremely emotional.. like i feel so empty.. and abandoned and like i dont even know what i feel i like.. feel like time is passing too quickly and like things are changing and i hate change.. i feel like everything i care about is just gonna leave me.. and im really sad about kaitlin leaving.. im going to miss her so much.. and all her freidns too.. theyre all downstairs right now.. for theyre last party before they all leave for college... i have a bad feeling about this year.. i feel like im gonna do bad in school and lose all my friends idk.. but like kelsey and all them dont even hang out with robbie anymore and i feel like im not gonna be able to see them cuz my friends wont want to and vise versa..

i dont know maybe im just stupid maybe everything will be fine i mean i hope it is.. i just have a bad feeling and i constantly feel depressed now.. like so on edge..

and i miss lizzy.. i feel like i dont know her.. i feel like everything is changing and i dont want it to.. we were so close.. like ever since we first met.. and everything is just getting fducked up

i dont know i dont udnerstand myself..

i gotta go..

- manda

:: 2004 25 August :: 10.39pm

Tech n9ne-Imma tell

The killa clowns in your town raising all hell
Tecca nina with the stamina coming to damage ya buckin'
The bammer when I bust with a bang.
And it ain't no clause that say fraud ain't no tall tales
Women love it when I hit when I covet the booty they
Giving it to me but it ain't no thang

We reppin' KCMO fellas and the ladies know
That we comin' with the killas I'm with the gorillas
The villains will get you when you disrespect us
Even the babies know Tech nina got crazy flow
We be giving the women the willy we sick of the haterz
Wanna pay us go to get this record

This is important we be courtin' every place we go
Get you up in the room ain't trippin' off of the groom
I'll give it to you anyway you wanna have it
Baby is a horse and yes of course Imma have 2 break the ho
Leaving the kids at home I wanna bone alone we hopping
Up and down like jack rabbits

So many kids put this on their daddy's mind
Never will I ever put him out there like that feelin' that
I did Tecca nina take it right back. Tellin' him that the mommy's
Boyfriend's Tech N9ne. Do be lookin' at me like you really wanna fight
Cat all Tecca nina wanna know is where the mic at?

[Chorus]
This is the town where the clowns put it down baby
(Mama say stop or I'm gonna tell papa)
Close the doe, before ya child hear the sound baby
(Mama say stop or I'm gonna tell papa)

[Verse 2]
151 Malibu rum and pineapple juice
4 those who don't know that's caribou lou origin in Missou
We having fun got some buns on some yac abuse
Rogue dogs and I'm reppin' the smoke a lot regime outlaws
Deuce klick and the zou

Stagga, when you with the nutthowze we gon have ya
Taking everything up in the book from ex to that puff you
Lookin' to get took. Abracadabra, 151 and coke is viagra
Give it to me give it to me give it to me got her in love
From having the bed shook

Look, I'm hella fed up with all the silly rumors dog
Sayin' that we got dropped JCOR that never ever would
Happen I mean what do they know? We kept our
Head up now money's coming to us all.
We kickin' it with strange wollowing in fame giving
The game only when I say so.

So crack some bub wit me demons get some
Love wit me. Do what you gotta do to get what you
Gotta get I gotta get it all Tecca nina's on a roll
Get on some shrub wit me 2 cases of Bud wit me
What you gonna do to get the women on krunk Imma
Hit'em with the funk got'em all like oh

[Chorus]
That's Tech N9ne, sex all the time
Teasing your chakra and ain't nobody hotter
(Mama say stop or I'm gonna tell papa)

[Verse 3]
One and then comes the two to the three and
That was the anthem now this the anthem
Hella rockin' the planet again you can't stand it again
Huns, they been comin' thru to see me man
Then I depants'em and I bust Randon in the bed
Imma land'em dog gwamn it I ram it again

Raves. I love to get high and get paid
Why do I wanna stick'em with another hit up out
Of abyss baby ya don't wanna miss the titts
Babes they love to come by and get laid
Why am I the pinnacle when I rip it Imma
Kill'em in this to the haters I gotta send'em
A gift

Bump this in your ride or in the club
Giving everybody what they need I give it all
So they give it all back to me
Hataz don't you hide just show some love
Do you dig it Imma rep the B. and never ever let the
C. get the best of me

So many kids put this on their daddy's mind
Never will I put him out there like that feeling that I did
Tecca nina take it right back
Telling him their mommy's boyfriend is Tech N9ne
Oh no girl yo babies at the doe

:: 2004 25 August :: 9.02am
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: imma tell x tech n9ne

i cannot stand this anymore.. when one thing goes wrong everything starts falling down with it.. i leave to take kaitlin to college on the 28th.. im gonna miss her :-\ and im gonna be alone with my dad i wont be able to handle it.. im gonna kill him seriously.. until i get my lisence idk what the fuck im gonna do.. my sister told me that after she got her lisence she was fine.. it was the freedom she had to just get out away from the house and just drive to just run away from everything and i need that badly...

but i really hate myself and i hate my family.. and i hate people i dont know what the hell is wrong with me im so on edge emotionally so that one wrong word from someone or one sad thing and i take it so personally and i get so upset.. i was at the school this morning getting my schedule fixed, and my dad asked my fucking guidence counselor about emailing teachers when i didnt do my work.. is he fucking gay im not like 2 years old i wanted to slaughter him.. we were walking out of the building and i started crying and told him i wasnt gonna go to dinner with his parents... i want to like..kill him seriously.. he makes me so angry he doesnt even know me let alone know whats good for me.. he has no idea what ive been through.. what ive seen.. done.. lived though.. what i feel.. he doesnt know anything about me.. i just feel like nobdoy knows the real me.. like ive hidden it for so long i might not even know myself...

and last night it was megs birthday.. and ryan ripped her off.. that was really heartless.. and i felt so powerless because i couldnt help i could just watch one of my best friends break down.. i hate feeling helpless.. and there was nothing i could do.. though i wanted to and i didnt wanna leave her alone because i knew that she would break down.. i love you meg no matter what happens... im sorry that your birthday wasnt what you thought it would be.. but i had fun beign with you and i am always here for you..

ill write some more later...

- manda