krazykelc1
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2004 25 August :: 2.29am
:: Mood: decent
:: Music: Tech N9ne-Imma Tell
this is the town where tha clowns throw it down baby...
today was my Hammy's birthday..I love her. It didn't turn out so good thanks to Ryan fogarty though :-) he has it comin to him.. it's only a matter of time
just incase you see this Ryan, I HOPE ROBBIE DECKS YOU & COZZY KICKS YOU IN THE FACE AGAIN :-)
I LOVE YOU MEG HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY!!
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 23 August :: 12.07am
Marilyn Manson-Tainted love
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I've lost my lights
I toss and turn I can't sleep at night
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love
Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
You think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love
Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love
Tainted love
good song.. haha props to Derek and Kaplan
you better fucking comment!!
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cocopuff
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2004 22 August :: 10.49pm
:: Mood: horny
:: Music: Oasis-"Dont Go Away"
hellooooo
yea well id have say things are FUCKED up.. and ther not getting ne beterr... but on the good side i dont think there getting neworse :-/...
other then that whole fucked up situation tonight was VEY nice lol...
yea well im not in the mood to write nemore soo..
1 comment |
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 22 August :: 10.48am
:: Music: pop that pussy x pastor troy
i think its funny how people who should be so close to you still manage to see right through you.. look right though you and completely act oblivious to how you feel.. i could be crying in my room and its like.. beyond my walls nobody knows whats wrong nobody knows what i feel or probably even cares its like im quarintined to my room.. like out of that room i have to put on a mask hide how i feel.. cant let them know im sad.. but i shouldnt hide it but i know he doesnt really care.. so i just shut up and cry to myself looking for somebody strong enough to hold me :-\
welll i just got out of the shower dont ask why im up this early.. i dont want to be.. robbie fucking called me at 10 and woke me up :( bahhhh
well im taking care of yoshi down the street hes so god damn adorable i wanna squeeze him lol.. oh yah yoshi's a dog if your wondering lol hes an akita and hes so cute!
well idk what else to write...
im gonna bake some cup cakes today :-)
2 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 22 August :: 2.25am
:: Mood: refreshed
:: Music: Master P-I always feel like somebody's watchin me
So here's my plan for this year.....
this Summer was everything I wanted.. it was perfect. I spent almost every day with the guy I labeled as the one I "love" ..but who the hell knows what the word means at 14 & 15 years old..
anyways.. yeah the perfect summer ended sadly a few nights ago.
but from a different point a view, it could be a good change. a chance to get my life back together and do things I wasn't able to do this year because of the priorities I had chosen... which are fun for a while but after a year of all of that... its like one big long vacation and no hard work. too much focusing on drugs and friends and...robbie.
well thanks to a few of my inspirations :-) Serge,Tori,Ryan, and an old friend..., I will be recovering hopefully... I came into high school different then when I left junior high... and I think it's time to change again... or atleast try, I need to see what else is out there.. besides what my heads been focusing on this past year.
and as far as robbie goes, obv me and him aren't supposed to be together right now...
and maybe not EVER. so whether or not that day ever comes he will remain in my heart and I can start a new life......
to my old friend who probably will not read this... I respect the reasons why you did what you did, I didn't understand then but I understand now. and I'm sorry.
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 21 August :: 2.58pm
:: Music: spread x andre 3000
ok so this is so gay.. god damn my dads girlfriend doesnt fucking leave my house.. shes always here and i cant even fucking come downstairs in eth morning without the fear shell fuckign see me in my pjs.. its so gay cuz ive asked my dad time and time again not to have her sleep over.. and what dopes he do.. has her sleep over...
well im going shopping in a few minutes so im happy..
ill write more later mwahhh
- manda
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 21 August :: 4.02am
:: Mood: same...
:: Music: Genie In a Bottle
x's are true, _'s are false
(_) I have never been drunk
(_) I never have smoked pot
(_) I never have kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) I never have kissed a member of the same sex
(x) I never crashed a friend's car
(x) I have never been to Japan
(x) I never ridden in a taxi
(_) I never have been in love
(_) I never have had sex
(_) I never have been dumped
(_) I never shoplifted
(x) I never have been fired
(_) I have never cut myself on purpose
(x) I never have been in a fist fight
(_) I never snuck out of my parent's house
(_) I never have been arrested
(_) I never made out with a stranger
(x) I never stole anything from my job
(x) I never celebrated New Year's in Time Square
(_) I never went on a blind date
(_) I never lied to a friend
(_) I never had a crush on a teacher
(x) I never celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(x) I never have been to Europe
(_) I never skipped school
(x) I never slept with a co-worker
(x) I never have thrown up in a bar
(x) I never have purposely set myself on fire
(x) I never have eaten sushi
(_) I never have been snowboarding
(_) I never have been happy with myself
(_) I never have met a movie star
(x) I never went to a prom
(x) I never bungee jumped
(x) I never have been to a pop concert
(x) I never have dated someone for over a year
(_) I never ate a mango
(x) I never killed anyone before ...or have i...
(x) I never went sailing
(_) I have never had a job
(_) I have never told someone how much they meant to me. (and paid the concequences)
(x) I never have gone sky diving
(x) I never ran outside and danced in the street naked.
(x) I have never had a lesbian/gay close friend.
(x) I have never watched C-SPAN for over an hour.
(x) I have never been out of the country
(x) I have never made out in a carwash.. sounds fun though
(x) I have never had cum come out of my nose during a blow job
(_) I have never gone night swimming with a hot person of the opposite sex
(_) I have never eaten peanut butter.
(x) I have never seen Citizen Kane all the way through.
(x) I have never broken a bone.
(?) I have never been able to think of original "I have nevers"
(x) I have never enjoyed eating veal
(_) I have never been whale watching
(_) I have never stayed up until 10 AM listening to music
(_) I have never seen real boobies
(_) I have never gone an entire month without some form of soda.
(_) I have never liked people.
you better fucking comment!!
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cocopuff
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2004 21 August :: 12.35am
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: Matchbox 20- "push"
lalalala
She said I don't know if I've ever been good enough
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
By a hand that's touched me, well I feel like something's
Gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry, well
This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you
Around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah we just might feel good
[chorus]
I wanna push you around, I will, I will
I wanna push you down, I will, I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted
I will
She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is
Gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
Cuz it's a little bit dirty well
Don't just stand there, say nice things to me
I've been cheated I've been wronged, and you
You don't know me, I can't change
I won't do anything at all
[chorus]
Oh but don't bowl me over
Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so
Crazy, crazy
Don't rush this baby, don't rush this baby
[chorus]
wow it has been a long while since i wrote in this thing...
we got are classes today... and mine suck!!
A1- Bio/ Hinnenkamp
A2- Study
A3- French/ Ruggaber
A4- Intro law/ Mcdade
A5- English/ Mcfraland
A6- World history/ Chute
B1- Algebra 2/ Wong
B2- Study
yea gay... tell me if ur in ne of them tho....
yea well im sittin here with brittany.. and were both bored outta are mindes... i thinkn were gonna go and get soemk food soo yea.... bye
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 21 August :: 12.38am
pics
http://www.picturetrail.com/kels7216
2 commentz |
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silentcriez
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2004 20 August :: 11.24pm
english - collins
latin - geckle
choir
algebra - billet
biology - doyle
world history - brenneman
biology again..
study
studys - b2 c3 c4 d6 f1 f2 g4 h6
gym - d5 g3 h5 - buschenfeldt
--
break my heart into a million peices
stab me in the back
spit into these brown eyes
and i'd still want you back
bruise me, rape me,
touch me too
after all that
i should leave you
(chorus)
break me beat me
love me leave me
after all ive been though with you
cant love and leave you
like you did to me
but i cant leave
i love your kiss
i love you face,
your eyes are bliss
im in a daze
when your in my sight
blurred for so long
cant see wrong from right
(chorus)
i kiss you
and its like im high
i breath you in
and never ask myself why
why you hurt me
like you do
im intoxicated
under your voodoo
(chorus)
(bridge)
you tranquilize me
with your touch
it fills me up
almost too much
empty eyes reflect in yours
void of everything i need
but i look past all that
loves all that i see
(chorus)
call me crazy
if you must
you aint got nothing
without my trust
2 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 20 August :: 5.03pm
:: Mood: same...
:: Music: Monica-Shoulda Known Better
Schedule.....
lemme know if you have anything! =P
A2-PE (Anniballi)
A3-Geometry (Linsky)
A4- English (Simms)
A5- Intro. Law (McDade)
A6- Biology (Doyle)
B2- World Hist. (Darragh)
Studies- A1, C5, E1, F3, G5
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 19 August :: 10.29pm
:: Mood: same as last..
Switchfoot-Dare You To Move
Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself
Lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 19 August :: 3.18am
just let me talk to ya...x3
(jonjon)
i'm a hard hittin playa in this game
everytime i'm away i'm always calling ya name
the love i need is truly incomplete
and i cry for love until it knocks me off my feet
the burning desire fire sparks passion burning heat
fills your soul, hits you hard now hug it tight
voice sings tone deep like barry white
lets be a family lets do it right
(chorus x2)
i want to be with you all night
kiss me touch me love me right
your kisses fall so sweetly
but i cant hold you boy
(mandi)
im coming over
Said you want me around six o'clock
im coming over and i am hitting the spot
i try and love you but you push me away
said you dont want to, you dont think of me that way
(chorus x2)
(mandi)
call me at night
why dont you call her?
you tell me your secrets
you keep them from her
whats the deal
what do you feel
if you werent wrong was i?
i dont know just where we stand
you gotta make up your fucking mind
(chorus x3)
(jonjon)
streets got love but i got love for you
don't get it twisted your a part of the crew
real love has to grow out like a flower
after some time love will show its power
i'll be your god, show you the way in the darkest hour
i've never had something thats so real
never had something that my heart could feel
i speak this poetry so my mind can deal
with the pain and struggle as well as the love
think of me as ya' angel not from above
i'm here now whenever you feel the need to escape
my loves in your heart with every move you make
i'm not dead but you feel my loves passion
your the type now that i'd trade my cash in
people try to break us but we say never
this love we have it will last forever
(manda)
give me a kiss
look into my eyes
tell me that you dont need me
i dont know just what to say
if you dont think of me that way
that way
(chorus x2)
your kisses fall so sweetly
but i cant hold you boy (x2)
1 comment |
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 19 August :: 2.37am
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: crying
good-bye again, my beautiful misery
Won't you make me understand,
Why you would say the things you said to me,
You made me believe we would be forever
But it was all a lie
If it never really was what you had for me,
Why did you say that you wanted me, needed me,
If it never really was what you meant for me,
Tell me
Now I know I've asked you time and time again,
Were you sure you didn't want another girl,
I would of understood it back then,
But you had to wait until I gave in,
Now I know I've been a sucker for your love,
Baby tell me what the hell was I thinking of,
I should of listened to them when they told me
But I learned the hard way
Why would you play with my heart,
When I gave it all,
It's tearing me apart,
All you had to do is say so,
You're making it so hard
Tell me why baby......
* * * * *
when words that could tear your heart apart are thrown at you unexpectedly-it just hits you like a rock and you don't think, don't speak, don't know what to say, and don't say anything right..
so this is to you Robbie, the feelings I couldn't quite surface through my tears.. you've taken everything from me and crushed it ..for one last time. so with my final good-bye I'll start my life over; though I may not want to, I'll leave you knowing nothing but this, my heart remains with you.
regulator420i: u were right
2 commentz |
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silentcriez
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2004 18 August :: 12.15pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: cold x crossfade
:( nobody leaves me comments anymore and its sad you bums arent cool.. lol
the sky above me is dark
like a black hole
speckeled with white spotches of stars
they hover above me
as if taunting me
whispering haunting melodies
into a summer nights breeze
i hold my hopes so high tonight
as i glance up at the ocean of a sky
my eyes trace the murky waters
until they land upon one tiny speck
one small star
i pour all of my hope out
and all of my dreams
making a wish
with all of my might
everything inside of me
just wants to scream out for you
the pristine landscape around me
echos my fears right back at me
i covet these things i cant have
and crave for a life i cant live..
wasting my days
under this atlantic sky
that i wish would engulf me into it
despondancy takes control of me
as i fall to the ground in tears
no more will i wait up at night
wishing on those hopeless stars
i dont see that in reality
i only get things that i need
and no more will i wish for you
i know that those dreams
wont come true..
thank you great big ocean of a sky..
no longer will i ask why..
my hopes are lost with the stars forever
as i watch the sun come up
---
im starring up at the ceiling
making wishes on paper stars
i know they wont come true
but i just keep wishing for you
baby why do i bother
why do i try?
i know that you
would just pass me by
i dont know why
i sit here thinking
you could ever be with me
i guess i like to dream
a dreamer
they never get what they want
no a dreamer never sees the stars they wish upon
oh dreamers they are left waiting alone
because they dont know what to do
they want something more
all the time
they want something more
than whats in front of them
they keep wishing on those
hopeless stars in the sky..
while real life passes by..
---
some poetry.. reflecting how i feel...
5 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 18 August :: 12.05am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Franchize-White Tee
I don't understand guys.
help me out.. leave something
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 17 August :: 9.24pm
sometimes i feel
like im taking over myself
sometimes i feel
like these things that i feel arent real
dont know what to do
when im losing you
cant stand being wthout your smile
whens it my turn
to feel the things that they feel?
whens it my turn to shine?
living in the shadows of another
aint the life that i had planned
just wanna be something special baby
just want you to be my man
but i guess that wont change
i guess ill stay the same
i guess i cant feel
these things that i want to feel
i guess i cant see
these things i want to see
im blind to everything
except this pain i feel
oh its nothing new to me..
my heart is used to this pain
sometimes i feel
like im losing it all
cant touch the ground
theres no one to catch me when i fall
sometimes i feel
like the world is falling down
and everything around me
crumbles to the ground
theres nothing left
for me to hold on to
oh theres nothing left
for me to stay true to
no theres nothing left
nothing left thats real
nothing left to feel
except for this pain
oh its nothing new to me
no nothing new you see
im the same old girl i used to be
baby nothings changed
nothing is new to me
like these stars i see
i wish on them
they wont come true
but its nothing new..
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 17 August :: 2.39am
this feels like eternal hell. Nothing less. Pain, anger, confusion, hurt, never knowing how I'm gonna feel from one minute to the next. Hurting because I hurt those who I love. Feeling misunderstood. Analyzing everything. Nothing gives me happiness. Once in a great while I will get "too happy" and then anxious because of that. Then I self-medicate with drugs. Then I physically hurt myself. Then I feel guilty because of that. Shame. Wanting to die but not being able to kill myself because I'd feel too much guilt for those I'd hurt, and then feeling angry about that so I cut myself or smoke to make all the feelings go away.
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: Very High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 17 August :: 1.34am
"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with"
-SEX AND THE CITY
3 commentz |
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 17 August :: 1.29am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Qstrange-Eternal Bliss
new journal layout
let me know if you like =)
living in the |shadow|
of someone elses dream
tryin to find a hand to hold
but ever touch felt .cold. to me
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 15 August :: 4.33pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Boston's Classic Rock 100.7 (woodstock weekend)
somethin a lil other than rap crap
Oh oh oh oh oh oh, You don't have to go oh oh oh oh oh
You don't have to go oh oh oh oh oh, you don't have to go.
Ay ay ay ay ay ay, All those tears I cry ay ay ay ay ay
All those tears I cry ay ay ay ay ay, Baby please don't go.
When I read the letter you wrote, it made me mad mad mad
When I read the words that it told me,
It made me sad sad sad, But I still love you so
I can't let you go, I love you- ooh baby I love you.
-Led Zeppelin D'yer Mak'er
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 15 August :: 11.50am
:: Music: give it up x midtown
I just got home yesterday from NH with lizzy :-) we had fun.. lol and we wont mention what went on in the boat house...
--
i lie awake
and im drowning in your eyes
i see your face
and your wearing your disguise
i fall in you
and everything seems fine
then i see the truth
and im struck blind
dont wanna see the reality
dont wanna see that this could be wrong
dont want to be over
dont want, dont want to be over..
(chorus)
time is gone
time is gone
it opens the doors
and closes them and you change...
like the wind as it drifts leaves away..
and the spring slowly melting into summer
and the birds are all singing in laughter
slowly melting me back into you
its the seasons of lonliness that change you
i walk along
and i dream your here with me
and then i wake
and i see the reality
im all alone
and your nowhere to be found
im all alone
and still your all around
but i cant see you
where you stand
your gone and i want you for my man
but you wont want me for your own
you dont
no you dont want me for your own
dont wanna see the reality
dont wanna see that this could be wrong
dont want to be over
dont want, dont want to be over..
(Chorus)
do you think that i dont care?
do you?
do you think that i dont care if your gone
do you think that i dont care baby...
cuz i do...
----
X x OpNWiDe x X: ok, I have a friend who went to preschool with you and knows you
X x OpNWiDe x X: addie hodge3
BlckTangldHrt35x: HOLY CRAP
BlckTangldHrt35x: are you kidding
X x OpNWiDe x X: I KNOW@
X x OpNWiDe x X: no, lol
BlckTangldHrt35x: she was my best friend lol
X x OpNWiDe x X: I jsut spent like a week with her
BlckTangldHrt35x: i havent talked to her since like my 1st grade bday party
X x OpNWiDe x X: I KNOW!!! lol, she told me
BlckTangldHrt35x: she remembers me???
X x OpNWiDe x X: haha isnt that so weird
X x OpNWiDe x X: yes!
BlckTangldHrt35x: me and her used to mollest this kid george jenkins lol
X x OpNWiDe x X: b/c I was talking about ryan and how he was dating meg with this girl suzy and she had seen you and meg a tthe mall (like I was trying to describe to ehr who meg was) and I was like ya shes friends with amanda malts the girl with long dark hair
Auto response from BlckTangldHrt35x: hang on doorbell
X x OpNWiDe x X: an addie was like...no way
X x OpNWiDe x X: lol
X x OpNWiDe x X: heres her sn: Babyblu952
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 15 August :: 12.43am
Happy Birthday James Patrick Young :-)
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 14 August :: 12.37pm
at miss faheys house right now
last night was fun..
dylans fucking hott :-)
Lizzy and Manda come home todayy
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 13 August :: 12.53am
:: Mood: satisfied I suppose
:: Music: 97.7
I <3 you
I talked to robbie today.. I guess he was confused about whats going on between us too...
but I dunno whats going on.. he's leaving tomorrow to go to NH so I'll just have to wait until he gets back to talk...
Jimmy's Birthday Is Sunday!! :-)
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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2004 12 August :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: waiting..
:: Music: twiztid-wondering why
whats going on with us...
no phone call in 3 days...
no nothing. last time I talked to him I asked him why he doesnt just stay single if thats wat he wanted.. he said its not wat he wants anymore and asked me wat i wanted n i said it doesnt matter wat I want anymore, its up to him....
so I'm guessing he's made up his mind:-\
cause he hasn't called or nothin....
you better fucking comment!!
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silentcriez
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2004 11 August :: 12.17am
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: lip gloss and black - atreyu
"I want you to know that i miss you"
yeah so im going to NH til friday with lizzy and her family.. so i wont be updating til i get back :(
after all these images of pain, have cut right thru you,
I will kiss every scar, and weep you are not alone...
then I'll show you that place in my chest where my heart still tries to beat.
aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream. the stars right out of the sky
and can destroy the prettiest starry night. every evening that I die
live love burn die
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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::
2004 10 August :: 11.33pm
if i gave you pretty enough words
could you paint a picture of us that works
an emphasis on function rather than design
arent you tired cause i will carry you broken back
and blown out knees..
i have been where you are for a while
arent you tired of being weak?
such rage that you could scream all the stars right out of the sky
and destroy the prettiest starry night every evening that i die
alone i am exhumed just a little less human
so much more bitter and cold
after all these images of pain have cut right through you
i will kiss every scar and weep, you are not alone
then ill show you that place in my chest where my heart still tries to beat...
you better fucking comment!!
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krazykelc1
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::
2004 10 August :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: high as a cloud
:: Music: Nas-Ether
HAPPY 8/10
I LOVE MEG AND MANDA :-)
you better fucking comment!!
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